well, i know i'm not the only guy to ever go through this bull shit.. let's hear some opinions.

Before i start.. we are both 17, seniors in hs, and we have been togheter a year and a half. we were each other's firsts for everything, nad have done everything up to sex.

I love my girlfriend.. but she is losing me. She doesn't want to have sex, and it's been really really REALLY REALLY really REALLY making me want to break up with her. I don't want to break up with her - I love being with her. But not only does she not want to have sex.. she makes negative comments about it that just demonstrate and annunicate how there is absolutely NO sex in my future any time soon.

Yes we've talked about it.. yes, spare me the 'if you love her you'll wait' bull shit. I love her, but I can't deal with this. I dont want to break up with her, but she's losing me. Every day that goes by without her wanting to have sex with me.. and every time she makes some silly ass comment about how the idea of sex appauls her.. just makes me lose interest in her. I love everything else about her, but this is honestly just killing me.

I dont konw if I have the heart to tell her this. How do you tell someone that their lack of sexual itnerest in you is going to force you to break up with them? Doesn't that seem shallow? IS that shallow? Am I being an ass hole?

Should I talk to her? Keep trucking on?

What the fuck do I do

well the first person i slept with wasn't a virgin, and we had sex a week after we started dating. She was 19, i talked to her about it and she said she was scared about losing her virginity at first, she lost it to a previous bf like a year before, but after she did she became ALOT more sexually active, having sex with him all the time, and me too for that matter. I'd say try to make her realize that losing your virginity is no big deal and that having you be her first would be REALLY good considering your close relationship. Press the issue and if she STILL refuses to even consider it i'd say take some time apart to think things over

I've heard pressing the issue will just make her want to do it less and less.. and the bigger deal you make of it, the less inclined she'll be to do it.

I know what to do. Be like "Huh is that a bluejay over there??"
And when she turns her head, just have sex with her. You will only last like 20 seconds anyways. lol.

I've heard pressing the issue will just make her want to do it less and less.. and the bigger deal you make of it, the less inclined she'll be to do it.

but if he doesn't press the issue she wont know anything's wrong and how strongly he feels about this, which will get him nowhere

Suck it up. You're coming off like you're a fucking sex addict. She doesn't want to have sex right now, and that's that. You obviously haven't, nor will you, convince her. It's your own fault that she makes those negative comments, you're the one pushing her. I'm not in favor of abstinence by any means, but I am supportive of peoples right to do what they want without people interfering with them. If she doesn't want to have sex, that's her decision. Have you looked at it from her side? Maybe she wants to break up with you when you push her to do something she obviously doesn't want to fucking do.


Edit: Just break up with her. If you have these feelings over something as insignificant as this, you're not going to have any kind of future with her.

its not worth the waiting and its not worth the trouble, man. you are young and should be out enjoying yourself. it sucks, but youre gonna have to break up with her.

i wasted a lot of time with virgins, because i "love" them thinking i would get some, and with them there was actually a chance i would. with your girl, there is NO chance. if i could go back, i wouldnt waste a second on those girls. i guess saying "waste" is a little strong. we had good times, but i would have rather spent that time having fun with my hormones, rather than torturing them, just because i was a 17 year old in love.

break it off and go have some fun.

quoted for MOTHER FUCKING TRUTH!!!!!!!

I think i'm going to cut everythign else off altogether.. no more oral sex or fingering or making out.. maybe some kissing here and there.. but her lack of sexual interest in me is just a huge turn-off at this point.. and it makes me not want her at all..

Also, i understand that whole perspective (break it off and have some fun) but i've considered it.. and i seriously love EVERYTHING else about her. She is my perfect girl, absolutely perfect.. with this 1 exception. I really don't want it to come down to that.

Serious reply now. Don't wait forever man. How is your sex life? Like what base you getting to on a regular basis? If you don't even make out then your not really even dating. Try squeezing her tits, and maybe trying to finger her. After a while move on to oral and things should progress from there.

If it isn't working break it off. I know thats mean, but 17 year olds like sex, and you have been going out for a long ass time. I say wait a little longer and if she doesn't start showing interest move on. If sex is that important to you then go after someone else.

We do everything else on a regular basis.. blowjobs a couple times a week, fingering and shit as often.

We do everything else on a regular basis.. blowjobs a couple times a week, fingering and shit as often.

