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| Sex and Affection Anything and everything about sex and relations. Please try to keep this forum on-topic, since things tend to wander a bit. Search through old topics before posting a new one, as questions get repeated a lot here. |
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#1
 2007-05-07, 14:28 |
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Moderator
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dodging the rain and tractors
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 Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
My youngest offsprung had his prom the other night (sweeping tide of americanisation be damned, this ISN'T your 53 rd State).
He was dancing with a girl he's quite friendly with (ie they haven't shagged... yet).
Some kid next to him kept bumping into him on purpose and even jabbing him in the ribs with his elbow.
Soooo
My son was telling me about this today, while having a fag with his dear Ol' Dad outside:
Son: "so anyway Dad I'd had enough, turned round and did that open Palm kungfu shit you showed me"
(Hard to explain but basically if you put the back of both hands onto someones chest and then turn them around to palm side down fast then they will go flying ...literally leave the ground if you get it right.)
Son: "worked a treat, his feet left the ground and he flew back and smashed into the tables. Everyone was like W-T-F??!"
Me: " Its a good move, that's true. Looks dead impressive, people see you do it and they assume you're some kinda kungfu master 'specially if you try and look all tai chi like when you do it"
Son: *nods sagely while receiving paternal wisdom*
Me:"Bet it didn't do your chances with the girl any 'arm neither...women like an 'int of violence in a man". *in 'daddy knows best' tone of voice*
Son: "actually Dad she thought i was a jerk and walked off"
ooOOOps
:(
Only the Pope is infallible, people.
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#2
2007-05-07, 15:10 |
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
based on what you've told us of your son, i don't think he's crushed by the girl walking away.
that is a neat little trick you taught him, regardless.
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#3
2007-05-07, 15:27 |
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
The response was overkill.
There are better ways to deal with it. Or at least lead up to it.
Violence, unless needed, is not such a wonderful thing.
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#4
2007-05-07, 15:40 |
Rocko 
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Your kid is on the right track.
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#5
2007-05-07, 15:41 |
SnapShot
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Well, I can see several points where your advice might have been, err... not so useful. First of all, unlike a 'real' highschool fight, where one's objective is to beat the piss out of the other guy as quickly and quietly as possible, in the case of prom fights you need a 'round of talks', even if only to warn people (who may be dancing/fucking/whatever) that there will be violence in the immediate future. It also helps if you try to present yourself as the 'voice of reason' and paint the other bloke as a complete twat. After the talking/shouting ends, feel free to mop the floor with the cretin.
Secondly, you say:
"women like an 'int of violence in a man".
Operative word here: women. Not confused young girls. Though I should say this advice will be spot on if he manages to hitch up with a 33-y.o. hottie.
Oh, and I've never pictured you as the Sophie Ellis Bextor-listening type. :D
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#6
2007-05-07, 15:43 |
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Moderator
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
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Originally Posted by Euda
The response was overkill.
There are better ways to deal with it. Or at least lead up to it.
Violence, unless needed, is not such a wonderful thing.
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True, true. I agree but this is Norfolk (the original one) and even if the girls here are 'multi-pack-anal floss knickers wearing-candidates for a teenage pregnancy' feelings do tend to run high....
especially if said guuUrl ain't related by blood to you (a rare catch)! |
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#7
2007-05-07, 16:23 |
Isobutane
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
which son is this? do you have two or three?
quick guide to your sons plz
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#8
2007-05-07, 16:29 |
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
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Originally Posted by Isobutane
which son is this? do you have two or three?
quick guide to your sons plz
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3 sons 18/17/16.
Eldest has just left home 'kinda sorta', middle son is a cripple and youngest is now so large he drags small planets in his gravitational wake. |
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#9
2007-05-07, 16:40 |
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Violence does get tiresome sometimes.
She was probably embarassed that everyone was looking at her.
'Prom' ? what the fucking fuck?
It was bad enough when I left school, all the popular kids hired limos because obviously hiring a car for half an hour that you'll never be able to afford makes you the best.
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#10
2007-05-07, 17:00 |
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
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Originally Posted by yoyobek
Violence does get tiresome sometimes.
She was probably embarassed that everyone was looking at her.
'Prom' ? what the fucking fuck?
It was bad enough when I left school, all the popular kids hired limos because obviously hiring a car for half an hour that you'll never be able to afford makes you the best.
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UNCANNY! (http://tinyurl.com/38cyco) , yes he and some mates did indeed hire a limo and caned the minibar on the way up.
