THIS IS MY FIRST TIME, YES I JUST LOST MY NEW TOPIC VIRGINITY, SO DON'T FART AND ROLL OVER REPLY IN A WONDERFULL HEART FELT RAPTURE OF SUN BEAMS AND SHADOWS anyway here goes this is for the start of a new religion therfore there are a lot of variables e.g. what were called. who we hate and why . the dimentions of our god e.g. how many arms/nipples/genitals/STD's he/she has if we do sacrifices and what we sacrifice (i think prince would go down well with our gods digestive organs. but ultimatly i want to create a monster of a religion that will spread throughout the land rapeing and pilaging. incedentaly stealing from other religions is ok as long as you make it obvius and flaunt.cheers.

incidentaly what country is the clock set by because my watch says its 5:49

Ok our god? What about Gods, plural. Montheism sucks. We need a god for every interesting thing the Jehovah lovers would call sinful. Why don't we call it ARFARFARFism. Arf is a universally recognized dog noise and dog is god spelled backwards in english. As english is the language that rules the "civilized" world our religion must be recognized as the reverse of all that represents god in it's many forms, not to mention ours licks it's own ass and the ass of others on a regular basis. Looting, pillaging and cannibalism must be high on our list of steps to sainthood and the foundation for our first cannon, " Sainthood in 13 Easy Steps ($39.95 HB $13.95 PB)." We should attempt to offend the french right away as that will endear us to the rest of the world and we can begin our conquest from there.

[This message has been edited by Eldritch (edited 01-18-2000).]

I have a good idea for a religon.
It involves worshipping nature, no gods. There will be tons of religious holidays, and you have to use drugs for "ritual" purposes. I am thinking of a name for this cul... er... religon. The name has to have something to do with nature, but sound attractive.

You would have to have a name for your group to set yourself apart from other people, Like people in your reliegion could be called "The Chosen", and people not in your group, "The Unenlightend". Note that you will not acctually have to define what you were chosen for, who chose you, or what the others are unenlighted of, because people will just assume that it is something important. Also, It Is Important To Use Alot Of Capitals When Describing Things You Don't Understand. Such As, The Way, The People.

O420: Look to ancient Druidic practices for inspiration. They have a lot of the kind of stuff I'm sure you are looking for even if the tradition does carry some deitific figures. Hey, let's not forget the Druids practiced human sacrifice!

(Sacrafice is almost as funny as Cannibalism)

I GOT IT!
we don't just steal from every religon.. we BECOME every religon, its all based on what the individual person believes, with the exception that they recognize and obey a few key people (us) as their lords and masters. They can do whatever happens to please them at any given time, and take credit for it. If they wanna be ass-puckering J.W.'s thats fine, but that won't stop the satanic cannibals in the neighbors house from eating them alive, sort of throw everything into the mix, and the amalgom that emerges is the strongest, therefore the best religon. And if we dont like it we can allways try to start over.....

Yeah! That's great! Then everbody's sacred! And we get to be in charge. They all do whatever they want, but they have to obey us and wear the hats we tell them too. Now we just need to decide on a good hat. Miners construction hard hats with the lights are pretty cool. Hey what about beer hats? Combine 'em! Oh, wait a minute, I'm sensing a divine revelation here... That's it! SWISS ARMY HATS!!!! We can have a light, and a beer holder, and a corkscrew, and a srewdriver, and a knife, and a toothpick, and a taser, and a belt sander and a roach clip and a dead marmoset and a shrunken head and a microwave and a...

hats are one thing but what we really need is a religious script to quote patronisingly from. when i was 14 me and a couple of mates made up a religious text, altough it laked any real backbone the theme was sound. AND IT WAS CALLED THE BOOK OF GROS!!! evidently recreational drugs had a lot to do with this religious masterpeice "AND THEY DID PICK FROM THE RIZLA PLANT DEFYING GOD AND THEY DID ROLL, GOD REPLIED IN FURIOS ANGER AND DID MAKE ANY ENJOYMENT OF A FOGGY HEAD ILLEGAL AND SO MY PEOPLE WHERE PERSIQUTED FROM THEN ON" also we have to make it at least slightly nice so we can ensnare as many followers as posible and then remind them that they owe a several thousand pound membership fee. would godzzila be a bad god, surly there are thousands of southern americans who would belive the movies

No, no, we can make Jerry Lewis an avatar of an evil god and that's how we will offend the french. The religious book (cannon) is mentioned above, "Sainthood in 13 Easy Steps." We can sell people their own need to be saved. It's great. Now do you think we can work beastiality into this scam? That's REALLY funny. (but not as funny as Cannibalism)

[This message has been edited by Eldritch (edited 01-20-2000).]

We can sell people their children too! I could acquire a band of "baby-thieves" and on a "pickup" job (to work in the beastiality) we can have them rape the "baby-owner's" pets. Every time the baby owner(s) miss a payment we eat one of the baby's limbs (working in the cannibalism) and if they never pay up, we sacrifice the baby's heart to Elvis and wear the skull (as a loin protector) as a sign of victory.

Wow! We could really go somewhere with this! We could even have an entourage of extremely obese women to rub us down with Crisco regularly.

[This message has been edited by Nephandi (edited 01-25-2000).]

what's crisco? i like the fat lady angle but i still think we should desighn a god, i think he should give it multiple heads mabye 3 and a few extra arms like that indian god Kali, lets give it 3 left and 7 right so its lopsided and walks with a limp like a gangster the baby's skull loin cloth is cool but howabout animal body parts like neck of a turtle or arse of a baboon or why not just whole body of a baboon ther'e realy weird looking fuckers we could sell anotomically corect plastic versions for outlandish prices we could market it as a new dungons and dragons figure and incorporate some of the most well practiced batle tactitions into the religion for when the holy war starts by the way we need a religious malicia group to insight fear into the masses if were new we've a lot to catch up on like the spanish inquisition, a few fatwars here and there and not forgeting the pedophilia in catholic churches.

My "baby-thieves" can do the fear thing in their spare time.

Why not worship ourselves?
We could call ourselves hollywoods and make our subjects kiss our feet, etc

We could get all the celebrities to join and set the membership fee a night of passion with the leader who wants them. We could even make it so that our followers have to obey a master, no matter what they want them to do

SKMC: Crisco is a cooking oil in the USA. You're in the UK right? We need to discuss our international chapter houses. I think the swiss army hats are our essential weapon of war. The many gadgets can represent the many arms of our god.

