So this is a long story, and I have to start waaaayyy back for it to make any sense.


Also, before I start, this is serious, I don't want any "Too long/Did not read" or "Stick it in her ass" or any memes. Not in the mood right now at all and if you read all of this you'll know why.

Begin:
(2 months ago)
Alright, so there's this girl that I really like and everything about us seems to click, and on the last day of school i'm about to ask her out and i'm pretty sure she's going to say yes. I'm very happy at this point.

So we're driving around in my Camaro, her in the front and my best friend in the back passenger seat. All of a sudden I come around a curve and theres a truck in my lane. I slam on the brakes and they lock up. As fast as im going I hit the ditch. The car flips. If you saw my thread in Gearheads back then, you know the rest.

Anyways, if you've ever been in a crash like mine you know that everything seems to slow down. All I really remember is thinking to myself "I hope she doesn't get hurt" and putting my arm across her.

Then its back to the normal speed and we're upside down on the side of the road. First words out of my mouth are "(her name) are you alright?" Shes sobbing and my friend is moaning (broke his left orbital and sinus) Still all i'm thinking is "god i hope shes alright" and im working to get us all out of the car and some guy helps.

Forward 10 minutes- I'm sitting on the side of the road trying desperately to comfort her and figure out if shes hurt. The EMT finally gets there and looks after her.

At that moment i'm more pissed off than I've ever been.
Not because I lost my car, I could care less about it.
Not because I hurt my best friend. (I was sorry and he knew it but we have this kind of unspoken agreement that neither of us is going to beat ourselves up over the grief we cause each other)
It's because she's hurt and im to blame.

An hour later I'm at the hospital waiting to see them. I feel like shit. Its this deep horrible feeling in my gut.

I finally get to see her and it doesn't make me feel any better to see her laid out on a stretcher in a neck brace. I leave quickly because frankly i'm scared of her dad. I follow them both through x-rays and all and after everything I get to talk to her.

She tells me she's not mad and i believe her, it's sincere and even if it wasn't I wouldn't blame her. She tells me not to beat myself up over it and that it wasn't my fault and i say i'll try but i know that i'm lying for her benefit and maybe she does too.

(two days later)
I go to pick stuff out of my car and go to her house to bring her her things. She seems happier and we stand in the yard talking for two hours, but it's slow and awkward and we basically repeat the same things over and over.

I feel a bit better seeing her like that but I'm still nowhere near myself.

(two days later)
I go to my friend's house that's near hers. Shes been over a few times and i'm talking to him asking about her to make sure she's doing okay. Turns out her dad isn't letting her take her pain pills or muscle relaxers and shes having a hard time sleeping. She's real emotional and has been talking to him alot about it.

Secretly i'm pissed at him for not calling me right away and telling me but I can't stay mad because i know that the reason i wasn't told was because she didn't want to worry me.

After this we all kind of drift apart for the summer and don't see each other much. My friend called me a few days later and told me that she was doing alot better and i could tell he wasn't lying. I felt alot better and eventually got back to my normal self.

(2 weeks ago)
I wake up one morning and the first thing I think of is her. The whole day I can't get her off my mind. I realize that its these feelings I have for her resurfacing.

I know what it is, I love her (or something very close to it) , there's no getting around that, and after a few days I decide to call her.

Her cell has been disconnected. I figure she just switched services and got a new number, so i shrug it off and say ill just wait til school starts.

(today)
I show up and wait for her. She never comes and im disappointed but not many seniors come the first two days. I wouldn't have myself if i didn't have auto shop.

Later I talk to my friend (same one she lives near) And he tells me quite a tale:

Apparently her dad threatened her and she ran away. The took her car, turned off her cell (why i couldn't call) and gave away all her stuff. She's living in an apartment with a college guy and going out with him (just recently started)

I feel like shit again but even worse this time because under it all theres still this love that i have for her. I feel even worse because the wreck might have caused some of it, as i heard her and her dad were fighting alot after it. I feel that my chance might have slipped away and it feels horrible.

So heres my questions

1. Am I wrong for still feeling about her the way I do, even though she's with somebody else?
2. Why do I still feel so much remorse over what happened even though she was barely hurt?
3. Should I tell her how I feel?

