Advice other than "Don't hire a prostitute", that is. Normally I have no problem being alone, but lately I've been getting unusually horny and it's starting to get irritating. (Maybe it's the weather?)

I'm incredibly anti-social so I have no desire to go out and play some stupid game with a girl in order to have a one night stand, even though it's worked in the past. I know I sound like a douchebag right now, but I'm just tired of every damn thing and want to get laid.

Thing is, I've never hired a prostitute before and don't know what to expect (other than herpes lololololol.) I'm sure somebody round these parts has had some words of wisdom they can pass down to me though. Thanks in advance.

1) Use a condom
2) Don't carry a lot of cash
3) Have fun???

1) Use a condom
2) Don't carry a lot of cash
3) ?????????
4) [she] PROFIT[S]!!!!


Fix'd.

I was hoping for more of a "This is how it went for me..." type of thing, but thanks. I've heard "horror" stories from others about how the hooker basically ripped off whatever was left in their wallets, and condoms are a must anyhow, so I think I'll be fine in that regard.

I was hoping for more of a "This is how it went for me..." type of thing, but thanks. I've heard "horror" stories from others about how the hooker basically ripped off whatever was left in their wallets, and condoms are a must anyhow, so I think I'll be fine in that regard.

Well, being a female, I've never been in that situation. You'll get more responses tomorrow, though. Most people are asleep right now.

Well, being a female, I've never been in that situation. You'll get more responses tomorrow, though. Most people are asleep right now.

Don't tell me you don't hire man whores?

Don't tell me you don't hire man whores?

You'd only say yes to sex if she decided to pay you? Women don't need to pay for sex.

You'd only say yes to sex if she decided to pay you? Women don't need to pay for sex.

this.

Make sure she has a sweet ass name, like Candy or Vanilla.








...or Bill.

Who the hell asks for a hooker's name?

Go watch Pretty Woman.
*sarcasm*

Here are some words of wisdom you shall thank me for.

Look for an adams apple.

Don't tell me you don't hire man whores?

Can't say that I have.

Go to a brothel. They are generally cleaner, safer, and less likely to rip you off. You'll be asked to choose the girl of your choice, and, she is allowed to turn you down, don't argue if this happens, just thank her anyway, and make another choice. After you've been introduced to your lucky lady, the two of you will be sent off to shower together, this is generally mandatory, and aside from getting you in the mood, the girl will check your body for any thing that looks like it could be a problem.
Don't:
Kiss
Ask for extra time
Get violent.

Do:
Walk out of there feeling like a rock star because those girls are pro and know every noise they need to make.

You sound like you know your shit.

Wait... no kissing? Do you mean making out? If so that's stoopid. Sex isn't the same without making out.

Wait... no kissing? Do you mean making out? If so that's stoopid. Sex isn't the same without making out.

It's to stop stds. Most brothels make a blanket ban on it, but, some private escorts may allow it.

Sex is better without making out.

fixed

Are you in Nevada? I don't remember brothels being legal anywhere outside of there...

I live in Ontario, Canada and while I'm aware that that laws regarding prostitution here are more lax than they are in most areas in the United States (save Nevada, of course) I don't know if brothels are legal or where to find them.

If that's the preferred method, I'd like to find a brothel. Any ideas on where and how to look?

Classified ads/yellow pages. I'm not even joking:o

To a point. Massage parlours/escort services. You'd want the former. Some are legit, though, watch for lulz.

If that's the preferred method, I'd like to find a brothel. Any ideas on where and how to look?


Google. Also, the newspaper classifieds.

Are you in Nevada? I don't remember brothels being legal anywhere outside of there...

Western Australia, we have rather interesting laws, they can operate, but, not openly.

Craigslist.

Word, scouring Craigslist for my area right now, I'll check the classifieds on the morrow.

Thanks everyone for the replies and information, please continue, there's still more I'm sure I don't know.

Don't forget to club her arse when you're done so you can get your money back.

Are you in Nevada? I don't remember brothels being legal anywhere outside of there...

Prostitution's legal in Australia, but 'strictly' regulated by something similar to the OH&S and in some states you have to get a permit - anyone that knows of Kalgoorlie will tell you the most heavily worked holes in Australia reside there, while not even talking about the monster open pit gold mine. ;)

Indermaur mate, you've been going to Brothels now too? I don't mean to insinuate that I do, I've never hired myself a hooker nor used a Brothel or Massage parlour for their intended purposes.

I know too many people like 'Indermaur'.

I know too many people like 'Indermaur'.

You said you wouldn't tell!

In regard to brothels, my family owns a building that's next door to one. I've never been inside, but I was talking to a smoker friend out the back of our building. Apparently it was a shift change. 5 hookers came out the back and came over to ask for a light... I would not pay to sleep with any of them. Two were over 40, two weren't attractive at all and the other had some serious track marks. To be fair, it was their tuesday graveyard squad... Probably not their A listers.

I can't imagine anyone wants to make out with a hooker anyway..

