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| My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged. |
# 1
2007-04-22, 19:08
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Regular
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blackpoollancashireengland
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1 Question To God
if u met god and had only one question to ask him, what would it be?
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# 2
2007-04-22, 19:14
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Moderator
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: 1 Question To God
Why America?
I mean Lord, wasn't the Earth troubled enough already?
Ha-schem , didst thou truly think that it would be an improvement?
__________________
Eoghan, Samwise gamgee. The truth is out there, people.
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# 3
2007-04-22, 19:38
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Re: 1 Question To God
If he were real, I'd ask him when he was going to say sorry.
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# 4
2007-04-22, 20:08
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Regular
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Join Date: 2006-08-04
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Re: 1 Question To God
I would ask him why im fucking crazy
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# 5
2007-04-22, 20:22
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Re: 1 Question To God
"wtf?"
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#6
2007-04-22, 20:49 |
echodrug 
Regular
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Re: 1 Question To God
You just wasted 80 years of my life.
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#7
2007-04-23, 00:38 |
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Re: 1 Question To God
What the fuck? You can ask God as many questions as you like at any time. You're just too blind to look for an answer.
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#8
2007-04-23, 00:43 |
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Re: 1 Question To God
where did you come from
what did you do before you created humans, and how long did you chill out with your thumb up your ass
why
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#9
2007-04-23, 04:14 |
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Regular
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Napier, New Zealand
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Re: 1 Question To God
"Can you make a rock so heavy, even you can't lift it"
"Why?"
"Can I have more than one question?"
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# 10
2007-04-23, 07:04
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Re: 1 Question To God
God doesnt exist. If he did, id ask him: Whats your life story?
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# 11
2007-04-23, 10:25
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Regular
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Wide womb of uncreated night.
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Re: 1 Question To God
"What the fuck were you thinking?"
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# 12
2007-04-23, 12:20
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Re: 1 Question To God
"Why?"
He'd probably say,
"For the lulz"
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#13
2007-04-23, 15:59 |
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Regular
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Tea and Crumpets country
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Re: 1 Question To God
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Rizzo in a box
What the fuck? You can ask God as many questions as you like at any time. You're just too blind to look for an answer.
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Something like what Rizzo said. |
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#14
2007-04-23, 16:22 |
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Re: 1 Question To God
@Beany - I think the point of this thread is what would you ask the orthodox Christian God if you met him in heaven and could have one question, not interpreting things so that in your head it appears as if it was God giving you an answer, nor some mystical claptrap about all being one so when you ask a question to yourself you're asking God and when you find an answer, it was given by God, which in itself involves nothing but renaming "universe" "God".
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# 15
2007-04-23, 17:25
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Re: 1 Question To God
Quote:
Originally Posted by Winter
God doesnt exist. If he did, id ask him: Whats your life story?
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This is probaly the closest to what I'd ask.
I'd ask God to tell me everything.
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#16
2007-04-23, 19:31 |
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Regular
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Tea and Crumpets country
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Re: 1 Question To God
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Hare_Geist
@Beany - I think the point of this thread is what would you ask the orthodox Christian God if you met him in heaven and could have one question, not interpreting things so that in your head it appears as if it was God giving you an answer, nor some mystical claptrap about all being one so when you ask a question to yourself you're asking God and when you find an answer, it was given by God, which in itself involves nothing but renaming "universe" "God".
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Well I was gonna say "Do you ever get food stuck in your beard?", but I wouldn't wanna dumb myself down for anyone elses sake. |
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#17
2007-04-24, 03:29 |
DieSmokin
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Re: 1 Question To God
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Rizzo in a box
What the fuck? You can ask God as many questions as you like at any time. You're just too blind to look for an answer.
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hahahahah. i dont even feel sorry for religious people anymore. your a waste of flesh faggit. |
# 18
2007-04-25, 23:06
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Moderator
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San Francisco, CA
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Re: 1 Question To God
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop?
