how can i suck my own penis or how can i get attractive women to suck my penis?

i can get an attractive woman to suck your penis here is what u got to do: go to the nearst bank, rob it, take the money, go to the netherlands where prostitution is legal, and buy yourself a nice dutch whore

I don't know how you can suck your own unless your double jointed, but heres how you get an attractive woman to help you out:
1. Get a peice of white chocolate
2. Wet the head of your penis with water
3. Rub the white chocolate on the head.
4. Let air dry.
5. Go to a bar or any place where there might be women.
6. Pick a woman.
7. Ask her if she would like to go get dessert with you.
8. Take it from there.

i wish my paenis were longer so i could suck it myself. easier that would be.