No, nothing to do with sex, more just relations, and I can`t think of a better forum for it, though if it exists, move/delete this.

Alright, I've been sharing an apartment with a roommate, a girl I've known since grade 6, and kept loose contact with since then.

She's usually pretty level-headed (except in relationships) and logical, and we got along fine since august till about...a week into january, roughly when I broke up with my ex.

She has a boyfriend, a guy about 3 years older than her, they see each other 3-5 times a week or so usually, going well from what I know, he got her a ring for christmas, etc.

For whatever reason, she's turned into a total bitch since early jan, with no real reasons I can see. Let me explain:

When I came back from the xmas break, she had essentially taken over my bathroom (there's 2), it was a mess, and as much stuff as I shuttled into her room and asked her to clean up, there was always more. My toothbrush/shaver/etc. were always unplugged in favor of a grungy hair curler, her hairdryer, etc. Cans of hairspray litter the counter, and various soaps/shampoos litter the edge of the bathtub. I don't think she actually uses her own bathroom anymore, at all, really.

If for some reason I'm not awake by 6:45 (I usually wake up at 6:30-7ish), she bangs on my door, loudly and repeatedly, reminding me to wash my dishes from breakfast (and usually half of hers).

We've always split dishes/other chores, and it's worked fine. For the last.. 2 weeks or so, she'd go out, without doing her dishes, and (If i wanted clean plates or glasses) I'd end up doing them, with her saying she'd help when she got back home, except she only disappears into her room and locks the door when she gets home and goes straight to sleep. Cue bitching at me over never doing dishes and always leaving a mess (whereas I'm the only one who cleans now, and I don't leave wrapper/spills on the damn counter), and that she does 'all the work'.

She's become very disrespectful to any of my stuff, I found one of my desk lamps in her room (never asked permission) a few days ago, and my alarm clock ripped from the outlet (in the process snapping a piece from the power bar), probably because an alarm went of when I wasn't there, and she was too lazy to find the clearly labeled 'off' button. There's been a lot of change (upwards of $20 of coins) missing missing, I've since hidden the damn box.

She behaves as if she owns everything in the kitchen, and all the food in the fridge. I get bitched at for grabbing another glass because there's a dirty one in my room I should use instead. There's half-full bowls and glasses in her room that have been there for days, by contrast. :\

It's damn hard to talk to her about any of it, it turns into an half hour of bickering and her complaining about how everything in her life sucks and I'm a lazy slob. I've turned to more or less hoarding my own things, and constantly locking my room.

Moving out is not an option, as I've got nowhere else to stay, and I'm locked in a lease until may or so. Ideas on how to improve/fix this, at least temporarily?

Cliffs:

-roommate of about 6 months turned into a bitch lately, doesn't clean anything but bitches that she does everything.
-doesn't respect any of my property at all, or personal space (washroom, my room)
-can't move out, and any discussion so far as gone nowhere.

Edit: Just one more bit, she's started to use my towels/hairdryer/etc. at will, which besides leaving me with nothing to use, is fairly nasty and disrespectful.

For whatever reason, she's turned into a total bitch since early jan, with no real reasons I can see. Let me explain:


contemporary time peroid/ life period just crumbled, came to the realization of "insert here" and can't live with it/ deal with it, more importantly, DOSE NOT KNOW HOW.

people equal shit, by richard cheese.

u CAN just act like nothing happened, close yourself off into your bed, and just kick it and chill for a hour with headphones or some shit, but still...

WHO AND WHAT IS THE PROBLEM HERE, seriously.

contemporary time peroid/ life period just crumbled, came to the realization of "insert here" and can't live with it/ deal with it, more importantly, DOSE NOT KNOW HOW.

people equal shit, by richard cheese.

u CAN just act like nothing happened, close yourself off into your bed, and just kick it and chill for a hour with headphones or some shit, but still...

WHO AND WHAT IS THE PROBLEM HERE, seriously.

She's become irrationally irritable/complain-y, disrespectful (yes, compared to before), besides my semi-recent breakup I haven't changed how I act at all, if anything I do more housework/etc. than before, never accuse/bitch at her, and never disrespect her things or space.

Since this is S&A, my suggestion is to put your penis inside of her, report back once done for further instructions.

Tell her to stop being such an obnoxious bitch (a back hand can work wonders)

Roommates suck, it's very difficult to find one that you won't get sick of or one that you can trust. Once they start to get bad, it gets worse because you either:
Ignore it and do as they so which basically allows them to continue being dumbasses or in most cases get worse.
Or... fight it and try to be logical which always results in them getting worse in retaliation.

People are fucking stupid, I'm not even willing to be roommates with my best friends because I'm irritable and I just need to be alone at times on my own terms. Living alone ftw.

