Need a bit of help.

I need to get into someone's house.
They have some of my belongings but are refusing to give them back (and they've threatened to call the police if they so much as see me; the police would definitely arrest me as I'm on bail conditions not to go near this person due to him lying through his teeth, but that's a whole other story).

I just want to get in to collect my stuff, and get out again before he comes home from work. How would I do it?

I'd definitely be seen if I went in through the front so that's a no-no, the back door rattles so it's obviously loose in the frame or something; someone's also tried to pry it open at some point too as there are chips and dents in the door & frame, near the lock.
I'm female and quite slim, as well as being really wussy when it comes to pain; so shouldering/kicking the back door in wouldn't be an option, there's also a hole where the cat flap has been taken out, almost large enough for a person to crawl through, but it'd need widening by another 2inches or so all the way round for me to fit through.

He's got UPVC windows with good locks upstairs and downstairs so they're impossible to get through, and he never leaves any of his doors and windows unlocked.

I need to get in there QUIETLY and without him ever knowing I've been in there, as if he suspects anything the first person he'll blame is me.

I plan to go over there tonight, he gets back from work at half past midnight & I need to go over there when it's dark, to avoid being seen.

Any ideas on how to get in there quietly and quickly, to get my stuff and be out before he gets home, without leaving any trace of me ever being there?

Please reply asap, thanks.

PS - I think it's a Mortise Lock on the back door by the way, it looks a bit like this: http://www.sz-wholesale.com/uploadFi...325102137s.jpg

You're out on bail. Don't do it.

They'll fuck your shit up good if you get busted.

-If it's one of those crappy,thin metal door (with a layer of caulk inbetween),use a really good boxcutter to widen that hole.

If not,you could cut the windows.

If it's not very valuable stuff, burn his house down.

Pick the lock. I believe in you!

Use your vagina for style points.

Seriously though, forget about it. Women are too dumb for crime, and if he catches you in his house he'll have legal justification to beat the shit out of you/kill you depending on the state. Besides, you can have the cops escort you in to get your stuff.

Firstly, please don't be a sexist, I DO NOT respect that. I dont care if you give a fuck or not, it's not right. Secondly, to the ileiana or whatever, I believe you should purchase a high quailty lockpick. I need more information, like does he have a deadbolt on his back door or something? But, dont make too much noise while getting into the backdoor, it could lead to you in jail. Picklock it and you should be in.

If you don't care if I care why did you write that?

I don't care, by the way.

You could try a bump key, but it's not guaranteed to work.. Since you obviously have no experience with a pick set, it'd be easier and faster than one.

Besides, why be dumb out on bail? Get the cops to escort you over and make him fork your shit over. If he doesn't, they get a warrant and arrest his ass.

What a surprise that a bitch that's dumb enough to be offended is dumb enough to suggest a "high quality lockpick" and uses "picklock" as a verb.

Err...yeah. Ok well anyway, my case keeps getting adjourned so I'm going to be on bail forever at this rate. I want my stuff back asap and he's being a prick, just telling me to fuck off everytime he sees me. His area's pretty quiet and no one's noticed me around before, so I don't think I'd get caught if I'm careful. (oh, better add this is all fictional by the way. Disclaimer and all that).

To whoever asked, it's a wooden door and the bottom panel (where the hole is) is is only like a thin plywood; maybe 2 layers of plywood but I'm not totally sure).

I have no ideas on how to do anything criminal so yes it's a stupid idea to try it, but A - he's fucked me over badly so kind of want my revenge and B - I really do need this stuff. I can't see the police escorting me over there as my bail includes a condition to stay out of that area (although that was my own suggestion).

I know exactly what time he gets home and it's late - after midnight - plenty of ways I can get out of there quickly but I just need a way in.

Thought the easiest way would be to take a hacksaw and widen the hole in the door, but I'd rather do something quicker and quieter.

Any ideas?

that lock you posted looks like it belongs in a jail

So you're saying impossible to get through?

Most doors have them round here...