Well its not that bad then. At least your getting some action. Try eating her out, maybe buy a vibrator. If you get her orgasming she might want you more. And I mean get her really horny.

Well its not that bad then. At least your getting some action. Try eating her out, maybe buy a vibrator. If you get her orgasming she might want you more. And I mean get her really horny.

I can't get her to orgasm. Maybe i do need to do some more work on her and make her realize what kind of pleasure she could ptentially be missiong out on

So you "love" her. But you're considering breaking up with her because she won't put out....

Everyone is in love at 17.

they've been dating for over a year. Ask any guy in a serious relationship in college or in the working world if he'd still have gone out with her knowing they couldn't have sex and they'd all say no.

i dont think its shallow or anything at all
if i had a girl like that, i'd want to break up with her too

I think cutting her off is a good idea.
Make it on your terms, not hers.
Tell her that simply making out and shit wont work for you, just like sex wont work for you.
(Next Week, My BF doesnt make out with me, break up?"

But also, like someone else said, dont make sex a big deal, make her feel comfortable.

It might help if you could tell us exactly what she has against intercourse, as she seems happy to do everything else. Why does the act of vaginal penetration disgust her and a bj doesn't??!

? Like what base you getting to on a regular basis? If you don't even make out then your not really even dating. T

You don't post here much do you?....

Brutally rape her, that will get her virgin pussy up to scratch.

Maybe she's slowly realizing she might be lez? That happens sometimes, y'know.

A year and a half? Wow..

If sex is important to you, talk to her about it. If I were you, I probably would break up with her because of it. It sounds like you would have major problems with it in the future. And you really really don't want that..
I hope everything turns out well..

That sounds like its worth a try.

If you truly lover her as you say you do then it shouldn't matter. Right?

Thats bullcrap
That whole sentance is an invention of human conditioning.
It has no basis in nature.
Youre designed to fuck basically, so fuck.

Jerk off onto her face until she gives in.

Hey mate. I'm in your situation but mine is FAR worse. Seemingly perfect girl, beautiful, smart, very open but when it comes to things regarding sex, shes just not there. Be thankful you're at least getting SOMETHING. My lady won't even hold my fucking hand. If I grab hers she just goes limp dead fish on me and it pisses me off to high hell but i'm also 'in love' so i'm wasting my fucking time. If you have the strength, break it off. That feeling you're getting from her, WILL get worse, and in my case its maddening because I'm show little to no affection while being told verbally, otherwise.

I'll probably end up murdering her or murder/suicide. (half joke)

Sit down, watch 40 year old virgin with her, tell her to stop putting the pussy on the pedastal. Seriously though I think everyone thought the same thing about sex at one point because they were nervous or scared just calm her down about everything and from people with experience tell her that its NOT ALL ITS CRACKED UP TO BE! You think, when either are virgins that its like "AWWWW" bliss and shit, its nice, its fun but holy shit is it overrated when your a virgin. Yes its going to end soon you will bust fast first couple times, and it might be......scrap that will be painful for her but the more you do it the better it will get. Worst thing that can happen is she caves in and plays dead while you fuck her and crys the first time. Dont let that shit happen!

Rape the bitch.

haha dude pwnt! but if you really love her, respect her decision.

Suck it up. You're coming off like you're a fucking sex addict.

I wasn't aware a 17 old male wanting to have intercourse with an attractive and emotionally compatible female of similar age and status was now classified in the same category as people wanting meth, gambling their life savings away, etc.

She doesn't want to have sex right now, and that's that.

Quit lying. She didn't say she didn't want to have sex right now. She said she found sex repulsive.

You obviously haven't, nor will you, convince her.

If she wasn't an immature, frigid bitch then he wouldn't need to convince her of anything. Sex should be a normal and natural part of a relationship between these two people, she's the one with the irrational emotional issues to sort out, not him.

It's your own fault that she makes those negative comments, you're the one pushing her.

Naturally, you'll find fault with a man for being honest.

I'm not in favor of abstinence by any means, but I am supportive of peoples right to do what they want without people interfering with them.

Yeah, he should bottle all of his feelings up and pretend everything is just fine when they actually aren't. That's what a woman wants, right?

If she doesn't want to have sex, that's her decision.

He's not talking about raping her. He's talking about leaving her. Big difference, in case you couldn't tell.

Have you looked at it from her side?

The only reasoning she's given is that she finds sex repulsive, which is the most downright juvenile and emotionally insecure reason one can ever give.

