can anyone give me tips on how to gamble,
about: the odds
what to gamble on and how much

just things like that

Blackjack aka 21 has the best odds out of any other game out there.

jesus dude your requests for help are getting monotonous. do some fucking research.

are you playing like street games with your friends or do you plan on playing at a casino? from the sounds of your posts, your like 12, so I'll assume you wont be visiting the tables at a casino. for friends, and the casinos, your best bet is blackjack. while the odds are still to the house (all gambling is), the way you play can improve your odds of winning. once you get the basics of hitting, staying, doubling down, splitting, and insurance down, reseach card counting. this may take some skill, and if you go to a casino that plays with multiple decks, it gets VERY difficult to do. with your friends playing single deck BJ, it shouldn't be a problem to get down.

Tip: Don't.

Nox

if your going to a casino set a limit. dont keep spending leave with your winnings. and yes blackjack is the game with best odds. and on slot machines its always good to do max bets, the payout is better and i think winning odds are better also

Slot machines are fucking bullshit

quote:

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Originally posted by ComradeAsh:
Slot machines are fucking bullshit

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exactly. these machines are nothing but profit for casinos. the ammount poured into them is much much greater than will ever be give out. no skill whatsoever is required for these scam machines. hmh...maybe some hand eye coordination to help you put tokens in and hit the buttom/pull the arm...

stay away from these. if you must go casino-hopping, stay at the BJ table or atleast play a game where you can increase your advantage/odds of winning. games which you have no control over, stay away from.

quote:

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Originally posted by jackallen:
exactly. these machines are nothing but profit for casinos. the ammount poured into them is much much greater than will ever be give out. no skill whatsoever is required for these scam machines. hmh...maybe some hand eye coordination to help you put tokens in and hit the buttom/pull the arm...

stay away from these. if you must go casino-hopping, stay at the BJ table or atleast play a game where you can increase your advantage/odds of winning. games which you have no control over, stay away from.

---

True, that the machines are nothing than a scam, most of the time. The point is, with this being totse, us members should probably invest in them like no other.

Hehe when I play with my friends in BlackJack, I play the house. They never got around to why everyone leaves with less money than me, yet they are all playing against me.

Blackjack is my preferred game. The odds can be in your favor if you know what you're doing, but even then it's only around 1-3% over the casino. The casino makes money because not very many people want to take the time to learn anything. They just want to go and put money in a slot machine and watch pretty pictures.

quote:

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Originally posted by CDG:
Hehe when I play with my friends in BlackJack, I play the house. They never got around to why everyone leaves with less money than me, yet they are all playing against me.

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if they can play against you, they must know something about BJ and would also know that the odds are in your favor. how do they manage to not realize this?

quote:

---

Originally posted by Hired_Gun:
can anyone give me tips on how to gamble,
about: the odds
what to gamble on and how much

just things like that

---

THe odds are against you but go ahead gamble all your money away.

Of course the odds are stacked against you. If casino odds were in favor of the customer keeping his money, casinos wouldn't be around.

Blackjack is fun and has pretty good odds.
also i like craps. In a casino, the odds are printed on the table. Just look for something good. Usually the 7 is the way to go. I believe the payout is 4to1
not bad...
just don't lose all your contract money...

Avoid slot machines like the plague. The odds are greatly against you. There's no strategy for playing slot that will increase your odds of winning. The casino makes the majority of their money off of the machines. If they have a bunch of card counters on the black jack tables and get taken, the slot machines more than make up for it.

With black jack, do some reading. Read up on how to count cards and practice. I recomend Jerry Patterson's books. There's not really an easy way to tell you how to count cards over the internet, but I'll explain the theory.

Each card is assigned a value, then you use that to determine your strategy. You can keep track of what cards are still to be dealt and figure out whether to bet high or low or to just leave that table.

your too stupid to gamble...why dont you just keep assasinating people...

i live in nevada and so am able to 'gamberle'
anytime i'd like. i suppose most places are like that now, which is cool, but for a long time nevada was the only place in the usa
where casino 'gamberling' was legal.

blackjack is the ONLY game to play if you are serious about walking out with more than you came in with. case closed. and like others have noted before me, if you KNOW the 'basic game' (and i do mean KNOW), the house has zero advantage; if you can count you have a very slight advantage. but everything else in the casino is pure theft
-- you'll never ever win. the casinos don't mind having one very popular game whereby the player has an advantage because they make up for any slight loss at bj by all the other money coming in.

as the opportunity presents itself:

what your problem is, guy, for all your being flamed, is that you aren't
expressing yourself properly. i'm not referring to matters of grammar --
you're obviously an extremely well educated
individual! i mean to say it's like you're
shooting arrows at a target -- you know what an archery target looks like,
like one of your raf logos? -- and all you're doing is hitting on the outer
periphery and coming nowhere near the center. nowhere near the bullseye.
time for you to back up, take a deep breath and re-group.

what you should have said in your myriad number of inane posts was,
"totse guys, i've decided i'm going to be a human crime wave. a one man
human crime wave. there it is there." or in your case a one-boy junior
crime wave. if you'd done that, i seriously doubt anyone here would have
ragged you. leastwise none of us yanks, for one-man crime waves are
commonplace and everyday hereabouts, yup! we read about them all the
time in the papers. why, we even have schools where one can learn all about
becoming a one man human crime wave ('omhcw'). if memory serves, one
worthy of note is located right in the heart of pennsylvania's 'inner city.'
pennsylvania is a commonwealth, NOT a state! this because pennsylvania the
ONLY american colony yet remaining a member of your british empire. as
ever it shall remain -- loyal to the end -- for now & forever!

