where the fuck can i get one that works and for cheap??? are they that rare?

How bout from the magical unicorns at the end of the rainbow. You can definately find one, you can definately find a working one, but there is no chance in hell that you are going to find a cheap one.

A cheap Thompson? Even when you could but them in hardware stores and gun shops during the depression they were around 200 dollars. New Reproduction Semi auto-$800. The real thing is going to be in the 4 figure range depending on condition.

I'm not really taking oakiee seriously here but...

Anyways,

Thompson M1 (collector) - $5,000.00 http://www.gunsamerica.com/guns/976216543.htm

Thomspon M1 (cheaper) - $925.00 http://www.gunsamerica.com/guns/976236419.htm

Thompson M1 (Auto Ordinance?) Model 1927 - $475.00 http://www.gunsamerica.com/guns/976244222.htm

Not sure if these are OEM or knockoffs. I'm not the thompson expert. But that should give you a idea as far as the price range goes. You'll also find one listed for $15,000.00

Note - these are all semi automatic. Fully automatic requires the firearm to be registered as a Class III NFA firearm (if you have no fuckin clue as to what the means or what is required do a search for my CLASS III NFA posts). In which case i'd expect a registered nfa thompson to go for up to 2X's the cost of the semi verision.