I don't know how she feels about me anymore and I don't know how she feels about him.
If she really loves him than I wouldn't want to try and intervene. I'd rather be without her and have her be happy than to have her and her not be as happy.
I don't really know how she would react if i told her how i felt either. I guess it really depends on how involved she is with this guy, but i'd rather keep her as a friend and never say anything than lose her forever by making it weird.

I'm going to go offer her a ride to school because she has no car and this guy won't take her, but the only place I can is her work so im going there Saturday to talk to her and I've got to figure out what to say by then.

Please help me, I'm so fucking confused right now and I can't take feeling like this for much longer.

UPDATE: So now she's moved back in with her parents. I don't know if this means it's over with the other guy or what, but i'll be finding out soon. And shes back at school, which made me really happy because it sounded like she might have been planning to just give it up and that really bothered me.

I don't really know what to tell you. This is your decision. You feel so bad about her being hurt, because you love her so much. Of course you're going to feel bad.

If I was in your position, I'd tell her. But then again, who knows? Do you know the college guy? He could be hot headed and come after you.....but if you tell her, if she breaks up with the guy, she'd have you in mind and maybe come to you.

As I said, this is your decision. Try not to get stressed about it and just think for a while.

i agree not to get stressed out, but if i were you i would tell her how you feel because she needs to know this kind of stuff. if you dont tell her she wont possibly break up with that guy, because she is just as clueless as you are about how you feel about her as you are clueless as to how she feels about you.
just be cool man.

way i see it:

1. no, why would it ever be wrong to care for somebody. you dont have to automatically respect somebody you dont know (the guy), and you have no clear idea what level of relationship that is.

2. because you do. you should explore that yourself.. we dont know your lifes story. look back and look within yourself.

3. if you feel you should. i sure as hell would if i truly cared.

pics of your camaro or it didn't happen

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=30086159&albumId=704130

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=30086159&albumId=704130

I'm not a fag I don't have myspace


I'll take your word though...

I'm not a fag I don't have myspace


I'll take your word though...

Ok. The car was never the point anyways.

Back on topic?
More advice? Anyone?

Even though i'm pretty sure i've already made my decision as to what i'm doing...

I'd say, go for it. You never know if you don't try.

First off... it doesn't really sound like love. Maybe friendship+infatuation, but not deep love. Sorry. Maybe some of the olderer (married?) members could give you a better feel... but that sounds similar to how I've felt when I'm entirely infatuated with someone. Sure, media likes to call that love, but no. Its not.

I guess you could love her though.

Anyways - I would just lay it all out on the table. Try not to say love though. That scares girls until you are in some sort of relationship. but tell her everything, how worried you've been, and just see whats what. Try to listen more than talk, if you can. See if you can have her tell you what you've found out from others to get a better feel for it.

Hope it works out for you. Good luck.

The only real advice I can offer without knowing more about her situation is this: If you don't at least give it a shot and let her know how you feel, you are always going to wonder if something might have been different.

In my opinion it would be better to regret having said it, and still be able to have a friendship, than to keep it to yourself and spend god only knows how long wishing you had and questioning your decision.

It doesn't even sound like the accident was your fault. There was a truck in your lane!

Anyway.. I think that you should just move on.. It didn't really sound like you two went that well together.. My rationalization: If it was meant to be, you would've been over there every day.. or something to that extent.. keeping her company.. You'd have pursued it right then.. That was a perfect opportunity for you to jump in there and show her that you wanted to be there for her emotionally or, more importantly, romantically..

I'd say you shouldn't intervene.. She's living with someone now.. Think of this.. If she leaves him for you, where would she live? Your relationship would be way to vulnerable to have her move in with you.. And if it didn't work out, she'd be homeless..

You should find someone else.. Don't got chasing the past.. If an opportunity with her arises, sure.. take it.. But it sounds to me like nothing is really jumping at you.. You're trying to jump at nothing..

Hope that helped..

tough fucking shit, you can't blame her for protecting you against some of the shit she tried to hide from you, and she ran to a guy who gave her shelter. anyways, her dad is a fucking maniac wtf is wrong with him.

find her, help her, tell her, before it's too late.

apocalypse now FTW.:D

UPDATE: So now she's moved back in with her parents. I don't know if this means it's over with the other guy or what, but i'll be finding out soon. And shes back at school, which made me really happy because it sounded like she might have been planning to just give it up and that really bothered me.

