A drunk was staggering down the main street of town. Somehow he
managed to make it up the stairs to the cathedral and into the
building, where he crashed from pew to pew, finally making his way to
a side aisle and into a confessional.

A priest had been observing the man's sorry progress and figuring that
the fellow was in need of some assistance, proceeded to enter his side
of the confessional. But his attention was rewarded only by a lengthy
silence. Finally he asked, "May I help you, my son?"

"I dunno..." came the drunk's voice from behind the partition. "You
got any toilet paper on your side?"