This is pretty much the lock he has on the door - a similar type anyway! Is it a mortise lock?

http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x220/ileana82/lock.jpg

if its exactly that kind of lock that uses that kind of key you can pick it , those are warded locks. if the key way doesn't look like that then its probably a pin tumbler which you can still pick.

do you know who makes the lock/what kind it is

No...I know he changed the locks when I was with him but he just bought them from a local hardware shop (not sure where exactly). I could go to the shop and find out, but seeing as that would involve being there in the daylight and my BC say to stay out of the area, I'd rather not risk it.

Its a similar type of key (as in, not a yale key or anything like that), but they're smaller than that key (shorter and slightly thicker is all I know!) and have a weird 'end' (the part that goes into the lock) - cant really describe it

Can you tell I've never done this sort of thing before! Pretty sure I wouldn't be able to pick a lock, either...

Hang on, you said if the keyway doens't look like the one in the picture...the keyway is the part the key goes into, right?
Well yes, it looks llike that - keyhole shaped! Sorry if I'm being thick here and that's not what you meant.

lol i think you need something like this some kind of tools that look like that, otherwise brute force is your only option.

why don't you just break in there when he's not there?

Because he'd assume it was me (he hates me and accuses me of everything that goes wrong for him!), then I'd probably get arrested again.

And brute force isn't really my forte

Hire someone to do it for you?

I don't have the money, and can't risk it being traced back to me. Plus I want to do this as soon as I can (was thinking tonight or tomorrow) so i don't really have time to go hunting for tools, buyuing stuff and hiring people.

My dad's got a toolbox with plenty of stuff in it including electric shit, but thats as far as it goes.

So...no one has anymore ideas how to get in?

Is it possible to make a bump key or pick the lock - wihtout already having or buying lock picks?

Can you make a pick?

Why haven't you listened to the more reasonable people here and gone to the cops to get your stuff back? BY LAW he must return your possessions.

You could also "hire" some friends to get the stuff back, but make sure they won't rat you out if busted, because B&E and theft is no joke.

Use ninja rocks to quickly and silently break the windows.

Ninja rocks = the porcelain from a broken spark plug

i thought that too but the sound of glass falling down is pretty loud too.

I know this is bad ideas, but just tell the police that he has your things.

2 words.

bump key.

look on youtube, etc. for examples.

we all know there are no women on the internet. they simply are not intelligent enough to figure computers out, and are in any case only interested in money and sex, although probably only the latter to obtain the former.

I don't think the glass that you get in houses will be the same as the glass that are used in cars.

Isn't the glass used in cars tempered? When you throw your porcelain shard(s) at the car window, the window will spiderweb and fracture, and you push it in with your hands somewhat.

I doubt it'll be the same story with a house's windows.

I may be wrong.

We need pics to adequately advise you on a suggested coarse of action. =p

nekkid pics

I'm sorry, I was rereading this shit in a quote and it was just TOO much.

What type of limp dicked tools are you used to hanging around tom girl that you think anyone gives a shit what you "respect"? Is this the point your try hard friends wring their hands and say they're sorry?

FUCK! It's SO FUNNY when little kittens think they have claws! I think it just gets you wet to get told to STFU!

What's the matter? Mommy and daddy got a divorce? Or does daddy work too much?

Need to use drugs to get over the fact that you weren't daddy's little princess and your childhood wasn't a fairy tale?

What are you 16? I bet you found totse while googling how to shoplift clothes from Ross.

My suggestion? Turn back now before you're sleeping with coke dealer's and having cat fights over deals gone sour. It's pathetic to watch, and one more STD statistic.

You're the type who get's sent to rehab after their pill-popping, bible thumping, slut of a mother catches them smoking pot with their "rebelious" boyfriend.

If he's from the suburbs, and he's got piercings: He's a poser who would get his ass kicked in a fight with anyone who was too busy working to stare at themselves in the mirror. But then again, you're a perfect match, because rebellion boy has mommy issues.