There are times when i think im being watched but who doesn't have that feeling every now and then, but along with being watched I am starting to hear voices along with the feeling that im a guinea pig and everything I do is setup as a test. I've seen and heard people talk about me as if im not there but they would be in a different room with no real worries of me hearing there conversation.(they would refer to me in a weird context whenever I heard them speaking of me) I came to realize that they do this because I used to not be able to hear them talk about me because somehow they made me ignore them. Recently I've heard them talk about me because ive been smoking weed daily, you may say its all a dilusion and that im paranoid but I've smoked weed for 3 years and this has never happened to me. one line that i remember clearly is "And you thought smoking weed doesnt affect there awareness." There was more to that conversation but the next day i could barely remember that one sentence. Im going to refer to the people who i believe are spying on me as tormentors because thats what they are doing I am about to lose what sanity i have left. My tormentors have just noticed in the past week that i know of there presence and they have been trying to make me "forget" about them by altering my memories. To make sure that i dont forget about these instances i began recording what would happen in notepad but whenever i would try to recall what had just happened my thoughts would get garbeled and i would get very tired and at times it would feel as if i was being elecricuted very slightly in both sides of my chest. It is very difficult to right this and its taken me about an hour but i cant think straight and its difficult to type at the moment. There are many more things i have to add but im going to have to do it in increments at a later time. i will elaborate on how im being tested on on my next post.

Congrads, you have reached Aporia, the suspicion of control. You have begun to notice the archons.

Read my thread, conversastions with god's twin for further info on my theory behind the archons, my belief.

those pesky archons, they get you every time.
I*Phantom
p.s. when you do go "all teh way crazy" please kill me last.

I read your story and i hope that is the truth, but I am being drugged. i know this for a fact. I have just come to realize how my memory is being twisted and contorted to benefit my tormentors will, there are trigger words which make me lose my memory. there are different words for different occasions and times.(From now on im not going to worry about pensmenship, cant explain.) I know i am being drugged because i remember that once when i "started" to smoke out of a bowl i looked away from the bowl for an instant then when i went to smoke i had the urge to look down it took all my will to do it but when i did i saw a small blue tab,not a pill but a blue paper tab about the size of a centimeter. Then my mind went blank but slower this time then other times and it was gone, and then i heard a voice but i couldnt concentrate on it or anything but it sounded as if one person was criticising another for there recklessness because the person didnt hide the tab completetly. This memory has been the hardest to hold on to because its the only one i have of visual evidence i cant even remember wat day this was or guess what day it was near.
Now to explain how i think im being tested on. last weekend I was playing pool with my friends. I smoked two joints between three people and during the time i was smoking i noticed there was tension and apprehension whenever one of the joints came to me, then i noticed that what i was smoking didnt taste like weed and it wasnt burning like it either. When i subtly made my realization known as if i havent figured out that i wasnt smoking weed by making faces or coughing in a weird way i heard one of my "friends" say he knows its not weed then i felt weird for a second and the next joint that came to me was weed. during the time i felt weird i realized they must of switched the joints and done somthing to my memory. we smoked in my friends car before we went to play pool, we were in the parking lot of a billiards and on the way in i heard my other "friend" say he knows and at that moment i had the horrible hallucination that one of them put there hand in my mouth then pushed the top of my mouth as if there was a button, but im not completely sure about that last part because i believe that memory was my subconsiousness trying to make me realize that at the moment my memory was being altered. the next moment we were still walking towards the billiards as if nothing happened, i noted it in my head and kept walking. as i was plaing pool i felt as if something was expected of me and i was hearing peoples conversations from other pool tables . AS i was playing pool i noticed that during one game the balls kept getting set up in extremely unlikely setups almost everyshot was a trickshot and once,every pocket had two balls poiting to the center of the pool table once i noticed this i tried to hide my suprise but failed and the first time i realized a trigger word was used to alter my memory. I cant type any more right now need a break.

[This message has been edited by antistupendous (edited 03-18-2006).]

Both of my posts have been tampered with, there are inconsistencies in both that I know were not there, for instance I know the first couple of sentences in my first post were perfect but as I reread them I saw that there is information that I know I put down is missing

I wish I had the time to tell you about whats happening to me.

If you get a chance post a topic about it I would like comparing what you gone through with what I'm going through I have to figure out what is happening with me before I go mad.

I think it's safe to say that antistupendous and Ophidian Sumerian Dildo are the same person. Schizo, possibly? Meth? More likely.

Well mister antistupendous,it seems the last horse has crossed the finish line...

You see,its people like you that know too much information that need to be silenced.but you see thats just last resort with determined people that insist on blowing the "archons" cover.we just tend to make you more..."ignorable" to the rest of society so no one will listen to you.

We make you seem crazy and insane.we fuck with your mind and put drugs in your food.we watch you people-twenty four seven.

you see,human society needs to be controlled by the archons-humans are very inferior and low to the rest of us and we intend to keep it that way by continuing to brainwashing you all through media and the government...as you know we have infiltrated every aspect of your society,there is no where to run,no where to hide.we watch and control you all...

expect a visit from one of our associates soon enough.

good day mister anderson.

