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| Spurious Generalities This is the general discussion and chat forum. People can discuss just about anything they want to in this area, providing it doesn't fit in one of the other forums and provided that it will bring conversation to the thread. |
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#1
 2006-03-18, 00:03 |
captain_kirk 
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 Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
Oh, the irony. The fact that at one point in time I actually considered making that thread, complete with the videos. The brutal, brutal irony. Perhaps I have grown up a little since then, or maybe I haven't. Maybe I've realised things, how terribly entrenched we are in our culture, a culture of degradation associated with women, of one in which violence is so closely associated with sex, where looks are a measure of self worth. A culture in which there are women, girls, human beings so brought down and not even realizing it.
I am very much a part of this culture. Just the other day I was thinking about nihilism and the lack of meaning in our universe and on our planet while I carefully did my mascara. I like so many other young ladies place great importance on being thin. The denial of food is a denial of gluttony; it is something to be proud of, to be valued. Nobody likes a fat chick, right?
At the same time that we call down gluttony and turn our heads in disgust from the fat chicks and sluts and emos we are the fat chicks and sluts and emos. There is a universal need for love and acceptance. Yet stronger than that need is the need for betterment. The need to have a place in the world, a place more important than anybody else�s place.
Some people find that place and it affects them negatively. Others are luckier and find a place where they can flourish and thrive. I had a place that was incredibly positive growing up. I was considered gifted by my parents and teachers and that was recognised. It was what I had and I thrived off of it, but then I realized that being smart wasn't all there was to life. The need for acceptance and friendship, but more than that, the need for sexual attention brought me down. I started rebelling, rebelling at the impossible standards expected of me. The standards put out by the teachers and my parents. My entire life I had been expected to be the perfect student and daughter. I didn't want that anymore, I wanted respect from people whose main concern wasn't whether or not I made it into med school.
I've made some damn stupid choices, and I'll admit that. I drink (drank) and do (did) drugs. I've hitchhiked almost 800 miles in the last 5 months. That caused my family the greatest fear they ever felt in their lives and I�m incredibly sorry for it, TheDragon was right if any of you remember that thread. It was in November. �captain_kirk is a stupid fucking little girl.� I lost my virginity to some Nicaraguan I'd known for 20 minutes, and you know what? We didn't use a condom. I've stolen the car and shoplifted over $3000 worth of goods, broken into various buildings and vehicles. I�ve binged and purged and starved. I�ve whored myself out over the internet and gotten various boys and girls to do the same.
I thought a lot about these things, developing a more cynical attitude towards life in general as time went by. I couldn�t justify my decisions, yet I couldn�t invalidate them either. After all, nothing in life matters when you�re dead. I grew increasingly frustrated at myself. I was frustrated because I had such a wonderful life and wasn�t grateful for it. When I was happy and grateful for everything I had, I was frustrated because I had so much more than others. Thinking about the universe and how absolutely microscopic we are made me angry because at the same time that I thought about these things I worried about my test marks. I hated myself for being so obnoxious at times, craving the attention to the point that even having people hate me was good enough. At other times I hated myself for being so angry at everybody and their petty problems, either just wishing I could sink into their caked on obliviousness, or else rise above it.
Both were impossible, both are always impossible. To be butch is one of the greatest insults a woman can receive, the other is bitch. To be forward with the world is not a thing to be admired. To be beautiful is. To be intelligent is, but no so intelligent that it could be regarded as something without compassion. To be good is, but not so good that you�re a goodie-good.
I did discover something though. I discovered the type of people I admired. I admire people who have done great things for the world. I don�t admire drunkards or drug addicts. I admire people who followed their dreams. I don�t admire people who admire people who wear designer jeans. I admire the politicians and activists and teachers, the doctors and nurses, the house cleaners and janitors and minimum wage workers. I admire anybody with morals and a conscience. It doesn�t matter what those morals are just so long as they don�t give up, just so long as they have something to believe in.
