Well, where should I begin? I am 16 and been going out with my b/f for a little bit ovr a year. He's the first guy I've had sex with and we started bout � year ago. Only problem is, may it be him fingering me, eating me out, or sex, I never have an orgasm. And I don't wanna say he sucks because I don't think he does. I mean it all feels good, but there never is any climax. During sex, it'll actually start to feel like I have to pee really bad after a while(30-40 minutes). Something wrong with me?

If you can feel it, I doubt there's anything wrong with you. Maybe he does suck at it, who knows.. but, also, some girls just have mad trouble orgasming. Try different things- change positions, try a little bondage, whatever you can think of.

Another idea- see if you can pull one off through masturbation, first of all. If you can't manage it with your hands and whatever else you try to use, with all the time in the world at your disposal, then you might have a problem. If you can, then go back to the first paragraph.

Are you sure that the feeling you get is of you wanting to pee? Orgasm for a female might feel like pissing because of the squirting and stuff. This may be a stupid question but like Spiffy said have you ever had an orgasm before? If you answer true to the first question and false to the second then my bet is that the sex just sucks or there's something wrong with you.

Hmmmmmm...
An orgasm is as much a result of your thoughts as it is of physical stimuli. While making like bunnies feels great, what's going on in your noggin at the time? Do you have any fantasies that arouse you? I'm sure that you must! Well, it sounds like you aren't letting yourself go. It isn't uncommon for women to defer their own pleasure to that of their significant other... I dunno..
At 16 I find it interesting that you have never had an orgasm through masterbation... or have you never masterbated? You might want to give that a try. Most people have solo sex to figure out what they like and what works for them before they decide to give the "real thing" a try. Perhaps you need to do a bit of practice on your own!
After all, no one knows what makes you horny better than yourself...
Just do what feels best to you...and remember to visualize the most erotic fantasy that you can think of... relax...and let nature take its course.
Ya know...I just thought of something else that has been beaten into women... Girls are often brought up with the idea that "good girls" don't touch themselves "down there"....and so there is often a lot of shame, embarrassment and inner conflict associated with masterbation. Masterbation is something that only "bad girls" do... and since you aren't a "bad girl"...
Boy...what a load of bullshit that line of thinking is!
Anyway... Relax... there is NOTHING wrong with you... You just need to do a bit more practicing is all... SOLO practicing...When you DO have an orgasm, believe me, you won't have to ask what it was... or if you had one...
Oh, that feeling that you need to pee? That's just from a bit of over stimulation ... it's real common.
Another thing...try not to consciously make having an orgasm an all important GOAL that you need to strive for...If you TRY too hard...well, sometimes that only makes it more difficult... Just relax, enjoy and let whatever may happen happen!

[This message has been edited by Ursus (edited 10-16-2002).]

I agree with what Spiffy said.

When i started to read i was thinking u need to go for longer (thinking he cums to quick)...but 30 or 40 mins...well.

There are two types of orgasm clitoral or vaginal.

so does he spend 30 mins stimulating ur clit...or ur vagina?

a LOT of women have a problem with vaginal orgasms, clitoral orgasms are much more frequent.

a lot of the problem comes back to foreplay and building up anticipation, not going straight for the erogenous zones (breasts/pussy).

again with Spiffy, if u can get urself off..then it may be him

croc

spiffy is right - try masturbating with whatever stimulates you -
and what gets you really excited ? do you use condom - or are you afraid of getting preggers ?
do you blow him and does that excite you - frustrate you ?
suck toss him off hard and I'll bet you will come when he gets his second erection into your cunt -
try without a condom (that may the problem ) - if he is normal he should be able to get out of you before he comes the second time -
if that doesnt work - tell him you will finish him off in the mouth or anus - that will motivate him to get the hell out before knocking you up

That's right, cause as long as he pulls out you have nothing to worry about .

i'm on the pill... i guess that's good. But really... is the pill REALLY SAFE?

quote:

---

Originally posted by MyUsername:
i'm on the pill... i guess that's good. But really... is the pill REALLY SAFE?

---

No. Everyone I've talked to that has any significant affect on the way I think, elder friends mostly, have told me.. "If a girl tells you she's on the pill, don't believe her"

-rick

quote:

---

Originally posted by richard5:
No. Everyone I've talked to that has any significant affect on the way I think, elder friends mostly, have told me.. "If a girl tells you she's on the pill, don't believe her"

---

That has absolutely nothing to do with how safe the pill is.

It's safe in the sense it won't physically harm you. Generally the most common side effect of taking the pill is decreased libido.. if you've only ever had sex while on the pill, that may or may not have had an effect.

Then im not sure what was ment by that post.. is the pill safe or is using the pill a safe method...

-rick

The pill is safe to use. But it shouldn't be used as the only form of contraception. I think Ursus pretty much got it all, you just need to loosen up. I know I don't like to orgasm cause it makes me feel selfish, but the first time I just let loose...I was blown away all day and couldn't quit thinking about how awesome it was. Just forget about him and concentrate on yourself and how great it feels. If you can't find that "great" feeling, then somethings not being done right, either on his part or even yours.
-Me.

I agree with Ursus. 1) Relax 2) Don't have the "goal" of having a climax in your mind. Just let yourself go into it (actually, let him go into it--hee hee) with nothing on your mind except knowing that you are about to enjoy some fantastic feelings. (3) But MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL--just like Ursus says--visualise or imagine in that dark recess of your mind that is reserved just for YOU (every girl has that one!!)....visualise the most erotic fantasy you have ever had, or have ever wished for!!! IT DOES NOT HAVE TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE GUY WHO HAPPENS TO BE ON YOU AT THE MOMENT!! That's important!! You can LOOK at him IF he is your turnon...you don't have to imagine him. But if he is not your biggest fantasy in the whole wide world, then think instead of whatever IS. It could be another guy, another experience, even something like getting gang raped by the football team, or by a bunch of men from Mars---if your mind happens to go off in that direction!! (hee hee)!! If you are letting your fantaxy dance in your head while he is making love to you, you WILL be very likely to have a climax!! But remember that if you don't, it's OK, because it will be like having the promise of a nice big present and surprise waiting to blow you away sometime in your future. Love, Venus. PS: Oh yes...DON'T COUNT on your 16 year old guy "pulling out" in time (like one of the posters suggested), 'cause that WON'T HAPPEN!! (hee hee)! Love, Venus.