Maybe she wants to break up with you when you push her to do something she obviously doesn't want to fucking do.

If a woman is too immature to be in touch with her sexual desires, or if she is but is simply staying with the OP despite a lack of attraction, then she would be better off leaving someone clearly too mature for her.

If you have these feelings over something as insignificant as this, you're not going to have any kind of future with her.

What the fuck? Are you a Jesus freak or just someone's great-grandmother? Since when are an adolescent male's sexual feelings "insignificant" in a relationship?

I'll spare you the chloroform joke for now....

maybe shes afraid it will hurt?

maybe she has catholic ideals?

Or maybe shes a fricking towel head, in which case Im suprised an american citizen would let her in there house;)

p.s. Im british and i think your country blows soemtimes...

If you truly loved her, you'd wait

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Personally, I don't think relationships are meant to revolve around sex. If you are considering the option of breaking up with her because she doesn't want to have sex, you have your priorities wrong.
ANYONE who says, "I love her, but I don't like how she won't have sex with me," has their priorities wrong.
On another note, you are sure she is a virgin? How much do you know about her background? Perhaps she was raped or at the very least, molested when she was younger, and that is the reason she finds it repulsive?
Something to consider.

Mary her. Problem solved.

Dude if it has to come down to sex, you've already lost her. It will escalate from there and you've get to go to sosuave.com and try all over again.

The more you pressure her into it, the more you'll put her off to it, just so you know.

Fuck you beat me too it.

Ugh...

Okay. I understand your point. HOWEVER...

You say she makes negative comments about sex all the time. Do you talk to her about sex? It's probably her way of telling you that she isn't ready and doesn't want to, since if she told you directly you would just argue with her. As far as telling her goes, I suggest you sit down with her and have a serious talk, prefaced with a solemn "I am NOT trying to pressure you into having sex if you aren't ready, but I have a problem with that." Try to work on a solution.

This is just my 2 cents but. if shes a virgin just respect the fact she wants to stay a virgin.
and give her time to open up.
in my opinion sex complicates things if ur just starting to date.
;)

You konw what's interestnig? I posted this on another forum too.. and every girl who responds gives me the whole 'if you love her you'll wait' bullshit, or they tell me how im the one being irrational, and that i'm being an asshole or whatever.

They can relate to my girlfriend.

Every guy who answers can relate to the way i'm thinking, and knows exactly what i'm talking about here.

Maybe this is just something where i'll never really be able to understand her motivations..

you would break up with a girl because she doesnt want to have sex?

a) You really suck.
b) She should break up with you
c) if you care about her, then you will respect her wishes to wait. if shes not ready shes not ready. if you love being with her so much, then whats wrong with waiting? it will happen eventually.

you would break up with a girl because she doesnt want to have sex?

a) You really suck.
b) She should break up with you
c) if you care about her, then you will respect her wishes to wait. if shes not ready shes not ready. if you love being with her so much, then whats wrong with waiting? it will happen eventually.

Wowowow, don't be that hard. Now lets get to the point. Our natural instinct, and sole reason that men want girlfriends, is for sex. If you've been awarded the title of boyfriend, one should be getting some. If one is not even moving in the direction of ever going to have sex with her, the entire natural point of the relationship is nonexistant. No man would ever make an attempt at a girl if he knows he can't have sex with her.

However, the circumstances do change since you're getting oral sex etc.

I cant believe this whole "if you love her, youll wait"
Sexual compatability IS something to take into consideration when picking a mate.
If you have different sex drives its just not gonna work now is it?

We do everything else on a regular basis.. blowjobs a couple times a week, fingering and shit as often.

I can't get her to orgasm.

In all honesty, I may have found your problem. Since you are 17 I assume you are relatively inexperienced. Do what you have to in order to make her orgasm. Find out what she likes, what turns her on, every girl is different. If you can take her all the way, her views on sex may very well change. Try oral sex, if you do it right, odds are she'll be more open to other things. Generally try to slip in "sex talk". You should be able to open up any girl that isn't completely asexual, if you learn what she likes.

If sex isn't an option whatsoever (which I doubt) before you get rid of a good thing, talk to her about it. Tell her that it /is/ and issue, but if she can tell you why, maybe you can work around it.

If she refuses to talk to you about it, I would say break it off, if she isn't willing to tell you why, she doesn't like you as much as you like her.

Sounds harsh, but she might just not return your feelings, she could be "saving" her virginity for someone else.