Apparently somebody turned up in a Kenworth , which shows some style at least. |
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#11
2007-05-07, 17:23 |
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OPS 2A building 688-6911(b)
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Oh god... i've got my prom in 2 months.
I dont think im guna go, just get some alcohol, get hammered and pass out on a park bench. Maybe crash the prom at some point too.
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#12
2007-05-07, 18:20 |
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
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Originally Posted by reject
Oh god... i've got my prom in 2 months.
I dont think im guna go, just get some alcohol, get hammered and pass out on a park bench. Maybe crash the prom at some point too.
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Just go. |
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#13
2007-05-07, 18:38 |
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OPS 2A building 688-6911(b)
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Just go.
What, and pay 12 quid for a ticket, and then even more to hire out a tux, fuck that, I can buy some alcohol, weed and maybe some E and have an awesome night in a park with mates.
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#14
2007-05-07, 18:41 |
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Lawl.
All in all, it makes for a good story.
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#15
2007-05-07, 18:48 |
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
What, and pay 12 quid for a ticket, and then even more to hire out a tux, fuck that, I can buy some alcohol, weed and maybe some E and have an awesome night in a park with mates.
Only £12???
My son's cost £17 + £30 for the limo there and £10 for the taxi back + the condom and beer money I gave him...
I could have got anew battery for my laptop and several packs of Fablous Bakin Boys TRIPLE Chocolate Cup Cakes!!
*edit i forgot the £20 for a jacket and the £20 for a new pair of shoes, so intotal the better part of $200 :(
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#16
2007-05-07, 18:49 |
Mr.J
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
^^ i can see your dilema with that one
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#17
2007-05-07, 19:13 |
H4T3
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
On prom night I paid the upside of $300, got a limo, a tux, and three dates. However, the dates I got were largely because my own date left me at prom for another girl.
So, prom, huh?
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#18
2007-05-07, 19:14 |
H4T3
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
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Originally Posted by H4T3
On prom night I paid the upside of $300, got a limo, a tux, and three dates. However, the dates I got were largely because my own date left me at prom for another girl.
So, prom, huh?
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Owned, haha. What a fag. |
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#19
2007-05-07, 19:24 |
Flock
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Hmm.. our college prom will be coming up.
I have no hope of getting any women.. I'll just go because dressing up turns me on. I spend like £5-£7 on the average club night (sometimes less if I'm already drunk by the time I get out), so it's not like I'd be willing to spend more on a college event.
Sounds like a neat fighting trick.. might have to practice some time. Does it require strong wrists or anything?
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#20
2007-05-07, 20:17 |
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Only 12 quid!?!
At my secondary school the prom was 30 or so quid, and in a year when I leave my 6th form college the tickets are 40 quid!>!?!?!
That said proms aren't really my thang the after party is my shizzle. 40 quid could go nicely on green and coke. :-D
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#21
2007-05-07, 20:40 |
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OPS 2A building 688-6911(b)
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Only £12???
several packs of Fablous Bakin Boys TRIPLE Chocolate Cup Cakes!!
They're real nice cakes XD
But yeah, plus I have no one to go with, and it'll be loads of chavs, and I can't look smart to save my life. So im not going. I might actually if I can find a date as my mum offered to pay for me.
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#22
2007-05-07, 20:55 |
rinseandrepeat()
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Yup, farkin nice cakes.
Mines £35, and fortunately none of my mates are going to bother with a DJ (we all have suits anyway from interviews or whatever) , so it wont be much more than around £50 (no chance of a limo, i live about 10 miles from school :P
Not sure if I can be bothered to go though, theres some fucking socially failing part of me telling me not to go for some reason :/. It feels like such a geek stereotype, but I really dont know why I cant find the stones to go to a fucking party, which you go to to enjoy.
meh, ill see if I can find the cash I guess, and tell that part of my brain to stfu, as i know I'll regret it as I look at the photos on facebook of all my mates having fun if I dont go. Most people (in my social group anyway) havent got dates so theres no issue with the social stigma of going without one.
Ill probably end up sitting in the corner quietly though, or chatting to the sound / light tech , or making sad nerdy jokes with my friends.
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#23
2007-05-07, 20:56 |
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Jesus christ, I had to paid $500 for a shitty tux (The tux place was such a rip off) and the ticket costs $60. I ended up not going to after prom because my girlfriend wasn't feeling too good.
No sex either....I just went to prom for NOTHING!
