Stupid damn things roam loose and breed like rabbits; my yard stinks like cat piss; they shit in my flower beds; they rip up the trash and yowl all night long. These are "wild" and the old lady next door keeps feeding them. I've trapped a buttload of them, but it doesn't do any good- for every one I trap there are five more to take its place!!

I've thought about fixing up some very special kitty dinners as there are probably at least 50 of the fucking things and the "authorities" won't help (duhh). I'd simply shoot the fuckers, but I think that might be just a bit obvious... Any ideas? Recipes would be appreciated hehehe.

Embrace your inner pussy, and learn to love your brothers and sisters....the CaTT has spoken....peace.

Find a catch then nueter group.

*waiting for winki's reply*

I am a heartless bastard. My wife threw a fit when she saw our kid playing with "Lincoln Logs" in the sandbox... Yea- nothing like cat turds in a kid's sandbox. Plus, we like having the windows open and those things have taken to spraying piss right through the screens INTO the damn house! My fucking living room reeks now. BAD.

Sooo... I found a pal with some spare traps (live traps) and we have begun a ruthless trap session. If it goes in the trap, it will die. I don't want to kill anybody's pets- so if we find any with collars we've agreed to haul them in to the pound (only a 45 mile drive). This was day 1- so far we've bagged 8 cats.

To the dude who suggested catch & neuter- that's not an option. I don't want them released- I want them GONE. Before that old lady started feeding all the fuckers, we had loads of little critters and songbirds. The cats have killed most of the small wild animals.

Plus, the only vet in this area handles mostly large animals- cattle & horses- and I would have to drive 45 miles one way to find a small animal vet and PAY to have them damn things fixed. Bullet's cheaper, especially for 50 or 60 cats (hell there are probably a ton more).

Although using poison is a tempting idea, there is simply no way to know what will take it. I really don't want to kill pets or REAL wild animals. Sooo poison is out.

later...

nuetering and spaying is the only way to lower the population if you kill them others will replace them filling an ecological vacume. IF you nueter and spay them the nuetered ones will take the food other cats would have eaten and not reproduced that way the population growth rate shrinks.

Rent a dog. Two dogs.

You've got a computer, advertise a rodent irradication service.

Where do you live that there is no spca? I bet if they knew you were trapping and killing them, they might see their way to
getting out to your part of town.

Buy a motion detector, install it where they
are most prevalent, hook it up to a timer that starts a sprinkler.

Cat piss does stink to high heaven, they must really like you to be pissing in the windows.
One thing that you might try is this..just sit around kinda casual let em approach you , whatever, then stand up and pee on them!

That should work really well, you might also try marking your bushes yourself., and the flower beds! About the sandbox, it , like you, is full of shit. I hope you are competant enough to build a screen cover for it. Try real hard or maybe one of your friends can hold your hand so to speak.

Anyway what comes around apparently leaves dead, gosh you sound swell!~ not, you sound inbred and marginally intelligent, your wife too! now there's a real brainy beauty0so nice of you to brag about her!!

You must live in the middle of????????????
You should be neutered and your wife spayed.
Trap and release is one thing a decent person might do in your situation, there are numerous other options, but I think they'd be lost on you Biff- carry on with your project
and may you come back in your next life as a
feral tomcat and be dealt with accordingly.

Hi evilmastermind- are you feeling better yet? I hope so
/\_/\
~0^0~
>>Y<<

Yeah? Fuck you. Damn animal rights kooks- go figure.

Yup!, like totally nimbus noggin:P

I figured that the practical advice was lost on you.

Another thing you might try is this?:
Stick your finger up your wifes ass,
then put on some Yanni music, go outside
and with the uttmost seriousness take your finger , swing wide to the left or right,
quickly so as to surprise the unsuspecting cats, quickly blow on your finger, fire it like a gun, and then aim it at the cat you just missed. If you continue to miss try mixing it up a little like aim, blow, fire!
If that doesnt work, try sucking on it. Don't let your kid mistake it for a lincoln log or you might accidentaly blow his head off. Best
way is still to simply pick-n-pee, seriously
a marked decrease in their numbers is imminent if you will simply pull that puppy out and mark YOUR territory.

Go figure what? Sorry, you've probably done enough thinking for one day, why don't you go and make yourself useful now!

if you live ne where near a farm supply store , get a bottle of medicine called galamiacyn, it does something for breeding cows, some hormones or somthing, inject it in thier milk, they will die very slowly but probly first fall near the old ladies house, she will appreciate 50 half alive cats on her yard with the accption of the 10 dead ones, any way it will work, ive seen it done, if you cant get that, use bleach water, or gas, i m sure that isnt healthy

*wonders if suz will add anything*

You rc are an asshole, I used to have cats and I want you to Know That if would have done that to my cat I would have cut your balls off with a rusty knife and forcibly fed them to you you sick mother fucker. I would make the last few hours of your life so miserable that you would wish that your crack whore mother never would have pulled a trick with that syphlitic john known as your father.

Alan, I've said it before, I'll say it again.

You bring the dental hygeine tools, I'll bring the beer.

make it German beer.

if you can get one of those eletric fence things hook it up with a bit of meat tied to it then when thay try and eat it thay get a shock and if thay do it heaps it with make them to scared to eat anything and will eventualy die

One time, when my grandpa was alive, i was with him giving shots to calves out in the pasture. He used this big ass syringe with like a 4" needle. Well, along came this stray dog, sniffing around the smokehouse. My grandpa takes this syringe, and fills it with gasoline. Then he proceeds to inject the entire thing right between the shoulder blades of this dog. So this dog takes off at an incredible rate of speed, running around and around the smoke house... then all of a sudden, he stops, and falls over...... He was alright though, he just ran out of gas... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Sorry, kinda corny, but he loved that story! Actually, he usually just shot strays with rock salt out of a shotgun shell.

which part did you not like the tear gas and cutting a cats dick off.

ya that would be kinda extra mean because they have to live in pain but I think if a person has to they should just shoot the cats.

I like the electric fence idea.

We just don't like you.

*swigs beer*

Now hold still while we poke a stainless steel hook up your urethra.

The Best Idea Is to take one of those hose attachments that is kind of pistol shaped and just give 'em A good spray if they wander onto your lawn, Its just good old fasion pavlovian conditioning. ya filthy sadists.

This is what I have to say Trippy,

Anyone who is deliberately cruel to animals deserves to receive what they have done tenfold. There is ALWAYS a humane way of controlling problems like this.

...

just start feeding them.. with rat posion in the food. that will get rid of them.

[whine]But suuuuuzzz, I wanna do worse shit to him than he talked about doing to cats[/whine]

C'mon suz, there's a case of beer and a scalpel with your name on them. C'mon, let's get wild. C'MON!

quote:

---

which part did you not like the tear gas and cutting a cats dick off.

---

I always enjoy crude surgery to my penis wihtout anesthetic after I've been tear gassed. I don't see what those other people's problems could be.

Cat Control:

YOU don't like the cats. OTHER PEOPLE do. So YOU only wanna keep that out of YOUR yard.

What don't cats like? Ever seen a cat like being sprayed with water. I did once, but it was on TV so it doesn't count.

So, what in a yard sprays water? We're gonna have to put our thinking caps on for this one, aren't we?

LEAVE THE SPRINKLER RUNNING ALL NIGHT LONG, JACKOFF!!!!!!!

Oh yeah, and if you hurt any cats, we'll see how you stand up against a pack of wild TOTSE moderators with rusty bow saws.