Now, this thread has gotten completely a.d.d. and I apologise for that. There was so much more I wanted to say, and the thoughts are all so eloquent in a person�s mind. It just didn�t turn out right on paper. I may try again later. I was hoping that somebody would read this thread and it would make them think, even just a little bit about something. I�m sorry for posting this in spurious, but I just couldn�t decide. It was about humanity and sex and affection and the reinvention of self.
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#2
2006-03-18, 00:05 |
negative_zero
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
"My ADD prevents me from reading all that."
-- The Shady Dealer
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#3
2006-03-18, 00:06 |
Storm
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by negative_zero:
"My ADD prevents me from reading all that."
-- The Shady Dealer
It's called Adderall. It's called...I'm prescribed to it? I lost my train of grammar. |
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#4
2006-03-18, 00:06 |
Hated One
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by negative_zero:
"My ADD prevents me from reading all that."
-- The Shady Dealer
Come on, read it. What could it hurt to spend a few minutes on it? |
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#5
2006-03-18, 00:07 |
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by captain_kirk:
I admire the politicians and activists and teachers, the doctors and nurses, the house cleaners and janitors and minimum wage workers. I admire anybody with morals and a conscience. It doesn�t matter what those morals are just so long as they don�t give up, just so long as they have something to believe in.
Yep. It doesn't matter if you do stupid shit, it's part of growing up. It's not needed, it causes lots of grief and little fun, but it's a process we all go through, and it's always the same afterwards. Oh, what a silly kid I've been. |
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#6
2006-03-18, 00:07 |
Tommy Lund
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
Video?
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#7
2006-03-18, 00:08 |
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
This belongs in Humanities
[This message has been edited by Star Wars Fan (edited 03-18-2006).]
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#8
2006-03-18, 00:10 |
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Moderator
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Assfuck Pennsylvania.
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
How about you have a good time on this planet while you're here because that's all we have baby. So have some fucking fun,because when you die you're memories is what's going to be coming with you,all the shit you bought isnt.
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#9
2006-03-18, 00:11 |
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
This thread is useless without pics/videos oh and btw too long/didn't read
[This message has been edited by Deoz (edited 03-18-2006).]
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#10
2006-03-18, 00:14 |
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
I've made some damn stupid choices, and I'll admit that. I drink (drank) and do (did) drugs. I've hitchhiked almost 800 miles in the last 5 months. That caused my family the greatest fear they ever felt in their lives and I�m incredibly sorry for it, TheDragon was right if any of you remember that thread. It was in November. �captain_kirk is a stupid fucking little girl.� I lost my virginity to some Nicaraguan I'd known for 20 minutes, and you know what? We didn't use a condom. I've stolen the car and shoplifted over $3000 worth of goods, broken into various buildings and vehicles. I�ve binged and purged and starved. I�ve whored myself out over the internet and gotten various boys and girls to do the same.
TheDragon is wrong about you being stupid, and yes not using a condom is bad. The stealing the car and shipliftin gover $3000, not really bad, you have to live the way you want to. Stealing the car isn't neessarily good either. |
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#11
2006-03-18, 00:16 |
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by Star Wars Fan:
TheDragon is wrong about you being stupid, and yes not using a condom is bad. The stealing the car and shipliftin gover $3000, not really bad, you have to live the way you want to. Stealing the car isn't neessarily good either.
You really should have stayed a few more years in an incubator before signing up for totse. |
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#12
2006-03-18, 00:17 |
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
Haha wow. I remember your thread about running away, and I was one of the few who actually did agree with TheDragon.
I almost want to say that maybe it is a good thing that you left, it sure knocked some sense into you.
Are you back home? Back on track?
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#13
2006-03-18, 00:18 |
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by umop 3pisdn:
You really should have stayed a few more years in an incubator before signing up for totse.
O RLY |
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#14
2006-03-18, 00:21 |
sii
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE VIDEOS?
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#15
2006-03-18, 00:22 |
feeble89
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
bump
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#16
2006-03-18, 00:31 |
masteroftheobvious
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
dammit. i came here to see some lesbo fighting and to flame you for posting in the wrong forum. and i get this shit? damn you
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#17
2006-03-18, 00:35 |
pyroanarchist
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by Star Wars Fan:
This belongs in Humanities
http://tinyurl.com/9n975 |
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#18
2006-03-18, 00:35 |
captain_kirk
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by Chinese Food52:
Haha wow. I remember your thread about running away, and I was one of the few who actually did agree with TheDragon.
