Can some one please explain to mt the whole star war things i mean theres so much stuuf like the rebels, the confederacy and other thing. Im playing battle front 2 and it seems really intresting so I would like to no more about the story line and stuff.

Watch the movies, Episode 4 to 6 first and then the shitty ones (Episode 1 to 3). To explain it all would take too long, and until you know all that is Star Wars you phail at life.

robots vs. jedis
rebels vs confederacy
luke skywalker wins

quote:

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Originally posted by DeathFromAfar:
Watch the movies, Episode 4 to 6 first and then the shitty ones (Episode 1 to 3). To explain it all would take too long, and until you know all that is Star Wars you [b]phail at life.[/B]

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psshhh. Star Trek is better

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Originally posted by Hated One:

psshhh. Star Trek is better

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LAWL. thats a good one, Hated One. i almost thought you were serious for a moment there.

quote:

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Originally posted by PirateJoe:
LAWL. thats a good one, Hated One. i almost thought you were serious for a moment there.

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I am.

How the hell does a human go thru life not knowing about Star Wars?

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Originally posted by Hated One:
I am.

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:O

Star Trek and Star Wars both suck.

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Originally posted by Deoz:
:O

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I'm sorry, it's stupid. It had great potential, but Lucas fucked it up with inferior writing among other comparative weaknesses.

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Originally posted by Hated One:
I'm sorry, it's stupid. It had great potential, but Lucas fucked it up with inferior writing among other comparative weaknesses.

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Tis sad, but true.

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Originally posted by nawfside_mexican:
Can some one please explain to mt the whole star war things

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Ask Star Wars Fan. He wrote this whole thing comparing Star Wars politics and US politics, I think it was.

Poorly executed trolling attempt - most of us aren't rabid star wars fans who'll kill at the sight of a non-adept in the ways of trivia.

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Originally posted by DeathFromAfar:
Tis sad, but true.

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With all its flaws, You must admit that episode 3 is fucking great

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Originally posted by HAND:

With all its flaws, You must admit that episode 3 is fucking great

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Out of 1-3 I liked two the best for some reason, I liked the clones

*waits for Star Wars Fan to make a 40 paragraph post*

"The jedi are going to feel this one..."

I pissed everyone off on CounterStrike by saying that right before i died...Playing a surf map...I died often...

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Originally posted by ExplodingTeeth:
"The jedi are going to feel this one..."

I pissed everyone off on CounterStrike by saying that right before i died...Playing a surf map...I died often...

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AWP FTW!

History 101, Courtesy of the Imperial War College:

The Jedi Knights are central to everything. They are an ancient order of royalist sorcerors that are vigilent about keeping their secrets unknown and a corrupt Galactic Republic in power.

However, a heroic politician from Naboo, namely Senator Palpatine, wanted a different, brighter future for the galaxy, one free of the corruption and inefficiency that was the Republic.

The Republic claimed it was about freedom and democracy and self-determination, yet it resorted to force to keep systems from peacefully leaving the organization. So, a group of systems had to band together and fight the Republic, and it's evil ways.

This group was known as the Confederacy of Independant Systems, or CIS.

The CIS fought a heroic war of independance against the tyrannical Galactic Republic for several years before eventually yielding to the Republic's relentless military forces.

The Jedi Knights were instrumental to all of this, helping along the forces of evil and oppression while they filled their own coffers through shameless war profiteering.

However, the Chancellor of the Republic, who happened to be the Senator from Naboo mentioned earlier, saw through their lies and deceit. He used the Grand Army of the Republic to finally arrest and annihilate the Jedi Order, bringing down their thousands of years of royalist tyranny.

The heroic Chancellor himself was badly mauled in fighting with the Jedi, and this led to his disfigurement.

To insure that the people of the galaxy would no longer have to live in fear of the Jedi anytime in the future, Chancellor Palpatine created the Galactic Empire, a government free of the petty squables of the Old Republic, and secure from power-hungry Jedi.

Despite Emperor Palpatine's heroic efforts, the Jedi were not completely destroyed. In fact, several of them lived on. These Jedi manipulated the weak minded into forming a group known as the Rebel Alliance, a terrorist group dedicated to the sole cause of creating chaos and death in the galaxy.

In fact, the Empire has been waging a war against this group ever since. However, things have been difficult.

The Rebels are not above thievery, extortion, threats and even murder to achieve their ends. Reports even indicate that their leader, one Mon Mothma, even engages in cannibalism and infanticide on those that refuse to back her cause.

