 Junglist - AMT Reports
Hey, sorry for taking so long.
Trip 1 (15 MG)
Last afternoon/night/this morning, I had my first psychoactive drug experience. I wrote it all down. here.
The drug is AMT, which stands for Alpha Methyltryptamine. It's a 'research chemical', and it's completely legal for research use. It was $98 + S&H for a gram.
3:30: I go up to my friends room (who I'm getting it from). He measures it off with a calculator (start @ 930 mg, divide 4 or 5 times, down to ~15). I take it in a former kava kava gel cap.
3:30 Nothing
5:00 - 6:00 I feel sick, even though it's probably psychosomatic. Some candy helps me not feel nauseous, so it was probably not real.
7:00 - 8:00 Still a bit nauseous, but I feel detached. Not in a good way, but like in the way when you're really tired or sick and everything runs past you. Also my head feels like someone jammed some screws into it. But it doesn't -hurt-. Just tight.
I look the mirror, and my pupils are about half-dilated, like I read
8:25 PM �tickly� feeling in the pit of my stomach, like when I�m anxious. Not all that interesting. I want to talk to someone, but my friends are out, and I�m in.
8:28 PM I�ve come to the conclusion that I�m feeling �speedy� right now. This is primarily based on the fact that I feel like this sometimes. I want to jump around and do stuff, but there�s nothing to do. No streamlined though processes or any sort of inspiration that I�ve read comes with amphetamine use, so it must be psychosomatic as well.
*Question: How much of a drug experience is determined by expectations? I went into this only under the influence of my friend who told me �15 is too little� and the raw info on erowid.
9:34 PM Just got my first hallucination�just like my friend said: You know how sometimes you wake up and you hear voices, and you answer them? I just got that. I heard my mom on the answering machine (my parents are in Connecticut, at Mohegan Sun [casino {my parents NEVER gamble!}]) but my sister verified it was in my mind. It was exactly like that waking thing, if you�ve ever experienced it, it�s very strange. I was hearing �answering machine quality� gibberish for a few moments, but nothing too interesting.
� I must say that although this seems like a waking dream, I think a dose of ~25 MG would make for a very �interesting-, not recreational trip.
� I am in the opinion that I am in full possession of all of my facilities, and that I would not be detected by anyone, even those who knew me well, like my parents do.
� Aside from the aforementioned �speedy� effect, and the audio hallucination (which I think was an indirect effect of my friends� communicated experience), I am feeling nothing out of the �normal� scope of human senses.
10:02 PM just realized I can�t keep a firm track of mind, I can�t concentrate. Again the �tired/sick� feeling. Interestingly enough, everything I�ve experienced is within the scope of normal human activity. Odd.
10:16 PM Jittery, and I�m talking to some guy online about a computer problem. I�m happy.
10:38 PM I can handle myself extremely well in presence of people. Feel sociable, I can talk �better-, I think, and I point things out that my tired parents seem to miss, although I was �overfriendly-
10:48 PM going to my room, my parents are home. Finish this up tomorrow. I�llk eep writing
11:06 PM just kidding�spontaneity seems to be inherent. Playing chess.
11:46 PM � 1:43 AM Attempted to get some sleep. I closed my eyes, and noticed the normal visuals I get when my eyes were closed were different. Opening my eyes and observing the dark room, things that weren�t there seemed to be swaying.
My thoughts were unorganized and went in circles. I could only immediately remember about 3/5 of them. I could barely force myself out of bed to get a MD player and this notebook.
For some reason, I got up, got completely dressed, and went into our computer room. I turned the computer on for 2 secs to see who was on AIM, and got a pen. Then I shut down. Why? I don�t know.
I am experiencing strobe vision in my peripheral eyesights. In otherwords, I see flickering.
I am experiencing nausea, headache, malaise, �passive� state and I now have clammy hands. This is most likely due to the low dose that I took, along with my sugar intake and tiredness.
9:56 AM After the aforementioned horrible night, I got up and ate a sandwich. Nothing but the vague persistent nausea and headache. Any visuals I had last night are gone.
10:00 AM - 4:30 PM Trouble concentrating, took me about an hour to do one page of math homework (normally 5-15 minutes)
No more effects after this.
OK, before I begin this, I'd like to say that it's hard to describe some of the things I felt, so I'll try to do it in the best way possible (typing doesn't do it justice).
Setting: At my friends house to start with, fencing practice afterwards, then home to my room.
I hadn't eaten for 27-29 hours, just to avoid vomiting (I hate vomiting more than anything in the world).
T0:00 - took ~22 MG of AMT.
T1:00 - Nauseous, took another pill of roughly the same amount.
T1:45 - Took another pill for a grand total of around 65 MG because I still wasn't feeling anything.
-times are fuzzy starting here, but should be more or less accurate-
T2:15 - We started running and jumping around to warm up for fencing, and then it hit me. I was high as a kite!