Just found out the Scientologists have been doing my idea for years!

The crisco is an excellent idea, but we really need to do more to piss off the french, I was thinking something like doing all of the toilet plumbing up with wine that we have liberated whilest raping animals and stealing babies. The added bonus there (besides REALLY ticking off the french) is that whenever a dog drinks from a toilet, It gets smashed and propogates even more beastiality and possibly starts a few holy wars that we can fight in....

[This message has been edited by Jadedfool (edited 02-02-2000).]

Some of this sounds like Setianism, my "officail" religon. Setianism has been villified by christians who call it "satanism". So there you go, Satanism has nothing to do with worshipping Satan. Satan Worship, on the other hand is something completely different.
Personally, I worship Megumi Hayashibara and Yoshoyuki Sadamoto for my religon, with Hidaeki Anno as the jesus-like savior.

the french already do the rapeing animal thing. lets just take away their nucular weapons.

SKMC, do you actually pronounce the word "nuclear" the way YOU spell it (nucular) or do you pronounce it the way it is supposed to be pronounced (and, coincidentally, the way it is actually spelled)?

In other words, "Neanderthal" or "Evolved Human Being"? Take your pick. No hurry, there's no competition for your slot in the climb for evolution.

[This message has been edited by Nephandi (edited 02-02-2000).]

that whole things comes from the neanderthals in public office calling it nuke-leer instead of new-clear.. so really you can't blame people for a little bit of ignorance on the topic...

Or "nuke-ya-ler".

True, though. I just thought I'd take a stab at him while he was exposed. ;-)

i'm dslyexic you lepper

Now I KNOW that is a lie! You spelled "nuclear", phonetically, without a problem (nucular). At least, phonetically, compared to the way a rough 75% of Americans pronounce the word "nuclear" *shudder*. And you seem to show no signs of dyslexia in your previous posts, just signs of bad grammar and spelling, perhaps some laziness too.

Look up dyslexia before using it as an excuse.

At least he doesn't wear cheap maryjanes with an asian dress and falsies.

Heheh. Well, it obviously gets the effect I'm looking for.

I blame all the bad grammar in the world on Bob dole.. just cuz

Jumping back to the new religion....you must have love gifts featured each month. Like for the upcoming month of March, you can feature a special pendant hand crafted out of silver and chicken bone, blessed by ancient deities for the power and protection of the wearer. Advertise it as a Free gift for people who send in a "love offering of $50 or more!"

The more also should dictate how the pendant is sent i.e.. $50 minimum gets it sent out on the next cattle car when we feel like getting our asses up to deliver it, as opposed to the $5,000 donation, which get's it shipped overnite, due to the piousness of the sender..

hmmmmm, let's define this love offering thing a bit more, shall we?

And what, my dear Eldritch, would you like to know about the love offering? Take a small peek at the TBN network....it's chalk full of love offering paraphenilia!!!!

We have to be careful with the sacrificing though. Before we go out and start it all, make a very complete list of who shall be sacrificed, otherwise we just start sacrificing random people on those slow sunday afternoons cuz we're bored out of our heads, I'm not saying it wouldn't be fun but it might sort of reduce the efectivness of our control

Let's see... hmmmm......
Clinton, Gore, Jaded, Busch, etc...
(jodai jodai tebal!)

[This message has been edited by otaku420anarchy (edited 02-15-2000).]

Acia: Heh...

okay, thats cool, as long as I can go last, so's I can hang out at the party, suitably embarass myself, and jump into the flaming pyre like any respectable ego-manic drunkard....

Hmmm..........
That sounds like a good idea.
*Rolls around on the ground and does such a thing*
*cough* I can't really reccomend it...

God and nature...whats the difference? There ain't none. Nature is god and god it nature. Nature is the mechanism by which god establishes and operates the world.

No no no no no.. your doing it all backwards.. first you have to get drunk and have depraved sex with gorgeous women/men/goats/trees/shopping carts, then it suddenly all falls into place.

Fred...While what your saying may actually be somewhat valid, if we acknowledge anything else besides ourselves as gods, then we don't get to squabble over the love offerings!

No religion is complete without a ceromonial chant...
~Thinks for a moment then starts chanting ORGY! ORGY! at the top of his voice until he falls out of his chair and gets high from oxygen deprivation~
I LIKE this religion...

[This message has been edited by Ancisace (edited 02-16-2000).]

Dibs on the women and shopping carts.

*shouts at top of lungs*
WE'RE PLAYING X-GAMES... BUT NEKED SEX GAMES!!!!!

Collapses on the floor next to Ancisace...

~~

As long as I get the trees

*gurgle gurgle sigh*

Jaded, Eldritch, let's have an orgy.
*takes off his boots and they sit in a circle and touch their feet*
Ah, the true meaning of orgy...

gotta get over the foot fetish thing man.. yer freakin' me out

So we have the basic structure down, but we need a way to keep people coming to the church. I figure something having to do with altering substances and free distribution thereof. Look at it this way, we copyright all states of inebriation as the sole intellectual property of the church, and work it around to be one of the mainstay means of revenue for our church. We get a percentage of all the sales by the various alchohol companies, and we start our own distillation plant, which is cheaper due to lack of taxing by us. We can also set up chapters in various countries to grow and export various other substances, relatively harmless stuff like mushrooms, weed,etc.. and sell it retail with customer service and quality guarentees, we make tons of cash, the inebriated millions keep coming back for more, and we get all the love offerings we need!!!!!!!!

Jaded: It's the real meaning of orgy.
(pronounced "oh-r-gee")

yeah.. but is that the real reason you want to touch everyone elses feet??

Don't touch my feet. They're sacred now, and pure.

careful man.. yer gonna get the love offerings for your feet...

otaku, why didnt you invite me to that orgy?

Boots. All the time. Stay away from my feet. I request fresh love offerings that are foot fetish free.

Shame. I lurve that giantess thang...

Screw with your boots on. It's spiritual.

i think we're all ignoring a very VERY important factor of this religion. like a fraternity, there's got to be SOME kind of initiation rituals. i mean really, if you didn't have some form of screening process, then you'd have a bunch of jerks running around trying to revolutionize the church, like what happened with the stonecutters. *ahem...sorry...simpsons reference* anyway, their initiation rituals ovbiously were not enough. i suggest a very violent and brutal robbery of each person's analvirginity. unfortunately, a lot of aspirant members will already have undergone this process. in this case, we need to have a few fallback plans, such as ear and mouth virginity, and (for that weirdo with the fetish) foot virginity. if, by any chance, an aspirant member has already completed all of these, that person shall be accepted and placed in a position of high authority, and then promptly hanged. just a suggestion.