^Its ignorant close-minded people like you that augment the slavery bound in society's makeup. Did you ever consider the possibility that you are under control? You think your free but your not. When you pick up a can of coke and take a sip you think that you did that but you didnt. Your psyche is integrated in a system of control. Conspiracy theorists, governmental agents, masons, democrats, republicans-they are all the same. Systems of slavery. Why do I believe in them? Becuase I can see them, hear them, talk with them, kill them, and be killed by them. The key is thinking for yourself, and its only possible when you accept that anything can happen.

"one of them put there hand in my mouth then pushed the top of my mouth as if there was a button"

I've had that dream before. Seriously.

And. This may be hard to take. But I've lived the way you described for about 4 years now.

It's reality. For now. It will get better, times are changing.

What you're saying is dangerous and radical.


I think the beings you talk of are your catalysts. You need them to grow. They will go away when you stop needing them., they are only here for spiriutal evolution no matter how twisted the experience may begin to seem. You chose to create it and then experience it in this life so it's all happening for a reason.

You will move above.

I think more and more people are going to be awakening soon. Alot, and they will join each other in consciousness and self realization, this will empower that population.

Get this.

I have a lot of stories like yours, I can't remember them all so bare with me.

Weed has something to do with this whole process. It makes you sensetive to higher reflections or realizations, somehow. Spiritually it's refered to as the healing plant, go figure.


I start to get personal. I'm contacted. I don't know what to call it. But you know the point. When the thoughts in your mind beging to get strange and sort of paranormal. When the potential begins for a type of occurance, you have to let it happen by running into the same thought pattern that creates it everytime. Trust me. It's the person that creates it, I had a problem with doing that in the beginning. You're concsiousness is like a snowball rolling downhill, all you have to do is push in the wrong direction and everything will become distorted out of proportion. Keep things in control and take control back right before it begins to happen and everythings ok.

You are not crazy, but you are not fully understanding what's happening to you. There is nothing out to get you, there is no danger. You can ignore these occurances and move on and live an acceptable life, to the population.

But if you want to deal with them you really can't do it interactively, they only exists in the hosts you speak of once you're actively observing those hosts. Until then, they're never in view to be percieved. They do exist in other areas of life. Other than the personal section where you become anxious and paranoid, around other humans who are not like you. You have to learn to except yourself and others. You can't force a change, but it will happen on it's own. So everytime you think something is being pulled over your head. Just continue on with what you're doing. If you can, simpy move to another completely different situation. If you're feeling up to it, begin to consciously contact them everytime you feel them near (and you feel them everytime, right in the center of your being), and simply display your belief.

This is a story about an occurance that happened to me, one of them, just one that's recent enough for me to remember a few months ago. I've gotten better at, not ignoring them, but simply listening to the better half. We're all smoking and very high..stoned. Not too long ago. We're in someones garage.

Three or four people are standing around a work bench loading the bong.

I'm just randomly in thought not paying attention to anyone, I tend to go into a quiet and still meditative state when I get a good high. I don't laugh too often, enless I'm laughing at something I realized, and I don't "party", I just think.

I'm told various things, just thoughts in and out about tests. I could predict things occuring, they will prove that this is real and not a dream. I will have to make sure because I always want something more to make sure, they will tell me the words about to be said before they are actually said by the person speaking.

After the random and impersonal psychic games I play, I get to the point that always comes. Where they scare you. They show you the most horrible hallucinations, just to see if you flintch (read the bardos of reality after death(tibetan book of the dead)), because if you can stand to look at the truth, it will let you go. In truth I believe, this interior consciousness which personalizes all events that occur, and all things people say really only exists in each of our minds and is there to show us the light when we can't do it consciously ourselves. It's like a back up system, if you die before enlightenment you're memory is scanned and every exprience re-enacted to ensure that self-realization is complete. The nasty ones are shown especially , so that the worst can be delt with just as all the other expriences must be. They're not all bad, but if you tend to have a guilty concience (impurity?) it will genuinly reflect just that right back to you. I've always thought of it as a mirror that returns only the truth no matter what you put in front of it, and the truth can be brutal.

But anyway, the hallucination appears, it's me, it's a memory. A memory of where I let my life go. There's demons. I tell them to come inside. They take over. I just watch and enjoy the gruesome company. I then make the connection to the events in my life which examplify this and I'm kind of thrown into a state of shock. I see that happening. And then I see it actually happening when I re-live memories of recent events. I had gotten to a low point in self-control, this was like a wake up call.

I'm stuck.

I'm contacted now. They ask my if I'm ready to move on. I now that this is just my internal guide, the sub-conscious all knowing God source inside of my waiting and waiting for me to be ready to break out of my shell and evolve. It is here, yet it waits for specially strange times like this where many things happen all the time, so that this lesson can be produce through the most divine and perfectly "timed" manner.