T2:35 - I think if I were sober I would have felt really sick, but I kept running and jumping.
T2:45 - I go to the bathroom, but I don't get sick. My coach tells me I'm switching to saber, but I don't care, and accept it.
Description of mind - More than anything I feel like I don't care about a thing. I feel compulsive, and I talk to people I'd never talk to sober. I had a constant fleeting awareness of my self, and how I was acting, which really helped conceal my state.
T3:15 - Go to the bathroom and puke what little bit of matter I have in my stomach up. I actually induce vomiting. I didn't care at all, and as I said above, I hate vomiting above all else. It's the only time I've been doing some honest worship that I've remembered to TUCK MY GODDAMN SHIRT IN!
T3:30 - Acting sick was never so easy. I look sick, because I just threw up, and I can sound completely convincing. One second I'm acting really sad and embarassed at my coach, next minute I'm laughing it up with my friends.
T3:45 - I see tracers on the fencing swords, which don't interest me that greatly. This was more or less the extent of my visuals.
State of Mind: Euphoria has taken a hold on me, but my friends say that I sound completely normal and look it too. Besides dilated pupils and a red face (vomit), I guess I am normal. My pulse is eleveated though (120 BPM, I believe it was).
T4:00 - Driving home I talk to my dad, and even though I'm a little slow, it doesn't matter because I'm SUPPOSED to be tired after sports. As soon as I get home I run up to my room and lie on my bed.
Status: This was really the highlight of my night. I was in complete ecstacy for about 2-3 hours.
T4:15 - 7:15 - I'm in my room, talking to my friends on the phone, and listening to Dark Side of the Moon (Of course!). It seems as though I'm orchestrating the future, and every move I make feels as satisfying as the winning move in chess, or something. I was wiggling around on my bed for about 1/2 hour before I called my friends, and it felt great. The best thing I could relate it to is how everything feels sort of better after masturbating (or sex, I guess), except it felt better than that.
I finally call up my friend. We talk about nothing in particular, and I can tell exactly what his tone of voice reflects about his thoughts. I.E. I can tell when he doesn't want to talk, etc.
Call my other friend, and I have a (I thought) deep discussion about life, optimism, and thinking.
It seems as though I'm feeling emotions on a much more basic level. Like what sober people take for granted, I can feel intensely. Like, I put my hand on my bed, to relax it, and it felt divine. I was still nauseous, and I got a definite signal that I was, but it was cancelled out by more normal actions that were amplified.
T7:15 - 13:15 - Okay, this is the reason that I wouldn't do this more than occasionally. As soon as I got off the phone, I tried to get some sleep. When I tried to lie down, I felt nauseous. My head hurt. I couldn't think straight, because my brain was tired. I thought I was talking to my friend Jon, but of course I wasn't. I thought I was doing all sorts of things, but I had to keep reminding myself I was alone in my room.
***I FELT REALLY sad when I woke up!***
It felt like years had passed, and I didn't know where I was. My sense of time was COMPLETELY warped. I'm not sure how much I slept, if at all. For about a collective 2 hours, I would sit up in my bed and shake my head around in circles. Why, I don't know.
I go downstairs to get some water, but it makes me more nauseous (this comes as a surprise to me, even though a sober person would say 'duh!'
T15:15 - My mom wakes me up, demanding the cordless phone, so I guess I did sleep a little, although as for how restful it was, I cannot say, becuase I didn't realize it.
T15:30 - 18:00 - I have a very cool discussion with my mom about all sorts of stuff, but primarily drug use among minors. Everyone seems to be talking to benefit me when I'm on this drug, which helps boost my confidence when speaking. I convinced her that my friends weren't that bad, and I left feeling happy, and left her trusting me. I also played sick, again.
Also, I had something to eat for the first time in ~36 hours. Some Saltines with peanut butter. I didn't find it particularly tasteful, but I was dimly aware that I should eat. The nausea is pretty much subsided now.
State of Mind: My eyes are really feeling messed up. Like they want to explode in two different directions. I have that sick trance that I discussed in my first AMT trip report. I can only assume this is how I will feel until the trip is over.
For the next few days after this, up to and including now, I've felt depressed and unmotivated (today is 11/8/02, I took it on 11/4/02, I think)
In conclusion: I think this drug is for less intelligent people. My intelligent half was constantly trying to interfere with me, telling me that I 'wasn't in control', and to snap out of it.
A scary thing was that I -couldn't- snap out of it, and still can't...
This drug is not worth the nausea and headaches it causes after the ecstasy of the first seven hours, however, a dramamine and a co-advil may make it better. Also maybe I'll just eat next time.
Also, I was a little disappointed, because the visuals were limited to some minor tracers. Not that it's possible to be sad or disappointed on this drug. It's just not. Negative thoughts are impossible to think genuinely.
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2002-11-09, 00:20