it's true; pennsylvania the ONLY state defeated by your soldiers during our
american revolution. and that a particularly hurtful shame i'll bet your
vauted private schools never think to teach. yessir! your king george 3
defeated soundly the heroic pennsylvania state troopers (we yanks called them
'minutemen') at the battle for dien bien phu ("where so much blood was spilt
the yellow river ran red for seven days!") that quoting General Joesph
("little joe") Cartwright, Officer Commanding.

so now, whenever one of you brits cares to visit, all he has to do is get an
official 'commonwealth of pennsylvania british resident' entry visa
(applications available in GB at macdonalds) and he can stay here for as long
as he might like. but only in pennsylvania... for a penn-ent-visa (class 3)
allows restricts movement to that great state exclusvely. you wouldn't be
permitted to visit any other of our 57 great and wonderful states; or go
sightseeing at say some famous american landmark like Fort Knox (where gold
was first discovered) or Moontana (where the apollo 13 astronauts trained
for their historic adventure) or even Disneyland or Canada.

if you, hired_killer, were to come over say as a student (no tuition charge
for brits in pennslyvania, by the way), you wouldn't even have to exchange
your currency (or your food stamps), as both are considered 'official coin
of the mark.' this means you wouldn't have to learn 'yank money' --
you could spend your shillings (available courtesy any pennsylvania vending
machine!) sunbathing on the dazzling white sand beaches of the beautiful
Specific Ocean... right alongside those many to-die-for pennsylvania bikini
babes who regard visiting brits as "love duckies" (their name, not mine).

damn! but i never realized until just now how truly fortunate you brits are.
by damn, son, but you're a lucky lad!

anyway, you might think to consider all i've said. i know i would. best of
luck in your future endeavors, whatever they might be. whatever you decide,
i'm sure you'll make the right decision.

quote:

---

Originally posted by uddercontempt:
as the opportunity presents itself:

what your problem is, guy, for all your being flamed, is that you aren't
expressing yourself properly. i'm not referring to matters of grammar --
you're obviously an extremely well educated
individual! i mean to say it's like you're
shooting arrows at a target -- you know what an archery target looks like,
like one of your raf logos? -- and all you're doing is hitting on the outer
periphery and coming nowhere near the center. nowhere near the bullseye.
time for you to back up, take a deep breath and re-group.

what you should have said in your myriad number of inane posts was,
"totse guys, i've decided i'm going to be a human crime wave. a one man
human crime wave. there it is there." or in your case a one-boy junior
crime wave. if you'd done that, i seriously doubt anyone here would have
ragged you. leastwise none of us yanks, for one-man crime waves are
commonplace and everyday hereabouts, yup! we read about them all the
time in the papers. why, we even have schools where one can learn all about
becoming a one man human crime wave ('omhcw'). if memory serves, one
worthy of note is located right in the heart of pennsylvania's 'inner city.'
pennsylvania is a commonwealth, NOT a state! this because pennsylvania the
ONLY american colony yet remaining a member of your british empire. as
ever it shall remain -- loyal to the end -- for now & forever!

it's true; pennsylvania the ONLY state defeated by your soldiers during our
american revolution. and that a particularly hurtful shame i'll bet your
vauted private schools never think to teach. yessir! your king george 3
defeated soundly the heroic pennsylvania state troopers (we yanks called them
'minutemen') at the battle for dien bien phu ("where so much blood was spilt
the yellow river ran red for seven days!") that quoting General Joesph
("little joe") Cartwright, Officer Commanding.

so now, whenever one of you brits cares to visit, all he has to do is get an
official 'commonwealth of pennsylvania british resident' entry visa
(applications available in GB at macdonalds) and he can stay here for as long
as he might like. but only in pennsylvania... for a penn-ent-visa (class 3)
allows restricts movement to that great state exclusvely. you wouldn't be
permitted to visit any other of our 57 great and wonderful states; or go
sightseeing at say some famous american landmark like Fort Knox (where gold
was first discovered) or Moontana (where the apollo 13 astronauts trained
for their historic adventure) or even Disneyland or Canada.

if you, hired_killer, were to come over say as a student (no tuition charge
for brits in pennslyvania, by the way), you wouldn't even have to exchange
your currency (or your food stamps), as both are considered 'official coin
of the mark.' this means you wouldn't have to learn 'yank money' --
you could spend your shillings (available courtesy any pennsylvania vending
machine!) sunbathing on the dazzling white sand beaches of the beautiful
Specific Ocean... right alongside those many to-die-for pennsylvania bikini
babes who regard visiting brits as "love duckies" (their name, not mine).

damn! but i never realized until just now how truly fortunate you brits are.
by damn, son, but you're a lucky lad!

anyway, you might think to consider all i've said. i know i would. best of
luck in your future endeavors, whatever they might be. whatever you decide,
i'm sure you'll make the right decision.

---

virgina is a commonwealth, too.

correct, jackallen. but then so is massachusetts. upon re-reading, you will note i didn't say pn was the ONLY commonwealth.

i wonder if hired_killer will note as much?

quote:

---

Originally posted by uddercontempt:
correct, jackallen. but then so is massachusetts. upon re-reading, you will note i didn't say pn was the ONLY commonwealth.

i wonder if hired_killer will note as much?

---

i stand corrected, and bow to your knowledge...

jackallen, you are my hero!

take a look at my file....
http://www.totse.com/en/bad_ideas/scams_and_rip_offs/163053.html

And, another commonwealth, is Kentucky.