If you could change the past with a 5 minute phone call to your past self at one particular time, when would it be and what would you say? Winning lottery numbers and stock information is a given, so mention what else you would say.

I'd call myself about a year ago, and say something like "Hey, arrogant dumbass, since you haven't already noticed, you've forgotten everything you learned in American History and Trigonometry. You're going to fail the SAT 2's if you don't study for them. This could mean many thousands of dollars that you won't have in a few years. Also, freaking talk to *name of a girl*. You won't have any classes with her very soon."

white power

I'd go to an internet casino, play roulette and record the exact time I start, as well as the results, then I'd call my past self with that info and tell him to play.

Imagine that shit.

I'd also tell myself to grab the goddamn progress report before my parents get it.

Buy one of these.
You'll thank me.

All i need is a 20 second call...

Date:02/15/2006
Numbers: 03 13 35 39 40
Powerball#: 37
Power play Multiplier: 5
Jackpot: $300,000,000

quote:

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Originally posted by fire is cool:
Buy one of these.
You'll thank me.

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they don't work. My mirror works better.

whatever you do, do not eat that tasty looking lightbulb!

I'd call myself two years ago, and say, "You don't love her. The feeling isn't even close. She doesn't care, and she'll only hurt you in the end. Someone eventually will love you, and you will be meant for each other. You will feel true love."

Don't forget to wind your watch.

Yeah that's from Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure.

Cheer up, you dumb fuck

Stay relatively thin, not that im super fat, it would be nice tho

"Is your refrigerator running?"

I'd tell myself to stop drinking so much Robo. I'd also make up a bunch of bullshit about how great things have become so my past self would get all happy and actually participate in life.

Max out all your credit cards, buy google when it first hits the stock market, sell at 400$ a share.

PF

I'd call myself about two years ago, and tell me that the guy I was in love with is a total dickhead and I'm better off without him. Then I'd give me some future advice:
"Talk to the Swedish guy, you've got nothing to lose"
"Don't have sex with Jesse"
"On a Saturday night, GO WITH JAI"

Could have saved myself a lot of heart ache and emotional problems now.

Don't do drugs. If you can't listen to that, atleast stay away from oxycontin.

I'm only 4 months clean, but god damn, the 8 months before that were hell. I had an 18 dollar an hour internship (I'm moving next weekend, so I had to quit), but for the 12 grand I earned between January of 05 - Feb of 06 at my real job, and the thousands of bucks I pulled in playing poker to support my addiction, I have nothing. I have an internship at the same place I had one since January of 05 for this summer, but I'm going to stay clean. I've learned my lesson.

I would call myself like a year and a half ago or whatever and be like "DONT LOSE YOUR FUCKING TEMPER ITLL GET YOU IN DEEP SHIT" or I would call myself up like a half year ago and say the same thing...

"Yeah, everything is going great. Shit, I shouldn't of said that, because now I've changed the time line and everything was already going good!" *Time morphs and I become a crazy hobo*

knowing me, i wouldn't have listened to myself. but here's what i would say:

"don't become a bulimic. don't tear your hair out. don't sleep with edward. buy some new clothes. keep doing well in school. and i promise, your boobs will get much bigger eventually."

I'd call myself 4 years ago and say:

"Don't drop out of school. Beat the shit of Brock; it'll be easier than you think. Try reefer; you'll never get any surprise drug tests from mom & dad (they always threatened me with these)."
Then I'd look up 5 or 6 winning powerball numbers and give them to myself.

"Please think before you do that. Making a habit of shoving a toothbrush down your throat to throw up really isnt going to make you a happy person.
And oh, yeah. It turns out he just had tonsilitis. DONT LET HIM GO this time round. Please."

"just kill yourself now"

"Shut up and eat less, it'll be okay..."

"www.totse.com"

"explosives are not toys."

"shoot dominik. now."

"dugs are bad for you, mkay?"

"maybe it's not such a great idea after all, selling HBW's for four times the price to thugs."

"Hey, kill your father now, you're going to be arrested anyway, so kill him now and actually DESERVE to be arrested... plus you'll never have to worry about his fucking queer habbits.

Oh, and ask Brit out man, she kinda digs you too, it could work."