If you are near a bigger city, look for those free culture magazines laying around pizza shops and shit. The ones advertising all the trendy groups and hotspots. In the back will be a litany of in/out callgirl service. You pay easily $100+/hr, but its probably the safest thing goin around. If you are just lookin for a quick blowjob or something, cruise the streets near bars, adult book stores, peep shows. And don't think NYC stereotypical hooker, most of them are dressed normal or just a bit skimpier. Look for the gals just meandering around with no purpose or intent to where they are going......trying to make eye contact or drive by once more. If they aren't scared off like most women would be ogling them or seeking them out, a casual "hey sweetie, what ya up to" is all it takes as an ice-breaker.

I can honestly say I succesfully scored a hooker, once in my life. Or maybe not so succesfully. It was my 21st birthday, just leaving my first ever strip club....my buddy driving, both of us drunk and stoned off our asses. We found this chocolate little cutie downtown wandering around like I described above, and took her back to my friends house....$20 each = $40 dollars which my buddy paid for. Only problem was he still lived with his family, so we entered the basement through the storm door entrance....the kind in the ground that you swing open walking down steps into the basement.

Since I was the birthday boy, I went first while my buddy was taking his dog out and making sure everything was cool upstairs. She gave me a pretty decent blowjob considering I had a condom on that lasted for a few minutes... and then started riding me for what I was worth on my buddies couch, while I was suckin on a nice perky pair of titties. By this time my buddy came downstairs from the kitchen stairwell, and was naked saying....."Cmon Guru, let me take a ride". She gets off of me and starts sucking him, I pull my pants back up which had only gone down to my ankles and I make my way outside for a smoke.

I'm outside about a minute wondering how I'm gonna let her finish me off, and then his mangy little dog starts yipping. One of those tiny hairy annoying dogs, yipping madly from the top of the kitchen stairs. Next thing I hear also at the top of the kitchen stairs is my buddies mom asking loudly....."Bill? Bill? what's going on down there?". She was an old school greek lady with a very thick accent, and always hearing her talk was humorous enough.......but between those questions in that dialect, the mangy mongrel barking, and knowing my buddy is banging some streetcorner whore....and I'm just dying from laughter outside. This slapstick hilarity is far better than any orgasm I could have achieved with her, or anyone else.

Next thing I know she scurries up the stairs to me saying his mom was coming down, and we should take off. This poor girl, running around with these silly white boys in suburbia getting chased off by a mom. My buddy came out a few minutes later, and on the way back dropping the girl off she asks for a tip. She's like....."cmon, all the shit I had to deal with....the dog, the mom, gimme something extra". I think I might have dropped her another $10, respecting the insanity of it all. So we drop her off and 1/2 way back home to my house I finally realize the condom is still on my cock. Well somewhat, after all of that walking and soft time......my head was still in it. I look over at my buddy and say...."look what I forgot" and rip the condom out of my pants , dangling it before his eyes. I chucked it out the window and he almost crashed us into a tree from all the laughter with an almost perfect ending to an epic and fun night.

If you're in toronto walk on over to Church and Carlton. My first day of university I was getting a beer at a pub over there, and I'm leaving, it's about 2am, and I notice girls dressed in panties and a bras. I ask my friend "are they really hookers" and he said "yeah man, you want?"

Great way to kick off university.

PS. No, I did not have sex with them. They look like stereotypical black crackheaded prostitutes.

In North America, the best way to get a prostitute is a call girl. Street walkers are cheap (and dirty) but that's what police sting operations target so steer clear of them. Call girls put their numbers on places like craigslist. Make sure the area code is your local area code. Take some time and make sure the girl is legit and not police (they dont usually bother with callgirls but they have on occasion). They will either be incall or outcall. The first means they have a place of business like an apartment or hotel and you will go there and have sex with them. Outcall means they will come to you. Usually for between $100-400 (at least in this area) you'll get perhaps a half hour to an hour of time.

So your order of action is as follows:

1. Search your local craiglist erotic section for call girls
2. Find one you think is legitimate, some even list their prices in their ad
3. Contact them and preferably do an incall so you don't have to set up a location
4. Go to the location carrying no money beyond the amount agreed upon and no wallet with cards or other valuables that could be stolen
5. Put on a condom and have sex with a prostitute.

3 words 1 link

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moonlite_Bunny_Ranch

Check to make sure she isnt a he!! Or vice versa.

And to help you out, here is DesertRebel's comprehensive guide on the subject. (http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2083162"")

(Secret life)

I lol'd at your penetrating knowledge on this topic.

You do make a good point. But by the same token I can't imagine how anyone would want to have sex with one, but plenty of people do.

Never partaken from any pro ladies, mostly because I'm broke. Aside from the fact that they are almost all on drugs, I never understood why people look down on fucking a prostitute. Tons of people I know say shit like 'I would never pay for sex.' Seems stupid to me.

Anyway, I would go to a brothel, I have been inside one before whilst picking up drunken friends, they seem nice enough. Some of the girls are straight up ugly, some of them are pretty good.

The only real contribution I can make is that if you can't find one, get in a cab and ask him to take you to a brothel. Simple, and I guarantee you it wouldn't be the first time someone had asked him. Otherwise, your local bartender or even better strip club employee will surely be able to help you out.