If she is shy about it, but you think there is hope, buddy up to the fellas in the porn thread over in IFIOTW and buy a bottle of lube. Your left hand is your new best friend.

If all of the above fail, get rid of her. As harsh as it sounds, no relationship can survive without sex. It just won't work out.

you would break up with a girl because she doesnt want to have sex?

Is there a valid reason to stay with a girl that, quite literally, finds the idea of having sex with you to be repulsive? I thought not.

a) You really suck.

You're just a mindless fucktard.

b) She should break up with you

Yeah, she should. The OP sounds like an overall decent guy, much better than this immature cunt of a girlfriend he's got.

c) if you care about her, then you will respect her wishes to wait. if shes not ready shes not ready.

Are you fucking stupid? Can you not read?

When did his girlfriend say that she's "not ready"? Oh, wait. She didn't. She says that the idea of sex is repulsive, which is the absolute extreme of immaturity.

if you love being with her so much, then whats wrong with waiting? it will happen eventually.

Men don't pursue women because they have no sexual desire for them, maybe if you took your head out of the sand for 2 seconds you'd realize that. Once again, there is absolutely no reason for thinking she will eventually want sex.

Why would you think it will "happen eventually"? They have been together for over a year, if she isn't ready to open up to him at this point about practically everything then she should leave the relationship, because she will never be ready.

Also, if she wants to wait till marriage, then definitely dump the cunt. You don't want to get married to someone you're sexually incompatible with.

You could ask her how you can please her better. That should help. Alcohol is good. And if she's still resisting, just give her roofies have sex the normal way, with her unconscious.

How do you tell someone that their lack of sexual itnerest in you is going to force you to break up with them?

Doesn't that seem shallow?

IS that shallow?

Am I being an ass hole?

Should I talk to her?

Keep trucking on?

What the fuck do I do?


1. Tell them their lack of sexual interest in you is going to force you to break up with them.

2. Yes.

3. Yes.

4. Yes.

5. Yes.

6. Yes

7. Fuck her. lulz.

I think this topic would, at its current state, suit better living through chemistry better.

QFT

This is how you should live your life, you're not shallow, your girlfriend is just a whiny little bitch who needs to stop living by every word her parents/religion tells her. If she were to start having sex, even SHE would love it and i would swear my life on it that she would even go up to you and apologize non stop for being so stubborn. 'Nuff said.

you would break up with a girl because she doesnt want to have sex?

a) You really suck.
b) She should break up with you
c) if you care about her, then you will respect her wishes to wait. if shes not ready shes not ready. if you love being with her so much, then whats wrong with waiting? it will happen eventually.

No, you have it all wrong, they BOTH need to start enjoying their life.

Me and my girlfriend truly love each other, and we couldn't wait.

Its easy to see how much you must love her, you know, with your tendency to break up with her being spurred by her lack of desire to have sex with you.

I guess it comes down to whether your such an immature piece of shit that you can't be in a relationship with somebody who's values and desires are different than your own.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Personally, I don't think relationships are meant to revolve around sex.

Correct. BUT, sex is a very big part of a relationship and actually helps the relationship itself. Loving her should be your goal here. But fucking her is a good way to show it. =)

Maybe her values are just.... Socially unacceptable...

Sex is the physical form of love. If she's not going to have sex with you, does she "really love" you?

QFT

This is a great way to look at it!

I guess it comes down to whether your such an immature piece of shit that you can't be in a relationship with somebody who's values and desires are different than your own.

So the you would date a pedophile who had no interest in you sexually?

You know, they're values and desires are just different than your own, you shouldn't judge them for being in a relationship with you even though they don't find you attractive. That would, after all, be immature.

ya man... dont tell her you want to have sex with her. tell her you want to "make love" to her. and say it in a nice sweet kind and loving way.
and then post pics of teh sex.

You're being sexually gratified and she isn't.
Therefore, you want more and different kinds of sex, and she doesn't. I don't find it that surprising. If you've been going out with her a year and a half and you've never made her cum, something's fucking wrong. Figure out what she likes (or, hell, just ask her) and do it. Once you have her cumming on any kind of a regular basis, and prove that you have her sexual pleasure in mind, things should change. But you definitely need to man up and think about the girl you care about, not run off on a quest for easy, meaningless pussy. I'm not gonna say 'If you love her, you'll wait', but I think if you love her, she's worth the challenge.