I wish to begin a career in politics.

I know anyone can run for any office, but what is your advice to make a campaign more sucessful?

Technically, not everyone can run for any office. Some offices(like the American presidency) have certain requirements like you have to be a born citizen of America, and you have to have been living here for the previous 7 years or so.

Now to be a successful politician: first off, sell your soul, you won't be needing it any more. Learn to lie really well about everything, especially when you're looking people in the face and saying stuff like "I never slept with that woman." Open an offshore bank account so you will have a place to stash your bribes and payoffs. Tell everyone you are concerned with their wellfare and you will be going to(insert city/government location here)to fight for what they have coming to them. Hire stooges to take the fall if any of your dealings become public. Kiss babies and hug old ladies(while stealing lollypops and snakeing anything you can from their purses)and make sure you have a few minorities on hand so you can trot them out at the right time(like when the audience is full of the same color). I'm sure I forgot a few things here and there but if you start with those you should at least make Senator.

I am laughing my a** off at Global Dominator!
Sorry, gom ~ your fatal mistake was using the word "successful!"

Get corporate sponsorship. Hell, Jesse Jackson rakes in a cool $500,000/year and he's not even a politician. He gets paid not to line up the black army of idiots!

Anyway, take millions of dollars from tobacco companies and then vote againest any anti-tobacco legislation. Campaign finance reform, HA!

Shit, Rep. Cynthia McKinney of Georgia (aka Jihad Cindy) took $10 million dollars from the Saudi government.

[This message has been edited by buttthrax (edited 11-03-2002).]

Hey, polititian wannabe, I like the sound of that. Wellstone was one of those.

Homer

How does having political views you disagree with make someone a politician wannabe?

Plus I noticed in order to be elected, i'll have to be slim and trim. No fat ass hippy got into office. Nope. A suit would get in.

Cosmetic surgery here I come.

Mabye if I get a sex change and get boobs as big as pamela lee anderson, I'd be a no contest winner.

Not true, there is a guy from down south in Congress that tips out at around 400 pounds with a head like a pumpkin.

The only rule you need to remember is: Never get caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

Other than that, politicos are pretty much untouchable, and once elected you get paid for life, it doesn't even matter if you get thrown out of office, you'll always be paid from the public coffers.

Better pay than honest work, better benefits than a union man, and you never actually have to do anything once you're in.

God's job should be that good.

I also forgot to ask how does the system running for a office works?

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Originally posted by Global Dominator:
[B]

Other than that, politicos are pretty much untouchable, B]

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That is why I wish to become a politician. No cop will ever want to beat my brother or my ass again for sitting on a sidewalk or some other damned bullshit.

Plus I believe in the hands on approach to things. Why vote for some one who wont exactly do as promised nor do things the way I want things done. Its best to do it myself to make sure things are getting done.



[This message has been edited by gombowlzombie (edited 11-03-2002).]

quote:

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Originally posted by gombowlzombie:
I also forgot to ask how does the system running for a office works?

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All the information on that process can be found here: http://www.howstuffworks.com/election-campaign.htm

I was wondering about this. As a mayor, I want to lower taxes, produce more options for public transportation and put more restraints, survailence upon local police power and officers to prevent abuse. Also start a information program informs what rights people have and inform the people what cops can and cannot do do to the people.

I consider these worthy issues. Any suggestions, comments?

[This message has been edited by gombowlzombie (edited 11-03-2002).]

There are really only two ways to get active in the macropolitical world.

1) Come from very wealthy blood. See, it doesn't really matter where you get your education. The thing is, these politicians go to Harvard, Yale or other Ivy League schools. Is it for the education? Pfff. The only reason they go to these schools is to make connections that will help them down the road. They meet other future politicians and so they get on the "straight and narrow" with them, which is actually a crooked and wide.

2) Get rich than enter the political world, but not like Bill Gates political. This is how a few presidents have done it, namely FDR (he had family connects as well of course), the first Kennedy (rest are dumbass drunks), and to a lesser extent Lincoln.

quote:

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Originally posted by YouAreNotYourKhakis:
There are really only two ways to get active in the macropolitical world.

1) Come from very wealthy blood. See, it doesn't really matter where you get your education. The thing is, these politicians go to Harvard, Yale or other Ivy League schools. Is it for the education? Pfff. The only reason they go to these schools is to make connections that will help them down the road. They meet other future politicians and so they get on the "straight and narrow" with them, which is actually a crooked and wide.

2) Get rich than enter the political world, but not like Bill Gates political. This is how a few presidents have done it, namely FDR (he had family connects as well of course), the first Kennedy (rest are dumbass drunks), and to a lesser extent Lincoln.

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I dont come from a rcih family and I have no connections to potentional donors so I guess I have to work with politicians in order to get connected.

Or at least become a democrat. There are many judges in my town who have a fith grade education. Why did they get the seat? Being a democrat is the ticket to office here.

quote:

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Originally posted by gombowlzombie:

Or at least become a democrat. There are many judges in my town who have a fith grade education. Why did they get the seat? Being a democrat is the ticket to office here.

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Good point. I guess as a judge, they don't have to prove what they know very often, just make decisions. It's really a case by case basis, just like everything else.



[This message has been edited by YouAreNotYourKhakis (edited 11-06-2002).]