...........

About 8 months ago my boyfriend started a sort of jam-band with some guys from school. As they started spending more time together, I started becoming friends with his new bandmates/friends as well, just hanging out as well as band-related stuff like promo photo shoots and shows, and other various things I do to help out the band. One of the guys, we'll call him Dave, and I, became especially good friends. He had a spare period every day that he would usually spend in my art class hanging out, and he always invites me to hang out with the guys and whatnot, but I've never really thought anything of it.

That is until recently. The songs Dave has been writing lately all allude to being in love with someone who doesn't love you back, someone who is with someone else, general lovey-dovey kind of stuff, and I don't want to be arrogant and assume that they're about me, but sometimes there are certain lines in the songs that make it seem that way. And in the last month or two he's been inviting me to hang out more and more without asking my boyfriend to attend these events. Like last month when the boyfriend was away on vacation Dave asked me to come over and watch them record some tracks. I always politely decline because it seems inappropriate. But I don't really want to assume that it's my company he enjoys, especially, and it's more that I'm so involved with the various activities of the band that he wants to include me. Does that sound like it could be it?

He's also been kind of like...flirty? I guess you could say, although he's not very good at it. For example, I spent ~12 hours doing some graphic design work for the band, and I sent it to him and he said (copy-and-pasted): "well then....thank you verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry much. i would give you more thanks but i think some people would frown upon it....haha...i really appreciate all your support. thank you. you are awesome." And just that kind of thing in general.

I guess the whole point of this thread is that I'm kind of confused. On one hand I don't want to be arrogant and going around assuming that everyone who is nice to me is in love with me, but I also don't want to accidentally lead him on or act inappropriately if he does like me. And in that case, what should I do? I just really don't want to act stupidly and hurt Dave's feelings, and I'd like to know what constitutes 'leading him on' so I don't do that. Can I still be his friend?I don't want to do anything that would drive him and my boyfriend's friendship apart, either, so should I just ignore the whole thing and hope it will go away?

Just start spending less and less time with him, he'll probably get the idea, drop into a pit of depression, quit the band and start an acoustic solo project with even more angsty lyrics.

Ask him what's up with the new songs.

If they're about love that can't happen, then he's not exactly thinking about trying to steal you away.

Communicate, feel silly, forget about it and move on.

HAHAHHAHA. I laughed hard.♠

His facebook status is: 'It's so hard to love somebody...somebody that don't love you back.' How embarrassing. Both the sentiment and the poor grammar.

That's cute.

Ask him who he's referring to in his status, maybe add something in about how you'll tell her how awesome he is and try and hook them up.

If he shits himself, or comes up with some awkward excuse as to why he can't tell you who it is, then you know it's you.

He sounds like the kind of guy who will never make a move anyway, so you should be alright as long as he can control himself.

Just stop spending time with him. He sounds like a creepy motherfucker and you don't want him to get any more attached to you then he already is.

Bad idea, that gives him a shot at admitting his unrequiented love, you're better off trying to set him up with a friend.

Actually that's a good point.

Although by the sound of it, she won't have much chance of setting the guy up with anyone.

I think your boyfriend needs a slap.

__________________
Behave Children, or Daddy will be forced to put on Joe Le Taxi again.

Just stop spending time with him. Its not difficult

"Hey, wanna hang out later?"
"Sorry, I have to do this project"

"Wanna meet up at the mall?"
"Sorry, I have to make love to my dog. We can hang out later"

Its very easy to let friendships dwindle and die. You leave on the best of terms and you still consider yourself friends. Just friends who never talk or spend time together.

Haha, I've heard that before. Why in this particular instance?

And to everyone else: I can see why not talking to him any more would make sense...but he's always around. If I got to the band's shows to support my boyfriend...Dave will be there (because he's the guitarist/singer). He's part of my core group of friends; it would be terribly awkward to ignore him.

I guess what it boils down to is I don't know if I should ignore his infatuation until it goes away, or acknowledge it and tell him how it is, and hope that that turns him off of the whole thing.

Who's awesome.. You're awesome!

God that hits embarassingly close to home.

But I ended up fingering this chick, she MIGHT'VE told her bf, they broke up, but he never said shit to me about it and we're still.. well. this describes it.

I fucked it up but..
I don't regret it. He was a controlling dick head to her, like literally every time I was over there there would be a huge fight filled with charged words, started by him, and would straight up YELL at her for the stupidest shit, like littering.. and she always told me about it until one day I told her she didn't deserve it. She took the lead from there.



My advice to you is Punk_Rocker_22's, almost completely verbatim.

Failing that, only say what is necessary to this guy and only hang out with him around with your boyfriend. That's easy enough, he can't make any advances so he'll be forced to forget about you.

But what would be really funny is if it wasn't about you at all, and you confronted him, and he laughed at you.

Some people are just so fucking stupid and have no balls.

Walk up to him and tell him what you think is going on. Ask him straight up if its true. If he says no, say sorry, its my fault, i didnt mean to start anything, i love my current boyfriend.

If he confirms its all true, then you have a choice to make, continue fucking your boyfriend, or go retard strong on the new guy and fuck him.

Simple enough?

Nice, complaining about his grammar. What a snooty bitch.

listen, ask him about this shit, if he actually comes out and says that he ikes you, let him down, easy, let it be your secret blah blh blah.

we men aren't made of jello, we do get over shit.

it's best to deal with this lest it just become awkward( which I already think it is)

It really is best in this situation to just keep quiet. It doesn't sound like he's going to say anything straightforward and neither should you. I mean, keep being yourself, keep being friends, that's cool. It sounds like you're really involved with the band, which sounds fun. If he gets too close for comfort or something, you have to remind him of your boyfriend (and his friend/bandmate). If he comes out and tells you, don't make a huge deal of it. Just tell him how you feel at that point. Maybe you should also try to get more time in with the boyfriend.

Good luck!

I think you're preassuming too much, but maybe that's just me.

Just ignore the subject, as if you had no suspects. If it becomes more and more obvious, well...

If he doesn't have enough of a dick to actually make a move on you and instead posts hints on the internet about his situation and expect you to interpret them then why should you bother telling him how it is?

He clearly knows how it is, if he didn't he would ask, if he has any balls at all. I wouldn't bother mentioning it, treat him like you would any other friend, it's easy not to lead guys on. If anything does come up I'm sure you're capable enough to make the situation very clear