What possible useful suggestions could anyone here really have other than just talking to her? She's doing things that are obviously objectively wrong and hypocritical. There's no way I can think of to get her to stop doing them other than telling her to. It doesn't matter if it just turns into a fat lot of bickering, since there's really not much else you can do. How does she justify using your bathroom instead of hers? Have you asked? When she says you have glasses in your room, you should physically lead her to her room where the dishes you described should be. She should be able to see them if they're there and you point them out. It seems like you have a ton of objective evidence to make your case. If she's halfway reasonable, she should accept it and change.

Ask her to lay off whatever drugs she's started on? Tell her she better not start pawning your stuff for her fixes or you'll sodomize her & her beau.

Leave some tasty stuff in the fridge that is laced with laxative.

What's wrong with her bathroom? Is she trying to share yours as a way of dominating you or what?

i say put a new lock on your bathroom and bedroom

i respect your privacy why cant you do the same for me?




and get plastic cups and paper plates

You sincerely need to tell that bitch to shut the fuck up.

Wait.... so you are capable of writing in a non-stylized easy-to-understand manner. ...strange

Wait.... so you are capable of writing in a non-stylized easy-to-understand manner. ...strange

You're not 8 yrs old any more...

But...you...could dress like you are & sit on my lap & we could discuss...

Errrr...maybe not. :p

I'd leave some poisoned food in the fridge so she'd get sick as shit after eating your shit.

And explain to me how you haven't thrown all her shit out of your bathroom and been like wtf is this shit even doing in my fucking bathroom you stupid fucking bitch. Use you're own fucking bathroom or I'll fucking beat your stupid fucking ass.

Sweet jeebus, I go to the gym and it's broken 2 pages.

Oddly enough she is on a light dose of antidepressants, moonie.

My bathroom is the one with the shower, forgot to mention, which leaves a big loophole. She has her side of the shower (small shelves and a towel rod on each end), I have mine, and the cabinets under the sink and over the toilet were exclusively mine, as she had hers in her own bathroom. When I got back from the xmas break (5 days after her) she had taken one of the under-sink cabinets, and one set of the above-toilet ones (half the space, essentially).

Her bathroom is a mess, cluttered with makeup/hair products, I'll see if I can't get her to clean it.

I have been tossing her things into her room, cleared out the cabinet behind the mirror of her things (I mean come on...), and so far she's still got that toilet cabinet, and one makeup case left in the under-sink cabinet.

I'll see if I can talk to her tomorrow about cleaning her bathroom/not putting so much shit on my counter/etc., and just start locking my room up from now on, till I figure the rest out. :\

Dude, you've got the perfect ryan-hanks, romance-comedy type situation here.

Your girlfriend just broke up with you, her boyfriend might dump her soon. You've known each other since your hormones started raging, and you happen to live within the same four walls.

Bone her, share your sad stories of broken hearts, bone some more, and then after making some stupid mistake that makes you feel as if you've lost her forever, realize you're undying love for the girl and kiss under the rain.

I just turned one big negative into a positive with a lot of potential.

Cheers mate!

The only thing that you really can do is talk to her, but be forcefull and logical.

She already has a bathroom there is no reason for her to be in yours.

Remind her about how well you and her got along the first semester.

If you really care for her as a friend you could also try to talk to her about her depression and try to console her. It seems that something happened to trigger such a sharp change in her behavior

A. Find her a new roomate and move out.

B. Find yourself a new roomate and ask her to move out.

C. Put a lock on your door, and set up a formal dish-washing arrangement either splitting the days to do the work, or offer to do all the dishes for a set fee. Say $20 a week. Same with food, either she stops stealing or she starts paying for 1/2 or whatever fraction of your food that she eats. For the door banging, have her agree to quiet hours where you will not disturb each other, earplugs will also help. For the bathroom, since your's is better you just may have to split it, but make sure you agree to whose shelves are whose. Get these on paper and signed as a sort of living/roomate contract also get on this paper how you split rent, and any other standing arrangements that you have. If she goes against them, have a friendly chat with your landlord about how soon you can get out of the lease and how much it will cost. Living without a negative person in you life is a giant plus, and it worth just about any price the landlord asks. If he won't let you, document her breaches of contract and move out and notify that landlord that you've moved out. You might end up in court, but a roommate contract will give you a lot of leverage to push the liability over to her. And don't worry about screwing your "friend". A real friend would keep her side of the bargain.

Cliff Notes:
Wall of text crits you for 43851963 damage.
You die.

Oh come on, that was the most goddamned paragraphed thing I've ever written here, get some ADD medication then give it another shot.

I'm feeling one of 3 things here....

1) The drug angle someone else already mentioned.

