One night at a bar you sit and stagger a bit off your chair. You figure you cant come home becasue you dont want to interrupt our little sleep over. 4 of my closest friends are staying over. Megz the hot hippy lesbian, long slender legs round perky breats and long dark hair that caresses her tanned skin. Katie (not so crazy) a young lusty tight virgin waiting for you to rip her open. Kristi a playful sweet petite girl who loves to play and carolina, a sexy dark haired dark eyed latina girl with large breasts and a sexy smile and tina. You decide you cant wait anymroe because you feel like your goign to pass out. You go to a pay phone and call me to come and pick you up. When i bring you home you are greeted by 4 scantily clad girls. Megz in small PJ short shorts and a short tiny baby tee wiht her long legs spread over a chair, Katie in a fluffy edged pink laced nighty wiht her black thong sticking out of the bottoms, Kristi already half drunk in a short rainbow ngihty wiht her left nipple sticking out and carolina in a scarlet bra wiht matching panties greets you wiht a devious smile. We all wish you good nite and you stagger off to your room. You watch me undress into my boxers and my black cleavage bra. The moon from outside reflecting on my skin. I undress you and leave you in nothing but your boxers. You ask me to stay and i tell you i cant and tht i ahve to get back to the girls. I kiss your beer stained lips and wish you good night.
All five of us go back to the couch where we started off and resumed to watching some porn. After about 10 mins i snesk off quietly to go see how your feeling. Your half asleep but i cant help but crawl threought the bottom of the covers and slide past your legs. I trace the inside of your thighs and firmly grasp your soft penis. You awake and smile at me. I kiss the inside of your legs and feel as you begin to harden. I suck on the tip and trace around the opening wiht my tongue carefully placeing the plastic bead on the parts that excite you. i put my lips over your head and trace along the side wiht my freshly manacured nails. You watch my head as I go up and down and let droll slip out from inside my mouth.. I taste some of your cum that slips out and i crave the taste for more. You watch as i devour it and go down all the way. You can feel my tongue ring tracing along all the parts of it. Sometimes afst and rought other times slow and soft. A voice comes from the door way "can i play" it asks. I look up and see carolina is already removing her panties and approaches the bed. She tells me its gonna be ok. She licks all the cum and spit off my mouth and slides her tongue onto my mouth. You watch in awe as i suck on her tongue and remove her bra to reveal her large round breasts. I then carefully massage her dark nipples until their hard and erecti slip one finger down and place my fingers ontop of her clit she moves back and forth trying to get away form this intolerable pleasure. I grab her rough\ly and she screams out for more. I place both hands to her dripping wet pussy and roughly touch the area that is now covered in a whitish cream. Im craving to taste her. I kiss the soft nape of her neck and continue to rub my fingers up and odwn her clit area. Shes brathing really ahrd and wants to be fucked. Still ahrd i tell her to get on top of you. As you enter her i sit on your chestand slide my slippery cunt over top your face and let you suck on me for a while. With my knees holing down your hands you cant do anything and you enjoy every minute of ths. As she rides you up and down i go wiht her and put my tongue over her clit to taste her sweet juices that are squirting out of her. Shes making loud noises and screaming out " oh FUCK ME" your so turned on now you feel as if your goign to cum rihgt then. You watch as you go in and out of her and see your penios is dripping wiht her cum. i grab onto your legs becasue it feels so good and i scratch you deep. It only excites you more.your so close now I can sense it and i want my turn so i tell her to get off and to touvh me. She shoves her fingers inside of me and plays wiht the delicate insides. She pushes her other hand over top and roghtly plays wiht my hood ring. Faster and faster he fuingers all covered in my hot liquid. You kiss me on the lips and massage my brasts. I grab onto you as i cum " i cumming im cummin ooh goood..." it feels so good my body shudders and trembles and then she keeps on goign until i cum a second time and scream out for her to stop " oh god it feels too good STOP!!! ooog god" Katie comes in to see what the ruckus is about. We tell her to come on to the bed. After a few drinks that shes had she doesnt refuse and joins us on the bed. When we take off her clothes her light soft skin is oily and sweaty. She tells us to stop and tries to get away. With one quick yank their off and expose the dark patch of hair that covers her tight warm pussy. She begs for us to stopo and almost gets away. I ahve to bring out my handcuffs and chain her arms to the bed. She tries to kick us away and so carolina sits on her legsfacing me and i rub her as you try to fuck katie. I tell you to do it. She begs and begs for you not to but your deepest inner tempatations tell you to do it. With one quick motion you slam your hard thick cock into her and work it in and out. A small amount of blood trickes out after your feel a sight ripping sensation. Shes so tight and it feels so good to fuck a young hot girl like her. After a couple minutes she ceases writhering and gives out little moans of approval. In the living room Megz is giving a nude Kristi a piggy back to our room becasue they are fully aware of what is goign on. All of us pile onto the bed. All of us are naked and horny. Since your the only guy you are givin the task of fucking all of us and giving us a good time. We decide to make this fair you ahve to be tied up so that each of us can get a turn and fuck your brains out. We llet you finish up on katie and she is let out of the hand cuffs so that we can replace her wiht you. Kristi sits on your face wiht her light bristly hair scraping on your face. You nibble on her sweet clit as Carolina mounts you and rides you hard and fast. When your about to cum she gets off and gives you a couple minutes so that youll be sure to please all the ohter girls. Youre having a hard time wiht all these delicous dripping soaking wet pussies right in front of you and round delicate soft breasts bouncing all around you. Me and Megz spread katies legs out as far as they can go and we both start sucking furiuously on her clit. She cries out and screams for us to stop. She cums four times and her body shudders as if shes having a seizure. Were done wiht ehr and shes allowed to go. Megz creeps up behind Carolina who is still moving up and down on your penis. She starts to caress your balls wiht her tongue. She grabs Carolinas pussy and rubs hard on her clit. Minutes before you cum Carolina screams out "aaaaaayyyy" her body quivers as she reaches her climax. She gets off aloowing me to get ontop of you. Slowly i start and move faster and faster. Its not long before you start moving wiht me. It feels so good. I make you feel so good. You cant stop it you cum inside me just before i cum and i feel your heat fill me up. I shudder and scream out at how good you make me feel. I get off and Kristi goes and cleans you off wiht her tongue. Carolina sticks her tongue far inside me to tase the goods you have provided. Weve all had a good time and you pass out a little later. Youll wake up and pray that it wasnt a dream.
the end
by me theres no cut and paste here i actually wrote it. By the way you ahve to be a guy for the full affects

