As my username says, I am on methadone, actually 120 mg's a day, and I was one of those people who metaphysics,excuse me if I got the spelling wrong, about 9 out of ten do get hooked. I was in rehab, called Integrity house, I was clean and I ran the entire hell hole. That is how I looked at it, I faked it to I made it. I knew deep down I wanted to use. And it will never be like the first time, eat 2 or 3 percocets, and get high. Those days are long gone for me. I know I am an opiate addict. I am going to start to lower my dose, I have too. I used to eat 8-10 80mg oxycontins to start the day by chewing them and drinking a cup of coffee. And that's a bitch. And trying to find Dr.s to give me narcotics, I have been to every hospital in the state of NJ getting my frequent shots of demerol when I was pill sick, just claiming I had a migraine. Which is what got me hooked in the first place (Migraines). The best is to stay away if you can. That was the only drug, that ever really screwed up my body, and life. I mean, you need it mentally and physically, that sucks. Don't get me wrong, it was my choice to use. Migraines really suck for those who get them my point being, that I had to steal Dr.s Prescription pads and write my own for 90 Percocets, easy as hell to do, or just call them in myself, really easy. Too easy as a matter of fact. All you need to do is give me a phone and the yellow pages, and I would guarantee at least 20-30 Vicodins ES, or HP whatever I wanted. Some Dr.s are that stupid And it's against the law for a doctor to call in a narcotic, especially if your not a patient, and never been seen before, you just have to be one step ahead of them. But legally they are allowed, just depending on what class drug it is. I actually got away with calling in 10mg's of Percoets. Now I am not recommending anyone to do this, cause being so easy to call them in, you need to make sure the covering DR. isn't the DR. you claimed you were that gave you the prescription, and use some-one else's name. You will get caught sooner or later. That is why I went on the meth before I got caught. I wish I could use them (Narcotics)once in a while again, but there is no way. I admit it, I am an addict. Something I am not proud of, but at least I am not stealing anymore, and my migraines are under control. Keep this in mind before you get hooked on narcotics, and don't think it won't happen to you,like everyone else thinks I have been to N/A meetings 70 year old people in there, cause they still think they can do it their way and get different results but you just simply can't! Hope this gets across to someone. I don't want to sound like a preacher, just explaining my situation,and what it was like before I was on the methadone clinic. Now I love benzos!

Thanks for sharing that here. I know that it ain�t easy; even if it is only the net.

A post that come from experience, like yours, is worth more than 10 of mine; even though I have many many years of seeing what it�s done to many many people around me; amongst other things .

I wish you all the luck in your trials & tribulations to come � you know you have a lifetime hobby now. Not that I�m making light of your situation. Far from it; it�s just that humor always helps, or so I�ve found [and, despite things, I know what you�re up against.

With any luck you�ve pushed at least one person away from that road, though most will shine it on; thinking either it�s me making another user to say that stuff [yeah I�m a cynic], or that you are making it up, or � most likely - they will still think that they are the 1 of 10.

You tried, though and that�s all you can do when you get right down to it.


Feel free to e-mail me, if you want, as I have a few more things to add that aren�t really meant for the whole forum.

thanks for sharing that, methman...i know it mustn't have been easy for you to do...i was never on methadone but i detoxed three times from H, two times in rehab and one time cold turkey..i started popping Darvon for migraines as well about a month or two ago and moved up to stronger stuff...

Well, it's a lifetime of recovery if one wants it thats for sure. If you are moving to harder stuff, you are going to go right back to H, and that is a fact. Being on Methadone for as long as I have, sure I want to get high, but I can't, especially not with the dose I am on, I would need to drop at least half of my dose, if not a little more, and then you could get high, but I see no purpose in that. I am going to start dropping it from 120, until I am comfortable so the migraines, aren't as bad. Darvon is like methadone, it really doesn't get you high, it helps for pain a little bit, but I have such a high tolerance, I need a lot more than darvon, I wouldn't take that at all
unless I was so sick, and it might help me so I am not so sick. If you know you are going to stronger shit, you said it yourself, try the maintencene program, you can go there and tell them you are just hooked on pain pills, you don't have to tell anyone you do or did H, that's up to you. But I am glad I went on it. At least with that, I know what I am getting rather then in a bag, of who knows what? Well, do what you got to, I am not a preacher, I am an addict, who would love to get high, but I can't.

Yes opiates are one bitch. It really is always an uphill battle. The one thing that sucks is no matter how much you have its never enough. ahh well im going to get going now i gotta get ready for work. I feel so fuckin low and lonely right now i just wanna roll over and die.

Hey sub are you sick? Sure sounds like it and you are right, it's and uphill battle that you can never win. That is the reason why I am taking the methadone, so I am not sick and I can function normally, fuck what the hell is normal anymore? Hell if I know. I was wondering what I can do with xanax, all I hear about is everyone extracting DXM, and all other types of shit, I have a few 1 mg xanax, and I was wondering what could I do with them other than sucking on them, chewing them, snorting them, or just plain swallowing them, I was curious is their any other way, such as extraction? I am certainly no chemist, that's for sure, but I was curious, if anyone knows, and wants to email me, you can do so, or just reply in here, doesn't matter. Sub, feel better

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Originally posted by Metaphysicist:
Thanks for sharing that here. I know that it ain�t easy; even if it is only the net.

