so the story is as follows...

kinda long please read...


It starts like this my wifes sister came up here to stay with us for the holidays, well I work for five days at a time, and this past week that I went to work my wife and her dumb cunt sister decided to throw a party at MY HOUSE, not really a big deal to me....if she would have told me she was going to it was basically only girls there and only about 5-6 so that doesn't bother me if she would have told me, but she didn't instead she decided to lie about it to my face more than once, so I find out by deleting some shit out my recycle bin they had taken pictures of all the alcohol and what not, so I ask my wife about it and she doesn't answer so I leave to go cool down and I do within an hour, so I come home and im cool calm and collected until I open my wifes fun and start looking at her pictures and low and behold there is this motherfucker in my house while I'm away fuckin just chillin drinking out of my fridge, to me this was just beyond disrespectful to me, in my opinion my home is my castle I'm the fucking King and my wife of course is the Queen, but to see some other guy in my castle while I'm gone just made me flip off the handle, and I started shouting and throwing shit around punching holes in the hole (mind you I will never hit a woman) I end up throwing her phone against the wall and breaking it....and what really gets me is that she doesn't understand how that is disrespectful she keeps acting like its no big deal..


so I ask you S&A how would you handle this what can I do to make her stop being such an idiot?

if she would have told me she was going to it was basically only girls there and only about 5-6 so that doesn't bother me if she would have told me, but she didn't instead she decided to lie about it to my face more than once, so I find out by deleting some shit out my recycle bin they had taken pictures of all the alcohol and what not, so I ask my wife about it and she doesn't answer so I leave to go cool down and I do within an hour, so I come home and im cool calm and collected until I open my wifes fun and start looking at her pictures and low and behold there is this motherfucker in my house while I'm away fuckin just chillin drinking out of my fridge, to me this was just beyond disrespectful to me, in my opinion my home is my castle I'm the fucking King and my wife of course is the Queen, but to see some other guy in my castle while I'm gone just made me flip off the handle, and I started shouting and throwing shit around punching holes in the hole (mind you I will never hit a woman) I end up throwing her phone against the wall and breaking it


You could start by using punctuation.

You could start by using punctuation.

I can have you killed

I can have you killed

Which is an awesome way to get constructive criticism.

I can have you killed

No, you couldn't.

But realistically, I'd be fucking pissed if my girl had some other dude drinking my booze in my place. I would probably yell the fuck at her and make her realize that she had committed a grave wrong and that it would not be tolerated again.

Lay down the law, no more parties for wifey or wifey's friends.

I can have you killed

O RLY?

I did think you acted a bit excessively when you broke her phone and whatnot, but I can't blame you for nutting out. I would have done the same. If someone tries to take one of my beers at a party they get beaten up, its just disrespectful. Let alone having some prick in my own house, drinking out of my own fridge, without permission, whilst I didn't even know he was there, nor did he have permission to even step foot in my house... Fuck that would piss me off

I can have you killed

Carefull.



Do you and your wife ever.. you know, kind of talk to each other? I dont mean every day convo, I mean sitting down and seriously talking, ie "it bothers me when you do /whatever/ because it makes me feel /whatever/." and so on.

Now you've had a chance to calm down, maybe you should go talk to her calmly and tell her why you're pissed off?
Maybe she genuinely cant see why you're angry, so it's kind of important she knows how much it bothered you,else she might do it again!

Ok, so it's wrong of her to have parties while you're away and not tell you / lie about it. But she lives there too, right? I don't think its unreasonable for her to want to have friends (including MALE friends)over sometimes, (and 5-6 girls over is NOT a party, in my eyes), because she must get lonely without you. You need to talk to her properly, and not overreact and break her stuff. Or else she'll probably think you were pissed at her having people over, NOT the fact that she lied about it.

His wife didn't throw the party, it was her sister. And not only did she do it without telling him, she also lied about it multiple times. If I found out and she said that she threw a party, I would be cool with it. But If I found out and she lied to me, well her sorry ass isn't sleeping in my house tonight.

OP........YOU are the idiot, through and through. So another male was in your house drinking, and THAT is why you had your little fit? How much of a butthurt insecure little boy could you be? I mean really, you are pissed because someone brought a guy to the festivities? Or is it the fact there was a party at all....how dare the world have fun while you were toiling at your job. Maybe they should have had a candlelight vigil until your return, and good ole wifey could have been waiting by the door with her apron on?

The reason she lied is because more than likely you have a history for being such an overbearing asshole. You probably should be somewhat scared that a guy could steal your wife from you after just a couple of hours of drinking......because by your behavior a homeless guy under a bridge would seem like prince charming compared to your silly immature self.

DaGuru FTW.

