In my 5 years on &T, this is my first topic in S&A.

I think I've gotten myself into the most difficult situation I've ever encountered. I belong to a community that helps non-native English speakers. Native speakers can speak with people trying to learn English for practice.

I've talked with people all over the world, French, Italian, Arabic and Chinese for example. Most recently, I've been talking with a woman from China. I've shirked all my other practitioners just to talk with her. We went from genuinely practicing, to talking about personal things. We've traded many pictures which is generally a no-no in the community. Over the course of a few weeks, I think I'm falling in love with her. I have a girlfriend (of 3 years) and I'm losing interest in her.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I've been feeling more and more apathetic towards my girlfriend because of a woman 13 timezones away. I guess posting this is just a cry for help. I don't know what to expect from this wonderful place, maybe a voice of reason telling me that I'm fucking retarded.

She's so enamored by life in America and a life in America is something I can give her. Any kind of advice or experiences with (ultra?) long distance relationships are welcomed. Keep in mind, I think this woman from China is an amazing person, it's not just that she's in China and I feel sorry for her. We laugh so much when we talk and relate so well even though we grew up so, so differently.

Right now she's working towards completing the GRE, once she does, she can study in America. Here's the thing, it might not be so long distance after all. She has a friend who studies in NY. So if she came here, she'd probably stay in New York with her. NY is not far from me at all. Please help. :(

Wow man, I don't know what to tell you. Thats fucking complicated. What I would suggest is just letting things play out. Keep up what you're doing with the Chinese woman and keep your girlfriend by your side too. My experience with things like this have always just required time. Usually things just kind of work themselves out for me if I let it.

Good luck.

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/80_year_old_Chinese_man_in_panties

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/80_year_old_Chinese_man_in_panties

Woah I haven't seen The Shady Dealer around in so long. Probably since I'm not in BLTC much anymore.

It's fair enough that you're growing bored of your current girlfriend, but to be a decent person you kind of need to tell her.
And if you're disatisfied with her outright saying so will be good for both of you, and it will leave you free to pursue this Chinese lady if you feel like doing so.

good luck

This is kind of how I was thinking too. Let time work itself out. It's not like we talk about getting married and whatever. It is something I thought about, though. That makes me question a lot of things about my current relationship. It's not like I go out seeking other women or something. I'm extremely loyal in that respect. This just sort of happened and it's really confusing me. Thanks for your input.

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/80_year_old_Chinese_man_in_panties
I wish she was "a 90 year old Chinese guy in panties". Then, I could just blow this off and forget about it. She's very real. We have never done anything mentioned in that article. No nudes or cyber or whatever. Just genuinely connected on many levels. The pictures just look like something parents would take of their daughter. I have no reason to be suspicious.

It's fair enough that you're growing bored of your current girlfriend, but to be a decent person you kind of need to tell her.
And if you're disatisfied with her outright saying so will be good for both of you, and it will leave you free to pursue this Chinese lady if you feel like doing so.

good luck

The thing is, I'm only feeling apathetic because of the girl from China. Had I never met this Chinese girl, I wouldn't even think twice about leaving her. I don't want to tell her today "Oh, babe, I'm over you, I'm going to date a Chinese girl that lives half-way around the world." If there's one thing life has taught me, it is that many things never come to fruition. I don't want to jump the gun, yanno. On the same note, I'm not really the kind of guy to do things behind someone's back. I'm not "dating" this Chinese girl, I'm just becoming more and more admiring of her. I'm not even sure she knows how I feel. I'm just going to give it time.

Anyone else's input/comments is/are welcomed. Thanks to everyone so far. This isn't really something I can discuss with anyone else in my social circle, as me and my girlfriend have many mutual friends. It's a tough spot.

Thanks.

Its those foreign girls you have to watch out for, currently one as my near full attention now. Its like playing a new version of the old game(with usual american chicks). Almost like a new experience so to speak, as im not use to being up close and personal with a girl thats anything but the usual tan/white or even black.

I'd just ride it out and see what happens, dont ditch either girl. Keep talking to the chinese female, techincally your not hurting anything and you cant with her being still in the FAR EAST.

Its those foreign girls you have to watch out for, currently one as my near full attention now. Its like playing a new version of the old game(with usual american chicks). Almost like a new experience so to speak, as im not use to being up close and personal with a girl thats anything but the usual tan/white or even black.
Yeah, what's with that? I find her so fascinating. It's a fantastic feeling. It's not something I've ever felt about an American girl. I just wish she was already here, things would be so much easier for me.

I'd just ride it out and see what happens, dont ditch either girl. Keep talking to the chinese female, techincally your not hurting anything and you cant with her being still in the FAR EAST.

Biding my time is all I can do. I will keep talking to her. I just feel uncomfortable knowing my eventual intentions, if the circumstances ever turn out the way I'd like. The girl I'm with now was supposed to be the last one. I feel childish, but you only live once.

Yeah, what's with that? I find her so fascinating. It's a fantastic feeling. It's not something I've ever felt about an American girl. I just wish she was already here, things would be so much easier for me.


Its just something new, plus this girl puts forth alot of unexpected stuff which i find impressive, for her.

My explanation is its like the usual game but just in a different stadium, same game...new stadium...fresh/new feel to it.

You need to break up with your girlfriend.

No matter what you intend to happen with this Chinese girl, if you were happy in your relationship you would not be so enamored with this foreign chick. If you're losing interest in your girlfriend you need to break it off and stop wasting her time and yours.

At this point you are being unfaithful to your girlfriend emotionally. Don't let it get any worse by keeping her around to watch your feelings for her diminish.

Sweet talking you into a green card.

Yep.

Yep you've gotta watch out for this. She's probably not the slightest bit interested in you. I mean, she's learning english for god's sake. Why do you think she's learning english?

Oh btw what's the name of this community?

12345

Why do you think she's learning english?

To study in the U.S., did you read my first post? For her to study abroad, in the U.S. specifically, she has to take a GRE and pass it, it scales to a 20k word vocabulary. I probably couldn't even pass it. I'd only meet her if she came to the U.S. on a student visa.

I'm not an expert on immigration or naturalization, but I think she'd have to be here for a few years to get a green card. Three I think if espoused or engaged.

Anyways, you guys make it out like she's playing "i suk u dik, me ruv u, me come 2 amerlika." Truth is, she's very intelligent, she's working really hard to get here. We discuss so many things: politics, culture, social quirks ect. I would help her come to America if she wanted nothing to do with me when she got here. She's just an amazing person that I wouldn't hesitate to help.

To study in the U.S., did you read my first post? For her to study abroad, in the U.S. specifically, she has to take a GRE and pass it, it scales to a 20k word vocabulary. I probably couldn't even pass it. I'd only meet her if she came to the U.S. on a student visa.

I'm not an expert on immigration or naturalization, but I think she'd have to be here for a few years to get a green card. Three I think if espoused or engaged.

Anyways, you guys make it out like she's playing "i suk u dik, me ruv u, me come 2 amerlika." Truth is, she's very intelligent, she's working really hard to get here. We discuss so many things: politics, culture, social quirks ect. I would help her come to America if she wanted nothing to do with me when she got here. She's just an amazing person that I wouldn't hesitate to help.

No I'm pretty sure if you marry her she can come without further reason. However you can't divorce her for some amount of years, without her being deported I believe. The government places no limits on love.