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| Spurious Generalities This is the general discussion and chat forum. People can discuss just about anything they want to in this area, providing it doesn't fit in one of the other forums and provided that it will bring conversation to the thread. |
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#1
 2006-03-17, 04:33 |
AnalSeepage 
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 Funniest Joke Ever?
So a baby seal walks into a club...
LOL!
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#2
2006-03-17, 04:34 |
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
what do you call a bear with no teeth?
a gummy bear!
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#3
2006-03-17, 04:39 |
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
OMG ur gay
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#4
2006-03-17, 04:39 |
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Forum Administrator
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Columbus Ohio
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
What did the fish say when it ran into the cement wall? "Dam"
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A "fsh"
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#5
2006-03-17, 04:41 |
robyextreme
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
Em0 jokes
How many emo's does it take to screw a lightbulb?
2, because one of them writes a poem
or none because they perfer the dark.
And yeah grass cutting itself.
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#6
2006-03-17, 04:41 |
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Forum Administrator
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Columbus Ohio
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
So this little kid with a speech impediment was going trick or treating on halloween. He was dressed up like a pirate. He walks up to the first house and the woman who answers the door says, "aww, a little pirate. But where are your buccaneers?" The little boy looked offened and says, "There right on the sides of my buckin' head!"
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#7
2006-03-17, 04:42 |
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Forum Administrator
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Columbus Ohio
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, feminists can't change anything.
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#8
2006-03-17, 04:42 |
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Forum Administrator
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Columbus Ohio
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
What's the worst part about having sex with a 6 year old? Getting the blood off your clown suit.
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#9
2006-03-17, 04:45 |
leftover
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by Zok:
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, feminists can't change anything.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH...it funny cus its true! |
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#10
2006-03-17, 04:46 |
DA
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
What did the grape say when it was stepped on?
It let out a little whine.
{DA}
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#11
2006-03-17, 04:47 |
ExplodingTeeth
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
& gt;
> ;
>< BR>>
>
& gt;
> ;
>< BR>>
>
>
To get the the other side.
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#12
2006-03-17, 04:47 |
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by Zok:
What's the worst part about having sex with a 6 year old? Getting the blood off your clown suit.
Fucking awesome joke. Edit: same with the first one. [This message has been edited by Spinsta (edited 03-17-2006).] |
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#13
2006-03-17, 04:47 |
pkrchmp012
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by Zok:
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, feminists can't change anything.
hahaha that's a pretty good one. |
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#14
2006-03-17, 05:14 |
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
after reading that fucking clown topic that joke just creeped me out.
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#15
2006-03-17, 05:17 |
Zoe
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by Sentinel:
after reading that fucking clown topic that joke just creeped me out.
i agree |
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#16
2006-03-17, 05:19 |
Hated One
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by Zok:
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, feminists can't change anything.
I heard a different version... How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? One to SUCK MY DICK! It's funny only if you imagine telling that to a feminist. |
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#17
2006-03-17, 05:25 |
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Forum Administrator
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Columbus Ohio
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
Chiz-ace fowarded this to me ages ago:
While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 10 mph over), I noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?" I replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" I responded, "I'm a rectum stretcher." The cop said "What.....a rectum stretcher, and what does a rectum stretcher do?" I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand, then I work until I can get both hands in there and then I slowly stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide." The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" I simply replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him on top of a bridge..."
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#18
2006-03-17, 05:28 |
DA
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
AAAAHAhahhahaahaa...haha...haaa...  {DA} |
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#19
2006-03-17, 05:29 |
zebra head
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
There are three ducks enjoying a hot day in a pond. A police officer walks by and asks the ducks what they're doing. The first duck responds "I'm just blowin bubbles sir thats all." Police officer chuckles and asks the second duck; "What are you doing?" the duck responds "Nothing sir, just blowing bubbles, just blowin bubbles." The police officer smiles at the though of a bunch of ducks having innocent fun. He asks the third duck, "What are you doing? Are you blowing bubbles?" The third duck responds "No, I AM bubbles."
Oh god zok that last one brought tears to my eyes..
[This message has been edited by zebra head (edited 03-17-2006).]
