Having graduated high school one year early and going to community college, moving out wasn't one of my best priorities.

I live at home with both my parents and my brother. It's a typical American family.

My dad was always very conservative. He didn't like my mom buying new cloths, especially if they revealed much. I couldn't give much shit. I never had incestuous thoughts of my mother, but I knew she was in the "above average" tier in the pretty chart.

One time, I remember her buying a blouse, then getting yelled at by my dad and she returned it, because it was too tight.

However, my dad was loosening up. My mom started pretty-fying herself, and I've even found the free sample of Enzyte in mail.. which I did not want to think about in any way.

Anyway, that was couple years ago. Sometime since October, my shaver smelled like shit. I didn't know why it did, but as a typical guy - I could care less how it smelled, as long as all I had to do was to endure till I was done shaving.

That went on till this month, when I came home from class to find my mother cleaning the shaving machine handle. I asked her why, and she blushed, murmuring some random shit.

I'm going to buy my mother a vibrator, because I suspect she's using my shaver up her pussy, and my dad isn't allowing her any toys.

Oh god.. how do I come up with these ideas..

Wow, that would take some courage..
And aren't you incredibly disturbed she's used your stuff to get jiggy with? You put that to your face, man..
:o

If you want to be less obvious about it, get her one of these:
http://www.comparestoreprices.co.uk/images/br/braun-advancepower-950.jpg

Good idea..

Much more discrete too.. I was wondering what my fate would be if I gave it to my mom in front of my dad..

Thanks babe.

Good idea..

Much more discrete too.. I was wondering what my fate would be if I gave it to my mom in front of my dad..

Thanks babe.

Yes, and a lot less disgusting than her using your shaver.

Or simply change the shower head for one with 'pulsating massage action'.

Maybe her cunny wouldn't smell so strange then either.

I want some video of your mom fucking a Norelco.

Ask your mom if she wants to have sex with "I-RapeTards from Totse" please.

pics or it didn't happen....

Closer kin, deeper in.

This is the funniest thing I have read in months.

This is pretty sick actually.

I would kill my mother if she ever masturbated with my stuff.

LulzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz zzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ ZZ

This is a strange thead indeed.

http://www.love-shop.biz/uimg/vibrators/mini/vibrator-mini-2.jpg


http://www.mypleasure.com/store/assets/product_images/0813.jpg


http://www.mypleasure.com/store/assets/product_images/0609.jpg


And maybe buy yourself a new shaver for Christmas.

Forget that, Pumpkins lover. Love is all about sharing.

oh boy.

only on totse.

only on totse.

edit: maybe the deciding factor was that it was your shaver. did you ever consider that?

Shit.

I'm outta this thread.

howsabout you give her your old shaver and buy a new non-vajayjay'd one for yourself.

Colgate Motion + Memorex AAA 1000 mAh rechargeables + multi-function shower head = happy mom.

+camera =happy totse too.

I will not post pictures of my mother.

I'm going to buy her an electric toothbrush.. yeah.

LOL

*imagines scene in Navicalist's house on Xmas morning*

Navicalist: "Happy Xmas Mom"

*hands her electric toothbrush*

His Mommy: "ARE YOU SAYING I HAVE BAD BREATH??!"

*biff* *bash* *kapoWWW!* *whammy*!


You have much to learn about women, young Padawan.

If I got my mother a vibrator for Christmas, she'd be talking about it for years. It would need a witty card to go with it.

It would be remembered as the most note-worthy present ever. Hell, she'd probably put it up on the fridge to talk about when people came over.

I was told that the last entertaining sex-based gift that she got sat on the kitchen table for a couple of months.

I was told that the last entertaining sex-based gift that she got sat on the kitchen table for a couple of months.

Until its diaper needed changing?

LOL

*imagines scene in Navicalist's house on Xmas morning*

Navicalist: "Happy Xmas Mom"

*hands her electric toothbrush*

His Mommy: "ARE YOU SAYING I HAVE BAD BREATH??!"

*biff* *bash* *kapoWWW!* *whammy*!


You have much to learn about women, young Padawan.
Yeh, if going for the toothbrush just say it's for yourself, then pretend you "didn't really think it was all that great" or somesuch BS. As I said, get a Colgate Motion (the one with the dual heads; it's the best of the cheap electrics) and rechargeables.
And do get the multi-function shower head as well. Install it yourself and use some sort of 'more water power = less time wasted' explanation. The best one would be that which has separate controls for nozzle settings (single large, three/four med and many small) and pulse.

Until its diaper needed changing?

I told a friend of the family that flavoured body paints can be tasty.

It inspired a gift giving mood.

[rest of fake story deleted]

Anyway, that was couple years ago. Sometime since October, my shaver smelled like shit.



Your missing a big clue in this case. Your shaver smelled like - shit - . Meaning your mom wants anal. You should get her a buttplug. You can get one of those ones with feathers on it so she can tell dad its for dusting.

Go for it - and when you're at it get one of those solid gold ones. Spoil her ;).

just buy a new shaver and leave your old one lying around.