__________________
-Goose
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev Ziggy
I should lock this thread out of my respect to music.
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# 19
2007-04-26, 01:57
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Re: 1 Question To God
Who do you meet when you trip?
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# 20
2007-04-26, 02:54
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Re: 1 Question To God
"Do you think more people would believe your story if Christians weren't the ones selling it?"
"Can I read an original copy of the bible - you know, before the church got to it?"
"Whats the deal with born-agains?"
OR
"Which religion was the right one to follow? Cause I didn't follow one, and damned if I ain't talking to you right now! Shit - take that Christians!"
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# 21
2007-04-26, 11:34
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Regular
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bodmin, cornwall, england
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Re: 1 Question To God
"Sup?"
Then I'd realise what i've done, and blasphemy.
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#22
2007-04-26, 19:34 |
SlickTommy
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Re: 1 Question To God
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Rizzo in a box
What the fuck? You can ask God as many questions as you like at any time. You're just too blind to look for an answer.
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QFT, except the first sentence. |
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#23
2007-04-27, 13:03 |
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Re: 1 Question To God
"Why is Rizzo a fag?"
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# 24
2007-04-27, 13:14
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Re: 1 Question To God
sort your formatting out.
Last edited by jackketch; 2007-04-28 at 06:48.
Reason: page stretching (unintended)
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# 25
2007-04-28, 20:04
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Re: 1 Question To God
I would have nothing to say to him.
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# 26
2007-04-28, 21:05
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Re: 1 Question To God
Who the fuck are you to judge me?
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# 27
2007-04-29, 05:26
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Regular
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The little land of Oz
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Re: 1 Question To God
'Was this all your idea of a joke? Becase that's often the impression that I get.'
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#28
2007-04-29, 05:57 |
CreamOfWarholSoup
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Re: 1 Question To God
Is the devil really that bad? I mean, he's supposed to be (or I guess by your definitions, IS) pure evil, but what I've read in books and seen in movies shows he's not all that bad. So tell me, Is our red sock wearing comrade that horrible?
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#29
2007-04-29, 06:09 |
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Regular
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cryptome.org cryptogon.com
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Re: 1 Question To God
You are the Devil.
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#30
2007-04-29, 06:10 |
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Regular
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cryptome.org cryptogon.com
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Re: 1 Question To God
Are you really that bad?
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#31
2007-04-29, 06:24 |
CreamOfWarholSoup
Regular
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Re: 1 Question To God
Are you really that bad?
Sometimes so, though I am occasionally valiant. Would that prove me not the devil? Or would that prove the devil is as human as you or I?
I hold no grudges against God or devil. I can laugh and make idle chatter with either should they choose to personify themselves.
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#32
2007-04-29, 06:51 |
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Regular
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cryptome.org cryptogon.com
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Re: 1 Question To God
But by embracing the Devil you cannot be God, because your happiness will not be eternal, because you will be restricting the happiness of someone else and therefore punishing yourself.
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#33
2007-04-29, 07:07 |
CreamOfWarholSoup
Regular
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Re: 1 Question To God
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Gold n Green
But by embracing the Devil you cannot be God, because your happiness will not be eternal, because you will be restricting the happiness of someone else and therefore punishing yourself.
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But what if I hold neither in a higher position? I keep them as being either good or evil to my neutral.
I'm not harming myself except for when I might follow good that would damage myself to help someone else. Say a boy that could possibly drown in the river. I jump to save him but may die trying. I may ruin my potential but may save his potential which may be lesser,equal, or greater than mine? |
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#34
2007-04-29, 07:21 |
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Regular
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cryptome.org cryptogon.com
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Re: 1 Question To God
If you can't find a higher power you can't find yourself.
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#35
2007-04-29, 07:25 |
CreamOfWarholSoup
Regular
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Re: 1 Question To God
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Gold n Green
If you can't find a higher power you can't find yourself.