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#20
2006-03-17, 05:33 |
AnalSeepage
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
Bump for awesomeness + ZOK IS THE BEST ADMIN EVER /KISSASS
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#21
2006-03-17, 05:35 |
NoLongerBanned
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by Zok:
Chiz-ace fowarded this to me ages ago:
While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 10 mph over), I noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?" I replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" I responded, "I'm a rectum stretcher." The cop said "What.....a rectum stretcher, and what does a rectum stretcher do?" I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand, then I work until I can get both hands in there and then I slowly stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide." The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" I simply replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him on top of a bridge..."
Very nice. |
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#22
2006-03-17, 05:37 |
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
I suck at making jokes. |
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#23
2006-03-17, 05:47 |
niggersexual
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
I heard a joke in Half Baked but I can't remember who posted it. It goes something like this.
Once there was an elephant who was in great pain. He had a thorn stuck in his foot and couldn't pull it out himself so he asked for someone to come to take it out. A mouse came and offered to pull it out. The elephant offered the mouse anything if he could pull it out. "Anything?" asked the mouse. The elephant nodded. The mouse pulled the thorn out with ease and the elephant felt better.
"I want my way with you," said the mouse.
"Please!" pleaded the elephant.
"You said anything..."
So then the mouse starts humping the elephant in the ass and a bunch of monkeys see and they start throwing coconuts at them and the mouse is all like "TAKE IT ALL, BITCH!"
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#24
2006-03-17, 05:48 |
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
On one side of a road a family of ducks is walking alongside traffic. On the opposite side of the road a family of skunks is travelling the same direction. The families decide to cross the road, but a truck comes along and kills all except one baby duck, and one baby skunk. The baby skunk and the baby duck become friends.
They continue walking together until the duck starts to cry. The skunk asks him 'Duck, why are you crying" and the duck replies 'My mommy died before she could tell me what I am.' And the skunk logically replied 'well, you've got feathers, and a beak, and webbed feet, so you must be a duck.' The duck smiled and they continued walking.
Suddenly the skunk starts crying and the duck asks 'Why are you crying?' And the skunk replied 'my mommy died before she could tell me what I am.' The duck looks him over and says 'well, you're not quite black, you're not quite white, and you smell like shit...so you must be a MEXICAN.'
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#25
2006-03-17, 05:51 |
Over The Influence
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
Women's Rights.
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#26
2006-03-17, 05:55 |
niggersexual
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by Zok:
What's the worst part about having sex with a 6 year old? Getting the blood off your clown suit.
LOL! That one made me giggle. |
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#27
2006-03-17, 05:55 |
Violent Monotreme
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by Over The Influence:
Women's Rights.
Best one yet. |
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#28
2006-03-17, 06:06 |
Steve
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can put your cock in its mouth.
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#29
2006-03-17, 06:06 |
Ankhd
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
What sound does an Italian make when you throw them against a wall?
]Whop!
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#30
2006-03-17, 06:06 |
niggersexual
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by Steve:
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can put your cock in its mouth.
Where's Infernal when you need him? |
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#31
2006-03-17, 06:08 |
Ackronymph
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
A pregnant woman is sitting in her living room watching t.v, when all of a sudden, her water breaks. She starts freaking out and calls her husband to come pick her up and take her to the hospital. Well, he leaves work and picks her up. They go to the hospital and immediately get a room where a couple nurses begin preparation for birth. The doctor comes in soon after and delivers the baby without a hitch.
The doctor then takes the child and throws it on the ground! He picks it back up, grabs some scalpels and starts cutting the fuck out of the little thing, sticking needles in it, and finishes of by throwing it at the wall.
The mother screams and says "That is my baby!! what the FUCK do you think you are doing?!?!"
The doctor replies: "haha, gotcha. It was dead when it came out"
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#32
2006-03-17, 06:09 |
Over The Influence
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by Steve:
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can put your cock in its mouth.
The answer is actually so you can watch the expressions on the way down. You're a horrible joke teller. Sorry Steve. |
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#33
2006-03-17, 06:10 |
lacker
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
Im saving that bubbles joke for someone name bubbles.
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#34
2006-03-17, 06:19 |
marusushi
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by Zok:
What's the worst part about having sex with a 6 year old? Getting the blood off your clown suit.
ahahaha! |
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#35
2006-03-17, 06:30 |
Get Mountain High
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
How do u keep little blakc kids from hopping on your bed?
Put velcro on your ceiling
what do you do when u see your tv floating around at night?