It is for these reasons that the Empire needs patriotic citizens, such as yourself, to remember to fight the good fight, and join the Imperial Army today!

There is a jedi cell operating out of North Oaks. I'm going there tomorrow to sabotage some of their equipment.

quote:

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Originally posted by Sgt. Lag:
Ask Star Wars Fan. He wrote this whole thing comparing Star Wars politics and US politics, I think it was.

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Actually, he didn't write that. I've seen it half a million times published by a reputable person on many news websites.

quote:

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Originally posted by Hated One:

psshhh. Star Trek is better

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hell yeah

I'm going to insult many people by saying I've gone through my whole life without giving a rats about Star Wars and Star Trek.

And for the Trekkies, a question: did William Shatner(sp?) play a character on Star Trek?

History channels been yackin about him all week and I still don't know the connection between him and Star Trek.

On a side note: Space Ballz kicks Star Trek and Star Wars butts!

heres an idea...watch episodes 1, then 2, then 3, then as a change of pace, watch episodes 4 5 and 6. that should give you an idea you fucking idiot.

but pretty much, the republic is good, tries to destroy the confederate droid army. once theyre out of the way, the republic uses the clone armies to kill the jedi and solidify their supremacy in the galaxy. then, with the republic turned into the empire, the rebels form and try to destroy the empire. so, when the rebels win, its all good again


idiot

Not to make myself look like a Trekkie, but are you fucking kidding me?

William Shatner is the very embodiment of Star Trek. He played the character of Captain Kirk on the original Star Trek television series several decades ago. This was long before The Next Generation or any of the other spin-off series which you're probably more familiar with.

Vader wants to control outer space

Yoda wants to expore inner space

Thats the difference between the good and bad sides.. of the force.


I don't know where it comes from sometimes.

quote:

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Originally posted by letsnukechina:
non-adept

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Padawan!

But why were the confederacy stomping around the galaxy trying to take over shit? I thought it was Palpatine that was the guy in the movie trying to do that

What the fuck is the confederacy?

Are they trying to lynch ewoks or something?

Wikipedia/Google

*deep breath*

Episode 1-

A planet named Naboo was blockaded by Trade Federation ships. The people of Naboo asked the Republic for help, so they send two Jedi (Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn). But a dark Jedi (also known as a Sith) is controlling the Leader of the Trade Federation (the Viceroy). He, who we all later are told is Darth Sidious, tells the Viceroy to kill the two Jedi. They kill a lot of droids and make it to the surface of the planet, where they decide to warn the queen of the planet of the invasion. (they go to the Gungans for help but the leader, Boss Nass, says no). They get to the queen (Padme Amidala) and get her off the planet (this is where we meet R2-D2, an astromec droid). Unfortunately their ship was hit and they have to land for repairs.

They go to Tatoonie because it is controlled by the Hutts (like Jabba if you have seen episode 6). They don't have money for the spare part they need, so a kid they met (Anakin Skywalker) suggests they enter the Mos Espa pod race to win some money (he has already begun to flirt with Padme; we meet C3-PO, a protocol droid Anakin built to help his mom out; his mom and him are slaves to the guy (Wato) who owns the parts the Jedi need). Anakin just so happens to have been building a pod racer in his backyard. Gui-Gon Jinn 'convinces' Wato to free the boy if he wins. Anakin wins the race, goes off with the Jedi to become a Jedi (Gui-Gon believes this is a child of a Jedi prophecy, will bring balance to the force, was conceived by the force (no dad was involved in producing this kid).

They go to Corescant (entire planet covered in one city, home to the Jedi temple, Republic Senate, the so called heart of the galaxy) where the queen makes her plea to the Senate. They don't care all that much. A senator from Naboo (Palpatine, aka Darth Sidious) becomes leader of the senate (Chancellor). The queen and the Jedi go back to Naboo and take back control. During the fighting Qui-Gon Jinn is killed by Sidious' apprentice, Darth Maul. He is killed by Qui-Gon's apprentice (aka Padawan) Obi-Wan Kenobi.

He begins to teach Anakin the ways of the force, because Qui-Gon wanted it, even though the Jedi council (Yoda is there) are uneasy about it.