I almost want to say that maybe it is a good thing that you left, it sure knocked some sense into you.
Are you back home? Back on track?
I didn't run away, I went exploring Vancouver for a weekend. Yes, I'm home, have been for quite some time, but for the past few months I've been really quite angry and continuing not reaching my full potential at school. Alot of what I posted was quite influenced by a book I read a couple days ago. "Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls." I was so shocked by how much of it directly related to me and I've been alot happier for yesterday and today. |
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#19
2006-03-18, 00:38 |
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTXXXXXXX
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
FALSE ADVERTISING.
I would like to smack you with a turd filled sock right now.
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#20
2006-03-18, 00:40 |
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
I scroll and I scroll and I see no links, just some philosophical piece.
Look, I may not have a hangover and my head may not be cloudy, but I AM FUCKING LAZY RIGHT NOW.
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#21
2006-03-18, 00:40 |
Storm
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by struggling artist:
FALSE ADVERTISING.
I would like to smack you with a turd filled sock right now.
I wish I had colon cancer, so I could carry around a bag of my own shit, and smack people with it. |
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#22
2006-03-18, 00:44 |
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by struggling artist:
FALSE ADVERTISING.
I would like to smack you with a turd filled sock right now.
I'd love to hammer goat shit icicles in your forehead, inject liquid bufallo dung in your aorta & blow your colon up with vaporized owl feces. |
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#23
2006-03-18, 00:44 |
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by pyroanarchist:
http://tinyurl.com/9n975
http://tinyurl.com/p3gue |
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#24
2006-03-18, 00:46 |
pyroanarchist
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by Star Wars Fan:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by pyroanarchist:
[b]http://tinyurl.com/9n975
http://tinyurl.com/p3gue [/B][/QUOTE] http://tinyurl.com/qy975 |
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#25
2006-03-18, 00:49 |
moonmeister
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
Right they all are, you've gotta do what youse gotta do. Ask any American dude doing Life Without Parole, because of the Three Strikes Law. Ask any teenage Canuck girl who's a single mother with a kid or two. Even if she's got Hep-C/HIV, she's had her 5 > 6yrs of fun & being a sickly single mother is no prob as a price for a half doz years of fun. Ask any crack-head teen streetwalker. The fun is worth any price. Though, there are people who have a lot of experiences & they don't go extra far outta their way to get extra f'ed up & dead. Heck lots of them work/party at Banff/Jasper or similar places season after season. Youse want to have a life that they won't teach youse in school. Yet, with people being strange, twisted organisms their is no one place where youse get everything. Adults spew such shit...but then so do kids. Yet, it's often hard to tell the worth of what people say & do. Considering fakery & jive is a daily part of life. That's one major reason people go for certain 'looks'...so others will more likely believe their bull. In conclusion, let me just say thissss... Sodomize them! Sodomize them alll!  |
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#26
2006-03-18, 01:00 |
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by pyroanarchist:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Star Wars Fan:
[b] [QUOTE]Originally posted by pyroanarchist:
[b]http://tinyurl.com/9n975
http://tinyurl.com/p3gue [/B][/QUOTE] http://tinyurl.com/qy975 [/B][/QUOTE] http://tinyurl.com/ostfw |
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#27
2006-03-18, 01:19 |
captain_kirk
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
Moonmeister, I have to read your posts about 4 times each because they're just so darn cryptic. Now, as for the people who get the extra experience and don't fuck up too badly, good for them. I'm glad they can live happily in their worlds.
But I want to contribute to the world. I still crave the attention, but I want to get if from doing good. I want to be noticed not because I scare people into doing good for themselves, but because I inspire them to do so.
I think I'm going into medical nursing and once I have enough money either go for my medical degree and branch off into either tropical medicine or surgery. If however, I continue to love nursing I want to do it all over the world.