Initation? See my above two posts.

sorry...i hadn't realized that "screwing with your boots on" was intended to be an initiation. i thought that was part of the regular activity of the religion. damn, now i'm disappointed!!!!

Of course requests to be re-initiated will be accepted. Everyone can initiate each others brains out.

huh, I thought the initiation was getting sodomized by the boot.. now what the hell am I gonna do with all this shoe polish?

shoe polish? *waaaay too interested* hmmm sodomizing with boots...heh i guess that would take "give 'em the boot" to a whole new level...

Everyone will need to keep an eye out for u!

No no, you wear the boots on your feet. Better traction that way. You need that to balance the big goat head mask.

That still doesn't help with my shoe polish surplus..

hey, that wouldn't happen to be the giant green goat of hibernia beach would it?

the goat head is only a mask? *disappointed* okay...we've still got to find some use for a bunch of shoe polish...maybe we can market it as a new kind of lube...HEY what we'll do, is we'll cover our boots in shoe polish, and then sell them as pre-lubricated condoms. good plan huh?

Sorry, my actual Platypus head freaks people out so I wear this goat thing. I think Lube with polish works. Colored Anus' (Anui?)are funny.

anuses possibly? heh...platypus head that RULES. shall we have ritual healings in this religion? *pray with me my people, we can be SAVED! testify! this man has split ends on the end of his hair...let those split ends be healed!*

(open mockery of faith healing, for those of you who did not notice)

*holds up safeway bag*
I just got like 20 some random octopii.. any use for 'em?

OCTOPI!!! you guys are classic! hmmmm *puts on thinking cap* WHAT can we do with octopi??? their tentacles have those sucker thingies on them, don't they? i'm sure those could prove quite useful...substitute for oral sex?? or we could have octopus orgies, if we cover each tentacle with one of our patented shoe-polish covered boot condoms, we could create some interesting sexual situations...

Throw them at the French. (see above)

as-tu un probleme avec les francaises? HEHEHE that's like, prolly the only french i could muster, and that was prolly wrong, so *sigh* we could put the octopi in tanks and watch them mate, and stimulate ourselves sexually that way...does anybody know how octopi mate?

yup

care to fill us in? or are you just going to revel in your knowledge of octopus sex, and not fill us in???

I know too. Now cuttlefish, there's a cephalopod (sp?) with interesting habits.

*interest* i'm always interested in mating habits...somebody fill me in, please! i'm sure we can include octopus sex into a religion somehow, there's got to be a way, we'll make it like communion, each week you have sex with an octopus or something, but pleeeeease tell me!!! i need knowledge...

I dont have a foot fetish. I just said I liked it. Its one of the nicer, more user-friendly fetishes......

Far as I remember, octopus sex involves the spewing of both eggs and sperm into the water and letting it mix into a nice little baby cocktail, maybe we can serve martinis with octopii eggs in 'em closest thing possible ta giving head to an octopus,and it might not taste so bad either...

MMMM octopus baby gravy [rubs oversised octopi engorged gut]

i like it! octopus sperm martini! niiiice! i guess that would tie in to the aforementioned free inebriation...i think this is all tying together quite nicely... muhahaha

So who is the spiritual leader of this cult(i.e. the person whom will have his/her picture displaid in the temple)?

We need some one who has made an important contribution to the creation this religion. I am only a minor figure in the creation of the religion, so I dont qualify. (

BAH! let's pick someone/something random to glorify and follow...how about a coatrack named bob? (i'm just trying to bust out of tradition here...all other organized religions do as you have suggested, and THEY all fucked up...let's see if we can't make a better go at it, right?)

Nah, coatracks have a tendency to get used, and I thought we were glorifying ourselves, worshiping ourselves with the lavish love offerings and all....

riiiight, yeah i forgot about that part, sorry i came late to this board, profoundest apologies for not remembering the earlier stipulations...*giggle* we should have a weekly topic review, no? well sorry gents, umm yes, maybe we could put everybody's name in a hat, and every day make a new draw, and the person who's drawn is glorified/idolized/effigized for a day...that way everybody gets to bask in the worshipping. perhaps we could have some sort of test, and whoever passes the test is eligible to be drawn for worship...

I like that idea, except maybe a bingo roller thingy with names instead of numbers on the balls, and maybe we should do the drawings weekly instead of daily, give a guy a chance to really enjoy his power over the rest of the mere mortals, but the inner circle should still have some control over the neophytes...

yeah, a week would be better than a day...i like the idea of the bingo roller thingy, or maybe we could have one of those things like on the game show networks, where it has all those little balls getting shaken up in a big machine, and then they get suctioned up this tube and shot down the pipe...yeah, you know what i'm talkin about...i agree that the inner circle should have some control over it...possibly you can't get your name put in for worship draw unless you've done some hardcore sucking up to one of the elite...and i mean SUCKING UP

wow, interesting topic...
i like the whole tacky bingo thing or the little lotto ball machines, but maybe we should incorporate something that only crazy religious freaks would think of like...
we pick the person to worship because we see ...their name written in the bark of a tree...
...or in piss on the public restroom floor...
...or our dog sparky told us thru telepathy...
-just a suggestion...

heh...that's really funny! how about we grab a handful of squid eggs (do they lay eggs???) and we'll toss them in the air, and then when they land, we'll have a medium come in and analyze them and stare at them, and read the message in the squid eggs, and tell us which member it best represents...

ohhhhhh... howsabout _octopus_ eggs instead, i mean, after our religious octopus ceremony we'll prolly have alotta eggs left over...
thus the weekly drawing...

just another suggestion

sorry i forgot it was octopi and not squid... but yes that was my intention...i think we should have some feedback on this from some of the other regulars...whom i haven't seen here in forever...perhaps i've insulted them somehow? hope not...tell us what you think everyone!!

I just got tired of cephalopods (SP?). How's about we beat a new initiate into submission with rabid badgers, bury them alive, and then we send an established initiate to dowse for them. If she can dig them up before they die she is the chosen one of the week, and may partake of the love offerings with us.

how about we construct this large, wooden badger...and then you, lancelot and i leap out...hehe sorry, monty python quote

how about, if the initiate finds them they partake in the love offering. if the initiate does NOT find them, they get fucked up the ass by a starving billy goat. (extra incentive to actually find the person)

Depends on the initiate, getting raped by the billygoat might be the incentive..

gooooood point jaded. i guess i was going off the whole "can't rape a willing" concept...but i know too many willings...hmmmmmmmmmm *ponder*
well...maybe we'll just shove flaming porcupines up our asses. just to be different.