But anyways, I'm just going to talk to her next chance I get, see what's up, and if it feels right at the time i'm just going to lay it out and tell her how i feel.

Good, make sure to tell us how it goes.

UPDATE, again:
Still going to talk to her tomorrow, see how that goes. But, ...

She is still with the other guy, and I was asking around and it turns out he is ultra-jealous of anyone who even gets near her, quick to anger, doesn't wait for an explanation, and is huge.

I know this because he almost beat the shit out of one of my friends because he was putting gas in her car. Maybe 'roid-rage, as big as he is, but that's just what someone said.

And I'm pretty good size and muscular, but shit, this guy could tear me apart...

So basically what I'm hoping is that she doesn't take what I say the wrong way and go to him about it. Not that she would want him to do anything to me, but it sounds like he wouldn't have to be asked.

Hopefully it'll go like :

Me: Hey, do you think we could talk for a minute, in private?
Her: Sure.
Me: So theres something that i've been meaning to tell you, for a long time, since before the crash even.
Her: Yeah?
Me: (name), I really like you, more than just friends, and I wanted to let you know so long ago, but It was just never the right time, and then we had the wreck, and I was so worried about you that everything else kindof took a backseat to that.
(pause for it to sink in, maybe. also could be freakout time, but highly doubt it)
Me: And I know you're with someone else right now, and I don't really know how involved you guys are, and I'm not expecting you to leave him for me or anything, but i just needed to let you know how i felt. If you don't feel the same, that's cool, I understand. I still want to be friends though, if you're alright with that.
(guess it depends on how she feels as to where it goes from here)

So anyways, it sounds good in my head at least, although it might completely change when it comes time.

Still the only way I can talk to her is to do it at her work tomorrow, so hopefully shes either free for a few minutes, or about to be on break. If not, I think I'll just tell her i need to talk to her about something important, but not here and give her my number.

And as long as I don't weird her out or scare her off, I'll be happy with pretty much any way it turns out.


edit: oh, and thanks to everyone so far, except for getoffmylawn, Punk_Rocker_22, and E-digger, for helping me.

Seems good to me. That's basically what I'd do if I were in your situation.

I'm going to go offer her a ride to school

lawl.
Like she ever wants you to drive her around again

But seriously, stick it in her ass

First of all, it wasn't your fault. Not by a long shot. Nothing should have changed between you and her, and if you will it so, nothing will.

Second of all, some strange things are going on in her life. If I were you, I would step back a little and be very cautious where you go next.

Oh yes, and if you push for a relationship after you've almost killed her (it wasn't your fault but you have to use tact here) you will crash and burn. Don't.

Well, its been 3 months since the crash, but if you looked at my most recent post, im not going to push for anything.

Its just something i have to tell her so if nothing else i can get it off my chest and feel better.

Well, I'm leaving in about 10 minutes. Little bit nervous but I guess thats to be expected. Definitely feels like I'm doing the right thing though.

Guess i'll be able to tell you all what happened in the next few hours.

Hope it worked out. If it felt right, and if it feels right no matter the outcome, it was.

Well, I did it. Didn't really go like I had planned but I was still happy with what went down.

Basically I got there and I decided that it wasn't the time or the place to tell her how I felt and that I was better off just being a friend for right now. I told her I was there for her if she needed anything.

Or he heard wrong, or misinterpreted her. Glad to hear you followed your instincts and had the balls to follow it up. Good man.

Yea, in fact I just talked to him on the phone and what happened is she moved back in for one day so she could get all of her stuff.

Anyways i'm alot happier now than I have been just from getting to talk to her. I think though, that i'm just going to let it go for now. As much as i'd like to be able, I can't wait around for the chance that she would be available.

Maybe if some time later on she's not with him and i'm not with someone else we might try it out but for now i'm just not going to dwell on it.

Look, buddy, her parents made a judgment of your character and concluded that you are such an unspeakable asshole that she needs her head examined for even getting into a car with you. Think about it: Your irresponsible driving damnned nearly killed both her and your best friend.

Get into therapy and see if there's some part of you that can be salvaged.

Huh?

You didn't really read it, did you?
Picked out a few choice words?
Made up the rest?

Sounds like it...