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| Sex and Affection Anything and everything about sex and relations. Please try to keep this forum on-topic, since things tend to wander a bit. Search through old topics before posting a new one, as questions get repeated a lot here. |
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#1
 2007-12-19, 02:52 |
Lobo 
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 I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
This is in regards to another thread I posted about breaking up with my girlfreind. I calmy nd politely told her how I have certain things I want to do with my life , and legally getting married and having children arent appart of it.
She's crushed.
I also dont want to lead her on anymore , since my feelings for her have dwindled. Theres not much I could ask for at all in this thread.
This is just a way of venting the slight feeling of guilt I have.
I hope tommorow it will subside slightly.
Anyone else ever been in a similar situation ?
People who dont want to bare children and procreate ?
I just want to live my life to the fullest , and I cant see myself doing that by raising a kid.
I also wouldnt to further pullute the world with babies If i know I couldnt give it the life it really deserves.
I may sound someone like a honorable guy for the above statement , but I know deep inside Im proably selfish and didnt take account the feelings of my now proably ex-girlfreind.
Im feeling an awkward I cant describe.
Luckly, I have the future to look forward for and smile as I look back at the descion I made today.
Thanks for reading.
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#2
2007-12-19, 02:54 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
Earth!
<3
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#3
2007-12-19, 03:02 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
Lol thread hijack.
DON'T PANIC!
Don't worry OP. She won't bite your dick off next time shes blowing you. NAAAT
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#4
2007-12-19, 03:22 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
I don't want kids either.
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#5
2007-12-19, 03:24 |
TeenMachine
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
Earth!
<3
Moon!
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#6
2007-12-19, 04:04 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
Moon!
Tree!
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#7
2007-12-19, 16:19 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
It was good to tell her what you feel rather than lead her on.
However, dont expect the relationship to last much longer, perhaps.
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#8
2007-12-19, 16:35 |
Lobo
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by yoyobek
It was good to tell her what you feel rather than lead her on.
However, dont expect the relationship to last much longer, perhaps.
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I didnt anticipate it too last , I have other priorties of greater concern then her.
I feel less guilty now.
She'll get over it. |
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#9
2007-12-19, 23:44 |
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Wherever I lay my hat
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
I don't want kids either and I'm planning on having a vasectomy pretty soon, but I'm never going to tell a woman I'm with about it. Most of them want to eventually trap a man into marriage/kids.
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#10
2007-12-19, 23:52 |
nuclearrabbit
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
I'd love to have kids.
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#11
2007-12-19, 23:55 |
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
Never is a a long time.
I know you kids get upset that us oldies snigger at you when you say 'you NEVER want' kids.
But lets come back to this thread in ten years time....
What a lot of you don't understand is that one day you will probably wake and suddenly want kids. No matter how firmly you believe otherwise at the moment. You got millions of years of evolutionary conditioning to fight against. Especially for the girls.
As I've said before, they don't give men under about 30 vascetomies for good reason.
If i ask anyone I know with kids almost every single one of them would say (and many have said) "Actually I never wanted kids ...but.."
I never wanted kids, hell I used to be Pro Choice!
I had been with the girl whom I married only a day or so when we went to a kindergarten on an excursion . We both came away knowing we wanted to make babies with each other.
Which we did.
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#12
2007-12-21, 17:24 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
What does your last sentance mean...You were hanging around an elementary school and it made you and Mrs. Ketch want kids? I think this might be one of those "Atlantic barrier" times or something! Or I might be getting senile in my old age...27 1/2 this month!
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#13
2007-12-21, 17:45 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
Earth!
Moon!
Tree!
Possibly the greatest fail I've ever seen. I did laugh though.
Anyway...I can't really imagine not wanting to have kids...In fact, I see it as the easiest way of raising a loyal army of being to take over the world with.
I'm only 18, and I plan to have kids late 20's...I might be living in Japan by then, so I wont have to go out of my way to teach my kid(s) Japanese, but I will with English...Scouse sounding Japanese kids...Sounds good :D (Jack...Keep your comments to yourself...That's a good boy :p ).
As for living your life to the full, imagine the feeling you get of making a child, raising it, and seeing it grow into something great.
I'll sacrifice a lot for that feeling.
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#14
2007-12-21, 17:49 |
Gackt
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
I'd hate to have kids, I mean you'll be stuck where you are for a long time, and you'll end up moving in a suburb where everyday and every house are the same while your wife becomes a soccer mom with her giant fortress of a SUV, forcing you to go to boring ASS PTA meetings and every single shitty soccer game that your child has.