Ok, good, the flaming porcupines are the "Antenna to the Gods," that truly make us divine and they must all bow when we wag then like puppy dog tails. We take the new initiate who then must be locked in a giant wooden badger until he is able to screw a starving Billy Goat into throwing Cephalopods at the French. Once completed we grant them their Swiss Army Hats and teach them the evils of the dark god Jerry Lewis and show them the path to redemption through degrading themselves for our pleasure. Then they may touch my goat head.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH ALL THIS GOD DAMN SHOE POLISH?!?!?!?!?!?!?


There's gotta be a way to work it in somehow

eeeeeerrrrrrmmmmm coat the cephalopods in shoe polish, i mean lots of it, and when we throw them at the french, the polish will splat in neat patterns, and then we can claim that we've seen the face of our divine being in the shoe polished frenchmen. we'll take pictures, and put them in our bible, along with a lot of porn and the lyrics to all the greatest songs ever written. my first suggestion: stairway to heaven.

My vote would be 'under the influence' by the chemical brothers, a song which consists of the following lyrics: 'i was under the influence' Good cult music...

how about tv party by black flag?

KMFDM : Flesh-

..when you peel back my eyes, I see the pain, and feel the lies...

The Penis Song by the Monty Pythons...

~Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis~

how about "do they owe us a living" by crass
and all the lyrics to novocane by beck, just cos i've always wanted to know all of them but never actually found them out.
let's not forget, crazy train, by ozzy ozborne

I have to agree with jaded on this one.

HEY!!! us female members don't HAVE penises. don't leave us out...if you're putting that song in there, we've got to have a song about vaginas too...how about moist vagina by Nirvana?

alright, we've got penii we've got at vaginii, now what else?? maybe smoke two joints??

Toys or the Sublime re-make?

what about us hermaphrodites?

you play 'em both at the same time!

The genitalia or the music?

play 'em if ya got em...

Just my token effort to keep this the largest, longest running, silly topic in the folder.

okay then, now we get to all choose our holy titles by which we shall be known and worshipped by throughout the lands....

I'm the first Executive Advisor to His Holiness sir toilet the third...

Either that or Guardian of The Xerox machine..

Lemme figure it out, anyone else?

Ah-ha then i shall be Sir Cunnie of Lingus defender of the fabled island of Lesbos.
and my crest of honour shall be one or more brightly coloured root vegatable or possibly a blue mango...
(hmmm ponders the possibilities)

Mine will be lord incest smith-smyth-smith, concubine to the great star chesse of orion....

Unless I find a better alternative, I'll just be Mah Good Ol' Self. As long as I get all the power and wealth that's sadly lacking in this lifetime.

I shall be:
Omnipotent orchestrator of the cosmos, Divine proprietor of the infinite, Lord of all that is leather, his divinity,
Lord ArfArfArf.

Holiest carrier of shoe polish covered Octopii.

I think our god should have wings on his chest, so that he can fly around and shit on people we don't like with relative ease.

I will be Craig, eater of all invertebrates

even the little leech guys?

where is my trusty steed?

*crys in grief*

I think it's dead jim.....

I can't believe after all the other topics that have come and gone, his one is still around.

I know, it's almost like a nostalgia thing.. but this horse is definitly glue..

Hey kids can I play? No really you guys are kind of reminding me of Discordians (no offense if you're not down with that) But anyhoo you're now all Fendersons sorry there's nothing you can do about it! (You can be adopted into the Fenderson family against your will, and once your a Fenderson your a Fenderson.)

Step one of our Cult practices: Have a, "How many cheese graters can we put in Riot Kids Butt?" Contest.
*hrmph*
Fenderson.

What happened to this free-sprited anarchy you people had in your religion. You need a Jihad or something to liven your religion up. To quote the Joker "This town needs an enema!" Besides since when is shoving cheese graters up someones butt a religious practice? Oh and ha ha I riled ya up!

You obviously know nothing of the ancient Indian art of Karmic Hampster Juggling. Cheese Graters are a very important religious icon in this most sacred of practices, and one's anus is also highly respected. As you can see our willingness to pound your ass with cheese graters is a great honor and a quick, easy path on the road to enlightenment and juggling larger hampsters. Your un-enlightened attitude saddens me and it is quite obvious to those of us who are truly awakened that you will never be able to weild the polished Octupus of Myctanticuttli. I feart in your general direction and now Jaded will destroy you with his infamous carnivorus ass fungus from the politics folder. All hail Maglubiyet the disembodied sphincter of the cosmos!

There's only one solution to your insolence I regretfully inform you that you've been excommunicated. Don't take it hard I'm sure the Scientologists will welcome you with open arms.

Eldritch what are you thinking when you want to defend a religion don't say "pound and ass" in the same sentence. Also don't threaten riot_kid with an ass pounding you sound like you worship anle sex. But you make some good points about the Hampster juggling but after you juggle the Hamsters do you shove them up your ass like Richard Gere is that how you reach enlightenment?
Supermankeytits out!

No no no, it is part of the mantra, "HooyaIkantbelievuguys!" Which opens up a worm hole into the anus of those who oppose my dark and furry gods, as a grand finish you chuck the hampsters into the worm hole where they become part of the Karmic Cheese Grater of the ages, and mark as an untouchable for the rest of your cycle.
Now Adam, in order to further explore the incorrectness of your statement I suggest you read "How to get laid in da joint" by
X. Convick
As far as exconmmunication is concerned Riot Girl, look to the beginnign of this topic. As you can see, I aam one of the founding fathers, patron saints, and all around Pimp Daddy Nigga of dis hood and you is da beyatch. Our inner council scoffs at your impotent attempts at manipulating our holy groove, and we dance the funky chicken in protest of your underclothes. I pee on your effigy and eat whole wheat crackers. I stay crunchy in milk. You will still be devoured by Jaded's ass fungus, beware the deadly sleep spores.

