Alright.. this is my position.. in this confusing friendship deal.. is to me.. may be a long post :-/

I'm really close friends with a friend named Lisa. We hug each other every day ...3 times a day at school. And she occasionally kisses me on the cheeck (friendlu now). And.. my other "semi-friend", named John is a complete bastard. Pretty much he is a walking penis.

Lisa only liked to flirt with john, who obviously thought she wanted his body. In which she doesnt only to flirt.

Today, on the bus (we r sophmores mind u)... and when I got off, he touched and kissed her. She didnt want him to cause he had been actling like a jackass to her (throwing mud down her shirt from his pants-he slipped in a puddle of it) .....

And so on.. Now, she doesnt want him to talk or flirt with her. And he will only continue.

Due to my love for her, ya know, as in loving her even being friends. So i figured i would tell him myself to just, dont talk to her anymore or go near her. (i know he wont listen) .....so 2nd time i tell him.. i would just block him and force the idea to fuck off. So.... i guess i just wanna know what to do about this...

Feelings, flirtations, and whatnot aside, she's your friend, and he's messing with her, correct? If it was a guy friend getting pushed around for no good reason, you wouldn't just sit back and watch, would you? Stand up for your friend, whatever that entails.

I'm guessing your problem in this case is that your jackass friend won't listen to you. Well you can't really change his character. You could always try to be beside Lisa to protect her, but that wouldn't be practical now would it? I have to say...deal with it. Or you could beat the shit out of him to get the message across. It's like you have to choose between Lisa and John. Now that's a decision you have to make yourself. I hope you make the "correct" one.

[This message has been edited by just.landed (edited 10-12-2002).]

Are you Sure she doesn't want him to?

That's an insult. I know for a fact she does not like, or even want him in any way. She's a very good friend of mine.

I spent from 12:30pm all the way to 10:47pm today. And we probably kicked off the friendship to a higher level. And I may goto her church with her tomorrow, even though I am in no way religious (well, with my own beliefs and things).

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You could always try to be beside Lisa to protect her, but that wouldn't be practical now would it?

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What do you mean, "wouldn't be practical?" And I would choose lisa over john any day! He is such a piece.

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Stand up for your friend, whatever that entails.

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Indeed. Its how I feel.

So you have one friend Lisa who you want to bone,and a semi friend John who is a complete ass?
Well after you try to make a move on Lisa and you find that you read her wrong you can go back to being a semi friend with John,but if after telling him how you really feel about him he will probably tell you to fuck off,right?
Well now your problem is solved,you have
just reduced your circle of friends to zero and you will not have to worry about that problem ever accuring again...

It wasn't supposed to be an insult. Clearly you know your friend's mind. Just sometimes, we don't Always know what our close friends are thinking, and they can still surprise us.

Has she told him in no uncertain terms to back off, herself? It it's been made clear to him on all fronts and he's still pestering her, then it seems it does call for more drastic action.

Don't risk yourself, or Lisa getting physically hurt though.

hehe, i know ToothFairy.. but yeah. He won't back off. He'll only keep doing so. And trust me, he doesnt't care how people feel. He'll keep it up for a while until he is bored. And he never is.

And StGeroge.... shut up! for someone who registered last month.. you have no reason to say anything in this topic!

I think that stgeorge has a valid point.

You're going to have to choose between one or the other, or you're going to end up with nobody. Or you could leave the situation alone and see how it goes.

Often, if you allow a situation progress for a bit, you're able to find a more clear cut solution, since the problem also becomes more clear. More "surgical". If you try to intervene now, it could get rather messy, and fuck you over completely in the end.

And o yes, anyone who's a newb doesn't have a valid opinion, right...? Dumbass.


peace out.
sph3ric pyramid.


Edit- Then again, how about you just talk to the girl and your friend? Much easier, if more awkward.

[This message has been edited by sph3ric pyramid (edited 10-13-2002).]

I'm usually all for a peaceful resolution and understanding between all parties, but an asshole is an asshole, and one is almost always better off without assholes in their life. It's easy to say, let it go, if you're the one being fucked with- when it comes to bully types who are just doing it for a reaction, then if you pay them no mind, they'll get bored. It's much harder to do the same when it's someone close to you being picked on.

