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| My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged. |
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# 1
2007-09-08, 19:59
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Regular
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Fremont, California [U.S.A]
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Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
He is here, as He has been since the beginning of time.
He is benevolent, rewarding the Good and disappointing the Evil in the world. His tools of Purity and Wellwishing are the Gifts he carries; the Punishment and Reprimand he doles out are in Coal.
Many doubt his presence, but yet they are rewarded, for He requires not that the Good acknowlege his presence.
The Blasmephers of Evil denouce Him and portray Him as merely a figment of a man's imagination, but we, the enlightened, bask in His omnipresent existance, as it inspires us to a greater good. They say it is impossible for one man to deliver gifts to billions of people; how fooler they are, for He is powerful, and works in mysterious ways that are not of our concern.
Bewarned, Blasmephers, for He is making His list of the Naughty and the Nice, checking it twice, and before you know it, he will be coming to town. Seek redemption at His hands and be saved - it is not too late, for He is one of benevolent soul.
Santa Claus: hear His name, and accept Him as your saviour.
~Xorm
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# 2
2007-09-08, 20:11
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Regular
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New Orleans
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
Puh-rayz da lawd! Fo' he has given us 'owa puh-ros-paritah!
In San-tahz name!
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# 3
2007-09-08, 21:01
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bleeding_Fetus
Puh-rayz da lawd! Fo' he has given us 'owa puh-ros-paritah!
In San-tahz name!
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AMEN Bruh-tha!
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# 4
2007-09-08, 22:24
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
HALLELUJAH!
Scream Santa's name and feel his power!
But the youth today don't see Santa as "cool" for some reason.
They want rock and roll by the blasphemers.
So we must convert the world with:
Santan Rock.
Then they can understand that Santa IS cool.
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# 5
2007-09-09, 11:19
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Regular
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near the core, where it's warm
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
Santa claus (or; Saint nicholas of myra, i believe) died - we even have his 'relics'.
So, Santa claus indefinately does not exist - the tales told to our children are ignorant lies!
Rise up little kids! Rise up!
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# 6
2007-09-09, 11:22
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thunderhammer
Santa claus (or; Saint nicholas of myra, i believe) died - we even have his 'relics'.
So, Santa claus indefinately does not exist - the tales told to our children are ignorant lies!
Rise up little kids! Rise up!
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BLASPHEMER!
But it's okay. You just won't get any presents now.
That's what you get for being naughty.
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# 7
2007-09-09, 12:08
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Regular
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near the core, where it's warm
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lord. Better Than You
BLASPHEMER!
But it's okay. You just won't get any presents now.
That's what you get for being naughty.
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Actually, you're the one blaspheming - You're refuting the existence of st nicholas's relics.
Heretic.
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# 8
2007-09-09, 20:37
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thunderhammer
Santa claus (or; Saint nicholas of myra, i believe) died - we even have his 'relics'.
So, Santa claus indefinately does not exist - the tales told to our children are ignorant lies!
Rise up little kids! Rise up!
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Jesus Christ (or; THE SUN!!!, I believe) died - we even have his 'relics'.
So, Jesus Christ indefinately does not exist - the tales told to our children are ignorant lies!
Rise up little kids! Rise up!
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# 9
2007-09-09, 22:54
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Regular
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Wide womb of uncreated night.
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
In his knoweledge of your sleep
or your waking.
His understanding of your badness
or your goodness.
Be good or you'll burn.
Ho ho ho, amen.
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# 10
2007-09-11, 07:47
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thunderhammer
Santa claus (or; Saint nicholas of myra, i believe) died - we even have his 'relics'.
So, Santa claus indefinately does not exist - the tales told to our children are ignorant lies!
Rise up little kids! Rise up!
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So he is the one and only GODS!
Minions Attack!
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#11
2007-09-11, 17:15 |
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
http://img108.imageshack.us/img108/8536/1189528605988ca1.jpg
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#12
2007-09-11, 18:03 |
Lord. Better Than You 
Regular
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
http://img108.imageshack.us/img108/8536/1189528605988ca1.jpg
Exactly. That's why we should all follow the great Santa instead.
