im dating this girl, and the situation sucks.

we basically have nothing in common concerning beliefs, opinions, interests.
I don't know most of her friends. When she is around friends her age, she acts like a fucking retard(she's a year younger than me). If I had to make an eductated analysis of our relationship, I would say it is based on physical attraction and acceptance(she doesn't have much luck w/boys)
she is attractive( 6/7 out of 10), but I find myself analysing and thinking of more and more things I don't like about her appearance, attitude. She is good at everything she does, whereas I am the most uncoordinated average student in fucking history. I feel a bit insecure and inferiror around her, and this just causes me to resent her more in addition to the lack of mutual interest.
Basically, I get really jealous if she talks to other guys at parties or mentions former crushes, but at times she makes me feel depressed and shitty by being there. She doesn't do anything at all mean or deceptive, I just feel inferior around her. I like her, but every day I can feel our differences pulling us further apart.(We hardly ever call each other). I want htis to be a good relationship, but I can't stand feeling like the stupid inferior partner in the relationship. Can ANYONE please give me som advice to heal/salvage our relationship? The last time I went out with a girl like this(it lasted a crappy 5 months), I broke up with her and it took me almost 2 years to get over her. please help

did you consider that maybe it's NOT worth being with her?.. About the only thing you listed as a good point was her appearance.. Sure you're not having a girl for the sake of having a girl?..

The only advice I can give, if you want to try and save things, is to attempt to see her for who she is. Obviously she sees something in you, doesn't think of you as inferior.. start there.. talk to her.. I don't care what the fuck you don't have in common, find something you DO. Do things together so that you have something in common. Realise you're lucky to be with a smart and pretty girl, and that she's equally lucky to be with you..

It's your hangups that are causing the problems here, not really anything to do with her, from my perspective.

I agree with WM. It doesn't realy seem like it would be worth sticking around if you are so different.

It would proabably be best to end it nicely (as nice as possible anyway) before it blows up.

ending seems weird
I've never had to do that before, I don't know if it would be a good idea. I may have misled you from the first post. I meant we had little in common in the way of interests and other ideas, but she is really cool, attractive, and caring. I like being around her. It would take me forever to get over her, I dont know if ending it is the right move. Any other ideas to improve our relationship would be much appreciated

thanks

Could it be things have gotten stale? Perhaps drastic measures are called for. Precise ideas will depend on what kinds of things you guys do, or have done, but whatever those are, do something mad different. It also might help this inferiority complex of yours (which does sound like the major underlying problem) if you do something which could bring a genuine smile to her lips.

WOW!!! You want us to help you keep your relationship alive with a girl who is a suck, who acts like a retard, and who makes you feel inferior wherever you go with her? Well I'm not going to help, 'cause she's not good for you. I might help you if she were a 10 over 10, 'cause then she might be worth your putting up with all her crap!! But she's only a 7 for 10!! You should recycle her, not retain her!! Love, Venus.

[This message has been edited by pretty pinay (edited 01-03-2003).]

only been dating a couple of months, so not stale.
Maybe i have an inferiority complex, but i still dont feel very connected to her. There is love, just not very many common interests...i feel like there is a wall keeping me from connecting with her. Any other ideas/solutions would be welcomed.

End it.

If you really really really don't want to, drag it out a few more weeks and she will end it for you.

I have a hard time believing there's real love between you if you've only been together a couple of months and you're not connecting.

You said you have a hard time getting over girls. That suggests you fall for them awfully hard. You think that maybe the wall is there because this girl simply likes you, as opposed to falling big time for you? It's not uncommon for a guy to be with a girl who thinks he's fairly cool, likes him, but doesn't have strong feelings for him, and if he does have strong feelings for her, he starts to feel like he's not good enough in part because she's not as into him as he's into her.

to the moderators of this forum

please delete this thread. Since yesterday, i have realized how important life and love can be. I realize now that my request for advice was an immature response to my own insecurities and petty issues. This thread can serve no further purpose to me or any others, as it was started and continued for all the wrong reasons.

Thank you

No.

You can try deleting your first post, though.