In a less clear circumstance, I might be more inclined to agree with the "let it ride and watch" theory, but unless we're missing a mammoth piece to the puzzle, it seems fairly straightforward. There's the asshole, there's the girl, and there's the guy who needs to be standing up for the girl, because no doubt the asshole knows the two are close. Inaction may provoke him into being a bastard even more than giving him a reaction, and definitely more than beating his ass into paste (if it becomes necessary).

Syntex,
I'm not sure that I understand why you feel the need to actually DO anything! You seem to have the misguided notion that you need to protect one of your friends from the action of the other. In fact, you have nothing to do with the situation. This girl that you feel the need to protect is a seperate human being with her own identity and her own lessons to learn. She needs to learn to stand up for herself... There is no need for you to get involved in her issues. You will only come out the loser. You are NOT her knight in shining armor, so don't try to play that role!
She doesn't need rescuing... even if you have it in your head that she does.

[This message has been edited by Ursus (edited 10-13-2002).]

Fine. If you have made your decision of Lisa over John then take whatever actions to get rid of John.

[Quote]I spent from 12:30pm all the way to 10:47pm today[\Quote]

Oh,I suppose you'll do that everyday and move into her house and go to the bathroom with her.

I agree entirely with Spiffy on this one.

Pyramid and StGeorge, why the hell does he have to choose one over the other? There seems to be no question about where his loyalties and friendship lies, and therefore no choice at all in regard to that. Did you even fucking read his posts properly??

Ursus sounds freakily like someone else.............

I DO? How interesting! Tell me about it!

OMG----Ursus is not "freakily" at all!! Ursus is totally correct, and seems to know which way is up!!!! Mr. Original Poster should Leave the girl alone!!! She is a girl, but that is not the same as "helpless"!! She can (and WILL) handle this fine ALL BY HERSELF, if she wants to!! As they say in America...."She is Woman---hear her roar"!! And besides (as Toothfairy herself seemed to suggest in her earlier post) it is entirely POSSIBLE that this girl doesn't think the "bully" is a "problem" at all, and may not want it "solved"!!! Love, Venus.

[This message has been edited by pretty pinay (edited 10-13-2002).]

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Originally posted by Tooth Fairy:
I agree entirely with Spiffy on this one.

Pyramid and StGeorge, why the hell does he have to choose one over the other? There seems to be no question about where his loyalties and friendship lies, and therefore no choice at all in regard to that. Did you even fucking read his posts properly??

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Actually, I did. In his original post, he has "love" for the girl. He calls the guy a "bastard", yet still terms him a "semi-friend."

He has two choices; apparently chose the girl. Therefore, he's already chosen one over the other. Because he's already made his choice, he can now turn his back completely on the "semi-friend", and deal with the situation accordingly.

In the original post, he doesn't seem to be completely certain of his position regarding the two. I think this justifies my statement, as I was merely presenting options.

He has no choice at all, does he? Then why the fuck is he posting here?

"Did you even fucking read his posts properly??" Do you even fucking read any posts properly?


peace out.
sph3ric pyramid.

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Originally posted by sph3ric pyramid:
Actually, I did. In his original post, he has "love" for the girl. He calls the guy a "bastard", yet still terms him a "semi-friend."

He has two choices; apparently chose the girl. Therefore, he's already chosen one over the other. Because he's already made his choice, he can now turn his back completely on the "semi-friend", and deal with the situation accordingly.

In the original post, he doesn't seem to be completely certain of his position regarding the two. I think this justifies my statement, as I was merely presenting options.

He has no choice at all, does he? Then why the fuck is he posting here?

"Did you even fucking read his posts properly??" Do you even fucking read any posts properly?


peace out.
sph3ric pyramid.

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Erm yes, I read anything I respond to, quite thoroughly. Or I wouldn't bother responding to it. Sorry, missing your point here.

There's nothing wrong with playing knight in shining armor once in a while. Self-sufficiency is perhaps the most important skill one can have, but not everyone can handle every situation on their own. Besides, this is a perfect opportunity for him to show that he's got her back. It would only become a bad thing if he rushed to her rescue every time something unfortunate happened in her life.

Well spoken Spiff...

Ture spiffy. And I wouldn't choose between the two. the friend being an asa would, if he wants to be a "loyal" friend, then he'd fuck off on his own.

As for being her knight in the shining armor, who all wouldnt? I mean, he is pretty much harrasing her and as a friend, who KNOWS the situation, should actualy HELP her out.

