Should I stay confident in the structure of my center?
And even if I falter will anyone see me

Should I fall, I know none would hold me up
And if I rise,
They'll only beg me to come down

So I tied my ankles
To the bottom of a mute demon
And when I rose to question why
I ascended into an eternal sigh
Trapped in this egg, underneath the dirt.
But there is a hole in my sky
And it catches my blackened eye

Physically weak
Emotionally menopausal

This is your poseur this is your fake,
Non-conformist wannabe,
This is me, trying to be cool,
By not fitting in
Yes I stole these years away,
I inserted a needle,
I blew up the whole wide world
And proceeded to kill,
My last living brain cell,
Just so you could form another half assed judgement

I spent an eternity alone, just so you could say that I do not belong
So you've danced and spread your lies
You've pissed these salty tears in my eyes
Decadent, deceitful, despising all that once gave me hope...Wishing I could cope...


- End.
I wrote this a while back and edited it just a bit now. Anyone want to give me ideas on what kind of emotion or feeling they got from it? Oh and if anyone has any ideas on converting it to a better lyrical form let me know. I'm open to discussion since this is one of those poems that I consider a slightly lesser quality than others I've written.

unless you are a select few vocalists then they wont work. you must have a certain style and voive for lyrics like that to sound good. if you have the average voive you most likely will just sound like a fool trying to be overly sincere and tryign way to hard. whether or not you are or arent doing that is irrelevent but thats how i think it will come off as.

quote:

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Originally posted by syphon detonator:
unless you are a select few vocalists then they wont work. you must have a certain style and voive for lyrics like that to sound good. if you have the average voive you most likely will just sound like a fool trying to be overly sincere and tryign way to hard. whether or not you are or arent doing that is irrelevent but thats how i think it will come off as.

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I agree with you completly, sort of sounds like something Roger Waters(Pink Floyd)
or Maynard James Keenan(Tool) could pull off.
I almost always edit the sentence length in a song before I sing it.


[This message has been edited by TheSellOut (edited 10-03-2002).]