i liked it!

yeah that would probably make it into playboy,
great story , i love a chick with a dirty mind

If anyone was going to publish that, they'd have to edit it a lot. English skills are so underappreciated.

Punctuation, spelling, paragraphs. These things are not pointless.

I gave up after the first few lines. Oh, and the actual style of writing was pretty boring, if you've ever read good erotic stories, or good stories full stop, you don't just say someone has large breasts, you say they have beautifully rounded and voluptuous breasts..

and "...with with sweet, hard nipples, like M&Ms"!! Love, Venus.

On the other hand, if you did the aforementioned touch-up work, you'd probably have something better than the vast majority of erotica in existence, if only because those people don't give a fuck about paragraphs, punctuation, and/or spelling either.

in a word, "NO." very unprofessional.

Agreed, no. It pretty much sucked.

Sorry.

cc

ummm its not that good yet, a lil more work could just get it pass

If playboy doesn't want it there is always www.literotica.com

I have never been much of an erotic literiture person, it was prety good.

- Drax

What The Shit, It Double Posted Again.

Sorry.

- Drax

[This message has been edited by C101C (edited 01-06-2003).]

Only if you added aliens and shit, and rape with tenticles and you need to have a comic relief side-kick.

quote:

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Originally posted by Prometheus:
If playboy doesn't want it there is always www.literotica.com

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Sadly i was going to suggest that aswell. Make it incest and people wil love it.

hey whats up pain killers?

I agree that you should run this thru a spell/punctuation check and break up some paragraphs. Aside from that, I thought it was really good in some respects, but could be better. Better descriptions (like wintermute suggested) would be imperative to get into Playboy. This is Penthouse at best.

What I really like is the way you involved the reader. Most erotic stories are the author with several others (real or fiction) or all fictional characters. The way you did it really helps the reader make the story his fantasy. You could take this further. Instead of saying "I felt this or that" say "you see me react this way" or "I say that I feel this" or "I moan and shutter" or whatever. You want to keep the story inside the reader�s head as much as possible since that is the effect you are going for. (Or at least that is what I think you are going for.)

One more thing, you spend a very different amount of time with different girls. It is OK to spend more with you since you are narrating the story, but you should try to give the rest equal time to each other. Different readers will be attracted to different characters and if you want to appeal to a wide audience in a publication, you can do that well by giving equal time to "different fantasies."

dam want to get married and have your friends over for a f---------k f---k

i would go with 'easy going' on this one. it is a good story and with a little effort it could be great.