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| Sex and Affection Anything and everything about sex and relations. Please try to keep this forum on-topic, since things tend to wander a bit. Search through old topics before posting a new one, as questions get repeated a lot here. |
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# 1
2007-06-16, 18:20
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Regular
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Jacksonville FL
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Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
We've been dating for over a year now and she still has never had an orgasm. She lost her virginity to me and we're pretty comfortably with each other so I doubt it's because she's nervous or anything. She's been fingered by 4 other guys and they weren't able to give her an orgasm either. And when she tries it herself she can't do it either.  |
# 2
2007-06-16, 18:28
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Regular
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california
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
some girls sit on top of laundry machines and some buy special toys, i suggest you go buy her some toys.
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# 3
2007-06-16, 18:29
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Regular
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Jacksonville FL
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
I don't think that has anything to do with it.
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# 4
2007-06-16, 18:31
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Regular
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Up, up, up in a balloon
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
Have you tried putting your tounge in her vagina?
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# 5
2007-06-16, 18:33
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Regular
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16th Century Japan
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
If you can't get her to cum by fingering her or having sex, try going down on her. If you still can't make her orgasm, then you don't know how to please a woman and you need to fucking kill yourself.
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# 6
2007-06-16, 18:34
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Regular
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Up, up, up in a balloon
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
Quote:
Originally Posted by freeRadical
If you can't get her to cum by fingering her or having sex, try going down on her. If you still can't make her orgasm, then you don't know how to please a woman and you need to fucking kill yourself.
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If you can't please her, you don't need to kill yourself - just try harder. She'll appreciate your efforts, and since you haven't been canned already she's probably at least a little pleased, even if she doesn't cum.
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# 7
2007-06-16, 18:35
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Regular
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Jacksonville FL
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
Quote:
Originally Posted by captain_kirk
Have you tried putting your tounge in her vagina?
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Yes of course I have. I don't think there's anything thing wrong with what I am doing because I've given my ex-girlfriend an orgasm just by eating her out and fingering in 3 minutes. Maybe there's something wrong with her body or something? She was on SSRI's but she's been off them for almost 7 months.
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# 8
2007-06-16, 18:37
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Regular
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Florida, US
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
Quote:
Originally Posted by freeRadical
If you can't get her to cum by fingering her or having sex, try going down on her. If you still can't make her orgasm, then you don't know how to please a woman and you need to fucking kill yourself.
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And I think we've identified yet another virgin.
Anyways, theres really no cure for this problem. Get ready for a downward spiral on your self esteem for the duration of your relationship. And you damn well better expect for it to be used against you during/after the breakup.
I was the same situation. Took her virginity, stayed with her for over a year. Never happened. I tried hours of oral on end, different toys, every position you can think of. It just never happened.
You could -try- getting her stoned first, I read somewhere that that could possibly fix the problem. But my girl didnt smoke, so I never had that opportunity.
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# 9
2007-06-16, 18:37
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Regular
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16th Century Japan
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
Quote:
Originally Posted by captain_kirk
If you can't please her, you don't need to kill yourself - just try harder. She'll appreciate your efforts, and since you haven't been canned already she's probably at least a little pleased, even if she doesn't cum.
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Okay, okay, maybe I was a little harsh. Don't kill yourself, at least not over a woman. Read up on oral sex, believe or not, going down on a woman is one of the easiest ways to make her orgasm and it is very pleasurable to her. If you know how to do it right that is.
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# 10
2007-06-16, 18:47
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Regular
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Jacksonville FL
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
As I said earlier...
Quote:
Originally Posted by not marshmallow
I don't think that has anything to do with it.
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#11
2007-06-16, 18:47 |
Warplay3r 
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
Go down on her, definitly. That's what she needs, or atleast I believe. Don't be afraid either, like my friends are fucking weird saying they'll never do that. Whatever, take my advice, go down on her willingly.;)
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#12
2007-06-16, 18:48 |
getoffmylawn
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
find the clit you dumb fuck
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#13
2007-06-16, 18:48 |
not marshmallow
Regular
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
God damn. I said I have gone down on her. Plenty of times. She can't even orgasm when she tries doing it herself. So I seriously doubt this has anything with my techniques.