Turn on hte light and shoot the nigger!
Why cant stevie wonder read?
Because hes black.
Why is stevie wonder always smiling?
because he doesnt know hes black.
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#36
2006-03-17, 06:33 |
Ackronymph
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
Why did the woman cross the road?
Wait a minute... what was she doing out of the kitchen and who gave her shoes??
Why don't women need to learn how to drive?
Because there is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.
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#37
2006-03-17, 06:42 |
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Toronto, Ontario - Canada
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by Zok:
What's the worst part about having sex with a 6 year old? Getting the blood off your clown suit.
I guess this is in the same category: What is the best thing about fucking 3 year olds? No more diaper mess. |
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#38
2006-03-17, 07:18 |
Infernal
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by Steve:
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can put your cock in its mouth.
Shut up, Steve. |
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#39
2006-03-17, 12:08 |
Atticus_Ellis
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
What's Hitlers least favorite planet?
'Jewpiter'
Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
The pizza doesnt scream when you put it in an oven!
Whats the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?
A canoe tips
How do you get 100 jews into a car?
Throw a quarter in it.
How do you get them out again?
Tell them Hilter is driving.
How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle?
54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray.
How do you know you have a queer Jew?
He likes money more than girls.
Have you heard about the Jewish sports car?
It stops on a dime, then picks it up
What is a Jews biggest dilemma?
Free pork
Why do Jews have such big noses?
Cuz all the airs free.
Whats the object of Jewish football?
To get the quarter back.
How was copper wire invented?
2 Jews fighting over the same penny
What language does Jewish homo speak?
Heblew
What did the little German boy get for his birthday?
Easy bake oven and a G.I Jew
Hows Christmas celebrated in Jewish homes?
They put parking meters on the roof.
Why did the Jews walk around the desert for 40 years?
They heard that someone dropped a quarter
What do you call a room full of jewish women with yeast infections?
A whine and cheese party.
Whats Jewish doggy style?
You beg for half an hour and the princess rolls over and plays dead.
What happens when a Jew with an errection walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose.
What's faster than a speeding bullet?
A jew with a coupon.
Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers......
10) YOU HAVE TO SIT UPRIGHT WHILE DRIVING.
09) THE PISTOL WON'T STAY UNDER FRONT SEAT.
08) ENGINES DROWN OUT THE RAP MUSIC.
07) THE PIT CREW CAN'T WORK ON THE CAR WHILE HOLDING UP PANTS AT THE SAME TIME.
06) THEY KEEP TRYING TO CARJACK DALE, JR.
05) POLICE CARS ON TRACK INTERFERE WITH RACE.
04) NO PASSENGER SEAT FOR THE HO.
03) THERE ARE NO SPONSORS FOR CADILLAC.
02) CAN'T WEAR HELMET SIDEWAYS.
AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR:
01) WHEN THEY CRASH THEIR CAR THEY BAIL OUT AND RUN.
What do you call a little mexican?
A paragraph, because he's not quite an essay.
Why aren't there any spics on Star Trek?
They won't work in the future either!
What do you call a gang of spics running down a hill?
Jailbreak!
Why do blacks put their garbage in clear bags?
So puerto ricans can window shop!
Why do spics drive lowriders?
So they can drive while they pick strawberries.
What do you call a mexican getting baptised?
Bean dip!
What do you call a building full of spics?
A jail!
What do you call two mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan!
What do you call a spic with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
How do you kill a mexican?
Throw a quarter off a cliff!
What do you get when you breed a black and a mexican?
A theif who's too lazy to steal!
Why don't mexicans have barbecues?
The beans keep falling through the grill!
What did the spic say when his home fell on him?
Get off me holmes!!
How do you find the richest spic in town?
Drop a penny, whoever catches it is the richest spic!
Why do mexicans eat tamales on christmas?
So they'll have something to unwrap!
Why were there only 40,000 mexicans at the Alamo?
They only have two cars!
How do you start a mexican parade?
Roll a quarter down the street!
A mexican and a nigger are riding in car . . who's driving?
A cop!
How do you hide money from a mexican?
Hide it under a bar of soap!
Why is there no mexican olympic team?
All the spics who can run, jump or swim are in the U.S.!
Why is a spic like a pizza?
They're both small, greasy and speak no english!
What is a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed!
Why do mexicans like tiny steering wheels?