Anyways, another thing that happens that makes me incredibly angry, I use racist terms, alot. It isn't at all becasue I view them as less than me. In fact, I never once say anything even remotely like that. I hate that people take the connotations of words like nigger and chink and wop and such and tell me I'm a terrible person. In the same breath as she was telling me that it was terrible to be racist, my best friend turned around and said to the downsyndrome kid behind us "close your mouth Koen, you suck cock." The hypocrosy there bothered me to no end, that people can accept certain discrimination and yet say that the rest of it is wrong.
There was this other guy on our bus, he never shuts his pie hole, always, always regailing his stories of drunken parties or drug overdoses as though it made him more mature. One day I got fed up with it and the fake giggles he got from most of the girls. In my most sarcastic tone I said "Tell another story Kaleb, because we care." Now this may have been completely out of line of me. What happened next though shocked and bothered me. The girls told me I was an awful person for saying such things and he started another story where his friend cut out a peice of her stomach and fried it for him. In a low voice a different friend of mine hissed at me "Are you an idiot, or do you just not want to get drunk at his house?"
The manipulation and deceit that there is makes me sick. What makes me even more sick is that I take part in it.
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#28
2006-03-18, 01:48 |
captain_kirk
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
Something that saddens me a little, it's the men and boys who are already open minded and intelligent who will read this thread. The others are the ones I'm talking about.
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#29
2006-03-18, 01:50 |
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by captain_kirk:
Something that saddens me a little, it's the men and boys who are already open minded and intelligent who will read this thread. The others are the ones I'm talking about.
You can't force maturity and intelligence upon one. It happens by itself, sometimes fast, most of the time not fast enough, and for some lucky bastards it never happens. |
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#30
2006-03-18, 01:54 |
DA
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by captain_kirk:
At other times I hated myself for being so angry at everybody and their petty problems, either just wishing I could sink into their caked on obliviousness, or else rise above it.
S' me right there. |
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#31
2006-03-18, 01:55 |
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTXXXXXXX
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by umop 3pisdn:
I'd love to hammer goat shit icicles in your forehead, inject liquid bufallo dung in your aorta & blow your colon up with vaporized owl feces.
I'd love to dismember you, strangle you with your own entrails, sodomize your corpse, shit on you, feed you broken glass, penetrate your urethra with a glass thermometer and BREAK IT OFF INSIDE YOU, skullfuck you, and kick you a couple of times. |
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#32
2006-03-18, 02:07 |
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
please stop fighting
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#33
2006-03-18, 02:27 |
moonmeister
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
Well...it almost helps to realize that, as with animals, a lot of what people do is the same jockeying for position/resources/territory. Look at yer girlszszs fer instance. Don't you think that a lot of what they do is not just to attract guys but to impress other girls an increase their status? Which does make sense, as women are more likely to speak a similar language. Guys (unless they are gay) maybe not even having to 'tools' to notice dress-sense & home decore stuff. Here's something to contemplate (before youse become too enamored of those in white...): Where do you fall in the philsophical/moral spectrum as to Meddies admitting fault? There is some amount of talk as to whether Docs 'n Nurses should admit when they've screwed up? Is it generally better to admit to...or as is traditional, 'bury your mistakes'? If you're not viewed as 'infallible', how can youse maintain the all important 'Face'? Without Face, how can youse get your proper respect? Without respect why should any patient trust youse? Makes youse want to dance 'n drink 'n sing, do it not?  |
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#34
2006-03-18, 02:32 |
MomentaryLapseOfReason
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
Damn, fooled again...  |
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#35
2006-03-18, 02:37 |
captain_kirk
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
Of course it's nothing more than evolution that leads to problems and the one-up-manship. However, in this day and age we SHOULD be able to realize that these things are no longer necessary, and even quite possibly detrimental. Primal instinct is just too strong I suppose.
I think it's incredibly important to admit to your mistakes. I think that it quite possibly shows a sign of true intelligence and openmindedness. A person does not gain 'Face' through deceit.
As for being enamoured with being a doctor, I'm not completely. To me it just seems like something positive that might contribute to the world, there are billions of other things that could do the same but I think in the medical profession I might be able to see the results of my work a little more clearly than I could elsewhere.