*didn't realize so much happened in one movie*

Episode 2-

10 years after Episode 1. Amidala is now a Senator. Someone is trying to kill her, because she is the head of some council that is bad for the CIS. Obi-Wan and Anakin go and protect her (more flirting on Anakin's part). Qui-Gon goes after a bounty hunter named Jango Fett after another attempt on Amidala's life. Found him on Kamino, where clones of Fett have been growing for 10 years. The clones are an army for the Republic, but the Jedi council nor the Senate asked for them (some Jedi did). The Jedi council wants to speak to Fett. He runs (because he was hired by a Jedi turned Sith, Dooku, who is Sidious' new apprentice (even though he is ancient)) to Geonosis (with his clone son Boba) where Dooku and the leaders of the CIS are.

Obi-Wan is captured. Anakin and Padme stop flirting on Naboo and go to Tatoonie to rescue Anakin's mother (who was sold, freed, then married). She dies in Anakin's arms; he goes mad and destroys the entire Tusken Raider camp (children + females). He is upset about not being strong enough to save his mother (this is where we see where Luke gets his attitude about hardships from). They gets Obi-Wan's distress call, sent it to Corescant and go and save him.

They get captured in the new droid army factories. Before they are killed, Padme confesses her love for Anakin. Anakin, Obi-Wan and Padme free themselves and some Jedi Knights come to rescue them. Here Jango Fett dies because of a Jedi named Mace Windo. They are all about to die when the Clone Army and Master Yoda come and rescue them. Anakin and Obi-Wan go after Dooku, but lose (Anakin gets his arm chopped off by Dooku's lightsaber). Yoda comes in and kicks his old apprentice's ass, but stops to save Anakin and Obi-Wan, leaving time for Dooku to escape.

The Clone War has begun; Anakin and Padme go to Naboo and get married. This is bad because the Jedi are not allowed to form relationships, it causes them to lose control of their reasoning and become Sith (maybe/eventually).

*is sorry if left out anything major, is trying to make a summary*

Episode 3-

The war continues. General Grievous has kidnapped Palpatine, Anakin and Obi-Wan go and save him. Anakin listens to Palpatine when he tells Anakin to kill defenseless Dooku (btw, it is against the Jedi way to kill, especially an unarmed opponent). All three escape down to Corescant.

Padme is pregnant, Anakin is happy. Anakin fears losing Padme during childbirth (has been having visions through the force, like those he had when his mom was being beaten). She says don't worry.

Obi-Wan goes after Grievous, while the council make Anakin a member (because the Chancellor wants it) but don't give him the rank of Jedi Master (if he was he could take on an apprentice, wouldn't be an apprentice to Obi-Wan anymore) Anakin is pissed. He learns Palpatine is the dark lord they are looking for, but since they are friends he doesn't turn him in (plus Palpatine says he can teach Anakin how to save Padme from dieing).

Anakin tells Windo about the Chancellor. Windo doesn't trust him, tells him to stay put. Windo and three other Jedi go to make sure Palpatine gives up his emergency powers (Obi-Wan killed Grievous, war is over). He says no, Jedi attack, Anakin shows up, sides with Palpatine in order to save Padme (kills Windo). Becomes Darth Vader, leads Clone troops to carry out Executive Order 66 (kill all Jedi). Only Obi-Wan and Yoda survive (Yoda tried to kill Palpatine but failed). They learn it was Anakin who helped destroy the Jedi Temple (killing the kid Jedi also).

Obi-Wan goes to Padme to find out where Anakin is, he learns Anakin is the father of Padme's child. He tells her Anakin is in trouble. She goes to him (to Mustafar, where Anakin was killing the leaders of the CIS/Sidious' puppets), Obi-Wan hid in her ship. She tells Anakin what she heard, Anakin sees Obi-Wan and force chokes (out of anger) Padme. Obi-Wan and Vader fight, Obi-Wan wins and leaves Anakin to die (no arms, no legs and is falling into lava). He takes Padme off to Polis Masa, where He, Yoda and Senator Organa learn that she is carrying twins and is dieing.

Palpatine shows up and rescues Vader. Vader gets suited up in the black armor that keep him alive. Padme give birth to Luke and Leia. Padme dies, Palpatine told Vader that Vader killed her, he goes into an emotional rage. Organa takes Leia to Alderann as his adopted daughter while Obi-Wan takes Luke to Tatoonie where is step-uncle and his wife are (Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru).

Episode 3 ends with the Emperor, Darth Vader and a young Grand Moff Tarkin over seeing the building of the (first) Death Star.

Star Wars in a nutshell:

Han Solo pwns the shit out of everyone.

quote:

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Originally posted by zumtream:
Star Wars in a nutshell:

Han Solo pwns the shit out of everyone.

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Aye!

quote:

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Originally posted by zumtream:
Star Wars in a nutshell:

Han Solo pwns the shit out of everyone.

