Alright me and my girlfriend have been going out for 2 years and 2 months. We are really close, and have been through alot. Well anyway, about 3 weeks ago she told me that she thought this guy was "hot," and well it bothered me a bit, but hell you know no big deal. Well yesterday me and her went to a party together, and i went outside for a while to talk with some of my friends... Well then i went back in and when i get back in i here my girl friend and her friends talking and when they see me they imidatly shut up and start laughing. Well I confronted my girl friend about it, and she was a little (how can i put it...) i guess like surprise, and she played dumb for a while. Well i finally got her to tell me, and she told me it was because the guy that she thought was hot, friend called, and said that he was coming. And my g-friend asked who was coming, and the girl who answered the phone said "its not ____(guy that she thought was hot) so calm down." Well to make a long story short, i got nto exactly mad, but like bothered.(i don't know if anyone gets me) We talked about it and she keeps telling me not to worry, that she loves me and that i have nothing to worry about. Well i am worried that her friend (the one who answered the phone) will try and get my girl friend and this dude talking. Is it wrong that i am worried...

-Damn never really thought i would end up asking for advice on this board-

what are gay yeah thas got to be it

what i meant to say was you suck man I'm sorry I'm that guy.don't worry pal

in your words "Fuck off and Die!"

You only have two choices as far as I can see.One is trust her,after all a relationship revolves around trust.Or two dont trust her and split up.
If you tell her that you trust her but you still have nagging thoughts,the relationship that you now enjoy will be no more.

I do trust her that i know. Its just when i realized that she talked about this guy a little more than i thought i freaked. I was like what the hell. But i guess your right i guess i should either trust her or spit.

That's kind of tough.. you might trust her, and rightfully so if she would never think to do anything with someone else.. but if another person (like a best friend) puts the thought in her head, that's another matter entirely.

If you think it's a legitimate possibility that her friend might do something like that, talk to her about that specifically. Don't even suggest that she would be convinced to do anything, just that it bugs you that her friend might try. Even if she reassures you that it would never work, or that her friend would never try it, and it ends there with you still feeling a little leery, at least then you'll have put the thought into her head. Sometimes, if someone tries to get a friend to pay attention to a person other than the one they're with, they'll do it subtly enough that what they're trying to do goes unnoticed ("Oh, just talk to him a little, it's not hurting anything"), then one thing leads to another, bada bing, etc., unhappiness ensues. By bringing it up beforehand, you're protecting her from potentially walking into a mistake, and your relationship from the agony such a mistake would cause.

Of course, there always remains the possibility, however slim, that she would keep this in mind and still go along with it. I only say this to cut down the odds on it happening.

Hey A-F Army,
The fastest way for her to become interested in this other "hot" guy is by you making an issue of it when there is probably no issue. You are feeling insecure and jealous...naturally. But hey, she's with YOU, not with this other guy. At any rate, regardless of what you my think or want, SHE will do as SHE chooses to do! No amount of worrying or confrontation or fear will change that fact. Ok? She will follow her own path... If she has the need to experiment outside of your relationship, let her. If she loves you, like she says she does, she will come back to you. Otherwise, the relationship you now have with her was not meant to be...and you two will go your own ways...
Don't try to convince her of anything. Let her know that you love her and that value her...but DON'T hold on too tight! If she feels like she has no freedom to make her own choices with you, she'll go somewhere else where she will have that freedom.
So, be cool about this whole thing. You don't own her. If you want her in your life, it will only happen if she can see it no other way...and not because YOU want her in your life...but because SHE does. OK?
Lighten up and loosen up...She's an individual that IS seperate from you!

You both got very good points, i think i am gonna try Spiffy's idea. Oh and Ursus when i do ask her about things such as this, never once have i been mean about it, cause i know what you mean. If i am an asshole about it she will leave where she can get freedom, so i give her freedom. Notice how i never said i got angry at the top. She knows that i can get a tad bit jealous, but i told her not to let it bother her. However with this, when i asked her i wasn't really jealous, i was more like "Whoa, do you have feelings for this guy?"

[This message has been edited by A-F Army (edited 10-13-2002).]

What you say to her regarding your concerns of this nature are not necessarily what she hears... That's human nature. That's what makes clear communication difficult at times. Often what is said with the voice is not the same thing that is said with the heart...and the heart always speaks louder than the voice!

Yeah your right i will remember that.

fagot, a tad bit jeoulse stop useing "tad" or I'll break your addicts cd !

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Originally posted by a_global_threat:
fagot, a tad bit jeoulse stop useing "tad" or I'll break your addicts cd !

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The only threat you are is to the quality of this forum. At the risk of getting personal,go fuck youself

All bitch's are just a bunch of scanless ass hoes. Never trust your bitch. Just put her in check and beat dudes ass because she probally already fucked him.

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Originally posted by BiteMeProbation:
All bitch's are just a bunch of scanless ass hoes.

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Scanless ass hoes... (Thats a new one.)
Oh and its bitches not bitch's. Maybe you should learn how to spell (basic rule of plural nouns man) before trying to give dumb ass advice.

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Never trust your bitch.

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Why?

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Just put her in check and beat dudes ass because she probally already fucked him.

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Once again I commend you on your excellent grammer skills. (*Shudders at Sarcasm.) Its probably not probally. Perhaps you should "Engage brain before engaging keyboard." (Sorry I forgot who said that, good line though.) Oh and no she hasn't fucked him.

As it turns out, I realized I was being an ass. (Hah, look at that I answered my own question.) Thanks to everyone who actually gave some advice.

You could approach her the same way Joe Pesci did to that fat banker in the movie Casino. Though it might not make things any better.

You must stop worrying!! This "problem" is going to come up in every relationship. The reason: You are not the totality of your GF's life environment. Every girl has friends (especially GFs) who try to lead her one way or another. I think she will HAVE A MIND OF HER OWN, and will make the decision that is BEST FOR HER. Her decision may not be "the best for YOU", but that's too bad!! You should not (and cannot) control her total life environment, so you have to stop worrying, and trust that she will make up her mind about who she wants to be with-----and (hopefully for you) that will be YOU!!!! Love, Venus.

Yeah I realized that, read the end of my post above. Thanx though.