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#14
2007-06-16, 18:50 |
freeRadical
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by not marshmallow
God damn. I said I have gone down on her. Plenty of times. She can't even orgasm when she tries doing it herself. So I seriously doubt this has anything with my techniques.
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Then it's got to be something to do with her. Some women are weird like that. You could try talking to a sex therapist and she might be able to do something. If that doesn't work you can either kick her to the curb or spend the rest of your life with a women you can't please. |
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#15
2007-06-16, 18:51 |
Warplay3r
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
Oh my God, like what the fuck? Maybe you need like...viagra or something.(No offense)
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#16
2007-06-16, 19:16 |
moby_dick
Regular
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Warplay3r
Oh my God, like what the fuck? Maybe you need like...viagra or something.(No offense)
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Viagra doesn't work on girls. That's offensive to you because it's such bollocks.
To the OP, it's obviously not your fault, it's just a problem she has. It'll probably change as she gets older, but in the meantime do everything you can to help her get off...I dunno, role-play or something. :D |
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#17
2007-06-16, 19:22 |
heroic harlequin
Regular
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
I'd advocate getting her to have maybe just a shot of a spirit and then lots of chocolate before se. this often makes girls happy and relaxed. Good quality (therefore invariably expensive chocolate) works best.
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#18
2007-06-16, 19:39 |
MrKite
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
I think it sounds like it probably isn't to do with you... it's just harder for some girls than others (especially younger girls... of course I don't know how old she is.) I think you need to encourage her to perhaps spend a bit more time doing it solo (without the pressure of needing to orgasm). I know some people aren't into toys, but I'd seriously recommend a vibrator if she doesnt already have one, especially one designed to hit the G-spot. Once she's figured out EXACTLY what she needs to get there, it'll be a hell of a lot easier for her to tell you!
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#19
2007-06-16, 21:50 |
SephirothAngelus
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
It's probably something mental.
Make sure you cuddle a LOT afterwards and make her feel good about what happens. If she feels crappy about sex, next time she's less likely to orgasm because she'll have that horrible used-slutty feeling. The cuddling and such is called aftercare.
I suggest you try toys also.
SSRI's can make your brain shut down sexually. The damage is usually not irreparable but you're going to have to really work with her to bring her sexuality out.
Try to get her to let go a little bit and stop thinking, and just do what she feels.
My REAL suggestions start here:
I know of women who had never had an orgasm until they started practicing BDSM. Ask her if she'd be willing to try it. If she says yes, read up on it A LOT.
I mean a lot, spend about 20+ hours reading EVERYTHING you can about BDSM, D/s, SM, sub-space, dom space, aftercare, safe play, etc. Read a couple books, namely "Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns" and "SM:101"
possibly "Come Hither" also... http://www.amazon.com/Great-books-for-BDSM-beginners/lm/1M4T297MRWOXJ
One you've done that, and you're pretty experienced, you will know what to do. You'll talk to her about her limits, find out what they are, and start playing.
If she is cool with BDSM, and it ends up turning her on, I can almost guarantee that she's going to be having a few orgasms pretty soon.
:D I'm a collared slave, I should know.
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#20
2007-06-16, 21:51 |
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
A lot of women are just too inhibited to cum, or just won't let themselves get there.
The same thing happens with my girlfriend. She gets there, and she's about to go over the hump, but she gets a sensation like she has to pee and then she kind of closes down. I try to tell her to let loose, that it's ok, but she can't seem to get past it. She's been with 7 guys, and not one was able to get her over the hump.
Some girls orgasm at the drop of a hat, some will go their whole lives and never be able to. Just like some guys have a 24/7 hardon, while others are impotent.
Don't let it get you down man, just keep laying it to her. Even though my girl doesn't orgasm, she stills craves sex 24/7.
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#21
2007-06-16, 22:04 |
SephirothAngelus
Regular
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
A lot of women are just too inhibited to cum, or just won't let themselves get there.
Don't let it get you down man, just keep laying it to her. Even though my girl doesn't orgasm, she stills craves sex 24/7.
Point number 1, is correct. Inhibitions need to be let go of for good sex to work.