Not to mention, that leeching bitch broke me up in couple of days.
Never go to prom ever again.
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#24
2007-05-07, 21:35 |
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Moderator
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Sounds like a neat fighting trick.. might have to practice some time. Does it require strong wrists or anything?
Its only use is really to create space or put someone off balance. Although in the hands of an expert it can do some serious damage. No it doesn't require strong wrists or physical strength, but there's a knack to it and it does require a bit of practice.
First time I ever tried it I nearly killed my brother. No joke, we were on the balcony of my apartment, 10 floors up and he went back so far and hard he damn near went over the guard rail..oooOOps...
Like of most moves of 'internal' or 'soft' kung fu it relies on a conscious myoclonic twitch (never believe all that 'chi' BS).
Sorry, here endeth the lecture on martial arts.
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#25
2007-05-07, 21:37 |
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OPS 2A building 688-6911(b)
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Jack, can you somehow teach me this move via the internet? It sounds useful/pretty cool.
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#26
2007-05-07, 23:52 |
Rocko
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Nigga please, I am NOT spending $200-$500 on a fuckin dance...
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#27
2007-05-08, 00:14 |
StealthyRacoons
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Quote:
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Originally Posted by jackketch
My youngest offsprung had his prom the other night (sweeping tide of americanisation be damned, this ISN'T your 53 rd State).
He was dancing with a girl he's quite friendly with (ie they haven't shagged... yet).
Some kid next to him kept bumping into him on purpose and even jabbing him in the ribs with his elbow.
Soooo
My son was telling me about this today, while having a fag with his dear Ol' Dad outside:
Son: "so anyway Dad I'd had enough, turned round and did that open Palm kungfu shit you showed me"
(Hard to explain but basically if you put the back of both hands onto someones chest and then turn them around to palm side down fast then they will go flying ...literally leave the ground if you get it right.)
Son: "worked a treat, his feet left the ground and he flew back and smashed into the tables. Everyone was like W-T-F??!"
Me: " Its a good move, that's true. Looks dead impressive, people see you do it and they assume you're some kinda kungfu master 'specially if you try and look all tai chi like when you do it"
Son: *nods sagely while receiving paternal wisdom*
Me:"Bet it didn't do your chances with the girl any 'arm neither...women like an 'int of violence in a man". *in 'daddy knows best' tone of voice*
Son: "actually Dad she thought i was a jerk and walked off"
ooOOOps
:(
Only the Pope is infallible, people.
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raised fine son there. Don't let him take shit from nobody. |
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#28
2007-05-08, 00:24 |
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Wait so why was that kid bumping and elbowing your son in the first place?
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#29
2007-05-08, 02:48 |
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Lawl, funny on so many different levels ;)
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#30
2007-05-08, 08:28 |
TheParkinator
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Girl was a bitch.
I would have decked that kid too.
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#31
2007-05-08, 09:43 |
XHippie HunterX
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
heh, just shoulda hit the other guy harder. That woulda impressed her. Or screamed, "stop raping my date with your eyes? are those ruffies!?!?!" and then hit him...
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#32
2007-05-08, 10:07 |
ZeroMalarki
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Euda
The response was overkill.
There are better ways to deal with it. Or at least lead up to it.
Violence, unless needed, is not such a wonderful thing.
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QFT, suprised its Euda.
Jack, I woulda taken the girls hand and sort of leaned into whisper to go somewhere else on dance floor. Then if the guy followed asked him to stop being a dick. |
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#33
2007-05-08, 10:29 |
Isobutane
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
They're real nice cakes XD
But yeah, plus I have no one to go with, and it'll be loads of chavs, and I can't look smart to save my life. So im not going. I might actually if I can find a date as my mum offered to pay for me.
i'll go with you :) i'm not getting prom this year, because the entire year went to war over it, and when 100 slutty, vain, middle class grammar school girls go to war.. they go to war.
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#34
2007-05-08, 16:05 |
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OPS 2A building 688-6911(b)
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
i'll go with you :)
Woooooooooooooooooooooo!
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#35
2007-05-08, 16:19 |
Mr. Stabby
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Woooooooooooooooooooooo!
It's funny becuase i can tell that actually made you happy.
I don't know, i might have a date if/when i have a prom. If so ii'll go, but it would suck to go alone. My freinds would be in all the various closets and i would be sitting there being bored and shit. It's been nearly a month, i think i need a new girlfreind.