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#36
2006-03-18, 02:44 |
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WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
captain kirk = infrared.
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#37
2006-03-18, 02:47 |
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by captain_kirk:
I didn't run away, I went exploring Vancouver for a weekend. Yes, I'm home, have been for quite some time, but for the past few months I've been really quite angry and continuing not reaching my full potential at school. Alot of what I posted was quite influenced by a book I read a couple days ago. "Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls." I was so shocked by how much of it directly related to me and I've been alot happier for yesterday and today.
I was basically on the same boat as you. I know you have probably heard a lot of this stuff from guys on Totse just because your a girl. But, I was also considered really smart among my teachers, and I was the smartest of my siblings too. I know my dad wants me to go into med school or follow in his footsteps, but I've become so uninspired to do any of that. And I started getting disgusted at all my 'friends' for their stupid habits. And all the girls I would hang around with my age were just so god damn stupid, I didn't think there was hope at all for them. I was pretty cold a bitter for a while. But then I realised, I don't give a damn if I'm good at math, I hate doing it. So I won't go into advanced math classes or any of that. I decided I was just going to finish high school, maybe take a few business classes in university, and then start my own business. I don't know, my advice is fuck what your parents want from you, fuck what everyone else in life expects from you, just find out what interests you and do it. Don't be forced to do something just because you are good at it. And about the whole friends thing, I'm hoping, and pretty sure that when you finish high school, you will meet far new, and more interesting people. I haven't had sleep in a while so sorry if this doesn't make sense. |
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#38
2006-03-18, 02:50 |
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Regular
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WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by captain_kirk:
[B]Of course it's nothing more than evolution that leads to problems and the one-up-manship. However, in this day and age we SHOULD be able to realize that these things are no longer necessary, and even quite possibly detrimental. Primal instinct is just too strong I suppose/B]
Nigger what! One upmanship is NOT in the best interests of the species and certainly is not evolution, it is based on the contrived notions of society, definately not just modern society by any stretch either, although this is the era of conspicuous consumption. At least after the 80s, that is. |
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#39
2006-03-18, 03:03 |
moonmeister
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
Well, (so I'm told...) having a good grasp of Math 'n Science is at least a start. Heck even if one drops out of U & starts a business, it's handy to leave with as many skills as youse can.
Though interpersonal skilling is awfully important too's. That how generally Meddies know to never admit a mistake unless you are forced to by witnesses/evidence.
Same with most kids/'dullts. Honesty is good unless it costs too much.
How do you view all them college kids on spring break way down south? I wonder how many of varieties of 'Suits' those girlszszs will be? With the binge drinking & unsafe thexxth & weird 'girlszszs gone wild' stuff?
Sure...they're adullt...ish, it's cool not to be in highschoool, but there is some pressure being older. There is just too much of everything.
Too, many choices. Too darn many options.
No wonder people want to danth 'n dwink 'n thhqooow?
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#40
2006-03-18, 03:10 |
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Regular
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WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
*hits moonmeister like he hits his television when it scans weird*
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#41
2006-03-18, 03:12 |
Monkeh
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by moonmeister:
Well, (so I'm told...) having a good grasp of Math 'n Science is at least a start. Heck even if one drops out of U & starts a business, it's handy to leave with as many skills as youse can.
Though interpersonal skilling is awfully important too's. That how generally Meddies know to never admit a mistake unless you are forced to by witnesses/evidence.
Same with most kids/'dullts. Honesty is good unless it costs too much.
How do you view all them college kids on spring break way down south? I wonder how many of varieties of 'Suits' those girlszszs will be? With the binge drinking & unsafe thexxth & weird 'girlszszs gone wild' stuff?
Sure...they're adullt...ish, it's cool not to be in highschoool, but there is some pressure being older. There is just too much of everything.
Too, many choices. Too darn many options.
No wonder people want to danth 'n dwink 'n thhqooow?
