My boyfriend really hates that I smoke and drink. So he talked to me about it one day so since then Ive quit smoking cigerettes and I dont drink when I have problems anymore, but I still smoke weed and Im not going to stop and he knows it. He doesnt like it though and he says hes worried about me. Ive told him Im not going to quit weed but how do I make him feel better about it? I feel bad cause he has to worrie about that and he shouldnt.

I was talking to him one day and I said that I dont really care if its bad for me, I think its fun and you only live once so Im gonna do it, and then he told me well you dont care but other people do...

and wtf am I supposed to say to that? cause I do care that he cares but Im not gonna stop doing something I like because of that.

Wtf do I do?

Try and persuade him to get in on it.

If he can have a good time doing something with you, he might relax about it. Have you told him what you're telling us that you really like him but don't want him worrying about you and that you'll not over do it?

Yeah Ive told him that, he Just askes me why the fuck I would do that, shakes his head at me, and sits down =/ He seems really stressed about it, I dont know why, its Just weed its not like im doing heroin.

your bfs a pussy

your bfs a pussy

I agree
It seems she is the man in the relationship

It's sweet of him to care...
I suggest not doing it infront of him and then blaze your little heart out when he's not around. It's not the honest approach, but it's the logical one.

I agree
It seems she is the man in the relationship

Yes...yes...but a really curvy & solid man...in a semi-solid & jiggly kinda way?

Is he your beau...or a new dad in place of the old one?

Is he your beau...or a new dad in place of the old one?

What, so it's wrong of the guy to care about her? I dont see how it's 'father like' to actually give a damn about the girls wellbeing.

What, so it's wrong of the guy to care about her? I dont see how it's 'father like' to actually give a damn about the girls wellbeing.

And how many people actually like their friend/partner to try to change them?

Would you like your beau to change your hairstyle & rip on your cardigans all the time? It's natural for people who are close & spend a lot of time together to influence each other. How much should they actually be active in renovating their partner is another story?

Should one look for 'bargain partners'? Human equivalents of real estate ads for dilapidated houses as 'fixer-uppers' or 'handyman specials'? Get a girl with a 'real pretty face' who just happens to be 60 kilos overweight & starve her down to model size?

Supporting someone in changing themselves is a whole other ballgame than renovating them yourself...innit? :p

And how many people actually like their friend/partner to try to change them?

Would you like your beau to change your hairstyle & rip on your cardigans all the time?

There's a difference between not liking something damaging someone does to themselves and not liking their appearance.

If thread starters boyfriend was going "omg your hair is gay you need to change it" I'd be advising her to leave the fucker. If she cant fill the shape of the girlfriend he wants to see before him she shouldnt have to try for the fucker.

Does your pot smoking effect your everyday life? Or is it just something you use to chill with?
Tell him you've stopped the ciggies and toned down the drinking for him - but that you enjoy smoking pot and that it's something he'll have to deal with. Just try to limit the amount you smoke around him.

If he becomes annoying then tell him where to go.

How many times a week do you smoke?

Well...we don't really know the depth of their relationship. If they were close & getting closer as friends & were thinking about being more exclusive? And they talked about smoking & drinking & she knew how he felt & adjusted her use of them before? On her own?

I'd respect the reality of her change a lot more.

Her changing for him...more than him nagging & ragging on her butt (if that's how he acts?) until she changes. I don't know... I just have to write from how I wackily picture it all in my mind.

Shutup kate, noone wants to hear your stoner feminist claptrap.

How often do you smoke?

Buried in moonspeak is some good advice here, by the way.

I'd dump him. ^^

Hotbox the fucker, thats what my big brother did to me when I used to complain about his pot smoking so it might work in this situation too.

*lights another joint*

Yeah! ^^^ Smoke him up/steal his soul.

Leave him howling at the moon... :)

The question has to be why is your desire for that crap stronger than your wish to please your man?

You kicked the ciggies (props btw for that, I've never managed it) but it seems that pot means soooooo much to you that its more important than your b/f giving himself an ulcer worrying about you.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the stuff. Hell, since the age of about 12 my kids have been allowed A joint with their mates if they want. But it IS a drug. It does have its dangers and the more you smoke the more dangerous it gets.

It is not the answer for all the worlds problems and it isn't god's gift to mankind.

Its a drug.

Safer than alcohol for sure but it has its risks and your boyfriend has every right to worry.

Maybe he's seen the latest studies that show it can cause major mental problems down the line.

The question has to be why is your desire for that crap stronger than your wish to please your man?




<Insert here towering feminist and stoner rage/rant>

Why would she possibly want to please her man?

... nothing Kate said was femminist it belonged to another hated school of thought 'logic'.

Why would she possibly want to please her man?
...

The same reason he's looking out for his woman.

It's called love you sad people.

Shutup kate, noone wants to hear your stoner feminist claptrap.

Look. Stop speaking for other people, okay?

I dont give a fuck what sort of private vendetta you may have against Kate, but keep it out of this forum.

Sucks. Glad mine smokes with me. xD

Either you stop, or your relationship is going to fail horribly. Take your pick.

I'll smoke with you. :D

Don't do it behind his back, violating trust in a relationship is just not a sensible thing to do. You're gonna have to sort this one out up front, try your best to convince him of the virtues of the bud. If that fails then you're just gonna have to weigh up whether smoking the ganja or him worrying his ass off about you means more to you. Good luck.

Look. Stop speaking for other people, okay?

I dont give a fuck what sort of private vendetta you may have against Kate, but keep it out of this forum.

Have you been spending time with Americans recently? you seem to have lost your ability to detect humour when it isn't accompanied by canned stuido laughter;)

I agree. My ex thought that weed was the devil and I couldn't do anything to convince him otherwise. So I did exactly what yoyo has suggested here.