I can't reply with a conscious thought. I and know this is the worst thing I could do, I feel the anxiety rising. Once Again.

They're still waiting.

I do nothing, just frozen.

Then someone walks over to me.

I look at them in the eyes. They're not normal. I know they know what I've done. They don't look like they like it.

He comes over to me. Starts banging on the table that's about 12 inches away from me. Just looking at me the whole time creating this entire beingness disturbing banging sound without showing any sign of stoping. I was is deep meditation before this, so this was like getting woken up with a bucket of cold water. He scared the shit out of me. I didn't know what happened and literally had to second guess if this was a nightmare.

He walks away. I didn't know what just happened. Then I realized the joke. It was put on me again, it's happened before. I'm the center of the joke. Again. But I have to use this to grow, I can now, but at the time I was just scared that some beingness inside of me (or inside my head at that exact moment) could alter reality so much and with such perfection.

No one changes. I look back to the spot I was steadily gazing into before. Continued silence. I'm afraid to look up.

Everyone begins talking again.

No one says anything about what happened. But they do.

They say things. They say things about what they're saying. Just to make sure that they make the realization of the fact that they are diliberately not speaking about what just happened. So that I get the full effect of it.
.

These are only the bad parts of life, and they change into good once you are ready for it. Just change your life and you will know. You are deserving of these experiences, you are. You can live above the ignorance that these realizations of hate, deception, and conspiracy creates, but you have to stop giving into those feelings first. You are creating them, the anxiety and pain of the situation, it could be funny if you think of it.

If you think of it laughing at it would be what a lot of people do, on weed they have these realizations but have no higher purpose in their daily life to show them what they might mean. So they just create a simply little knot of confusion, and then the persons just laughs at the situation.

You find it serious, and take it personally, most people would say that it could never actually be happening and they are simply smacked and confused. But for some reason you're able to use it and consciously understand what it may be about.

You take it to a paranoid level and I believe this is what's creating these events. Personal interjection and uncontrolled thought streams. You really could be hearing them saying different things in the background or other rooms, put it this way, the very fact that you listened in shows that you wanted to hear what you heard and that it was needed.

But in reality, I think it's just a type of spiritual device inside us that transforms the modeling clay reality of the phsyical and third dimensional into an emotional and logical journey.

I never thought anyone in the world suffered, yet was blessed with a curse like this.

It showed me many things, above and beyond. Then it beat me and pushed me down into a small square box called earth life. Soon I'll get out.


What we could learn if direct interaction was possible.

Edit: You have balls for being able to say this. It is very possible for those two people to be the same. But I doubt they are.

One person who's plagued by his gift.

While another is lifted up into the above by it.


Lol, to the guy that said expect a visit from us soon.

It's just like the bible.

They can't hurt you. They can't even touch you. All they can do is follow you around and tell you or show you what they want to.

You can either take them and learn. Or listen and believe them and become ignorant. They are catalysts.


No one can imagine how much intense radiations I'm feeling right now. I've been reimbersed. I know where I fit in with everyone else. I mean I knew before. Only I thought no one had gone so far down the rabbit whole as I, I suspected many many people have, but not people on computers and totse. Jesus. We must be everywhere.

Think about it, if people are awakening and reaching totse, how many will there be by next year? 2008? 2012?

It's great. Yet it's horrible because now I can only imagine you're position in life.

Just know that you're working for something. All this is planning and preparation for an event. Pray. You need to pray, to one God. Simply because the bunches of brutes that are listening in on you can't do anything to stop Him from hearing what you say, and think, and want to do.

These are moments of seeding awarenesses. Right now. What are the chances of this synchronicity? Likely? Beautiful? Dangerous?

There is a group of watchers out there though. There are many groups of watchers.

But there is a group which only waits for our destruction.

Our self-destruction. They're too weak and inoperable to work physically. Yet their psyche is nasty.
Just woke up from an intense dream, walked on the computer. 11:11.

[This message has been edited by ate (edited 03-19-2006).]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ophidian Sumerian Dildo:
^Its ignorant close-minded people like you that augment the slavery bound in society's makeup. Did you ever consider the possibility that you are under control? You think your free but your not. When you pick up a can of coke and take a sip you think that you did that but you didnt. Your psyche is integrated in a system of control. Conspiracy theorists, governmental agents, masons, democrats, republicans-they are all the same. Systems of slavery. Why do I believe in them? Becuase I can see them, hear them, talk with them, kill them, and be killed by them. The key is thinking for yourself, and its only possible when you accept that anything can happen.

---

HA-ha just fucking with you,lets go smoke a blunt nigga.

I just look past all that stuff antistupendous said and things said in Ophidian's post about conversations with gods twin or whatever, so when i notice people struggling with this problem, it sometimes becomes quite entertaining when people realize what is happening and attempt to fight back, because peoples foolish antics are not a threat to my conscience because i have been at both ends of the spectrum. So Basically, it's all fun and games, lifes short, ya know?