It make it easier to drive while handcuffed!
What do you call a spick with too much hair jell?
A jellybean!
How do you save a drowning Puerto Rican?
You don't know, GOOD!
What do get when you cross a Spic and a gook?
A car thief who can't drive
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#40
2006-03-17, 12:29 |
JuggaloStoner42069
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by ExplodingTeeth:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get the the other side.< HR>
H ahahahahah ahahahahaH ahAHahAgha h4hahahaha hahauahauh auhahahauhahahah...... hahah4HhhaahahaHahahahahahahahahahaHahAHahAghah4hahahahahahauahauhauhahahauhahahah...... hahah4HhhaahahaHahahahahahahahahahaHahAHahAghah4hahahahahahauahauhauhahahauhahahah...... hahah4HhhaahahaHahahahahahahahahahaHahAHahAghah4hahahahahahauahauhauhahahauhahahah...... hahah4HhhaahahaHahahahahahahahahahaHahAHahAghah4hahahahahahauahauhauhahahauhahahah...... hahah4HhhaahahaHahahahahahahahahahaHahAHahAghah4hahahahahahauahauhauhahahauhahahah...... hahah4HhhaahahaHahahahahahahahahahaHahAHahAghah4hahahahahahauahauhauhahahauhahahah...... hahah4HhhaahahaHahahahahahahahahahaHahAHahAghah4hahahahahahauahauhauhahahauhahahah...... hahah4Hhhaahaha... How do you come up with this shit??!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA?!?!?!?!?! |
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#41
2006-03-17, 13:24 |
Goatmale
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
Remember that black guy in the jetsons?
Isn't the future great?
and..
A little girl was crying next to the side of a cliff, a man walks up and asks her what's wrong, she says that her mom and dad both jumped off the cliff and she doesn't know what to do. The man says this isn't your lucky day and unzips his pants.
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#42
2006-03-17, 13:39 |
naive_wisdom
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
and...
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
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#43
2006-03-17, 13:54 |
TerminatorVinitiatoR
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
family of crisps (potato chips for the yanks) is walking along the road, man in a car pulls up next to them "do you want a lift?" "no" replied the crisps, "we're walkers"
(walkers is a brand of potato chips in britain.)
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#44
2006-03-17, 14:11 |
Jokke
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
A man was walking down the street when he suddenly saw his wife come out of a shop.
The man runs over to his wife and started punching here,
Why? Because she�s a woman.
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#45
2006-03-17, 14:28 |
SKS_7.62
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
What is 12 inches long and makes a woman scream?
A stillborn
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#46
2006-03-17, 14:53 |
16bit
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
27 Reasons Why Tacos Are Better Than Women -- ------- --- ----- --- ------ ---- ----- Tacos won't shave with your razor. Tacos won't ask, "Is there another taco?" Tacos won't look through your checkbook. Tacos don't have cats. A taco won't mind if you share it with a friend. A taco never says, (A) "Is it hard yet?" (B) "Is it in yet?" (C) "Have you seen a doctor about that?" A taco won't tell other tacos about your cucumber. Tacos don't mind if you eat their friends. Tacos are ready when you are. Tacos never ask you to call them in the morning. With a taco, you never have to say you're sorry. You don't have to respect tacos in the morning. You don't have to tell tacos you love them. Tacos don't fall in love with you just because you have sex. Tacos don't make you wear a condom. Tacos are happy to sleep on the wet spot. Tacos don't get upset if you eat other tacos. You don't have to hold a taco while it's falling asleep. Tacos never have headaches. Tacos don't leave hair in your teeth. Tacos don't care if you're married. Tacos never even talk about marriage. Tacos don't get pregnant. Tacos don't insist on foreplay. Tacos don't bite. You can have your taco as hot as you want it. Tacos taste good.  |
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#47
2006-03-17, 15:02 |
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Moderator
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Professional Bastard
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
It was proven through scientific testing by the University of Hertfordshire some years ago that the funniest joke in the world is as follows: quote:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
source |
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#48
2006-03-17, 15:39 |
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Regular
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Star Wars Moderator
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
where do ewoks go when it rains?
A: endors
What do old stormtroopers use?
A:Imperial Walkers
What goes ha! ha! clunk!?