Point number 2, is because she never fucking gets off!! Do you know what it feels like to be an incredibly horny woman that cannot come? My Mistress has denied me orgasm before and that sucks, I can't imagine it for days months or years.
I'm telling you, the answer to all of your problems is BDSM.
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#22
2007-06-16, 22:09 |
SephirothAngelus
Regular
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
For everyones convenience, here are some basic starting points.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bdsm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D/s
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subspace_%28BDSM%29
http://everything2.com/index.pl
This site has some good info:
http://www.leathernroses.com/lnrhome.htm
and this site here is a very good reference, I'd read the whole thing if I were you.
http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/BDSMinfo/the_basics.htm
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#23
2007-06-16, 23:43 |
not marshmallow
Regular
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by SephirothAngelus
It's probably something mental.
Make sure you cuddle a LOT afterwards and make her feel good about what happens. If she feels crappy about sex, next time she's less likely to orgasm because she'll have that horrible used-slutty feeling. The cuddling and such is called aftercare.
I suggest you try toys also.
SSRI's can make your brain shut down sexually. The damage is usually not irreparable but you're going to have to really work with her to bring her sexuality out.
Try to get her to let go a little bit and stop thinking, and just do what she feels.
My REAL suggestions start here:
I know of women who had never had an orgasm until they started practicing BDSM. Ask her if she'd be willing to try it. If she says yes, read up on it A LOT.
I mean a lot, spend about 20+ hours reading EVERYTHING you can about BDSM, D/s, SM, sub-space, dom space, aftercare, safe play, etc. Read a couple books, namely "Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns" and "SM:101"
possibly "Come Hither" also... http://www.amazon.com/Great-books-for-BDSM-beginners/lm/1M4T297MRWOXJ
One you've done that, and you're pretty experienced, you will know what to do. You'll talk to her about her limits, find out what they are, and start playing.
If she is cool with BDSM, and it ends up turning her on, I can almost guarantee that she's going to be having a few orgasms pretty soon.
:D I'm a collared slave, I should know.
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lol thanks for the advice but I'm positive she wouldn't be interested in that and I can't say that I am either. As I said earlier, we're comfortable around each other and I don't need to be lectured on cuddling because I do and like it.
I think my girlfriend might be pretty much twins with OpiateSeclorum868's. She does love having sex with me and doesn't mind that she can't orgasm. She says after a while it just starts to hurt. No matter what I'm doing, if I'm eating her out or penetrating. |
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#24
2007-06-17, 04:32 |
Dumboy
Regular
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
Try some foreplay.
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#25
2007-06-17, 04:41 |
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
Did anyone even read the OP's first post?!? She can't do it herself! I'm sorry, but if she can't get herself off, it's unlikely any amount of foreplay or different techniques will do it. I'd suggest getting her to try more often by herself until she finds something she likes. Read up on the g-spot together and she if she can't find hers. Then, she'll be able to show you what works for her. Either way, it's def not you if she can't do it herself.
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#26
2007-06-17, 05:06 |
smokeymcpot420 2
Regular
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
Go in at an angle, put her right leg up over you.
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#27
2007-06-17, 05:18 |
deathDiver
Regular
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
mean a lot, spend about 20+ hours reading EVERYTHING you can about BDSM, D/s, SM, sub-space, dom space, aftercare, safe play, etc. Read a couple books, namely "Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns" and "SM:101"
:D I'm a collared slave, I should know.
good books..i have them in my collection. I would also like to add http://www.domsubnation.com They have some good info as well.
I never had a Person who did not have an orgasm play with me though. however some girls may not be in to the pain game. You can try some light bondage or something and slowly build up to the idea. It's also a matter of personal ideas. There is no set rules on what D/s or BDSM is. It's what you feel safe with.
wow...your master lets you on totse...and she is not worried about what all the 13 year olds can do to your brain? nice
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#28
2007-06-17, 06:29 |
neX
Regular
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
As far as the SSRI's are concerned by gf has been taking them for a little over a year now and i manage to make her cum at least twice every time we fuck... so yeah. I rule.