"Watch out for that step"

"Get back in there...and tough it out..."

(and that was just last night...but then...it's almost a daily thing, or so it seems...)

"You should spend more time learning, and cared more about the important stuff"

about a year and a half back: dont go to 9th grade your moving to another country and youll have to repeat it anyways :P

about 7 or 8 months ago: dont bring your weed to school

quote:

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Originally posted by MomentaryLapseOfReason:
I'd call myself two years ago, and say, "You don't love her. The feeling isn't even close. She doesn't care, and she'll only hurt you in the end. Someone eventually will love you, and you will be meant for each other. You will feel true love."

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That but with more cuss words.

I'd sing down the phone something fucked up.

failed attempts have
turned us into
one pathetic twisted wreck
all is eerie, you're standing near me
I feel you breathing down my neck

you don't need to be so shallow
turn your head prepare to follow

deep incision operation
the tortured one becoming two
involuntary, solitary
it's nice to have a point of view

dependency
separate we never will be
attached at the hip to me
separate we never will be
when there's no privacy
separate we'll never be seen
attached at the hip to me
(attached at the hip to me, attached at the hip to me)
a part of my anatomy

you don't need to be so shallow
turn your head prepare to follow

have you ever seen another lying in a pool of blood?

separate we never will be
attached at the hip to me
separate we never will be
when there's no privacy
separate we'll never be seen
attached at the hip to me
(attached at the hip to me, attached at the hip to me)
a part of my anatomy

I would call myself when i was about to move schools.

'Dont fucking move to st nicks, it will be the worst period of your life, the place is fucking infested with arrogant arseholes and bullies. cry and scream if you must, chain yourself to the railings, just DONT MOVE SCHOOLS!'

Either that or id tell myself to carry on going to the gym. I stopped when i was 12, and then got horrendously fat for two years before having a shit time losing it.

El Nino! El Nino!

I'd tell myself to go start hanging out with some people I wish I'd known longer.

"No don't go left, Go Right"

id call myself almost exactly one year back and tell my dumbass to quit ditching school,pay attention in class,fuck your main "friends" and you shoulda pushed just a little harder and got that damn adderal script.

Probably either

''Don't fight that crazy guy, you'll get your ass kicked''

Or

''Don't go to that fucking party, you'll regret it'' (long story)

I'd call myself in 1984 and warn about avoiding an issue at that time. Warn myself about a snitch in 1986 and to invest in Microsoft . . .

I'm guessing most of you reading this weren't even a gleam in your daddy's eye in 1984.

I'd call myself about 3 years ago and slap my past self through the phone. I was such a dumbfuck.

quote:

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Originally posted by Garrett:
"www.totse.com"

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WORD!

I would definately not call myself, what fun is life if you know what is going to happen? Every morning you wake up and have so many things to do! I don't care if it is backpacking to south africa, raping your next door neighbour or bying a bag of candy at the corner store. So much to do, so little time... Seriously, what is stoping you? You are! Thats it!

"Hi, uh, it's... well... look I'm... from- oh forget it, you never take anyone's advice anyway."

The best thing to tell myself, at any time in the past, would probably be "Don't worry about what other people think - they probably don't think what you imagine they do, and if they do they're complete assholes". But I never listen to anyone who tells me things like that.

"stay with her she has money and will become hot!"

or at a different time

"just stick with her for six years, trust me. no stop playing 'dinosaurs dammit "

or at another different time:

"do not buy the v8, you will get banned from it"

I would call myself like when I was 8 years old and tell myself "tell mom and dad you're too f*cking smart for a normal school and that you don't learn how to study there so they need to do something about it because it will save you a SHITLOAD of trouble later. Otherwise you will end up at age 16, not being able to study and not being able to pass without studying."

EDIT: or I would call myself at 07-03-2006 (03-07-2006 for all you who write the date like this, the seventh of march of this year I mean) at 7.02 hour and say "WATH OUT when you cross the street!" (got hit by a car that day).


[This message has been edited by Amos (edited 03-19-2006).]

i would say "WHY THE HELL DID YOU HAVE TO THROW THE BOOKS AT THE TEACHER IN 6TH GRADE"

"Don't buy that sack of marijuana from the beaner kid"