So I started going to college, it's pretty cool I guess. I'm staying on campus and have a roommate that I hadn't met prior to coming here. He's a decent guy, I guess and gets laid on a regular basis. Not that that's really any of my business, but he has sex in our room at least twice a week while I'm trying to sleep. I always here some weird noise and look over to his bed and he's got some chick contorted in a strange position. And it makes me feel weird inside, but not weird enough to let it bother me much, until last night. I woke up to get take a huge piss in our dorm room sink because I was pretty much drunk and while climbing into my bed I see him and some chick in the moonlight fucking in some strange porno position and me and the chick made eye contact. Didn't bug me but I think she was bothered by me being in there because when I was mashing my face into the pillow trying to get to sleep I heard them stop fucking and could hear her start bitching and my name brought up a few times but I couldn't hear the conversation over the buzz of the window fan. I hate to be interfering with my roommates getting laid, and I'm a pretty strange guy, most the girls he brings in here dislike me with their clothes on so I imagine they hate me with their clothes off.

So totse, dorm room etiquette, next time my roommates boning some bitch should I go find something to do outside of our room for thirty minutes or is it their problem that I looked over when they were naked when I was trying to sleep?

I'm not gonna touch this one.

Talk to him. Tell him that you dont care how much fucking he does, but when you come home at 11pm/12am, you want to get some sleep.

But keep your tone down. It is an arguement, not a fight. Many people can differentiate. Tell him he can have privacy in the evening if he is sexing, but you don't want to be made uncomfortable when you go to sleep.

isn't there a commons or quiet study room in your dorm? if i were you, i'd go find some place else to sleep. either that or try to get a new roomie. if you go to the housing office and tell them your situation i'm sure they will try to do something for you. by the way, you sound pretty strange to me. i personally would not stay in the room if my roommate were fucking, nor would i fuck with my roommate in the room

I mostly found it strange that you're sharing a bedroom.

There is only one practical solution to your problem. Run the train on his next partner. That or London Bridge:

A sex position in which a woman bends over backwards while receiving vaginal intercourse and giving oral sex simultaneously.

That's the Eiffel tower, or the Rotisserie.

That's so messed up on so many levels.
1-Your room mate just..fucks bitches.. without even asking them if it's okay that they've got a room buddy?
2-Why the hell should you have to leave just because your room mate is selfish enough to bring a girl bacK? What the fuck?
It's your place as much as his.

Tell him to go fuck his whores in a car or public toilet or something, what he's doing is rude and sick.

this never ever goes tghrough someones mind when they're about to stick their dick in a females vagina.

So is this grounds for me to be an asshole when he's bangin' bitches while I'm trying to sleep?

That's the Eiffel tower

Wow, I always thought the Eiffel Tower was standing DP, haha..

I too suggest that you run the train, do the same to him on other nights, or get a new room. I'm sure dorms are no different than barracks, so it might be hard to get away from. If he's coming home to do it and you're already there, he's an ass, or there should be an understanding that you'll disappear for a while (and vice versa).

Openly jerk off the next time it happens. Should only have to do it once.

Get a video camera and sell DVD's. Man, I wish I had your room mate, and just join in and tag team that slut, you're in college. WTF.

I also recommend this. If it doesn't work, at least you can be happy that the quality of this live action porno is truly HD.

I also recommend this. If it doesn't work, at least you can be happy that the quality of this live action porno is truly HD.

I'm hoping the lights are off when this is happening, making it a pretty crappy 'live action porno... truly HD' and if there's enough light that you can see well, that just adds so much more creepiness.

I gotta agree, with that kinda situation you could either make some major scratch sellin some dvd's of that porno-esque shit or join in and tag team some random chick twice a week. You're in college. WTF!?

Solution: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vm--lU0Gyao

Brilliant. :D

No really, if you do this the girls will be so fucking grossed out your roommate will get a reputation for being a sick fuck that lets his roommate wank whilst he screws a girl.