And I'd say that even I'd handle it better than you (op), really.

http://southdakotapolitics.blogs.com/south_dakota_politics/images/tonysoprano.jpg
"I can have you killed"

its not the fact that she had people over, its that she LIED about it over and over again, I've never yelled at her, I have a very even temper, as for the guy in my house, my house is my kingdom, you do not allow others in while you are away, when you move out of your moms basement you'll understand this until then stfu/gtfo

its not the fact that she had people over, its that she LIED about it over and over again, I've never yelled at her, I have a very even temper, as for the guy in my house, my house is my kingdom, you do not allow others in while you are away, when you move out of your moms basement you'll understand this until then stfu/gtfo

I'm married too jackass, and probably older than you. You are completely full of shit. You've "never" yelled at her the whole time you've been with her......yet are punching walls and breaking phones because another being with a penis had a few drinks at your house? GIMME A FUCKIN BREAK. You are a control freak, and a scared little bitch. Because all control freaks are scared, and if you didn't have such a tattered self esteem you wouldn't feel so "threatened" by another male.

Oh, and my wife doesn't lie to me....because she doesn't have to. And I don't have to lie to her. So excuse me for having a legitimate and HEALTHY relationship, while you have your disfunctional idiocy. 2 years from now she'll probably divorce your stupid ass, and then you'll be paying alimony and/or child support all because you are a butthurt little boy. Go see a shrink and find out why other men put such fear in your heart......cuz you got fuckin issues dude.

You handled it better than I would have, there is nothing wrong with your wife or girlfriend having male friends or having parties that you can't attend, howerver:

Wife lying to your face + party you weren't told about + pics of guy drinking at party + wife not telling you about guy = she is fucking the other guy.

Unless she can come up with some serious explanation for all of this, I would say she is a cheating lying whore who deserves to be tossed out into the gutter, fuck breaking her camera, get the truth or get a divorce.

Have a nice day.
p.s. hope she isn't cheating, that sucks

I can have you killed

Do it.

You are right in being unhappy/upset over your wife lying to you about anything significant. But physical violence is not a normal response to such a situation. Neither is emotional abuse.

I am perhaps more disturbed by your inistance that you are the king of your castle. While you acknowledge that she is your queen, you seem to have tad bit of overload in the 'ownership' attitude department. This, along with the essence of your complaint, is very symptomatic of a controlling personality. One which if left unchecked is alomst always self-destrucive.

I suggest you and her both seek out some counselling. It is clear that both of you have some issues (individually and collectively) that need to be resolved.

Oh, and sorry to have to add this... but it also would appear that you are pregnant. You seem to be missing all of your periods.

Appologise, explain to her why you're pissed off, and buy her a nicer,better phone. Is what might be best to do if you want to smooth over the whole situation and make it go away.

I would have done pretty much the same thing as you mate...With some minor changes.....

1) Sister-in-law throws a party in my house = My boot in her arse on her way out the door.

2) Wife not telling me that some dude has been in my house, drinking out of MY fridge = Me calling one of my womenz up and fucking the frustration out. Then finding him and getting payment for my beer. Monetary or otherwise. Whichever is more convenient at the time.

3) To ensure this does not happen again, certain rules and procedures will be put in place...I pay the fucking bills, I make the fucking rules...Simple as that!

4) A slapped arse doesn't constitute hitting a woman as far as I've heard...It's a bit of a grey area to me...You'd better ask Jack about his opinion.

Bear in mind I'm not married and do not plan to be so my opinions are really just the first things that came to mind. I'm sure in the situation I'd have done something differently and less Hitler-ish.

So is this a joint property? Or do you pay for it all all alone?

I figure if you both work towards the rent and bills she's a right to have some people over. But lying to you about something so little is wrong.

nope, I pay the rent all by my lonesome, hell I even let her use my truck while I'm gone

I'm married too jackass, and probably older than you. You are completely full of shit. You've "never" yelled at her the whole time you've been with her......yet are punching walls and breaking phones because another being with a penis had a few drinks at your house? GIMME A FUCKIN BREAK. You are a control freak, and a scared little bitch. Because all control freaks are scared, and if you didn't have such a tattered self esteem you wouldn't feel so "threatened" by another male.

Oh, and my wife doesn't lie to me....because she doesn't have to. And I don't have to lie to her. So excuse me for having a legitimate and HEALTHY relationship, while you have your disfunctional idiocy. 2 years from now she'll probably divorce your stupid ass, and then you'll be paying alimony and/or child support all because you are a butthurt little boy. Go see a shrink and find out why other men put such fear in your heart......cuz you got fuckin issues dude.

hey guy I'm not here asking to get bitched at and I have honestly never yelled at her granted I've raised my voice, but I always take a breath and start over in a civilized manner, and I apologize for saying you live in your mommy's basement, I've just got so much running through my head and I'm looking for helpful advice so if you're just going to sit there and talk shit then I don't want your help...