I agree. My ex thought that weed was the devil and I couldn't do anything to convince him otherwise. So I did exactly what yoyo has suggested here.

*shakes head sadly*

Your boyfriend reminds me of that stupid anti-drug commercial where the girls dog starts talking to her telling her that he wished she didn't smoke pot.

your bfs a pussy

cue eff tee

Well I dont do it infront of him or around him and I dont really talk about it so its almost like I dont do it for him, but Im not doing it behind his back he knows about it. I think hes starting to get used to it but he still doesnt like it, but I guess hes gonna deal with it or shank the guy I buy it from xD

And thanks for the replys.

I have the solution.


Post nudes.

Finally!!

What is S&A coming to when we have to wait 4 pages for the correct reply?!

Finally!!

What is S&A coming to when we have to wait 4 pages for the correct reply?!

User CP -> Edit Options -> Number of Posts to Show Per Page -> Show 40 Posts Per Page.

10 posts per page is the most irritating thing ever.

Have you been spending time with Americans recently? you seem to have lost your ability to detect humour when it isn't accompanied by canned stuido laughter;)

:(
Sorry. Jealous.



Thread starter, I'd have alot of respect for your boyfriend if he did kick the crap out of the person who sells you the weed. I know it would be an inconveinience and all but it would show how much he cares for you.

I guess I 'm just too immature. I tend to think that one should find a partner who is already sitting in the ballpark at the same game as one's self? Not go across the street to tree & flowertop park, see someone there & drag them across the street to the ballpark.

I knows that school 'ships tend to be diff than those of grads & older? Yet, who hears good things about one partner trying to change the other? Sure, there is pressure: anti-smoking/drinking, a real fad nowdays. People do tend to get tired of other folks getting all up in their face though.

Good luck finding a partner who is 100% into the same things you are.

So you love pot more than your boyfriend?

yoyobek or sick_boy, do you have aim or msn? You seam like you know your shit and I'd rather Just talk to one person about it.

I guess it's all to do with how much he means to you.

My girlfriend hates drugs... hard drugs; mdma, coke etc.

When we started going out, I wasn't heavily into them but i ued them on a regular basis. She hated it and let me know and I took them less, but definitely didn't stop.

One night I took the piss and snorted coke and ate a few pills in front of her. She finished with me that night and left. I rang her cousin who was with her and convinced them to come back, and took my girlfriend upstairs and we talked for hours. I promised to never take drugs again, apart from drinking and smokin' weed. I was completely buzzed, and maybe wouldn't have said it sober... but I did say it, and stuck to it.

I get tempted every so often, but I'm fully prepared to stick to it for her.

I guess weed may be more difficult as it can be used habitually, but it's the same idea. If he means enough to you, you will stop and eventually feel better for it.

give your boyfriend some panphlets about how weed doesn't kill you and tell him bitch i do what I want.

It seems she is the man in the relationship

To the Op,

I suggest you invest in one of these.
http://www.bekinky.co.uk/ecommerce/bekinky/asp/info-strap-on-3.jpg

You know he wants it.

Good luck finding a partner who is 100% into the same things you are.

Are you an troll or wha'?

Are you of the school that one should just grab an attractive person & then just nag & hack & bitch until that person has changed to become suitable?

I'd guess that even if you could afford better, you'd rather have a 'fixer-upper' house. Work all day at your job, then come home & work all night & weekends getting your home into shape.

Are you an troll or wha'?

Are you of the school that one should just grab an attractive person & then just nag & hack & bitch until that person has changed to become suitable?

I'd guess that even if you could afford better, you'd rather have a 'fixer-upper' house. Work all day at your job, then come home & work all night & weekends getting your home into shape.

No

You should stop being so radical. The world is not black & white. Everyone isn't either 100% ok with you or 0% ok with you.

No

You should stop being so radical. The world is not black & white. Everyone isn't either 100% ok with you or 0% ok with you.

What is so radical about my stance? Do you try to change your friends? Do you expect them to change you? Or is the change all one way?

You do the change directing & need no changes yourself...as you are just that cool that you need no changing?

What is so radical about my stance? Do you try to change your friends? Do you expect them to change you? Or is the change all one way?

You do the change directing & need no changes yourself...as you are just that cool that you need no changing?

Nah, i like it when ppl tell me what's wrong with me and i try to change myself. I never even stated otherwise.

When i said you being radical then i meant that you act like changing one thing is a total makeover and change of life. And when i say that you can't find someone who is 100% like you, then you start talking like all i do is nag and bitch at my friends. You're jumping into extremes.

IMO, relationships need compromise cause liking absolutely everything about the other person just doesn't happen. People need to adjust

Yeah...but how much? How much is normal & how much is sick?

"Dude...you smoke, I know. Just don't smoke in my car, 'k?"

or

"Dude, ewwwww...you smoke, that's nasty! You need to stop immediately, become a vegan & go through a 10 week course of thrice weekly high enemas to clean the poison out of your system!"

Both suggested going behind your boyfriend's back and lying to him, which is one of the worst things you can do in a relationship. If something's a problem when you're honest about it, being deceitful won't make it magically disappear.

Weed causes long term problems.
Short term is minimal.

What, so it's wrong of the guy to care about her? I dont see how it's 'father like' to actually give a damn about the girls wellbeing.

QFT.

i hate that "ok, dad!" attitude that people get when your concerned, especially when you know more about drugs than they do (in my case anyway).

So...you guys have a consensus? That it's ok to play amateur therapist? That your job with friends is not to be a buddy, but to 'fix' them? That professional therapists/psychologists are just jealous when they suggest that people with no training shouldn't try to do the therapist's job?

How many of you would rather 'fix' a friend than fix yourself? It being generally considered easier to fix others than one's self.

Your relationship will be fucked sooner or later.