*puts on swiss army hat*

This Inquisition is now in session. We sit in judgement over the heretical actions of one riot_kid, who may or may not be the mentor of the second target of this court, the heretical "Adam The Gale" Who may be attempting to undermine our long held and sacred belief in the juggling of the mighty hamsters, and the ritual of grater sodomy passed down to us by the great one who is *unintelligable gibberish* who shall sit above all of us one day in great mirth of the plight of the wicked. I hereby call this court to session.


The accused will now stand forward and Identify themselves. Let them be forewarned, that any tomfoolery, jiggermuffering, or other unsanctioned acts of fun. After identification, the council of elders (not eldritch) will convene to tally the charges against these poor un-sodomized souls....

It is clear that the church has become corrupt. Ever since it's founding this churches proud standard of sodomy and octupus sex has shown forth like a bright light to all the masses. Unfortunately we have strayed from that doctrine and idled in the garden of abstinence from sodomy and octopus sex where our virtue has been stained I call for reformation and a return to our grand ideals of the past. We are not a movement of hate but a movement of sex, and possible juggling. But this is not the point the real point is what would our founding members say if they could see us now? (Yes I have read this whole thread and yes I did read the names of the original founders.)

Hi i'm Adam leader of the Secret order of the cheese log and I will take over your church!!!!!!!!!!

CHEESE IS LIFE

So you stand before us vile one. And your Mentor?

I am spokesperson for the "silent sect of they closer to mice than Him" we are ones
who look toward rodents for guidance,and pay homage to the easter bunny in all his rodenticity and splendor! We have no need of your religion for we have our own. However in the interest of empathy and acceptance I have come here to offer our services to you: Please be advised that at any time should it become neccessary or convenient for an adversary of the church to be consumed, we shall be at your holy disposal(going through the holy garbage-heard you're quick to dispense of cheesy and /or distasteful things)
and would be nothing less than as utterly
pleased as tom thumbs pie , to ceremoniously, or quick like a bunny flash-whichever deemed more appropriate-gobble up the infidels and w/o further ado , scurry away!!While we in no way condone the involvment of hamsters in deviant sexual rituals, so to we know that it is not our place to decide what one will do with ones self once one has left the haibtrail. I thank you kindly for the opportunity to address your heinousties
and shall now, take leave of you. Incedentally, I'm a bit hungry ,
Does anyone have any cheese to spare?
ooooh yeeeeeees!!!!!!yes!!!yes!YES!!!!!!
OOOOH... YEs...mmmmmmm...yes...why thank
you! That cheese was quite orgasmic! Thank
you mam thank you sir gotta go...I be eatin
cheese , I,m a rat. fade to black scent of rat farts whafting through the air........

I have just committed the rite of beer purity and am fighting the Holy Aura (Hangover, man I was sloppy drunk!) So anyhoo as I was saying return to the octopus sex that are the sacred roots of our religion and Mr. Gale is not my disciple he's more of a colleague we are door to door salesmen. Yes!

*belch*

Very well. Riot kid, having passed through the rite of the piss drunk, your sins are renewed, and you are once again accepted back into the order with open loins

*passes over swiss army hat*

You may now reside over the proceedings, I must go and vomit..


*staggers away*

Thank you Jaded, I believe it is now possible for us to spread our holy corruption to the ends of the Earth.

I would also like to thank Ancisace, because every time i go to this page, I see someone agreeing with me at the top, just makes me feel all good inside

*sniff*

Hey Jaded, just for you. I agree with you! Hope you feel squishy.

*jumps around*


weee-hoooo

I'd like to take a poo


squish squish


squish squish

*poke in the eye*

I would just like to say:
You're all insane. This is good, because if you do have a set-up for a church (Which, by definition is a 'congrigation of people' (I don't see any masses outside *peeks outside*) I don't really see any form to this. I mean...you don't really have a set holy document, do ya? oh..i'm still in quotes...) and it is a good set-up.
I suggest somewhere a overly extended and long-arsed religious follower's guide to the One True Religion (Less you consider other religions to be right...then you're just contradicting yourselves, again) post it on the web, and then link it to us. I leave it at the feet (ooer...i prolly shouldn't do that) erm...at the ... doorstep! of the founders...and stuff. Maybe a joint theory thing could go on. You know...really sprucen it up...add some parcley and some really original works like the Masons really working for the Wicca community to abolish slavory in the Dominica Repulic. None of this 'Baby left to the laws of nature' thing...i've seen too many...Moses, Sargon, that one chick over there in that one religion. Jeeze.
I just joined &TOTSE, and i'm prolly not very important in the eyes of the law. But still..i'm a good lil Discordian. And i feel it my obligated duty to steer you in the right direction.
And remember...
Diversify. Diversify. Diversify.

And i've got my own title, too.

Jarvious Ladimere Demachi, International Arms Trafficker #9024. POEE, POEH, I.G.G.L.E., Blue Lighter, KSC, ULC and newly refounded &TOTSE.
(But you can call me Jarvie)

I subscribe to a religion called "Seperationism". It involves the lack of a true established god, but entails the belief of a higher entity. Therefore, a religion devoid of establishment where people with countless different concepts of religion can share one belief. E-mail me for more.

ENOUGH


It is now time to plan for, the first annual, drunken octopus orgy. Please, let us keep these arguments aside until such time as all of our holy events are in place and running smoothly


*poing*

poing?

was that an octopus flying past the window?

something like that..

What kind of octopus was it? Are you sure it wasn't a squid? You know, the squid are our fated enemy. Bloody things look too much like the beautiful orgy-octopus, and they are jealous. Beware the evil squid, for it's powers, however weaker than the octopus, can still inflict premature ejaculations and sagging boobs.

Hail Eris!

-J-

lol jarvie

you know, jaded isn't known for being quick on the uptake. It could have been a squid.

Btw jaded, still wearing the fungus dress?

did someone mention octopuss????

nope, the fungus dress came off when I put some runs in the hose... ruined my chances of getting some...

how dare you question the authenticity of the
octopii, I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL

*poing*
*poing*
*frizzbit*
*poing*

"squizzbit"?


There was a giant yellow triangular character on childrens Tv in the UK when I was a kid called "Wizbit"

Maybe it was him you saw flying past

The drunken octopus orgy should take place on the solstice (that's coming up isn't it?) So we can have some sort of bizzarre druidic quality. (R.K. now folds out magnifying attachment of swiss army hat and proceeds to burn heathens). Fungal clothing while not mandatory is encouraged! Remember only you can start forest fires!

