Do any other guys here have trouble with phrasing things badly when talking to women? The past couple days I've caught myself doing this quite a bit. For example...

When talking about my woodcarving hobby: Sometimes I'll just get obsessed and spend all day with a piece of wood.

Last weekend: You're like a cat, if I stop giving you attention for a couple minutes you come up and demand it. You want I should start petting you too?

Earlier today in IM
her: it kinda stinks having big boobs
her: they get in the way
me: like how?
her: when i jump
me: ok, I can see that happening

Yeah, each of those times, the girl thought it was funny (and a whole room full of people that heard the wood comment), but I'm sick of sounding like a fool. It's embarrassing.

Fortunately for me, these were all in casual type conversations, so it's not like I ruined a pickup attempt.

You want I should post mine too?

I think you just care too much. None of those sound awkward to me.

None of those sound weird at all unless you have can twist words easily.

If the girl finds these things weird or dirty then you may be onto a winner my son.
Think about it...She percieves you all day with a piece of wood as being dirty, make it dirty, like "So you're thinking of me with a boner...Let's go with that. Continue on your thoughts of my penis...I'll get carving! ;) "

Getting into innuendo-based conversations can be quite productive at times. :D

Don't say this.

Don't make such a big deal of it, if you really want, screen what you're about to say, for a second, using the 13yo part of your mind.

Don't say this.

Don't make such a big deal of it, if you really want, screen what you're about to say, for a second, using the 13yo part of your mind.

Well...A good day to you sir!

Seriously though, I have gotten kisses, blow jobs and sex many times using innuendo.

In this case, don't bring it on on purpose like a pervert would. If she says anything, use a bit of light innuendo and see how it goes from there.

Well...A good day to you sir!

Seriously though, I have gotten kisses, blow jobs and sex many times using innuendo.

In this case, don't bring it on on purpose like a pervert would. If she says anything, use a bit of light innuendo and see how it goes from there.

I do encourage light, slightly joking innuendo, had worked for me. But jumping from common conversation to 'keep thinking about my penis' is a bit creepy and a big jump, though moar innuendo, along with gauging her reaction to it wouldn't be a bad idea, so long as it isn't creepy or horribly out of place.

Mate, don't change a thing. Each of those examples are funny, and probably better than the standard response. Relax, it's you, love yourself.

wtf are you talking about?
Those are genius comebacks :P
Say it with a deadpan smile on your face.

Don't make such a big deal of it, if you really want, screen what you're about to say, for a second, using the 13yo part of your mind.

These are just the things that slip past my filters. You don't even want to know what they catch.

Relax, it's you, love yourself.

Hehehehe. I am such a child. You guys are right, I just take myself too seriously sometimes.

As for using this stuff for pickup attempts... Well, the only woman I'm currently interested in wouldn't go for that sort of thing. Yes, she'd find it amusing, but it wouldn't get me anywhere. She's even more dense than I am when it comes to flirting.

But that's another subject entirely. And I swore up and down I wouldn't bitch about it here.

Be a bit more laid back.

Edit: And less nerdy.

You have weird hobbies. Woodworking...carpet-laying...linux...etc.

I'm not saying you shouldn't have certain hobbies, but if you spent time learning to box instead of lay carpet, you'd be laying something else a whole lot more.

but if you spent time learning to box instead of lay carpet, you'd be laying something else a whole lot more.

nicceeee

a deadpan smile

Isn't that an oxymoron?

I do it all the time. Not necessarily sexual ones, but poor word choices all round.