FUCK that.
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#15
2007-12-21, 20:03 |
genericwittyusername
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
I really don't want kids until i'm doing important shit, like school/starting/maintaining a career. Plus, I don't really wanna be with the girl I'm with now forever.
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#16
2007-12-21, 20:13 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
I didnt want kids when I was young. My toy baby doll sat in it's cot and gathered dust. I didnt want kids when I was a teenager and people said "OH,it's just your age,you'll change as you grow older!" and even now I still dont want kids.
I wouldnt find it a bad thing if a guy I was with didnt want kids, but I'd be upset if he didnt want a future with me and I had been under the disiulusion that he did.
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#17
2007-12-21, 21:15 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
I wouldnt find it a bad thing if a guy I was with didnt want kids, but I'd be upset if he didnt want a future with me and I had been under the disiulusion that he did.
See, I'm totally down for that. You can have a future with someone that involves a lot of illegal shit in Latin American countries, not staying at home with children.
Maybe what I really want is a partner in crime rather than a wife.
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#18
2007-12-21, 21:24 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
It's not so much that they get on your nerves and make you want to shoot yourself. No, it's the fear of failing them. Somehow. Anyhow. Death was always an escape. Now what? I can't leave them, no matter how badly I screw it up they're my kids and I have a duty to raise them.
It's so fucking scary though.
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#19
2007-12-21, 21:40 |
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
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Originally Posted by HandOfZek
It's not so much that they get on your nerves and make you want to shoot yourself. No, it's the fear of failing them. Somehow. Anyhow. Death was always an escape. Now what? I can't leave them, no matter how badly I screw it up they're my kids and I have a duty to raise them.
It's so fucking scary though.
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Truest.Post.EVER! |
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#20
2007-12-22, 21:24 |
madeyes
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
I will have kids if and only if I find the right woman. until then I will be a solitary man..
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#21
2007-12-22, 21:26 |
madeyes
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
(...don't know that I will but until I can find me...)
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#22
2007-12-22, 21:31 |
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
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Originally Posted by madeyes
(...don't know that I will but until I can find me...)
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Just type in your postcode (maps.google.com) |
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#23
2007-12-22, 22:38 |
AntlerBoy
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
Tree!
Heart?
did i do it right?
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#24
2007-12-22, 23:12 |
Orange_Crusader
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
I'm not having kids until I'm completely financially stable, settled down (house, car, etc.) and a good few years into marriage.
That said, my (now ex) gf wanted a baby since... last winter or so, she was 18. She knew she shouldn't, and couldn't support it, but the instinct was there, was weird. The constant news that I wouldn't consider having kids for years ever made her very happy, though, lulz.
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#25
2007-12-22, 23:15 |
Rocko
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
It's not so much having a kid that I'm afraid of, it's watching my wife turn into a mom. Suddenly the kids become everything to her, and she stops giving a shit about me. I just become a money factory for her and the kid.
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#26
2007-12-22, 23:27 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
I'm really looking forward to the day when I'm financially and emotionally stable enough to have a kid 'cause then it would mean i could afford a dog.
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#27
2007-12-23, 04:44 |
KriminalMinded
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
I think it's natural for girls to want babies. I managed to buy a house in Columbus, Oh, for an un-holy amount of money. My girl's best friend purposely became pregnant with her boyfriend of five years.
About six weeks of her being pregnant, he broke it off with her, and announces he has a new girlfriend. I always liked her boyfriend and he was a nice and completely reasonable guy, so one should assume he had his reasons.
So, her friend and my girlfriend ends up living with me now. I'm toying with 5 or 6k a month for bills and other desirables. That doesn't bother me. The obscene fortune I'll probably foot the bill for a baby who isn't mine, this doesn't bother me.
I remember sitting in the front passenger seat of my car, it was perhaps two months ago. My girlfriend, her preggo friend, and my girl's sis went into this pizza parlor to meet up with thier families.
I didn't care to join, mostly because I'm a drunk and would rather continue getting hammered than eating pizza. I sit there and chat with my friend on a cellphone for a minute, until this couple pulls next to my car.
A blonde woman emerges from the driver's seat, blonde and somewhat plump, maybe 23-26. Her boyfriend/fling comes from the front seat and they immediately
start arguing about how high they are and she bitches about him finding her water bottle.
There's a little blonde girl, no older than four in the backseat. She's crying for some reason. Now I have no problem with drugs, hell, I'll burn a joint or eat a painkiller occasionally, but the girl says "fuck, let's just leave her ass" and they make it almost to the restuarant door until this little girl goes insane, screaming her head off.