You're fucking annoying. Fuck your posts. |
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#42
2006-03-18, 03:13 |
red white and jew
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
quote:
Originally posted by captain_kirk:
Oh, the irony. The fact that at one point in time I actually considered making that thread, complete with the videos. The brutal, brutal irony. Perhaps I have grown up a little since then, or maybe I haven't. Maybe I've realised things, how terribly entrenched we are in our culture, a culture of degradation associated with women, of one in which violence is so closely associated with sex, where looks are a measure of self worth. A culture in which there are women, girls, human beings so brought down and not even realizing it.
I am very much a part of this culture. Just the other day I was thinking about nihilism and the lack of meaning in our universe and on our planet while I carefully did my mascara. I like so many other young ladies place great importance on being thin. The denial of food is a denial of gluttony; it is something to be proud of, to be valued. Nobody likes a fat chick, right?
At the same time that we call down gluttony and turn our heads in disgust from the fat chicks and sluts and emos we are the fat chicks and sluts and emos. There is a universal need for love and acceptance. Yet stronger than that need is the need for betterment. The need to have a place in the world, a place more important than anybody else�s place.
Some people find that place and it affects them negatively. Others are luckier and find a place where they can flourish and thrive. I had a place that was incredibly positive growing up. I was considered gifted by my parents and teachers and that was recognised. It was what I had and I thrived off of it, but then I realized that being smart wasn't all there was to life. The need for acceptance and friendship, but more than that, the need for sexual attention brought me down. I started rebelling, rebelling at the impossible standards expected of me. The standards put out by the teachers and my parents. My entire life I had been expected to be the perfect student and daughter. I didn't want that anymore, I wanted respect from people whose main concern wasn't whether or not I made it into med school.
I've made some damn stupid choices, and I'll admit that. I drink (drank) and do (did) drugs. I've hitchhiked almost 800 miles in the last 5 months. That caused my family the greatest fear they ever felt in their lives and I�m incredibly sorry for it, TheDragon was right if any of you remember that thread. It was in November. �captain_kirk is a stupid fucking little girl.� I lost my virginity to some Nicaraguan I'd known for 20 minutes, and you know what? We didn't use a condom. I've stolen the car and shoplifted over $3000 worth of goods, broken into various buildings and vehicles. I�ve binged and purged and starved. I�ve whored myself out over the internet and gotten various boys and girls to do the same.
I thought a lot about these things, developing a more cynical attitude towards life in general as time went by. I couldn�t justify my decisions, yet I couldn�t invalidate them either. After all, nothing in life matters when you�re dead. I grew increasingly frustrated at myself. I was frustrated because I had such a wonderful life and wasn�t grateful for it. When I was happy and grateful for everything I had, I was frustrated because I had so much more than others. Thinking about the universe and how absolutely microscopic we are made me angry because at the same time that I thought about these things I worried about my test marks. I hated myself for being so obnoxious at times, craving the attention to the point that even having people hate me was good enough. At other times I hated myself for being so angry at everybody and their petty problems, either just wishing I could sink into their caked on obliviousness, or else rise above it.
Both were impossible, both are always impossible. To be butch is one of the greatest insults a woman can receive, the other is bitch. To be forward with the world is not a thing to be admired. To be beautiful is. To be intelligent is, but no so intelligent that it could be regarded as something without compassion. To be good is, but not so good that you�re a goodie-good.
I did discover something though. I discovered the type of people I admired. I admire people who have done great things for the world. I don�t admire drunkards or drug addicts. I admire people who followed their dreams. I don�t admire people who admire people who wear designer jeans. I admire the politicians and activists and teachers, the doctors and nurses, the house cleaners and janitors and minimum wage workers. I admire anybody with morals and a conscience. It doesn�t matter what those morals are just so long as they don�t give up, just so long as they have something to believe in.
Now, this thread has gotten completely a.d.d. and I apologise for that. There was so much more I wanted to say, and the thoughts are all so eloquent in a person�s mind. It just didn�t turn out right on paper. I may try again later. I was hoping that somebody would read this thread and it would make them think, even just a little bit about something. I�m sorry for posting this in spurious, but I just couldn�t decide. It was about humanity and sex and affection and the reinvention of self.
shut up and open up them legs |
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#43
2006-03-18, 03:13 |
Harlequin Senior
Regular
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Re: Girl On Girl Drunken Brawl (With Video)
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