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Behind every great man is a great Wookie.

(PS. I think it's funny that i read all of Torin's "summary")

quote:

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Actually, he didn't write that. I've seen it half a million times published by a reputable person on many news websites.

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1. I did make that report comparing Star Wars and the U.S. I tit not plagarize that report

quote:

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Originally posted by LogicalEloquence:
History 101, Courtesy of the Imperial War College:

The Jedi Knights are central to everything. They are an ancient order of royalist sorcerors that are vigilent about keeping their secrets unknown and a corrupt Galactic Republic in power.

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The Jedi Knights aren't royalists

quote:

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The Republic claimed it was about freedom and democracy and self-determination, yet it resorted to force to keep systems from peacefully leaving the organization. So, a group of systems had to band together and fight the Republic, and it's evil ways.

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HELL YEAH http://tinyurl.com/mvljr

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The CIS fought a heroic war of independance against the tyrannical Galactic Republic for several years before eventually yielding to the Republic's relentless military forces.

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I agree, but the CIS an dRepublic did atrocities, like th bombardment and depopulation of city-worlds like Humbarine

quote:

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The Jedi Knights were instrumental to all of this, helping along the forces of evil and oppression while they filled their own coffers through shameless war profiteering.

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Jedi can't make money, they can't attain possessions, etc. (at least the Coruscant Jedi)

quote:

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However, the Chancellor of the Republic, who happened to be the Senator from Naboo mentioned earlier, saw through their lies and deceit. He used the Grand Army of the Republic to finally arrest and annihilate the Jedi Order, bringing down their thousands of years of royalist tyranny.

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And replacing it with his tyranny, and the Jedi aren't Tyrants, they serves theGalactic Senate

quote:

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The heroic Chancellor himself was badly mauled in fighting with the Jedi, and this led to his disfigurement.

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possibly

quote:

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To insure that the people of the galaxy would no longer have to live in fear of the Jedi anytime in the future, Chancellor Palpatine created the Galactic Empire, a government free of the petty squables of the Old Republic, and secure from power-hungry Jedi.

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It does also practice things that people hate
Is the Empire Evil?
http://tinyurl.com/qhes3

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These Jedi manipulated the weak minded into forming a group known as the Rebel Alliance, a terrorist group dedicated to the sole cause of creating chaos and death in the galaxy.

In fact, the Empire has been waging a war against this group ever since. However, things have been difficult.

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Th eJedi didn;t form the Rebellion, Mon Mothma, Bail ORgana and Garm Bel IIblis did for the former loyalist Rebels, and there were the Outer RIm worlds, like Jabiim who were originally COnfederated, but helped the Rebels, like Togoria.

quote:

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The Rebels are not above thievery, extortion, threats and even murder to achieve their ends. Reports even indicate that their leader, one Mon Mothma, even engages in cannibalism and infanticide on those that refuse to back her cause.

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So is the Empire. The Idea that Mon Mothma is bullshit, and you know it. Imperial Propaganda

quote:

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On a side note: Space Ballz kicks Star Trek and Star Wars butts!p.

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Star Wars is your P.i.M.P.

quote:

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But why were the confederacy stomping around the galaxy trying to take over shit? I thought it was Palpatine that was the guy in the movie trying to do that

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Because the Republic is an inefficent, neglective, bigoted and biased, and full of shit. The Republic is dead, corrupt and so on. Look at Jabiim, where the Republic didn't care about them. Jabiim secedes, and guess what? The Republic attacks them to keep their ore.

Yes, PAlpatine is guding the war, it's not rigged just guided.

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What the fuck is the confederacy?

Are they trying to lynch ewoks or something?

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1. Tihe COnfederacy is a bunch of industried, star systyems and so on who wer epissed off at the Republic, and began to secede in mass 2 years before the Clone Wars began. They're mad at the Republiuc's inefficency, corruption, etc.

2. LOL

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But a dark Jedi (also known as a Sith)

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difference. Joruus C'Boath is a Dark Jedi, but not a member of the Sith. Neither is Desaan, or Hethrir

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They kill a lot of droids and make it to the surface of the planet,

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not a lot, they take doen some, a few actually considering the Lucrehulk's capacity.

quote:

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They go to Tatoonie because it is controlled by the Hutts (like Jabba if you have seen episode 6).

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By ANH, the Empire controlls Tatooine, but the presence is not disturbing the Hutts. Th eEmpire came to Tatooine to get the plans fo rthe Death Star, and ended up fighting a Rebel and Pirate Fleet in orbit, fighting Rebels in the Dune Sea and them Mos eisley.

