I had a russian for a neighbor once... he sat watching porno for about 8 hours a day.

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Originally posted by DMT:
HELP! i killed somebody!!!!!
how do i hide the body and the evidence!!

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Eat it.

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Originally posted by jak719:
and i have good moves. I can counter like anything.

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Even a bullet...

j/k

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Originally posted by TheMeatPirate:
EAT THE BODY!! THAT'S THE ONLY WAY!!


your good buddy,
Meaty

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Damn, I just said that before I read yours! Damnit! Motherfucker...

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Originally posted by jak719:
... And i have a question? If I'm ROMAN Catholic, am I qualified to join the mafia?

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You're Roman Catholic? Hell, you're already in a mafia, man!

lol all I was saying was the chinese, well maybe even russian mafia down at the shipyards might assist in relocating a crate for you internationally.

"Hey mister russian mob guy, I Love Poop from Totse suggested I come down here and talk to you about shipping a crate internationally to be dumped into the sea somewhere along the line."

Errr don't forget the vodka.

The Chinese wouldn't deal with you and the Russians would just kill you, but asside from that I do not belive that the triades are particularly active in that region.

Yakuza, Poison Fist of the Pacific Rim, the Japaneese mafia.

"They'll kill you 5 times before ya' hit the ground!".

you watch too much simpsons Dark_magneto

"but marge the little guy hasn't done anything yet, you just know whatever he does is going to be cool."

Errr actually I know of someone that *recieves* lost shipments of various goods by providing various services through chinese couriers down at the shipyards. Then again he also speaks chinese eh.

first things first i would rip the fuckers teeth out (aparently there is a pulp that has DNA in the tooth) and also beacause they can match it up with the missing persons reports by there dental records and shit then once you have done that just burn the body to a damn crisp so nothin it left but ashes then your all good

(hehe this is not to be used under any circumstances this is for eduacatonal purposes only ) w/e gotta cover my ass some how

No need for a disclaimer in your own post, considering alomst everything said on TOTSE is a hypothetical situation eh.

What? you're still here? i was just fucking with ya! i would NEVER kill another person. I was really shitfaced when i posted this thread. I just did it for kicks!
Surprizely, nobody even cares. Or Dissapproves. oh well.

[if i killed someone i wouldn t tell anyone and i would join the french foreign legion! they sign you in for five years and will change you name and hide you from everyone! they make you completely dissappear

then you wouldnt have to worry about the stupid body!!!

but i would definataly try the acid thing in a 55 gallon drum and then bury the drum really deep

You dont destroy a body with acid, you do it with lime.

Sodium hydroxide would be a good choice to. That shit really attacks organic material.

you dont need to destroy the body if you didnt leave any evidence on it. they dont even need a body to convict you.

ive seen some nasty shit and i can handle taking someone out, but cutting them up is a different story. fuck that.

Someone once made a comparison between La Cosa Nostra and the "Red Mafiya".

If you cross an Italian, he will kill you.

If you cross a Russian, he will kill you and your entire family.

I think that sums it up.

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Originally posted by ~~COBRA~~:
you dont need to destroy the body if you didnt leave any evidence on it. they dont even need a body to convict you.

ive seen some nasty shit and i can handle taking someone out, but cutting them up is a different story. fuck that.

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well well... look who's STILL on totse... I'm surprised you're still here. and how the hell did you acquire over 1100 posts?? You been locked in your room, damn otaku???

COBRA? Is that Cobra I see!? OMG! COBRA! You've decided to come back to us I see? I thought you were going to leave for good, oh well, hope to talk to you some other time on the boards.

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Originally posted by Township Rebellion:
??

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who are you bitch?

Do you know what "Nemesis" means? It is a righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent, personified in this case by an horrible count, ME.

You're always goin to have problems lifting a body in 1 piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up the corpse into 6 pieces and pile it all togetha. And when you got your 6 pieces you gotta get rid of'em 'cause it's no good leavin' it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover now is it?

Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs, you gotta starve the pigs for a few days then the sight of a chopped up body will look like curry to a piss head. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggie's digestion. You could do this afterwards o'course but you don't wanna go siftin' thru pig shit now do ya?

They will go thru bone like butta. You need at least 16 pigs to finish the job in one sitting so be wary of any man who owns a pig farm. They will go thru a body that weighs 200 pounds in about 8 minutes. That means that a single pig can consume 2 pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression 'as greedy as a pig'.

ive been browsing the forum for about a year now, only posting once befour (i think) and you wanted a way to dispose of a body? slice and dice your victim then feed him to a herd of pigs. trust me.

Okay, I think that a little TOO many people in here have seen Snatch, or take it a little too seriously. However, I DO think that there's a little bit of truth in the fact that if your car is in reverse, things come from behind you.

Need to ditch the body? Soak the bitch in gasoline, hang it from a tree, then set the bitch on fire. So what if they identify the fuckin person through their damn dental records. The bitch is dead and the evidence is burnt the fuck up. Get fuckin drunk to celebrate.

Well... that will get rid of the body from your possession, but I suggest going further. First I think you should fuck up the bastards teeth - just for good measure. Secondly, you need to start considering if you would be a suspect. If this was serial, than you'll be alright, but it you had a reason come up with a fake alibi and make sure to eliminate anything that can hook you to the crime. No one ever thinks to do that and thats why they are often caught. Burning it is a good idea - but make sure (as mentioned before) not to come in contact with the body with fibrous clothing, if you aren't planning on burning the body.

Good Luck

Ike

What a pile of shit. He didn't kill anyone.

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Originally posted by DMT:
What? you're still here? i was just fucking with ya! i would NEVER kill another person. I was really shitfaced when i posted this thread. I just did it for kicks!
Surprizely, nobody even cares. Or Dissapproves. oh well.

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Yeah well there's aLOT of dumb people on Totse.com.

I have a very disgusting idea
Get a Job at a fast food outlet such as Mc Donalds or Hungary Jacks.
Then Late one night stick the body in the Meat grinder, after gutting it and deboning to some extent. Then turn the meat into hamburger patties, ready to served up to unlucky customers. YUM ! that way the get rid of the evidence and a make unable to be recovered

Its not funny to joke about killing people regardless of your point of view its the majority that counts.

SHUT UP OR I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!


Dumbass.

actually, snatch isn't all fictional.
I dont know if anybody has heard about this, but here in BC Canada, a man named Robert Pickton had been charged with the murders of about 6 prostitutes, and is being investigated for the murder of 44-47 more. that would mean he killed more than 50 whores.
a friend of mine's dad owns the excavation company that gets rid of his pig waste (shit). the police found bones that added up to around 40 people.. this hasn't been released to the public.
it does happen guys.

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Originally posted by Flake2m:
I have a very disgusting idea
Get a Job at a fast food outlet such as Mc Donalds or Hungary Jacks.
Then Late one night stick the body in the Meat grinder, after gutting it and deboning to some extent. Then turn the meat into hamburger patties, ready to served up to unlucky customers. YUM ! that way the get rid of the evidence and a make unable to be recovered

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Ever seen "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"? Leatherface was killing people and then cutting them up and serving them to people at the local diner, true story.

easiest way to get rid of a sneaky russian...120lbs. of syntex straped to yur chest

yeah along with a city block. instead of one murder you get 20

i cant be fucked explaining,
so just watch the movie snatch

*Poses his obviously newbie question*
What's Syntex? Is it an explosive?

I'm so dumb it hurts.