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#29
2007-06-17, 06:59 |
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
I used to have this same problem.. I guess, I just didn't know how to get myself off when I was younger.. Having sex didn't do it, masturbation didn't do it.. Nothing would..
One day, I was straddling my boyfriend, HOZ, and just sort of rubbing his head up and down my slit.. I was doing this for a while, not really getting a whole lot of enjoyment from it. I was just dragging it back and forth across my clit. Then out of no where, I was hit with an orgasm. It was terribly confusing because I wasn't expecting it. But after that, I knew how to do it. I tried it with my fingers and was successful.. During sex, I was on top to ensure the stimulation to my clit, and orgasms ensued..
My suggestion: Focus primarily on her clit. Don't be too rough.. As a matter of fact, I recommend you be fairly gentle until you know what works.. Maybe use your tongue and go back and forth gently, nothing fancy.. Use your thumb to gently rub it..
It may take some time, but I'm fairly positive that this will help..
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#30
2007-06-17, 08:17 |
Flock
Regular
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
I'm telling you, the answer to all of your problems is BDSM.
I like totse for this.. there are lots of twisted sexual beings like myself who I can relate to. I've heard all sorts of amazing things about training people (mostly women) to orgasm on demand. A lot of it is about the mind, of course, and the denial and release thing sounds like it can work wonders for a girl, besides being utterly sexy, and a delicious form of control.
I can orgasm decently, but I'm a very fussy person, it takes me far too long, and I tend to be left frustrated and cross. In a way, if I became somebody's sub, I can imagine myself becoming far more at ease with the whole thing; handing my ability to climax over to someone else, etc. would probably expand my horizons.
I hope that makes t3h senz0rs, I was late to bed!
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#31
2007-06-17, 13:16 |
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
you must find the clitours
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#32
2007-06-17, 13:33 |
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
This has been discussed here a few times before, the sad fact is that there's people out there who simply cannot orgasm, there's a medical reason, and there's ways of treating it, I've been with girls before who've never been able to before in their lives, and one day it just clicks and afterwards, it's easy. Keep trying :)
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#33
2007-06-18, 04:14 |
SephirothAngelus
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
wow...your master lets you on totse...and she is not worried about what all the 13 year olds can do to your brain? nice
I have a Mistress, not a master. Master is a male.
I'm 20 years old, and pretty intelligent. She's pretty sure that random totse kids are not going to fuck with my brain. I've been here since '02 and I don't think anything I've read here has boggled my mind, sans the innate ability of this site to harbor the most moronic of folk as well as those blessed with intelligence.
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#34
2007-06-18, 05:55 |
Nwalmaer
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
lol thanks for the advice but I'm positive she wouldn't be interested in that and I can't say that I am either. As I said earlier, we're comfortable around each other and I don't need to be lectured on cuddling because I do and like it.
I think my girlfriend might be pretty much twins with OpiateSeclorum868's. She does love having sex with me and doesn't mind that she can't orgasm. She says after a while it just starts to hurt. No matter what I'm doing, if I'm eating her out or penetrating.
Sounds like the problem lays in your approach
Try acting outside Your usual approach
The way you talk sounds like your really comfertable around her probly a bit of a sweetheart for her sort of thing right.
Probly real caring sensitive to her while your getting it on.
No one says this is a bad thing
But just once try a new approach behave different and really make a go of it be confident this will work to or it wont
People read the subtle differences in you without even relising and that will affect her So your gotta beleave your the shit
Dont worry about making her cum because you know thats gonna happen
Remember sometimes a girl just wants to be fucked like a lil whore (and im pretty sure she wouldnt mention that)
ps im not saying to be an asshole
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#35
2007-06-18, 13:50 |
Maggotote
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
She's been fingered by 4 other guys and they weren't able to give her an orgasm either. (
..........................................
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#36
2007-06-19, 00:04 |
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
when she tries it herself she can't do it either. :(
Don't feel bad. If she can't do it, there's no way you can.
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#37
2007-06-21, 04:47 |
Psionicist
Regular
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Re: Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
dude...
http://tinyurl.com/y9p498
It is entertaining as hell, has some interesting ideas and, if all else fails, a recipe for gingerbread cookies!
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Girlfriend has never had an orgasm.