The worst part is that they think it's funny, both laughing and coming back for her/his kid. I wanted to bash thier fucking heads in. I probably would've if it weren't for the people I was with inside. Point being, if you don't want them, then don't have them.
If I caught them just crusing by myself, I would've beat them to a pulp, told them if they ever did it again I would kill them slowly and violently. Sorry for the rant, I just hate adults who fuck with kids.
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#28
2007-12-23, 12:23 |
stab
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
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Originally Posted by xilikeeggs0
I don't want kids either.
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Is that an advertisement? |
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#29
2007-12-23, 13:23 |
Fonzy
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
Tree!
RAPE.
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#30
2007-12-23, 18:43 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Gackt
I'd hate to have kids, I mean you'll be stuck where you are for a long time, and you'll end up moving in a suburb where everyday and every house are the same while your wife becomes a soccer mom with her giant fortress of a SUV, forcing you to go to boring ASS PTA meetings and every single shitty soccer game that your child has.
FUCK that.
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How selfish of you. |
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#31
2007-12-23, 20:14 |
Solidus
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
How selfish of you.
How is it selfish of him to want to live his life unhindered by something he doesn't want?
And he's right. The soccer games are always shitty. No exceptions.
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#32
2007-12-24, 21:39 |
Gackt
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
How selfish of you.
Selfish it might be, but who isn't? Who wouldn't want to live a shackle free life, exploring new lands, the guy above me is right, no one wants to sit around with annoying kids, while watching soccer games.
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#33
2007-12-24, 22:50 |
Rocko
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
Selfish it might be, but who isn't? Who wouldn't want to live a shackle free life, exploring new lands, the guy above me is right, no one wants to sit around with annoying kids, while watching soccer games.
The solution is: Don't raise your kid to be a soccer fag. Get him into something interesting, like go-kart racing or competition shooting.
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#34
2007-12-25, 00:04 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
The solution is: Don't raise your kid to be a soccer fag. Get him into something interesting, like go-kart racing or competition shooting.
Or better yet, save some money and buy a Ferrari. It costs on average 200k to raise a kid until he leaves your house. For that you can buy a nice Ferrari and live life a lot cooler than if you had a dorky kid and had to help him with homework.
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#35
2007-12-25, 00:12 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
Or better yet, save some money and buy a Ferrari. It costs on average 200k to raise a kid until he leaves your house. For that you can buy a nice Ferrari and live life a lot cooler than if you had a dorky kid and had to help him with homework.
A ferari isn't much of a legacy. If it's still in one piece, it'll be inherited by some jackass cousin who'll auction it off for the best price. Yeah, kids are expensive...but you can raise them to be someone worth giving everything else up for.
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#36
2007-12-25, 03:05 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
A ferari isn't much of a legacy. If it's still in one piece, it'll be inherited by some jackass cousin who'll auction it off for the best price. Yeah, kids are expensive...but you can raise them to be someone worth giving everything else up for.
If my kids are anything like the girls I know, they'll leave me in an instant for the next shiniest object.
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#37
2007-12-25, 14:28 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
If my kids are anything like the girls I know, they'll leave me in an instant for the next shiniest object.
The girls you know probably don't have fathers or have fathers that don't give a shit.
A child is like a blank clone that you can brainwash in any way, shape, or form you see fit. Except it doesn't always look like you, unless you actually marry one of the few faithful ones.
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#38
2007-12-25, 17:00 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
I don't want kids now, and If I have my way I never will. The way I see it they are a financial and time burden, and you look at the childbirth struck woman next to you every night thinking I wouldn't fuck that if you paid me. The summarised argument is I fail to see any way in which they could possibly make your life better. And I fail to see how this is selfish. Since when did it become a duty to pro-create? I've donated sperm before, some woman who desperately wants a child can have my genes. My duty is over.
It's funny though, in the back of my mind it's one of those things you think 'I'll probably have kids some day.' Like when you have a rare serious-drunk mood and you sit and plan your life out, and you think about your job and it's like 'I have to get in a good career, I'll probably have kids some day.'
Today we did the christmas thing, 15 screaming kids running around, the lads outside playing backyard cricket, the wives and girlfriends sitting around drinking vodka and orange. It was so stereotypical, so nuclear family, so 4-bed-2-bath out in the suburbs, everything I have always loathed and said I would never end up doing. But today I found myself thinking when I settle down I would get a house like this one with a pool and I would be the guy who hosted the family christmas party, and we would have christmas pudding and the lads would play backyard cricket and the girls would drink vodka and orange in the kitchen.