fuck that shit, id be pissed if someone threw a party at my house and had people i don't know or TRUST wandering around amongst my stuff. shit goes missing when that happens. but to lie about it after also sucks. check for missing belongings. plus id also be pissed of some jack-off was in My fridge eating my food and drinking my booze, but i wouldn't go crazy and freak out, id just calmly make sure nothing was stolen and tell them to never do it again without permission.










god help them if something was missing though.

dude deal with it maybe she was just trying to get one of her ugly friends laid by getting some random guy drunk....then you go off and turn her good dead into a mortal sin....as long as she didnt fuck him/clean up after her self its no big deal shes prolly a big girl that can handle her own life with or without you


ps if you wernt such an overprotective prick she prolly wouldnt have lied to you...if she aint worth trusting she aint worth dating

hey guy I'm not here asking to get bitched at and I have honestly never yelled at her granted I've raised my voice, but I always take a breath and start over in a civilized manner, and I apologize for saying you live in your mommy's basement, I've just got so much running through my head and I'm looking for helpful advice so if you're just going to sit there and talk shit then I don't want your help...

THIS

(sorry for the double post but i didnt read the rest of the thread )


OHH yeah MERRY CHRISTMASS

Sounds more than a little disrespectful (party and lying to you after) and crappy on her part, I likely would've gotten upset, because I'm a jealous ass, likely not thrown or broken anything, but i'd be damn pissed for a while.

It's not just about jealousy, it's about respect for one's dominance of the house. I mean, I'm assuming the OP is the one who pays for it.

thank you, you seem to be the only person who really gets it, its exactly this, I'm not jealous I have no reason to ever think my wife would cheat on me, its all about respect


and to the person who said to check for missing items only thing that can't be found is my mossy oak hunting beanie...its only 5 bucks though

and to the person who said to check for missing items only thing that can't be found is my mossy oak hunting beanie...its only 5 bucks though

mossy oak hats are VERY WARM! time to go to war!

and i understand your position, your house, the chick just stays there because you let her, and she takes advantage, very shitty thing to do. but then she lies about it which is even fucking worse, id boot her out. its a shitty feeling when something you have is violated.

You could start by using punctuation.I was so going to fucking post that.

I can have you killedMost pwnage e-threat ever.

Most pwnage e-threat ever.

I'm still alive, though.

I'm still alive, though.

For now....

For now....

I'm not worried.

I'm looking for helpful advice so if you're just going to sit there and talk shit then I don't want your help...

Understand you originated a thread on Totse, not some Oprah self-help board where everyone is singing koom-by-ah by the campfire. So if my takes and text are too much for you to handle all because I ain't stroking your ego or validating your stupidity.....then I suggest you use the "ignore" feature.

Until then, I just gotta ask.......WTF kinda marriage do you have? "I even let her use the truck". Huh?????? Why the fuck shouldn't she use the goddamn truck, SHE IS YOUR WIFE!!!!!! You sound like you are talking about a teenage kid of yours, or even a pet. All this talk about being "dominating" and other machismo bullshit. Don't get me wrong, I sincerely believe the male IS the head of the household. But there is a huge grey area between being a pussy whipped feminist loving spineless henpecked chump vs an oppresive asshole.

Seriously, why did you get married? To be lord and master over another person? Exactly what do you think she does all those hours you are away at work? Wouldn't you have more worries/fears when she is actually ALONE, instead of cavorting with a bunch of her gal friends (one of which who just happened to bring a *GASP* male to your house)? What exactly do you do for work anyhow? You gone 5 days straight, then home on weekends or something? How old are you to be this insecure, and how long have you been married? You gotta still be in your 20's and married less than 2 or 3, because no one married longer than that or older should be this crazy over such nonsensical and petty "issues" which has got you in such a tizzy.

Carefull.

Yeah man, she can have you infracted.

What are the referrals? Are they punishments too, like in grade school, or are they friend referrals or something.

VB is still new to me.

[/threadhijack]

If you're portraying the situation correctly, then you're more right than she is, but you both still made some mistakes.

Hers was worse though. Find out why she felt like she had to lie. Maybe she thought you wouldn't approve, which is better than her not wanting you to find out there was another guy involved.

I'm not worried.Yes. But u going die soon lolololololololololololololololololol.

Hey, i was at that party with 2 of my other homeboys...it was wet!

I don't think he is a control freak or insecure if he's telling the truth that he's never yelled at her or gotten mad like that. But he does need to have control.

Depending on how long you've been married, you must know all of her friends...or what you need to do is meet all of her friends. (it will make you feel better n you will have judged which ones are the whores).

I don't know about you, but if she lied to you about it more than once, something serious must have happened (find out and update us). I got pretty mad myself just reading what happened to you. A woman will only cheat on you depending on your level of "game" over her. Because all of them are potential whores, is up to you what you want her to be.