This story starts about a year ago. I had a drug/alcohol problem and some other mental health mood/paranoia issues. I met an interesting girl in one of my classes. Talked for a little bit after class one day; I went home. Saw her later that week at a party. I was really wasted as I was pretty much every night and she started making out with me. She was sexy; I wasn't going to complain. I dropped her off at her dorm and went back and partied more. The next couple of times we ran into each other we kissed like goddamn 8th graders for a while each time. It was around this time that I realized that she really wasn't as interesting as she seemed. It didn't bother me too much because around the same time I had decided to drop out of school and move to Bolivia. One night we were in my room and the sexual tension was thick. We started with some foreplay, heavy petting and such, and I said, "I want to make love with you." She said, "I'm a virgin." At this point I stopped, layed down and felt guilty. She had previously told me she wasn't "that kind of girl." Her actions had told me otherwise. Suddenly, I had found out she was a virgin and was interested in some sort of deep committed relationship. I felt like a guilty shithead. I walked her home and didn't see her again till she came to a party at my house the next weekend. She got really drunk and passed out on my bed; I got really drunk and after she passed out hooked up with this really hot drunk chick. The hot drunk chick and I continued to get fucked up until the afternoon of the next day so I didn't see the virgin when she woke up and went home. I walked the drunk chick back home that afternoon, nothing good really came of our little thing. After that I really didn't leave my house for about 2 months except to buy food, cigarettes, and liquor. There were a few parties at my house, but I didn't really hang out with anyone. The semester ended; I blew the money that was going to get me to South America, and ended up going back home to live with my parents. I got clean, saved some money, turned my life around and came back to school this Fall.

So, I got back to school this Fall went to the first party of the year and who should be there but the virgin. I was a bit tipsy, apologized for being a flaky dipshit the previous year and she assured me everything was all good. The next Friday, same time, same place, similar party she was there. It rolled around to 10 or so at night; The party had started at 3 in the afternoon. It was winding down and there were just a few people sitting on the couches in the living room. The virgin came and sat in my lap and started kissing me. After a few minutes I managed to extricate myself from the situation by saying I had to get more beer and hang out with my fraternity brothers some. Fast forward one more week, same place, around 10 o'clock, same thing happens. The next day I got a phone call from her roommate and sorority sister. Her sorority throws a party every year where the sorority finds a date for every member and the date is like a suprise-- they find out who their date is when they arrive at the party. The roommate asked if I'd be the chick's date. I said, "What the fuck? Why not?"

The party was last night. The chick saw me and said, "Oh, I'm so glad you're my date." Then she looked me in the eyes in a sexy way and kissed me. So, we ate dinner, started drinking. I only knew two other guys there; they were my fraternity brothers. I spent most of the time shooting the shit with my frat brothers while my date just kind of stood beside me with her arm around me listening to us. During the course of this, this one chick kind of wandered over and started talking with us. Now, this chick is considered somewhat of a joke by a lot of my friends. I assumed that she was just some dumb bitch, but in the course of chatting with her I realized I was wrong. She was absolutely fucking brilliant and witty. Perhaps a little socially inept but amazingly intelligent with a dry sense of humor. We hit it off really well. About this time, my date dragged me off the the side of the party and started kissing me. She was looking sexy so what could I do but go along. She said, "Let's go back to my room." I said, "OK." I stayed where I was and finished my beer while my date went to find a ride back to campus. She returned with the amazing, brilliant chick. We hopped in her truck and got a ride back to campus. Along the way I talked with the cool chick about cars and shit while my date sat silently. My date and I made our way to her dorm room and when we arrived she started again. Lights and clothes went off and the virgin became a virgin no longer. Morning came (incidentally, I didn't) and one of her sorority sisters came back and those two went to brunch while I returned to my room.

So, now I'm sitting here trying to figure out what to do. I'd like to try to get something going with the amazing, brilliant, cool chick I met last night, but I don't want to break the heart of the girl whose innocence I stole. I think I'd have a pretty good chance with the cool chick. I don't want to do anything long term or serious with the chick who was my date, but she might be looking for something like that. Then again, she has always been aggressive and slutty towards me, so maybe she just wanted to jump my bones. She is rather sexy, but we don't have much in common, our conversations aren't particularly good. Maybe after I while she'll realize how awful I am in bed and the kissing, while it does utilize the mouth, is no substitute for interesting conversation and she will solve the problem. But, what if she doesn't?

Okay, sorry about the long post. Thanks for the patience. Any suggestions? I know I suck with women and feelings.

Cool people = good.

Less cool people = less good.

Be glad you have enough of a heart to feel bad for the recently ex-virgin. That's as far as your goodwill needs to go. You might not want to hurt her, but unless you get into it as deep as she wants, you're going to. Be honest, etc. etc. blah blah blah.. you're not doing anyone any favors if you ditch the girl you want because you don't want to hurt the girl you don't want. You won't be happy, eventually the girl you don't want will figure it out and be unhappy, and the cool chick will just find another guy- one she might not hit it off with quite as well as she did with you.

Just be prepared for the girl you fucked to be fairly unhappy about it.

I hate to say it, but you realy fucked yourself. And how.

Seriously, if you like the cool chick go for it with her. Just be sure to give youself a through floging in front of the ex-virgin to show her that you are a complete idiot and that you fucked up royaly.

Seriously, do what you can not to break her heart, but go for the gusto with the cool chick.

I think I've figured out what to do. I have an idea of a perfect relationship in my head. I'll simply try to live that relationship. That is to say, every couple of days I'll run into her somewhere and I'll try to discuss the latest foreign policy news with her. On Fridays and Saturdays I'll go to parties, binge drink, and hang out with my friends whether she's at the party or not. Once every month or so we'll end up having sex. The sex won't really satisfy me, and if she's satisfied it will only be because she has some sort of impotence/small cocks fetish.

If she's happy with this sort of relationship, things will be all good. If not, the problem will be solved. She will break up with me because, although I might be attractive, I'm also boring, emotionally distant, thoughtless, and sexually inept/disfunctional/inadequate. During this time period the cool chick will find out that I'm not really boring, simply speak at great length about uninteresting things. I'll still be emotionally distant, thoughtless, and sexually inept/disfunctional/inadequate, but maybe attractive and interesting will be enough.

Of course, if this girl is clingy, nothing you do might matter. So how long are you going to wait before you decide enough is enough?

Stick with the one that you like. Not the one that you feel obligated to stay with.