NO It isn't, but I am just being honest with myself, and I can admit it, cause I live it. Some can't, when they hit rock bottom, then they just might, its a matter of time.

Feel free to e-mail me, if you want, as I have a few more things to add that aren�t really meant for the whole forum.

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I just wanted to know if you received my email or not? And if you didn't let me know, and I wanted to ask you the same question I have mentioned in this thread about the xanax

Hmmm, this story has really changed my view on narcotics. Besides getting that lovely feeling of euphoria, the other reason I like using narcotics is knowing that I'm playing with 'fire'. I know I have the mental capacity and control not to get addicted, or so I think...

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Originally posted by Old Sammy:
Hmmm, this story has really changed my view on narcotics. Besides getting that lovely feeling of euphoria, the other reason I like using narcotics is knowing that I'm playing with 'fire'. I know I have the mental capacity and control not to get addicted, or so I think...

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Well Sammy, like I said before I don't want to preach, I miss getting that high, I just know from what you just said, you know you are playing with fire and that is a rush. Hell yeah the euphoria is great, but it's only going to lead to stronger shit. Everyone said why don't you just do H, when you are sick? Cause if I did, I wouldn't be talking to you right now, I would love it, and would be shooting it, stealing to get it what ever it takes. And that is no life. I thought I had it under control too. I was eating 40 friggen percocets, the 5mgs a day. I was selling them too, but it broke my heart to sell them, cause I just wanted to eat them, I would write a script for 90 which would be $450 for one script, but with my habbit, I was just getting by. Like I said go high if you want to an NA meeting but don't talk, they will allow you in, but don't appreciate you to talk if you are high and just listen to all the people thinking they could do it their way, and expecting different results everytime, but ultimately the same results, using again. It's a fucking battle, it sucks. That is why I am on the methadone, I am not going to be in jail for playing Dr. calling in scripts, or stealing pads and writing my own anymore. That shit was a high all by itself, getting over them. Or playing out a Dentist on a weekend, and said I seen your partner, and I have to go out of state, and I need an extraction of my wisdom teeth, and I can't make my appointment for monday, and I would call on a friday, and end up getting 20-30 vicodin Es's. One time I got 55 Lorcet 10 mg and I didn't know the doctor. Its so easy to get them, and so easy to get caught up in so much fucking trouble. If you really think you can do it your way, just go to one meeting, preferably straight, and listen to what they have to say. I sound like a fucking preacher, but I am just telling it like it is from personal experience. I would love to feel the high feeling again. If I went off the meth I know I would go right back to using. So if you can do it your way, you are one of a kind, I thought the same way

By the way, I'm not popping Percs or Vics everyday to see how far I can go without getting addicted, thats just ignorant. Its not the addiction or even the consequence of even death that scares me away from OCs or the 'Big H'... I heard one addict say that he will never be as happy as the first time he tried heroin... How fucked up is that, NOTHING in life will EVER give that poor guy true happiness.

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Originally posted by Old Sammy:
By the way, I'm not popping Percs or Vics everyday to see how far I can go without getting addicted, thats just ignorant.

It's not ignorant when you are addicted before you know it, your body will need more and more as you progress to take them, but you have it under control. You know what you are doing. Actually ignorance has nothing to do with it, it just happens, and you sit back and say how in the world did this happen to me? I'm glad that isn't you.

Its not the addiction or even the consequence of even death that scares me away from OCs or the 'Big H'... I heard one addict say that he will never be as happy as the first time he tried heroin... How fucked up is that, NOTHING in life will EVER give that poor guy true happiness.

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Well, that's me that poor guy looking for true happiness as you put it cause I will never feel that high that I did when I took 3 percocets, and was scratching everything but my balls. I was so messed up, and those days are long gone. So I didn't even have to try the big H, sure I had my share of the 80mgs of oxycontins, but that is fucking strong shit, been taking that well over five years ago. But I know that feeling like that again isn't the only thing that is going to give me pure happiness, I tell you what is, that is going to see my unborn child be born, that will be the best high that I will ever experience. No drug will ever compare to that. So I want to be around for that, that is why I am not messing around with all the opiods again, yeah I miss that feeling, but that isn't meaning I will never be happy again. I am just happy I can function on a day to day basis. And I love it when people say that they are functioning addicts. There is no such thing. But I am getting way off teh topic here. I am no anti-drugs, I do enjoy them, to much of anything is no good. If you got it under control, good for you, I am really glad for you. Addiction isn't prejeduce, all races, gender whatever, it will get you if you let it.

yes, i'm thinking i should either flush everything i have right now (though i can just as easily get more, thus defeating the purpose) and rely on good ole' willpower or just keep doing what i've been doing...if i choose to do the latter i already know pretty much where it will lead me...have tried NA, but it just doesn't work for me at all