What about us that don't drink? I mean...you shouldn't be discriminatory towards anyone. It's just 'bad' and 'wrong.'
So...i propose we create a sister church...the Church of the Sober Octopus Orgifiers (or CSOO (The mating call of the Octopus))
Octopus number one: Csoo Csoo!
Octopus number two: Csoo Csoo!
See? The Octopi agree with me.
If anyone is a non-drinker, then join me...the sober bastard wearing the freaky-looking hat...as we orgify this Octopus!
*Csoo?!*
Get out your kazoos and join in the mating call!
Join now, and get our special Gold Plated Kazoo! A 20 flax offer!

thank you and Hail Eris.

-J-

well, the only problem is, we came up with a great portion of this religon while drunk, and I'm certain that some of us, i know i am, are drunk this minute..

however, I agree that you shouldn't be persecuted for it, so this is how it'll play out. You do NOT have to drink to join our church, however, drinking is a required rite to join in the inner circle. Sorry, but thats the way the cookie crumbles...

Is there gonna be a sign of the Octopus instead of a sign of the cross?
One for every tentacle:
In the name of the Jaded,the Eldritch, the RiotKid,the Jarvie,the Ancisace,the Nephandi,the SKMC and of the Dude.

PS - Sorry if I missed anyone out but there was only eight spots up for grabs.

No problem dude. I favor a proactive form of advancement in the church. I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to create a vacancy......

nope.. Jarvie can't be a spot if she's sober remember!

gotta be Suzie...

and I was so looking forward to killing someone to gain a place in the inner echelons..

*looks at self*
So...now i'm a chick?
Dude...what the heck? what did you religion people give me to drink that night?
*scratches his ...er...her head*
Man...those were some potent drugs.

I'm...gonna go pass out...cuz i'm not sure about myself, anymore...

-J...arvi...e-

oops, sorry, my bad meyn..

Goes to show that I really shouldn't drink the entire bottle of jager.. oh well

glugery gloogery grog

Suzie: okay, if you really want to, as long as it isn't me!

*happy again*

I would just like to point out:
My only alcoholic 'experience' was with Jaggermeister. And if i were considered toward the promotion of being the lucky 8, then i would, by all means, drink such an acoholic beverage, spit out ramblings about anti-squid propoganda, and pass out in my own vomit to meet the celebrations and ritualistic parties.
Also, i'd be willing to drink when certain 'enlightenment' is needed. But, fair warning, i will not drink for recreation, nor will i become an alcoholic.
My liver loves me, and i love my liver.

thank you,

-J-

Religion is NEVER recreation.. How dare you suggest such a thing. It is of course necessary to be totally drunk to gain the inner circle, however, since I was excluded, I'm just going to shoot you so I can be a member. Ok?

I have to side with suzie here. We use booze the way rastafarians use Weed. Copiously, and Religously..

I have been in the wilderness engaging in holy computer malfunction meditation and have mad a pilgrimage to a fellow sodomizer of octopii's temple to yell squizbit at all of the holy folk. Squizbit!

And lo, a church shall arise, and the holiest of holy words shall be Squizbit. Sinners shall fall down at the feet of the righteous upon hearing the word of truth, and so shall the righteous be brought above the earth and glorified among octopii

Squizbit(sku-iz-bit);
verb;
The act of sodomizing any form of aquarian life, particularly octopii

ex."I gave that fish a good Squizbit!"

noun;
The proper title of any member of the inner circle of the (insert our churchs name here).

ex. "We welcome the presence of the great Squizbit Suziegirl to our humble home"

adj;
A person who is extremely well endowed.

ex. "Damn, Jaded sure is Squizbit!"


btw, what the hell should we call this church???

I dunno.. something suitable obscure and important sounding.. like The church of latter day invertebrates.. or something..

I think we need a holy book too.. I mean, what's a religion without a book? a cult.. and we're not a cult we're a religion

kay, I'll get to work compiling what we have here.. but we really do need to have a name..

SUGGESTIONS ANYONE?!?!?

How about:
Ordo Templis Octopi?
or...
....nope, cant think of any others, sorry!

that works... we could even twist the illuminati pyramid fer our book... hey suzie, I'd do it, but since you seem to have actual talent, could you whip together a logo?

wow, someone thinks I have talent.. lol..

well what exactly do you want the logo to look like.. ?

So you're gonna kill me now, eh?
And you're going to do it in the name of <enter your church's name here> because the holy <enter your church's holy book's name here> told you to?

What's this about the Illuminati...?
*gets scared*

Hail Eris!

-J-

dunno, something with an octopus, Im just assuming since I seem to remember you saying something about doing graphic design professionaly, which is more then anyone else i know....

I do graphic design non-professionaly.
So that makes me better.
I like to eat squid. So that's another plus.

Vote for me!!

-J-

kay, whatever man... long as its cool....

actually, I don't do it professionally, but I probably will sometime soon..
I'll come up with something..

hey here's a thought.. we could have our own religious website.. could be v entertaining.. maybe enigma would even put a link from totse to us.. lol...

I could easily design the site, just would need help with content..

I would gladly help with the content!
When it comes to religious inspiration (i.e. semi-literate waffle) Im your hermaphrodite!

well I think the first basis for content should be the messages posted thus far... like, rules and regulations of our religion etc..

I've been kludging together a list of commandments and the basic hierarchy of the church, and as for the page, where are we gonna host it?

How about this:
We ALL send in a page for the holy book of our religion, we could call each page things like the book of ancisace, the book of jadedfool, etc

The pages could contain stuff like rituals, comandments, fables and stories of our ancient religion.

best yet, everyone could take part, although the major prophets would get the best places of course

I dunno where we're gonna host it.. plenty of places do it for free... preferably somewhere with decent URL's.. I would say freeservers, but for some reason I can't get to their hp at the moment.. any other ideas?

can I join? I humbly kneel in front of your ordinance and submit myself for a revision....I have lost all my faith in things sacred and things vile....yet no kool aid shit please. ....

I can dig the whole web page thing.
The Honest Book of Jarvis has a nice ring to it
Fables, folk-lore and rituals are cool. I'll dig thru my head for a buncho those.
Oh. and we still need a name.

The Church of the Eight-Legged Octopi.
Anti-Squid Propogandhi is welcome.
Please. Leave your shoes at the door.
Sorry, tho. Vallet parking is currently under *ahem* construction.

Thank you and Amen.

-J-

ok, found a place to put it for free with no ads or any of that crap... I'll see how this place works out, but it will do for now.. I'm now accepting content and any other ideas you guys have..