2) You are no longer "safe" to her because you are now single. She didn't mind co-habitating because it was like living with a gay guy......."he has her and they are happy, he won't mess/flirt/try to get with me". Not saying you HAVE flirted or even hinted at anything since the breakup....but in her psyche the parameters have changed. She could be unconsciously "pushing you away" by all these ridiculous behaviors.....whether out of genuine fear, or not wanting to be tempted by her own possible desires. Whatever the case she is purposely putting up walls between you two....and the only thing that has changed was your relationship/availibility status. Remember we are NOT dealing with a rational creature here, she is female after all.

3) She is just a shark and smells blood....preying on your vulnerabilities during this time its taking you to recover from your ex. OC, you have ALLOWED most of this to happen....and it has just festered to this point. The minute she started incringing on YOUR shower space, YOUR counter space, and all the other barriers she's crossed without you saying a word....you set the precedent that it was "ok". Perhaps you were too far down in your depression that you were numb to it as it was happening, but the fact is it was/is happening with your full blessing.

The only people in this world that get walked on, are those that LET THEMSELVES get walked on. The first shower you came back from break and discovered that lost space, you should have reclaimed it...IT IS YOURS. The first time she nagged you like your mom about cleaning up after yourself, you should have retorted with a joke or a promp "fuck you". She is only treating you the way you've allowed yourself to be treated, and that statement pertains to just about any human relationships. Now that it is bothering you, do what is necessary to change it....either grabbing the bull by the horns and TAKING what is righfully yours or some other means. However you do decide to go from here, make sure you don't put the onus of the blame ENTIRELY on her shoulders because you do share in SOME of that blame for allowing it to get to this point.

Frankly, I'm disapointed you let it get this far. You need to knock some sense into that cunt.

1. Give her your bathroom, and take hers. Now she won't have an excuse to use your bathroom, and you only need it for showers.

2. You need to fuck with that hoe to make her move out. Go buy some meat from the store. Place it in her vents. Let it rot for a week or two. The smell will be horrendous. Then buy a gas mask, remove the meat, dump it, call landlord and say you want her to pay for it to be removed. Now you've financially fucked her.

3. if you're too much of a pussy to do this, I suggest buying a mini-fridge for your room and putting some locks on that shit. But if you're not too much of a pussy, then eat everything that's yours in her fridge. Then eat everything that's hers. Put locks on the cabinets so that she can't get new glasses until she's cleaned her dirty ones.

4. Take all the tactics she's used against you, and use them against her.

I'm feeling one of 3 things here....



The only people in this world that get walked on, are those that LET THEMSELVES get walked on. The first shower you came back from break and discovered that lost space, you should have reclaimed it...IT IS YOURS. The first time she nagged you like your mom about cleaning up after yourself, you should have retorted with a joke or a promp "fuck you". She is only treating you the way you've allowed yourself to be treated, and that statement pertains to just about any human relationships. Now that it is bothering you, do what is necessary to change it....either grabbing the bull by the horns and TAKING what is righfully yours or some other means. However you do decide to go from here, make sure you don't put the onus of the blame ENTIRELY on her shoulders because you do share in SOME of that blame for allowing it to get to this point.


THIS is right

buy a lock for your room, attempt to get a mini fridge or such to store food, set aside a small area for a few bowls,plates,forks,soons that after you use them wash and put back in your room. Store all items from the bathroom in your room.

Since your territory consists of the bathroom start throwing away things of hers that are out of order. When she trys to retaliate she won't be able to because all your items are safetly under lock and key in your room :).

Alright, small update. Talked to her some last night, variety of topics. When I got up this morning her bathroom was cleaned, and she'd moved some things back over there. I took the liberty of moving the rest I didn't want in there, when I got home from class.

It may just be a fluke, but her dishes from breakfast/lunch were also done when i got back, we'll see if that keeps up.

I pulled the majority of my non-perishable food out of the kitchen, notably coffees, tea, canned drinks, cereals, etc., since none of the food is marked, and grabbing something from my closet for breakfast or a self-made lunch isn't too bad to do.

Good post, Guru, thanks, and yeah, I essentially did let her do this, I had other things on my mind and this slipped by until it got to this point.

This. Lol.

But seriously, this.

just pray she doenst break up w/ her boyfriend or things will get worse(unless shes hot)

Encourage and compliment her, and for the love of God make shure this is not a temperary thing.

Que?.

Jesus Christ, 28 posts without a single request for a picture? I'll be the first then.

On a more serious note, glad it's starting to get turned around, but that may just be temporary, and she'll go back to the old ways. Was she using both bathrooms when she had her shit scattered in yours, or did she just abandon the other one because it got too cluttered with filth?

She was using hers a small amount before, but then eventually not at all, because it was too cluttered.

I'd post pics, but I do lack permission for now. O_o

post teh damn pics of her

shes on drugs