Hey listen I am not telling people not to do drugs, I am not telling them to take the path I went. Not at all, before you would go and flush them I would tell you to send them this way, I know people that could really use them, but we know that isn't legal. And I am not going out of my way to go an get a script for someone else. NA doesn't work for everyone, I don't go. I went and said it wasn't for me either, but you really have to want it, and if you don't you don't, and that is the bottom line. I am not telling you to use, or not to use, I was simply telling my story about my getting hooked on pills and where it led me, and I just emailed the last person, telling him more shit than I typed in here. I don't want to take up to much room on this thread. I don't want to stop anyone from doing what they like to do. I am no one to judge, I don't have that right, and I dont' judge people anyway, for what they use for drugs. I used to tell them in rehab I do drugs cause I like the way it made me feel. They want to insist it is some deep rooted problem that causes you to do them, maybe for some but not for all. I don't even remember what you said you had to start out with, unless you were taling about a big score with darvons, and some percocets, and a few vicodins? If not I really don't know what you have. To each their own. Do you, is what I always say.

Please feel free to take any space you want here. I can only wish that more of the content here was as honest and important as what you have to say. I don't know where you've been, and how you deal with it, but you've certainly reinforced my decision to never start down that road.

Thanks, and keep it up.

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Originally posted by Methadoneman:
Hey listen I am not telling people not to do drugs, I am not telling them to take the path I went. Not at all, before you would go and flush them I would tell you to send them this way, I know people that could really use them, but we know that isn't legal. And I am not going out of my way to go an get a script for someone else. NA doesn't work for everyone, I don't go. I went and said it wasn't for me either, but you really have to want it, and if you don't you don't, and that is the bottom line. I am not telling you to use, or not to use, I was simply telling my story about my getting hooked on pills and where it led me, and I just emailed the last person, telling him more shit than I typed in here. I don't want to take up to much room on this thread. I don't want to stop anyone from doing what they like to do. I am no one to judge, I don't have that right, and I dont' judge people anyway, for what they use for drugs. I used to tell them in rehab I do drugs cause I like the way it made me feel. They want to insist it is some deep rooted problem that causes you to do them, maybe for some but not for all. I don't even remember what you said you had to start out with, unless you were taling about a big score with darvons, and some percocets, and a few vicodins? If not I really don't know what you have. To each their own. Do you, is what I always say.

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Okay i thought it was basic/common knowledge, that ones personality developes during the first 5 years of ones life. Painrelievers is to deal with the pain that was caused by incidents from that period. The big H is nice, though there is a similar, but of course not as strong alternative. The alternative is intense workout/exercice, this will release endorphine in the brain which as mentioned has similar effects to that of Heroin.

your post will help alota people on this board to start thinking differently, it sure helped me...

I'm not an addict, and never actually tried any real opiates exept codeine an other crap like that, couple of days ago when i was with my friends, and one of them asked if we want to try some H, i didnt really even think about all the bad stuff it could lead too and screamed "Yes Yes Yes!!!" my other friend called me an idiot and now i respect him for that... I hope everything gets better with your life man, you should seek some treatment even if it requires telling your parents/friends/co workers about your problem...

Good Luck!

nothing material in life will rbing you hapiness that goes for drugs and money.

I admit I find junkies disgusting for being so greedy they want to get that ultimate high, to me it represents all the greedy scum in the world that sacrifice others for thier own good.

All the people who are too lazy and take the easy route to hapiness because there too weak-willed to work hard for it, I'm not talking about a big house lots of money an important job, I mean real and true hapiness that only comes from working hard to be a good person. That goes for any drug addict.

Yet I can't help but feel sorry for someone who must be so torn up inside and so desperate to feel some kind of hapiness in there life, that they turn to opiates.

i can totally see where all these different viewpoints come from, and it's very nice to see them put in a mature adult manner...yes, i like the way opiates make me feel, especially H., but i also think i did first start using in my high school days simply as a means of escaping everything that was wrong in my life at the time...by the time i hit college the addiction was full blown and i was starting to lose interest in pretty much everything..but somehow i managed to get myself cleaned up and stayed sober for a long time up until recently...though one part of me knows the futility that comes with opiate use, the other part of me just wants it too much and frankly doesn't give much regard to any other rational thoughts on the subject..and in case anyone is curious, i started my drug use taking pills..did coke briefly but hated it, was never into hallucinatory drugs..i just wanted something calming and someone turned me on to H...i was never the same again

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Originally posted by ExtazyBoy:
your post will help alota people on this board to start thinking differently, it sure helped me...

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What? And everything I've posted is just so much hot air?

Boy, well I never!

[It's all good; as long as somebody listens to someone, it don't really matter who hears anything I say.


Methadoneman >> Yes, I received your e-mail.

I got it just before leaving work yesterday , but didn't have time to reply and my computer at home was being a bitch last night. I will get to it this afternoon; what I was able to read looked good.