quote:
Originally posted by PsychoTropic:
Metaphysicist, I personally find stimulants faaar more addicting than opiates...
You've never had an opiate addiction, then.
Don't try to tell me that you have, because anyone who has had/does have an opiate addiction would not be saying such crap.
Speed is
only mentally addicting.
When you find yourself in a position where you have any or all of the following:
severe stomach cramps
the sh*ts
can't find a position that's comfortable, because all of your muscles feel like they need to be contracted & expanded at the same time
are cold but as soon as you put a cover on you're too hot
Are so emotionally on edge that a commercial for feminine hygiene products can bring you to tears
when you want to just die so that it will all stop
when you are ready and willing to sell your grandmother for just a little bit of what it is that will take away the pain, for even a brief moment
Only then can you tell me that you've been addicted to something, and not until.
All of you sanctimonious shits who say 'Oh, oh, I've done speed every day for a month, but I got over my addiction' or 'I've been smoking pot for years and it wasn't too hard to beat that addiction'
or worse 'There is no such thing as addiction: it's all in your head'. - These people really piss me off. They think they know it all and have all the answers [I
am not trying to claim that I have them - I don't and I know I never will].
These kind of people have never even come close to what a real addiction is, or have someone close to them fall victim to an addiction and have to watch how it swallows them and spits them out; sometimes very quickly, sometimes over a long period of time, but it always happens.
here? Yeah, I suppose I am. But if you had the experiences with this stuff that I've had in my life you would think not.
---------------------------------------------
Several years ago I had a roommate, several years younger than myself, who was one of those who insisted that addiction was only in the head of the person; that he had done just about every drug and assured me that he could do any drug and never get addicted, because he was too strong willed for it to happen. And this just after a mutual friend had quit cold turkey. And he witnessed this guys 5 days of hell. Still, he said,
he could do heroin and not get addicted: since there was no such thing.
Well unfortunately for us both I
was younger and tended to act without much thought of consequences.
Because out of everything I've done in this life, what I did I will regret for the rest of it; I think it is the worse thing I've ever done and if there's any karmic action that will make my soul burn in hell, this would be it:
I bet him he couldn't do heroin for a month and not get addicted [no needles involved, he just smoked it]. It was simple: he had to smoke at least a quarter gram a day. After smoking for 30 days, he had another 30 days in which alls he need do was to show me that he could go 5 days in a row without doing any - and without any problem from not doing any. If he won I was to pay his share of the rent for a year. If I won all he had to do was to sincerely admit that there was such a thing as addiction. Being as young and sure of himself as he was he took the challenge. At the beginning I actively encouraged him do go ahead and smoke more. Soon enough he didn't need my encouragement, and not much later was doing more than the bet required.
All the way until the end he was still sure and indeed insisted that it was no problem, and was I all set to pay the whole rent for a year.
Well the 30 days ended and , needless to say, he lost the bet. The 31st day was smoking some before lunch time. But that was only finishing off what he had left, he said. Then he was buying some more, telling me that he had 30 days to prove it. Towards the end of that 30 days he did try. That was when he began to learn just what he had got himself into.
He admitted the fact of addiction. He also went through a lot of stuff to try to quit [he still figured that since he'd only been doing it for a short time he could still get off a bit easier than had he been doing it for years - which is a bit true, but it
still takes a great effort].
After a while he gave up trying to quit and just tried to re-work his life around it. But that, too, was doomed to fail. He started smoking more and more. His girlfriend finally left him [she was too afraid that she would be dragged into being addicted herself.
Came a time that I had to move out, things just got too f**ked up; he became a bit unhinged and he started to blame me for his situation, which, in all honesty, I have to take a good deal of responsibility for. True, he was a big boy [he was 24 at the time] and made his own decisions. But I
knew for a fact what would happen to him, yet I still actively encouraged him to do it. It was no doubt a f**ked up thing for me to do. But I knew people whose lives were messed up from addiction. I had a good friend who had recently died from an overdose, and I had just helped another friend quit cold turkey [we both had helped this guy, as mentioned]. So when this guy continuously sat there and insisted that there was no such thing as addiction it really made me angry. And, like I said, I was younger and thus didn't bother looking down the road to see where my actions might lead - I most
certainly would never do that to [most] anyone now, and I still ache when I think about what I did to this guy.
BTW, the last that I heard [a couple of years ago] this guy was still addicted, even after going through a couple of attempts to quit on his own [including his own cold turkey] and even two tries at an expensive rehab that his Dad paid for.
Let me tell you: it is
not not easy to go on with your own life knowing that you had a major part in ruining someone else's.
Granted, it was many years ago and it doesn't keep me awake at night [anymore]. Nor is it a major factor in my emotional make up. I've come to terms with it. I mean, he didn't have to take the bet.
[b]Well sorry about the length of this. I hadn't really planned to tell this story; it's not one of the prouder moments of my life.
I figured, though, that by knowing this, and knowing what you already know about me, some of you might understand why I react like I do here.
Of course, some of you won't, and other's won't care. I guess it really doesn't matter one way or another.
Except in this respect [as clich� as this is bound to sound]: If just one person decides not to mess with opiates for recreation and thus never becomes addicted, then it is not a wasted effort.
Am I over reacting
2002-03-22, 08:24
Morphine