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What does luck count as? I figure there is an enormous 'x' element to everything and luck is my higher power. I occasionally give luck offerings of cigarettes and surprisingly enought it comes through. |
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#36
2007-04-29, 08:21 |
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Regular
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cryptome.org cryptogon.com
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Re: 1 Question To God
Sharing cigarettes is a good thing. It's sharing.
Starting small like that is the way to start.
You are making the world a better place.
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#37
2007-04-29, 08:36 |
cac0
Regular
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Re: 1 Question To God
"Butt secks?"
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#38
2007-04-29, 08:38 |
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Regular
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cryptome.org cryptogon.com
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Re: 1 Question To God
But what if there was a feeling infinitely more powerful than any kind of release you can currently feel? Wouldn't you rather strive for that?
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#39
2007-04-29, 08:38 |
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Regular
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cryptome.org cryptogon.com
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Re: 1 Question To God
Nice edit.
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#40
2007-04-30, 03:10 |
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Re: 1 Question To God
If I'm speaking to God because I have died, then I wouldn't care enough about anything to ask a question. Otherwise, I'd ask if there really is a Hell and exactly how far can I push it?
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#41
2007-04-30, 09:26 |
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Regular
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cryptome.org cryptogon.com
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Re: 1 Question To God
What if he told you hell is where you are now?
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#42
2007-04-30, 16:04 |
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Re: 1 Question To God
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Gold n Green
What if he told you hell is where you are now?
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I'd say, "Nyeeah... hell isn't that bad. If I'm already in hell, I might as well start doing all the stuff I shouldn't be doing." |
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#43
2007-04-30, 16:19 |
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Regular
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cryptome.org cryptogon.com
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Re: 1 Question To God
Ahahaha.
You're wrong.
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#44
2007-04-30, 21:40 |
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Regular
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sunny side california
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Re: 1 Question To God
id ask him to tell me all his secrets and the truth about everything.
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# 45
2007-04-30, 23:38
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Regular
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MASS
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Re: 1 Question To God
id ask him where my wallet is
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#46
2007-05-01, 18:15 |
TheMessiahComplex
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Re: 1 Question To God
I've always wanted to know if we can do all the things we're not supposed to do on earth up in heaven.
I can't imagine spending an eternity there and not getting a little action from time to time.
Then again, from what I can tell the bible is pretty vague about what heaven actually is like so who knows.
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#47
2007-05-02, 14:27 |
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Re: 1 Question To God
I wouldnt need to ask as he presumably would already know what was going to be asked.
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# 48
2007-05-02, 19:41
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Re: 1 Question To God
I'll play along.
Out of the major organized religions, which one most closely adheres to your principles?
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# 49
2007-05-04, 13:23
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Re: 1 Question To God
ME: "Can you eat your own face?"
GOD: "uhhhhhh, nooo"
ME: "Haha, imposter, i thought God can do anything!"
GOD: "naaah, im just fukcing with all you little earth peoples lulz"
ME: Kills God by repeatedly stomping on his head.
ME: "IM THE NEW GOD MUTHAFUCKERS!"
ME: "Hmmmm, eternity aye.....sooooo what now?"
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#50
2007-05-04, 19:48 |
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Moderator
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Wasilla, Alaska
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Re: 1 Question To God
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Rizzo in a box
What the fuck? You can ask God as many questions as you like at any time. You're just too blind to look for an answer.
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Agreed.
And most folks are too self-absorbed, superstitious, or fearful to pay attention to the answers that come. |
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#51
2007-05-10, 21:50 |
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Re: 1 Question To God
1. Dont you ever get bored?
2. What do you do for fun?
3. Actually, now that i think about it....what the fuck do you do at all? Seriously, you make all this shit in 7 days and do fuck all for millions of years?! Fuck you.
4. Do you sleep? Are you sleeping now? Are you gonna awake one day and pwn all the jews?
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