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#13
2007-09-11, 18:15 |
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Moderator
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
I'm leaving this for the Lolz. (the 'cosmic jewish zombie' had me spraying coffee over the monitor!)
But remember that tolerance is stressed in our Forum description.
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#14
2007-09-12, 21:34 |
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Moderator
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Wasilla, Alaska
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
It might be germane to point out that Santa--as he is generally pictured today--first appeared in an ad for Coca-Cola.
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#15
2007-09-12, 21:53 |
Ratbert
Regular
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
Thus making him all the more powerful; because he has the backing of one of the biggest soda corporations in the world
Minions Attack!
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#16
2007-09-13, 02:59 |
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
Quote:
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Originally Posted by ArmsMerchant
It might be germane to point out that Santa--as he is generally pictured today--first appeared in an ad for Coca-Cola.
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Actually, Thomas Nast (http://www.sonofthesouth.net/Thomas_Nast_Santa_Claus.htm)illustrated images of the jolly old man back in 1863 in Harper's Weekly.
http://www.sonofthesouth.net/Thomas_Nast/Thomas_Nast_Santa_Claus.jpg
Even earlier, a not-so-jolly-looking St. Nick depicted in a painting, circa 1810:
http://www.stnicholascenter.org/stnic/images/1810-lg.jpg
Detail from First Celebration of the Festival of St. Nicholas by The New-York Historical Society, Broadside by Alexander Anderson, December 6, 1810, commissioned by John Pintard, SY 1864-21, negative number 28883 (http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=35) |
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#17
2007-09-13, 11:41 |
socratic
Regular
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
Forget not, dear children of Santa, his greatest Angel came down to us and gave us his legacy, showing us the reality of our faith with righteous beatings!
For he punished the blasphemers, the naughty and those who were not nice!
Santa, in his might and power, gave him a great stick!
Remember, the actions of Knecht Ruprecht in the name of the great Santa, and remember his love for us, that he should send his servant to bring us back into the light.
Ho ho ho, Amen.
Now, may we break the biscuits and spread the milk, for these are his body and blood...
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#18
2007-09-13, 16:08 |
Kooper0
Regular
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
Quote:
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Originally Posted by ArmsMerchant
It might be germane to point out that Santa--as he is generally pictured today--first appeared in an ad for Coca-Cola.
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Nope, http://snopes.com/cokelore/santa.asp |
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#19
2007-09-13, 19:35 |
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Moderator
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Wasilla, Alaska
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
^Thank you for clearing that up. I learned something new today thanks to you.
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#20
2007-09-13, 21:39 |
Ratbert
Regular
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
Quote:
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Originally Posted by socratic
Forget not, dear children of Santa, his greatest Angel came down to us and gave us his legacy, showing us the reality of our faith with righteous beatings!
For he punished the blasphemers, the naughty and those who were not nice!
Santa, in his might and power, gave him a great stick!
Remember, the actions of Knecht Ruprecht in the name of the great Santa, and remember his love for us, that he should send his servant to bring us back into the light.
Ho ho ho, Amen.
Now, may we break the biscuits and spread the milk, for these are his body and blood...
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So was his "angel" sent down, was it his elves?
Minions Attack! |
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#21
2007-09-13, 21:53 |
socratic
Regular
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
So was his "angel" sent down, was it his elves?
Minions Attack!
He sent Knecht Ruprecht, whom carried a great sack of delicious treats, rewarding the Good, and a stick, for punishing the naughty.
Truly, Santa has shown us the Way.
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#22
2007-09-13, 22:37 |
Ratbert
Regular
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
He sent Knecht Ruprecht, whom carried a great sack of delicious treats, rewarding the Good, and a stick, for punishing the naughty.
Truly, Santa has shown us the Way.
How exactly did he punish the bad with his "stick"?
Minions Attack!
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#23
2007-09-17, 01:10 |
your enemy
Regular
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
Coal is the future of energy independence.
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#24
2007-09-17, 23:12 |
shitty wok
Regular
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Re: Santa Claus: Have you accepted Him as your saviour?
Firetrucks are yellow
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