A: a droid laughing its head off
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#49
2006-03-17, 16:03 |
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
Knock knock
Whos there
Jesus.....lol
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#50
2006-03-17, 16:03 |
mastershake
Regular
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by Zok:
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, feminists can't change anything.
winnar |
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#51
2006-03-17, 16:13 |
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
One day a father and his young kid girl were taking a bath, then his kid girl said "daddy what's that" looking at his dick. He said "that's my mother goose nest. She said " Can I play with it" "No" said the father. Later he goes to sleep. She plays with it. He wakes up and says" What happened?" She says " I played with it and it spits at me so I cut the head off, crack the eggs, and burn the nest!!!"
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#52
2006-03-17, 16:48 |
2235
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
Why did the little girl laugh at the pedophile joke? .< BR>. .< BR>. .< BR>. .< BR>. .< BR>. .< BR>. .< BR>. .< BR>. . . . . . . . Because it is true |
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#53
2006-03-17, 16:57 |
PhatMonkey
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by RogueEagle91:
One day a father and his young kid girl were taking a bath, then his kid girl said "daddy what's that" looking at his dick. He said "that's my mother goose nest. She said " Can I play with it" "No" said the father. Later he goes to sleep. She plays with it. He wakes up and says" What happened?" She says " I played with it and it spits at me so I cut the head off, crack the eggs, and burn the nest!!!"
That joke used to be just the head cutting. I MADE THE 'crack the eggs' AND 'burn the nest' PART IN GRADE 6!!!! Damn kids and their music... |
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#54
2006-03-17, 17:19 |
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San Francisco, CA
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
These are some of my dad's and my favorite jokes. A lot of them are old ones and very common, but they have always made me laugh.
So a guy needs to catch a bear that has been roaming his property, but he doesn't know how. He decides to go to a local indian expert and ask him how to catch the bear. The indian expert tells the man to "Dig a deep hole in the middle of you property, and within this hole, to light a big fire and let it burn out so there is soot and ash everywhere." The man is perplexed by the idea of a bear walking into a hole full of soot, but he keeps listening. "Line the hole with peas, and the bear will be attracted to the food." The man is getting restless, so he asks the indian "So, how do I actually catch this bear." The indian says "When the bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the ash-hole."
A family goes to a national park known for a bird known as a "Foo." The family is walking around in amazement at this wonderful bird, and the dad looks up and suddenly a Foo takes a crap all over his clothes. As he's wiping it off, a park ranger sprints over and stops him. The dad asks the ranger why he shouldn't wipe it off and the ranger says "That's good luck you got there." So the man goes around the national park with bird crap all over him. The moral of the story is, if the foo shits, wear it.
What happened when the stewardess backed into the propeller of a plane?
Dis-assed-her.
A guy walks into a bar. Ouch.
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#55
2006-03-17, 17:24 |
Neiromaru
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
Once there was a marine biologist who loved dolphins. He spent his time trying to feed and protect his beloved creatures of the sea. One day, in a fit of inventive genius, he came up with a serum that would make dolphins live forever!
Of course he was ecstatic. But he soon realized that in order to mass produce this serum he would need large amounts of a certain compound that was only found in nature in the metabolism of a rare South American bird. Carried away by his love for dolphins, he resolved that he would go to the zoo and steal one of these birds.
Unbeknownst to him, as he was arriving at the zoo an elderly lion was escaping from its cage. The zoo keepers were alarmed and immediately began combing the zoo for the escaped animal, unaware that it had simply lain down on the sidewalk and had gone to sleep.
Meanwhile, the marine biologist arrived at the zoo and procured his bird. He was so excited by the prospect of helping his dolphins that he stepped absentmindedly over the sleeping lion on his way back to his car. Immediately, 1500 policemen converged on him and arrested him for transporting a myna across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.
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#56
2006-03-17, 17:28 |
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by PhatMonkey:
That joke used to be just the head cutting. I MADE THE 'crack the eggs' AND 'burn the nest' PART IN GRADE 6!!!!
Damn kids and their music...
this is what i get for copying and pasting a shitty joke. |
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#57
2006-03-17, 19:39 |
SHELLI
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by 16bit:
27 Reasons Why Tacos Are Better Than Women
-- ------- --- ----- --- ------ ---- -----
Tacos won't shave with your razor.
Tacos won't ask, "Is there another taco?"
Tacos won't look through your checkbook.
Tacos don't have cats.