You sound like a chump. Uneasy? Why should you be uneasy? They're fucking on the ground, big fucking deal. You needed to take a piss, she looked up, her fucking fault. I would of just given a laugh and gone to sleep.

If he doesn't want you fucking up his lays, then tell him to take the bitch into the bathroom or something. It's both of your rooms, grow some fucking balls man and maybe he'll be the one watching you fuck some girls.

P.S. yoyobek, fucking Jesus Christ! Haven't you seen Dave Chapelle you English nanny....tons of women like having a guy watch them get fucked.

Turn the lights on and sit there watching them. they'll get the message.

Your roommate is kinda weird for nailing a girl in your room while you're trying to sleep. I would just make conversation. You wake up at like 1am and they're fucking "hey, I'm off to grab a quick snack, you guys want anything?"

Then when you get back, turn the lights on and check your email, then go to bed.

If she doesn't leave, she's probably willing to suck your dick as well.

if i was use i would set up cameras and post the videos on here. Any one else agree?

Throw the idea out there to him that sex outside of your dorm is waaaaaay more fun than sex in a boring old bed.

Or say "Fuck you bitch!...You don't like it, take him back to YOUR dorm and fuck there. Bitch!"

I like the first idea for the amusement I could have being there when the police bring him home with a nice public indecency charge.

But the second seems way more straight up and to the point.

Ask if you can have some too...

set a chair about 5 feet in front of the bed. get a pen and a notebook and sit in the chair after theyve started going at it. stare at them while being perfectly still. suddenly in a deep voice yell "DORM MATE'S LOG *insert time and date*" and begin describing the girl and the sex out loud in detail while writing it all down, and keep doing so until they finish and end with an inspiring, yet sarcastic in a very subtle way, quote and close the notebook and click the pen closed and stand up and walk in a very serious manner over to your dresser or nightstand and place it down while looking deeply into it, then look over and stare at them for a while, and then finally get into bed facing away from them and go to sleep.

naw don't worry about it....i've heard similar stories from a lot of my frat bro's from when they lived in the dorms....he obviously doesn't care if you're in the room....she's obviously slutty enough to screw him knowing your in the room....don't worry about it...but dont be creepy....don't look over and watch....definately dont jack off.....just pretend you're asleep. but if you gotta get up and piss in the middle....if you cant hold it, just do it...but dont look over, act as if nothing abnormal is going on....but obviously the girl will feel uncomfortable after she knows your up....your roomie probably said you are a hard sleeper and are already out, won't even know...which is BS...but who cares.

and how do you mean you're 'strange'? you should be pressuring your roommate to pull the 'ok, you can come over and hang out, but you bring a friend and i'll bring a friend....then you double team a few skanks....but you can't be wierd or too eager....man i cant even explain how to pull it off...but its not that hard...especially if you're in freshman dorms like im assuming you are....

Tell him to bring 2 girls back.

I like the first idea for the amusement I could have being there when the police bring him home with a nice public indecency charge.



Hell no. I am not bringing any police into my place or residence for any reason. So he can get a ticket and I can go to jail the second the cop smells the reefer...

I told him that when I'm not asleep all he has to do is ask me to leave and I'll go find something else to do. But if I am asleep I rather he wake me up tell me to go somewhere else and give me some drugs/alcohol the next day than fuck while I sleep. And if he fucks while I'm in the room he's paying 'taxes', well, I guess she'd be paying them...

Why am I weird and creepy? Well, I live in the athletic dorm and I'm a chem major. Something like 75% of the kids living in here are on sports teams and I'm the one huge dweeb on our floor. All these kids are your typical jocko homos. Not that all of them treat me poorly, infact a strong majority are pretty friendly towards me because I'm kind of a culture shock to them, but a good chunk look down on me because I'm the unattractive and nerdy...

"You guys got any lube I could borrow? I'm gonna go rub one out in the shitter" should just about do it.

This is college. You shouldn't be sleeping, you should be finding some girl to shag for yourself.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Fucki ng priceless Essjay! I tip my hat to you sir!