For now, it appears the ruling council is,
Jaded,
Me,
Jarvie
Anisace..

any other random person with crap to contribute

oh yeah, I put the site at www.crosswinds.net/~octopii

although you might as well not go there because there's nothing yet..

oh yeah, and you can email stuff to octopii@crosswinds.net although I dont' know if it works yet...

*update*

yep the email addy works..

if y'all want to send me text files for the book of whoever you are etc, then I can put them up.

Any one with a decent amount of religious words can have their own "Book"

We'll all get to work!

there... appriately ominous...

just think.. in a few years hence we have two options. Either we've created a highly successful religion based on octopii, or noone has ever heard of us and we've all gone insane.

Hopefully the former, with a franchise attatched so we all get rich

Everytime i get a good parable and a good idea of things, my stupid computer crashes. And don't tell me 'Save lots' cuz it'll go down in the middle of my first paragraph.
I think i'm going to rely upon the written text and then transfer it over to Word Pad.
So it may be a while...cuz i write slow.
*grins*

The Book of Jarvie.

-J-

Don't tell me you guys aren't going to come around anymore!
We've started a beautiful thing and you've just blocked it off??
*sobs*
Please...come back...

Sorry I've become a bit of a night owl lately out sodomizing octopii and such. Wink wink nudge nudge. so anyhoo if anyone has had any interesting religious experiences lately post 'em! Me I'm going to go try to sort through the interesting mess that is my social life.

I'm still here.. just didn't have much to say right now..

yoyoyomama

Obviously we shall be the Squizbit Dei. All will be well with the Well endowed Cephalopod fuckers of God(s).

Squizbit?

What does octopii have to say about all of this?

They're having just as much fun as we are...

duh...

What is the meaning of life?

*beats the shit out of puke monkey*

*stuffs the shit back into Puke Monkey with a snail fork*

*flosses puke monkey's teeth with the pubic hair of a cheese-encrusted, leprosy-stricken, syphlitic frog using a pair of tongs and a piece of ABC gum*

pain.

Has anything been going on in the past couple of weeks or so? Found a webpage or anything? Just wondering becuase you guys are so funny, and we need to keep this thread going. Also sacred doctrines can be written in shoe polish and you can sell those for mucho money. And thats where having copious amounts of shoe polish on octopi comes in handy! And im in complete agreement with the beer aspect. You need to find a way to incorperate that into things. "The Sacred Ritual of the Alcoholi Octopi" or something like that? Just think of the orgy....umm...possiblities!

Hmmm.. I like the *SQUIZBIT* that you are trying to *SQUIZBIT*. I personally don't think we *SQUIZBIT* to *SQUIZBIT* our holy scriptures, but perhaps taking the example of other and older *SQUIZBIT* a canon would be a good foundation for us to build our *SQUIZBIT*. Perhaps after further *SQUIZBIT* our *SQUIZBIT* will *SQUIZBIT* your *SQUIZBIT*. Holy Founders, what say you?

[This message has been edited by Eldritch (edited 09-19-2000).]

*frong*
*wollop*
*zibbat zibbat*
agreed then?

sorry, i am only a mear mortal when it comes to these things. And i cannot possibly try to understand what you are saying, so please almighty *SQUIZBIT* respond in a manner, so everyone will be able to hear your glorious words!

We're all too drunk to type. And my cat is cute and fluffy!

Damn it what else to you think i mean by glorious! Hey you think you would mind passing some down to this end of the table
;] ;]
Come on you know you want to.
"Mmmm beeerrrr, akkkakckhh"

Do I get one if i have *SQUIZBIT* tatooed on my ass?

damn who resurrected this topic!?

You know if any of these new apostles would just take a day or so to read this whole topic they'd understand it all so much better.

Suzie: Heretic woman! You dare reference this sacred temple with exasperation! We shall *SQUIZBIT* you until the end of time! Jaded, quickly, make love to her ankles! I will prepare the sacred melon baller of socket love. Release the platypi! Fear the wrath of mighty *SQUIZBIT*!! Tremble and shake as the earth does under the rampage of our forsaken armies! Dark lords we salute you! Tha apocolypse rides hither and yon this eve! Repent sinners and loose all hope ye who enter here! The Sons of Midnight are dancing upon a razor sky and the spider of man has tangled in her own web!! Now is the time! Sieze the day and...

Oh, um... sorry about that.

*SQUIZBIT*.

-*squelch*-

Ahhhh...

[This message has been edited by Eldritch (edited 09-21-2000).]

suzie im sorry that would be me :]

Well i feel a little insulted, it took me forever to read that whole thing. Maybe i shouldn't of read it all at once. But to have *SQUIZIBIT* as almost every *SQUIZBIT* in the *SQUIZBIT* is kinda *SQUIZBIT* if you know what i *SQUIZBIT*?

this guy walks into a bar with an octopuss and puts it down on the bar top.
the barman says "why are you carrying an octopuss?"
the man "says this aint no ordinary octopuss this is a special octopuss. It can play musical instrument you can think of."
"bollocks" says the barman. "i'll bet 50 quid that it can't"
"fine" says the man.
this barman being a large, hairy, sweat stained leather wearing, degenaret, white snake fan brings out an electric gutiar and places it in front of the octopuss.
The octopuss looks puzzled for a second and then picks up the guitar and starts playing like Jimi Hendrix.
The barman is amazed and reuctantly hands over the money.
then from across the bar a "oi" is heard and a polish old man stans up and shouts "i bet you �100 that he cant play my acordian.".
"your on" says the man and once again the instrument is placed infront of the octopus. once again the octopuss looks puzzled and after a while picks up the acordian and starts blasting out music like (sorry dont know anyone who plays one) someone whoes good.
the polish man gives the man �100 and leaves later in the night a scotsman comes into the bar and says to the man "my polish freind told me about this octopuss of yours i dont wanna bet but i just wanna see it play me bagpipes"
"fair enough the man says" and puts the bagpipes down in front of the octopuss once again the octopuss looks puzzled then he picks the bagpipes and starts fumbling around with them.
the man says to the octopuss whats wrong? why arnt you playing it?
the octopuss replies "play it? what are you talking about, im gonna fuck it as soon as i work out how to get these pajamas off"

[This message has been edited by dub (edited 09-22-2000).]

*beheads Dub*

defiler...


*screws suzies ankles*

ahhhhhhhhhh...