A taco won't mind if you share it with a friend.
A taco never says,
(A) "Is it hard yet?"
(B) "Is it in yet?"
(C) "Have you seen a doctor about that?"
A taco won't tell other tacos about your cucumber.
Tacos don't mind if you eat their friends.
Tacos are ready when you are.
Tacos never ask you to call them in the morning.
With a taco, you never have to say you're sorry.
You don't have to respect tacos in the morning.
You don't have to tell tacos you love them.
Tacos don't fall in love with you just because you have sex.
Tacos don't make you wear a condom.
Tacos are happy to sleep on the wet spot.
Tacos don't get upset if you eat other tacos.
You don't have to hold a taco while it's falling asleep.
Tacos never have headaches.
Tacos don't leave hair in your teeth.
Tacos don't care if you're married.
Tacos never even talk about marriage.
Tacos don't get pregnant.
Tacos don't insist on foreplay.
Tacos don't bite.
You can have your taco as hot as you want it.
Tacos taste good.
forgot one-----tacos dont care if the meat falls out |
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#58
2006-03-17, 21:20 |
33392nfke
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
what happens when you stick your hands into a jar of jelly beans??
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the little black ones steal your watch!! lol.
2 black men in a car, whos driving??
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the cops...lol
yea yea theyre crap, so what.
[This message has been edited by 33392nfke (edited 03-17-2006).]
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#59
2006-03-17, 21:24 |
Lewcifer
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
Why are camels also called "the ships of the desert"?
Cos theyre full of Arab semen.
What do you if a baby has a fit in the bath?
Put some Daz and your washing in
Whats the diefference between a leprechaun and a charitable Jew?
I've met a leprechaun
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#60
2006-03-17, 23:57 |
gipowmiakia
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
Three reasons why Jesus was Jewish:
1. He lived with his parents until he was 30
2. He was convinced his mom was still a virgin
3. He followed his dad's business.
Three reasons why Jesus was Italian:
1. He had wine with every meal
2. He talked with his hands
3. He worked in construction
Three reasons why Jesus was Irish:
1. He never married
2. He had a beard
3. He loved green meadows
Three reasons why Jesus was Californian:
1. He had long hair
2. He walked bare footed
3. He invented a new religion
Three reasons why Jesus was Black
1. He liked gospel music
2. He called everyone brother
3. He did not have a fair trial
Three reasons why Jesus was Puerto-Rican:
1. His name has Je-sus
2. He was bilingual
3. He was on the most wanted list
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#61
2006-03-18, 00:21 |
fuckaduck
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
whats the difference between a bunch of dead babies and a ferrari?
i havent got a ferrari in my garage.
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#62
2006-03-18, 01:29 |
Ackronymph
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
What is the difference between a ferrari and a dead baby?
I have never been inside of a ferrari.
What is funnier than a pile of dead babies...
Two piles of dead babies...
What is funnier than two piles of dead babies...
Three piles of dead babies...
What is funnier than.......
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#63
2006-03-18, 17:22 |
m00fire
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
How do you get a clown of a swing?
Smash him in the face with an axe.
How do you know whae a cabbage is cooked?
The wheelchair floats on top.
What do you do if there's a blackout on your street?
Shoot the cunt.
What's black and has 17 tits?
A binbag outside the cancer ward.
Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for Xmas. He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
What do you seven epileptics in a chewing gum wrapper?
Wrigleys.
Tomorrow was Katies birthday and she was really excited. She runs into the kitchen and shouts 'Daddy Daddy, guess how old I'll be tomorrow. 'Don't know.' her dad replies, playing along. 'I'll be six!' she says. Then she runs into the front room and screams 'Grandad Grandad, guess how old I'll be tomorrow. 'I'll tell you, he says, but first you gotta pull down your panties.' She does, and he puts his fingers up her, pulls them out, sniffs them, then licks them, and replies 'Six.' 'How do you know that!' she says. 'I heard you tell your dad...'
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#64
2006-03-18, 17:37 |
Dodectabone
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
What do you have have when you have one moth ball in your right hand, and one moth ball in your left hand?
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A really big moth.
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#65
2006-03-18, 22:07 |
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Re: Funniest Joke Ever?
quote:
Originally posted by Zok:
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, feminists can't change anything.
HAH. I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out. (Rodney Dangerfield) |
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