This is fucking ridiculous. It's your room as much as his,but you have to sit there with a pillow over your face and a fan cranked up because he's a douche-cake? Tell him you don't care who he fucks,but to take the bitch somewhere else when it's 1 in the fucking morning.

Wow, I always thought the Eiffel Tower was standing DP, haha..

No, no, no! The Eiffel tower is where a threesome are running the train, and the two guys high-five in the middle.

^ = True

well this was some lol

The answer is simple. Set up a webcam and broadcast your roomy live over the internet. Make sure the rest of the campus know about it first so they're all watching, kinda American Pie style!

He'll likely find it pretty hard to get a date thereafter, so problem solved! :D

I was about to say the same thing.

Well dude,

speaking from experience, there's really no reason you should have to sit there in silence while he fingerblasts some bitch down in his bed.

it's just as much your room as it is his...

ahh to live in the dorms.

Calls out, *"I've got dibs on sloppy seconds"* :p

lol that would be awesome! especially if the chick's totally into it. then its a win win

Tell him that from now on you have made it a point (or a project) to film yourself and your surroundings 24/7.

Put up a tripod with a video cam filming yourself all night, but of course in an angle where they would be captured.

Then sell the tapes online.

"I'm not going to touch this with a thirty foot pole" - Jesus
fixed

It's your room, too.

Buy a couple cans of kidney beans. In the afternoon, eat as much of them as you can. Then follow it with a boiled egg. When you go to bed, while he's venting his balls, you'll be venting you ass. Keep doing this until one of you surrenders and goes somewhere else to do their thing.

This thread wins!

If you start masturbating with sincere animation...it should only take about 1 night.

Yeah. ^^^ Do that while commenting on what they're doing. Complimenting them when one of them makes a good move & dissing them when one isn't holding up their end.

..."Awww...Honey...if you don't move? If you just laaaay there he innt gonna has hisself a gooood time. So move your ass li'l lady! Move your ass!"

What you said.

Or else give it some commentry like an animal documentary, with the british accent added for laughs.
"Here we see the male mounting the female..."

I Just want to say that this thread has been outstanding in the whole making me laugh in the morning aspect; kudos. In addition to all of the masturbation solutions I feel it's important to blast your wad in an exaggerated manner that will hit her, or perhaps both of them.

Preferable with mouths agape in the moment of oblivious bliss.

Your room-mate clearly doesn't respect you, either that or you're just a pussy who doesn't deserve respect. In which case he probably doesn't respect you. Isn't there some cliche solution to this kind of thing? Like a neck tie on the doorknob or something? You just work out something subtle like that, but definitely don't go fuck off somewhere uncomfortable to sleep.

Fucking in strange places can be fun, sleeping in strange places can be annoying....especially when there isn't any really entertaining story attatched to it.

this. watch crocodile hunter for tips. just try not to die like he did.

Zonko = Ireland

What you said.

kAtE = New Zealand

Most dorms in the US are only one room, expessially if you're a freshman or sophomore.

this. watch crocodile hunter for tips. just try not to die like he did.

Well, I was gonna say David Attenbrough, but if you're game to go stick your finger in her to see if she's male of female, go ahead.

Just had another idea, it'll kill any mood: loud flatulence. If you wanna add some laughs to it, lift the blanket up, take a whiff and go "FUCKING HELL! You guys gotta sniff this!" then just use the blanket to woft the smell towards them.

ATTN MODS: Can you plz change this thread title?

Every time I come to S&A, I see the word "promiscuous" in the title, and I get that Nell Furtado song stuck in my head...

And I really don't like Nelly Furtado...

Thank you in advance,

Robinhoody

^^^Promiscuous? 'Like a bird"?

Do you mean like with the pair-bonding for life, but slipping around on the side with the hot free birds when you get the chance?

I've wondered: is the song really 'her' or just a persona she takes on for the song? In other words: is she really pair bonded to her baby daddy or is she 'like-a-bird' & ok to hit on if you meet her & the love-sparks fly?! :p