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#36
2007-05-08, 16:44 |
Mr.Happy
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Overkill it may have been, but at least nobody's going to be elbowing your son on the dancefloor in a hurry. You taught him to kick ass, hopefully getting ditched by his date will teach him to show moderation :p
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#37
2007-05-08, 16:45 |
SyncMaster763
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Only £12???
My son's cost £17 + £30 for the limo there and £10 for the taxi back + the condom and beer money I gave him...
I could have got anew battery for my laptop and several packs of Fablous Bakin Boys TRIPLE Chocolate Cup Cakes!!
*edit i forgot the £20 for a jacket and the £20 for a new pair of shoes, so intotal the better part of $200 :(
Damnnnn that so much cheaper than the USA. When I went to prom tickets were at least 50 a person, post prom which was pretty much a must was 35, tux was 100 plus dinner plus drinks etc.
Hm, now that I'm typing it all out it doesn't seem all that much more expensive haha.
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#38
2007-05-08, 16:56 |
LiquidIce
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Good thread, many lulz. Also, the uh, attack thingy sounds neat, gotta try it somehow, somewhere.
And sounds like the girl was the jerk, although girls seem not to like things like overkill... Id yell something like "SPAAAARTAAA!" or "HEADSHOT!", but Id only be understood by a few other people.
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#39
2007-05-08, 17:09 |
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OPS 2A building 688-6911(b)
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
It's funny becuase i can tell that actually made you happy.
Lol... and?
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#40
2007-05-08, 17:18 |
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Moderator
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Damnnnn that so much cheaper than the USA. When I went to prom tickets were at least 50 a person, post prom which was pretty much a must was 35, tux was 100 plus dinner plus drinks etc.
Hm, now that I'm typing it all out it doesn't seem all that much more expensive haha.
For something that is simply the latest yank fad its more than expensive enough.
When I left school there was none of this transatlantic colonial crap.
The way I celebrated leaving school, was I walked out of school with a mate, we went into his garden, lite the bonfire. We chucked in our ties and all our school books and exam certs then had a stiff drink.
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#41
2007-05-08, 17:22 |
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Obviously he needs to pull that shit on her  |
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#42
2007-05-08, 17:47 |
rocker
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Huh! we never even had a school dance, after I finished my last exams a month before school broke up there wasn't much point going back in so everyone kinda finished at different times. Twas sad really it would have been nice to have had a big formal bash at the end, get teary eyed, pissed, kiss all your buds cheerio! and if your lucky get shagged silly by someone you would rather forget about behind the gym.
Happy daze I think.
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#43
2007-05-08, 20:49 |
NiGhT PrOwLeR
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Jizzmeister
Only 12 quid!?!
At my secondary school the prom was 30 or so quid, and in a year when I leave my 6th form college the tickets are 40 quid!>!?!?!
That said proms aren't really my thang the after party is my shizzle. 40 quid could go nicely on green and coke. :-D
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My prom is gonna cost over $200 just for a TICKET! |
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#44
2007-05-10, 19:03 |
Bean_Doodle
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Cmon Jack...
You know that the High School misfits of &T are your fourth kid!
Teach us that move!
We needs it.
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#45
2007-05-10, 19:11 |
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Quote:
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Originally Posted by H4T3
On prom night I paid the upside of $300, got a limo, a tux, and three dates. However, the dates I got were largely because my own date left me at prom for another girl.
So, prom, huh?
Owned, haha. What a fag.
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Why did you quote yourself and say that? |
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#46
2007-05-11, 08:47 |
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Queensland Australia
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
..and youngest is now so large he drags small planets in his gravitational wake.
Lol, that's not very nice ;). Obsessive eater or does it run in the family?
__________________
Jesus
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#47
2007-05-11, 08:53 |
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Moderator
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
Lol, that's not very nice ;). Obsessive eater or does it run in the family?
__________________
Jesus
He's simply picked up my paternal genes. At 6ft I'm one of the smallest men in my genetic line. We're also very broad across the shoulders.
My other kids have all taken after their mother and are 'runts'.
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#48
2007-05-11, 10:18 |
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Queensland Australia
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Re: Jackketch Gets It Wrong or 'Murder On The Dance Floor' (WARNING: a 'my kid' thread)
He's simply picked up my paternal genes. At 6ft I'm one of the smallest men in my genetic line. We're also very broad across the shoulders.
My other kids have all taken after their mother and are 'runts'.
Pics?
__________________
Jesus
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