*Releases the dreaded &TOTSE War Platypus*

*Begins touring about the skies on the moped of the apocolypse*

*Gives Jaded and Suizie's ankles some cigarettes*

*runs away*

help me, its going to nip at my ankles!

*runs behind the closest person*

*parks the moped of the Apocolypse*

Ok, now we need a nifty theme song. How about Dead Milkmen, "Taking Retards to the zoo?"

*looks around for a way to get on the moped*

Hey eldritch, come over here i something to show ya!

No, no, ahhh its the dreaded &TOTSE War Platypus. Damn were are the octopi when you need them.

*starts singing the song of the octopus*

[ and the adventure continues... ]

*Hacks Soullace in half with a rusty scythe and sticks the top Half on Jaded's Official "Pimp Caddy of the Holy Roller"*

Now THAT'S a cool hood ornament.

*Walks off whistling a PIG song and looking for nekkid octopi*

[This message has been edited by Eldritch (edited 26-10-2000).]

Oh no!

such a holy topic...

such defilement....

As a founder Father a Inner Circle member of the most Holy *SQUIZBIT*, I declare October 26th Offical, "Cut Solace in Half and use him as a Hood Ornament Day" A day where all shall put torso's on the hoods of their cars to rejoice in the the bountiful Harvest of Torso's that the *SQUIZBIT* has graced us with. In times of dreaded Torso shortage we shall use a slightly soiled cabbage.
I shall also declare Noverber the 1st, the day after that mosty holy of holidays, Halloween, "Tickle BarRoomHero with Squealing Piglets till he pees Day."
You don't have to be an Einstein to figure that one out.

And Barroom says: "Defiler"! Defiler? He can cast a "Dark Swarm" and make his leagues immune to your ranged "holy spears" as his zerglings melee superiority wreaks havoc unto thee!

Starcraft geek.
*Chucks squealing Piglets at DarkMag*

SO what do you high holy rollers think of instituting a Pig Branch of the *SQUIZBIT* in honor of Raymond Watts. I bet Pigs would be good for *SPLARCH* now and again, and Bacon stays crunchy in Mayonnaise.

*cums all over the floor*

*grabs eldritchs hood ornament and uses it as a jiz rag*

and yea.. it was good.

such defilement.....

*shits on a plate and sticks it in the microwave*

Since when did i say i needed some shampoo? huh?

*shakes his hair like a wet dog and sprays everyone within range*

*looks around for the other half of his body*

*picks up other half of Soulace and buries it in a mountain of salt surrounded by a lake of hydrogen peroxide*


how about the neophytes get the pigs and the inner circle get the choice of either octopii or pig?

hey, jaded

doesn't this belong in the DIY forum? Technically, this is a DIY thread. Should we grace Baked and Z3m with more posts in their crippled forum? It would be the "nice" thing to do, you know...

No No No, thw whole reason I keep posting here is to keep this topic bigger than Real's Christian God Topic. DUH, all taht is important is OUR GOD IS BIGGER!

Trying to preserve my body eh?

Hmmmm... salt.

Did we ever get round to formalising the hierarchy for us inner council memebers? I vote eldritch to be high preiest if we didn't...

------------------
This has been a true story: only the facts have been changed...

Eldritch, I'll thumb wrestle you for the head honcho position...

*desperately tries to keep this topic from sinking to be forgotten beneath the tides of time*

*stomps on the thread like Daffy on Bugs' head*

Down down down down! Die die die die!

Didn't get what you want Spiffy? Destroy what you don't like? (Frankly, I am not surprised)

*bops Lokil on the head with an oversized mallet*

how in the hell did this topic reach 10 pages?

*smites j0662*
because of people like you....

Is it time to bury this?

It was dead before you went and ressurected it...

Ah, irony..

*resurrects post again*

sorry.

Is there a way to work Tom green's "Bum Bum Song" into the plot somehow?

------------------
?<**&*(Me,Myself&I)*&**>?
Its only wrong if you get caught.--(??)There is a fine line between love and hate.--Me

stop profaning this holy place infidel

I call all members of the Church of the Sacred Octopi etc. etc. blah blah to worship. Now get on your knees and... (Hmmm... what comes next?)

Its got some good points, but most of its jabbering fools. I think the forum title is all that needs to be said. (to somebody other than these idiots)

What I think about all this bullshit is, that there is only one GOD and it is just everything positive in our world. "GOD" is just another word for HOPE, because, why don't people think of "GOD" when everything is going good in their lives.Why is "GOD" only brought up during bad times, because when we think of God we think of hope. that one day thing will be better.

Also I been thinking about this for a while now. Say if somebody is born into a christian family and is raised to beleive that christianity is IT and that is the real religion and everything else is fake and the person trully belives it. Well what if the same person was born into a musslim family or a jewish family, what the hell is he gonna think then.

OR what if the world is like the movie MATRIX (which I loved), but instead
of the computer controlling individuals its the government and the sociaty thats doingg the controlling, by telling us that drugs are bad or you have to go to school if you want to be smart and get a good job. all that is bullshit they are trying to use to control us like sheep. Drugs expand the human mind to other possibilities.that it doesnt have to be the same bullshit over and over, like being good and going to school and obeying all the laws so you can go to some expensive fucking college so you can get a degree and get a "good" high paying job and go to work from nine to five and pay your taxes like a good citizen so you wont go to jail and be "Free". THEN you teach your kids to be the same way and on and on. WELL thats bullshit, cause you are not free. You have to wake up at nine and take lunch at one and get of at five or six, for what? some prick that you dont know or even seen.

Shit I got deeper into this shit than I expected. Well email me tell me wats up.

All I know is to be free is to live with NO LIMITS and not to do something because somebody else thinks its wrong(fuck em)and do what you want.(But there are special cases when you cant, like considering the loved ones and thair feelings)

Because when you are in your death bed you think back and say "I had a pretty cool fucking life, I lived life to the fullest and fuck whoever disagrees".
thats when you are ready and happy to die.

Fuck Im still going
Anyways Later people,
Email me jkr187um@hotmail.com

That has nothing to do with anything...

*Cirrocco walks in, drops his bags, removes sunglasses*
Hey! Am I too late to say anything worthwhile? Or am I just contributing to this strings immortality?
And sometime in the distant future, if the Totse server is bronzed, and put in a time capsule to be opened 35,000 years from now when sheep dog rule the world, could *my* words and memory be regarded as an ancient patron saint of humanity?

...nah, I'm just prolonging the death of the thread. hehe

------------------
My humble contribution to the net...