I'll include this because even though she reads totse she doesn't know my username, I was sitting with my current girlfriend just sort of fantasising about settling down, making her my wife you know and how we would have kids and somehow be happy. Don't get me wrong I still have plenty of living it up left in me and you can't do that with kids, but I won't deny the mood overtook me today and lol I felt like proposing to her right then (only been going out about 2 months) or at least taking her to a back corner and wooing her, wanting to be with her. In a way that is what makes the life so appealing, you think you are going to spend your life with someone you love forever.
I don't know where this post is going except to say I guess that the wife and kids out in the 'burbs things would have it's attractions.
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#39
2007-12-29, 15:12 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
God damnit bumping this thread so someone will comment on my post.
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#40
2007-12-29, 17:45 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
Anyway...I can't really imagine not wanting to have kids...In fact, I see it as the easiest way of raising a loyal army of being to take over the world with.
This.
As for living your life to the full, imagine the feeling you get of making a child, raising it, and seeing it grow into something great.
I'll sacrifice a lot for that feeling.
And this.
God damnit bumping this thread so someone will comment on my post.
However, NOT this.
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#41
2007-12-29, 19:27 |
surprise buttsecks
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
I'd love a kid or two later on in life.
Unlike most blokes I'm not really up for the whole adventurous life - I just want a nice home, and a nice job. Wife and kids optional.
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#42
2007-12-30, 15:45 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
I fucking hate that about totse. The posts you really put some effort and emotion into always get ignored.
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#43
2008-01-04, 22:11 |
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Garrett
I fucking hate that about totse. The posts you really put some effort and emotion into always get ignored.
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Just like everywhere else? |
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#44
2008-01-04, 22:53 |
pisstest420
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Garrett
I don't want kids now, and If I have my way I never will. The way I see it they are a financial and time burden, and you look at the childbirth struck woman next to you every night thinking I wouldn't fuck that if you paid me. The summarised argument is I fail to see any way in which they could possibly make your life better. And I fail to see how this is selfish. Since when did it become a duty to pro-create? I've donated sperm before, some woman who desperately wants a child can have my genes. My duty is over.
It's funny though, in the back of my mind it's one of those things you think 'I'll probably have kids some day.' Like when you have a rare serious-drunk mood and you sit and plan your life out, and you think about your job and it's like 'I have to get in a good career, I'll probably have kids some day.'
Today we did the christmas thing, 15 screaming kids running around, the lads outside playing backyard cricket, the wives and girlfriends sitting around drinking vodka and orange. It was so stereotypical, so nuclear family, so 4-bed-2-bath out in the suburbs, everything I have always loathed and said I would never end up doing. But today I found myself thinking when I settle down I would get a house like this one with a pool and I would be the guy who hosted the family christmas party, and we would have christmas pudding and the lads would play backyard cricket and the girls would drink vodka and orange in the kitchen.
I'll include this because even though she reads totse she doesn't know my username, I was sitting with my current girlfriend just sort of fantasising about settling down, making her my wife you know and how we would have kids and somehow be happy. Don't get me wrong I still have plenty of living it up left in me and you can't do that with kids, but I won't deny the mood overtook me today and lol I felt like proposing to her right then (only been going out about 2 months) or at least taking her to a back corner and wooing her, wanting to be with her. In a way that is what makes the life so appealing, you think you are going to spend your life with someone you love forever.
I don't know where this post is going except to say I guess that the wife and kids out in the 'burbs things would have it's attractions.
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Most of the time, I totally dont want kids. But then the rare moment sneaks up on me and Im like "Hey, maybe they wont be so bad." Not till later though. And Ive come close to asking for my womans hand in marriage. Only been a few months. I think its something to do with, if we are married, she wont fuck around on me. Then I remember that shit doesnt matter to women. If they want their hole stuffed, they are going to find someone to do it. Thats why we have shows like Cheaters. Id fucking kill her if she did that shit. GRRRR.... |
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#45
2008-01-05, 18:22 |
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Regular
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Britain, Britain, Britain
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Re: I just told my girlfriend I dont want children.
I dont really want to get married or have kids either, its just not my thing and im not down for the commitment.
I have come up with a plan to spread my seed without having to raise a child and make money in the process... Im going to donate sperm, lots and lots of sperm. Chances are at least one of those donated sperms will fertilise an egg at some point.
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