--the whole story summed up--

She only liked to flirt with him (cause he was a flirtasiou bitch).. but she didn't like him at all. she only likes to flirt.

he took it the wrong way, MULTIPLE times. so he thikns he has the previlage of touching/kissing her. I asked "was he much of an ass today" on the phone when she got home. she said she tried to ignore him, and give the signa she didnt want him to sit or flirt with her. it didnt work. so he jsut kissed and touched her til she got off. she doesnt want him to do that shit anymore. i even asked "so, are you going to flirt with him anymore after friday?" ....she said no.

Damn now I have to go with John on this one. Lisa brought it upon herself by being a flirting bitch. I think John couldn't help himself from taking it the wrong way, being the horny walking dick that he is. So some of the blame does rest on Lisa. John may be a bastard for not stopping the touching etc,but who can blame his sorry ass?

No, but he knows she doesn't want him. And like i said, he doesn't care.

And again I say, who can blame his horny sorry ass?

thats all great and stuff but eventually he is going to realise that this relationship really means nothing and he will have to live with himself for wasting valuable(sp?) time with a chick that he could have used to better himself...like read a book or learn how many shots of vodka he can take before he gets alcohol poisioning...

but thats just what i think.

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Originally posted by just.landed:
And again I say, who can blame his horny sorry ass?

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Giving Syntex the benefit of the doubt, I can.

Girls have to be aware, for their own sake, that some guys are either clueless or apathetic, and won't realize or won't care that she's only flirting to flirt, not because she's trying to get in his pants. That flirting, however, does NOT give the guy the right to do whatever he wants.

The "she led me on" thing is absolute bullshit. So what? You're telling me you can't see when she's cringing at your touch, if not telling you to straight fuck off? You think she's playing hard to get when she acts like the touch of your lips is a touch of the plague? Guys will cling to that as an excuse every time if they're able to get away with it, and that's all it is- a terribly weak excuse for utter cocksucker behavior. I'm fully aware there are females who will flirt, then back off, just to fuck with a guy- but that guy is well within his rights to walk away from her and not put up with it. If he doesn't, then he's responsible for his actions, not her.

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Originally posted by 80proofgatorade:
thats all great and stuff but eventually he is going to realise that this relationship really means nothing and he will have to live with himself for wasting valuable(sp?) time with a chick that he could have used to better himself.

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Is that really a bad thing? Even if a relationship winds up not working, you still learn a tremendous amount about yourself, her, and the way people will react to things in an intimate situation that you can't learn any other way. Unless someone has worked through dozens of boy/girlfriends, they'll learn something from the experience.

And, yet again, the feelings he and this girl might have aside, this sounds like a situation where somebody (namely John) needs a good fuck-off to the side of the head. That's above and beyond all the "she's just a girl, there'll be more" shit, so the stubborn motto of "bros before hoes" doesn't apply.

"Bro's b4 hos" ...i told john that its reversed this time around.

And Spiffy understands my situation more then you 12yo do.

And thanx spiffy.

I for the most part understand your situation. Fine Spiffy I agree this john guy is a utter cocksucker for not letting go of Lisa. What I was pointing out was that Syntex my friend you aren't really gonna be able to change John. You have to just let it go or take action. So a choice has to be made in that if you tell John to fuck off, more than likely he will have ill feelings towards you. But I can't tell because I don't know him or you. So it goes to the "hoes" in this case I guess.

yeah.. today ....she told him not to flirt or talk to her anymore. And yes, he did try to deny all he wanted was sex.. but my friend is smarter then his demented ass.

and if he still continues even when she says no, then he will just have to get his ass kicked. and btw, i told him to fuck off from me since i am not his friend anymore. no one treats girls like that, and its all against my morals.

Alls well ends well.

This sounds like a ver wishy washy girl to me. Proceed with caution.

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Originally posted by Syntex:
yeah.. today ....she told him not to flirt or talk to her anymore. And yes, he did try to deny all he wanted was sex.. but my friend is smarter then his demented ass.

and if he still continues even when she says no, then he will just have to get his ass kicked. and btw, i told him to fuck off from me since i am not his friend anymore. no one treats girls like that, and its all against my morals.

Alls well ends well.

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Good for you Syntex!

Spiffy McBang
Moderator

can you also be ombudsman - please - I'm new to your site and enjoying it tremendously -
BUT
can we have a seperate section - or some sort of ikon for sub-literate neurotic pubescents like this one