Originally Posted by plehem12

I was with this girl for a year and a half. We've been broken up for about 3 months. I was supposed to move, I told her I wasn't ready to live with a SO so I didn't want to take her along, so she broke up with me. The move ended up messing up, I'm still here.

We haven't seen or heard from each other for about 3 months. I heard she had some new guy. She just contacts me on instant messenger tonight. She makes small talk and acts like I am anyone else. After speaking for just a couple of minutes she quickly lets her guard down and goes from hinting at things and then quickly from there to straight out telling me she misses me, she wants me "bad right now", and so on. I am giving responses that imply that what she's telling me isn't getting me all hot and bothered. It is, but it's also making me confused which is why I am here.

What I guess I am worried about is one booty call turning into a regular thing and then turning back into a relationship. I don't think that would be good. I kind of want it, but she is still the exact same person, so I know I really don't want or need that again. If she grows up a little, I'd really like to get back with her. But not now. What could I maybe do to prevent that? Is it even worth risking?

And would I really want to get into a relationship with a girl that cheats on her boyfriend? I suppose this guy is just a rebound or whatever, but it's still a boyfriend. Who says she won't then cheat on me with him? That'd worry me, since she seems to be able to do this so easily and guilt free (from what I can tell on IM..). But I know what we had is a lot more than what she and this new guy has, this relationship is still very young. She probably wouldn't do it to me. Or would she? What do you think?

And finally, what are your thoughts on me fucking the girl when she has a boyfriend? I know I wouldn't want someone to do that to me. But is it everyone for themselves? Should I give a fuck? And before you answer that please consider the fact that it has been too long since I last had sex with someone else present in the room with me. I could really, really use this. What do you think?

Originally Posted by uncle_einstien

It may seem like a tempting offer, and i know once you've been going out with someone for a while, you / they can confuse the feeling of love, with what they are normal and used to.

If you ask me, i wouldn't go back to see her. You know her better than me, but things will go back to how they were and you will hurt yourself more in the long run, even if things seem okay for a week or two.

Trust me, you'd rather be single and have freedom and no worries, than spending every second without her thinking if she is cheating on you, and every second with her when she might next cheat on you.

If you really believe that things can work out between you, then go for it, or go for a quick fuck, either way it's up to you ultimately. But are you sure you love her? not just that you've been with her a long time and are used to being with her?

Whatever you decide to do. keep us updated.

good luck !