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Amidala is now a Senator. Someone is trying to kill her, because she is the head of some council that is bad for the CIS.

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No, Gunray wanted Revenge for Amidala humuilating her at Naboo, and thqat she is opposing the Military Creation Act, creating the CLone Army for the Republic

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Yoda comes in and kicks his old apprentice's ass,

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More like a draw, Yoda didn't kick Dooku's ass but good fight though

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This is bad because the Jedi are not allowed to form relationships

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Not really. The Antarian Rangers, etc often intermarried with Jedi, etc. Jedi can marry, like Ki-Adi-Mundi, a Cerean Jedi Kniht but it is frowned upon. There are also the other Jedi Temples, liek at Bpfassh and Kamparas. Jedi could possibly marry there.

quote:

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Episode 3 ends with the Emperor, Darth Vader and a young Grand Moff Tarkin over seeing the building of the (first) Death Star.

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That's not Grand Moff Tarkin, he is at least a captain, given that there are Venator-class Star destroyers. At maximum, he might be a Moff now. THis is likely before the Ghorman Massacre. That's not a Death Star, either. That's the Captured CIS "Great Weapon"

quote:

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Star Wars in a nutshell:

Han Solo pwns the shit out of everyone.

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Vader and Fett pwned him in the Ewpire Strikes Back

bump

You're such a nerd.

Thank god I've still only seen one movie out of that retarded crap.

quote:

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Originally posted by bilb:
You're such a nerd.

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We prefer the term "futurist" but I like Satr Wars, so cvall me a Warsie

All you really need to know is that IT'S A TRAP, THE DEATH STAR IS OPERATIONAL!

quote:

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Originally posted by m0ckturtle:
All you really need to know is that IT'S A TRAP, THE DEATH STAR IS OPERATIONAL!

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Pull up, all craft pull up!!!

"Take Evasive Action!! Green Group, stick close to holding sector MV-7"
"Admiral, We have Enemy ships in sector 47"
"It's a trap!!"


[This message has been edited by Star Wars Fan (edited 03-17-2006).]

wow, star wars fan.

ps- that is a bad wow...

Well, the problem about discribing Star Wars is that Star Wars isn't just Theese 6 movies, it's also 100s of books. History going on for many 1000ands of years.. So, it can't be done really quickly

Oh btw, Star Wars Nerds pwns, as this video shows quite clearly http://tinyurl.com/mpj2k

quote:

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Originally posted by Noktan:

Oh btw, Star Wars Nerds pwns, as this video shows quite clearly http://tinyurl.com/mpj2k

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That's hilarious! +1 To t3h nerds.

quote:

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Originally posted by Noktan:
Well, the problem about discribing Star Wars is that Star Wars isn't just Theese 6 movies, it's also 100s of books. History going on for many 1000ands of years.. So, it can't be done really quickly

Oh btw, Star Wars Nerds pwns, as this video shows quite clearly http://tinyurl.com/mpj2k

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Not to mention the Clone Wars, video games, etc. It's the E.U.

2. exactly. All Your Base are belong to Star Wars

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wow, star wars fan.

ps- that is a bad wow...

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Any more questions

quote:

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Originally posted by Star Wars Fan:
Actually I did write that...

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Then how come it was in a newspaper by a columnist (I lack rememberance of the name of him) I recognize and know it's not you?

Edit : stupid, quoted wrong thing!

[This message has been edited by Cegstar (edited 03-18-2006).]

quote:

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Originally posted by Cegstar:
Then how come it was in a newspaper by a columnist (I lack rememberance of the name of him) I recognize and know it's not you?

Edit : stupid, quoted wrong thing!

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What is the column, type a smapp portion if possible

bump

Yes, The second trilogy *Stars Wars: A New Hope ) took inspiration from the writings of the noted American mythologist Joseph Campbell- specifically his work "The Hero with a Thousand Faces". And the radio adaptation (great stuff) during the 70's used elements of spatial manipulation that would be used in the THX surround sound systems 20 years later.

quote:

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Originally posted by zumtream:
Star Wars in a nutshell:

Han Solo pwns the shit out of everyone.

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Huzzah!

Wow this thread is funny as shit...

Oh and everyone knows that Jabba the Hutt pwns everyone with his gangsta-ness.

quote:

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Originally posted by Kleenex:
Star Trek and Star Wars both suck.

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BLASPHEMEY!