 a little help for the kids - a mini guide to women
Ok, so I was checking out this board, and a lot of what is here is guys complaining about their female problems "why doesn't this girl like me" and so on.
In that light, as an old guy (wiser? LoL) I will write up a little guide about the nuances of "getting the girl" as it were (knowledge gained over the years- mostly by seeing what DIDNT work. =P )
we all can't be rich, famous, Russel Crowe (insert local celbrity male here), so heres a few things that all guys can work on to increase their success with women. Imma guy - I have a personal stake in this stuff !
1. CONFIDENCE
say it with me - CONFIDENCE - flat out attracts women - interestingly, this really isn't something that can be faked over the long term, it has to be an internal belief in yourself, that allows you to exude confidence
- it may sound overly simplistic, and damned corny, but try thinking positive thoughts about yourself on a regular basis, like rememebr to tell yourself something positive at breakfast every morning, or whenver, just on a regular basis, even if the thoughts are forced (sometimes hard to do with the hormones raging to be sure), remind yourself of things that you are good at, or things that are great about yourself (good hair, height, funny, whatever), remind yourself that yes, you can get the girl - eventually, it becomes ingrained, and will start to show externally - then you are money !
not confident things :
long, emotional conversations = you as 'just a friend' (thats why girls have their own girlfriends to chat with!)
Endlessly chasing after 'the one' - while tis works out in very, very rare cases - i like to think of this as "puppy dog" syndrome - no matter how many times she pushes you back, you keep chasing hopelessly - definitely a pussy thing to do
Being nervous or uncomfortable around women you are attracted to - try thinking of them as one of your guy friends (but no sacking!) if it helps you to get over the fear, or try to imagine something wrong with them (lesbianism, airheadedness, whatever) to 'take the edge' offa your nervousness.
Being unpracticed - gotta get out there and try, ya know? never mind talking to the hot chick at first, practice making conversation with the female clerk at the store, or someone at the bus stop, or whoever - with NO GOALS in mind - then carry that over to the hot chick, and you will be more relaxed and comfortable with the situation - and NOT a nervous pussy !
2. BEING FUNNY - humor is almost as powerful as being confident - people love to laugh, and girls are people, right? actually, scientifically, laughing released hormones within the body that produce good feelings - a "natural high" if you will - and if you can produce that good feeling rush in a girl, that's a definite plus in your favor !
Not funny stuff : sarcasm is good, but not overdone - cruel humor is good for when you are drinkin or smokin out with the guys, but tone it down when you are with a girl - dont get too insane - streaking in the middle of a snowstorm, holding a lit firecracker in each hand is funny, but more in a 'laughing AT you' than a laughing WITH you way - you want the second effect, not to be viewed as an insane weirdo.
3. MINDSET - think about the guys that get the girls, and try and pick up on WHY they get the girls, then try to emulate those traits (except the jackass ones) Get it in your head that YOU can have the same kind of personality/qualities, and LIVE it - girls have this weird radar thing that can spot someone who is a total poser/wannabe a mile away - it might seem like just a character at first, but ingrain it into your day to day life, and actions, and eventually, it WILL become a part of your personality and mindset. think tom cruise in mission impossible, or james bond, or Sam Malone from cheers, take a little bit of that, and include it in YOUR mindset, if that helps.
4. BE A MAN - I have seen so many guys go all pussy, acting like girls (over-emotional, over-chatty, overly-deep, trying to get really into the same interests, etc.) to try and get the girl - does it make sense if you think about it? I mean, if they wanted to go out with a girl, they would just go lesbian and have the real thing, anstead of getting with a little boy who is trying to act like a girl- Fact is that men and women are 'wired' differently in the head, and that is FINE, don't try and change that ! I am not reccommending that you try to bodyslam your chosen girl, or fart in front of her all the time, of whatever other macho stuff you can think of, but being a MAN is a good thing !
5. TEASE - women love to be teased - playfully, not cruelly - making fun endlessly of a girl in a nasty way because she has braces, or is a little overweight or whatever is not a good idea - making fun of her as being "really, really clumsy" in a playful way when she drops her books IS a good idea. Ever listen to how Howard Stern rips on women? and yet, every hot-ass girl that comes in there seems to want him, right? Even freakin Pamela Anderson wants the guy! now part of that is the celebrity status thing, but a lot of it is the playful way that he teases - he does go too far sometimes, so take some of that playful howard stern teasing, tone it down about three notches, and have some fun, and get the girl while you are at it! Teasing is a great thing in the bedroom, too by the way !
QUICK TIPS:
women are people too, with many of the same insecurities and fears.
fight your brain - if your brain is telling you that you shouldn't say something, cause you are scared of how she will react, just spit it out, and deal with it - 90% of the time, you will find that your fears were unwarranted.
even if you are rejected make damn sure to at least try - the 2 minutes of embarrasment will pale in comparison to the regret you might experience otherwise - and surprisingly enough, most girls are actually NICE when it comes to rejecting guys - the ones that are snotty, or mean about it, you don't wnat anyways - they will ne hard to handle in the future - just remember that the temporary feeling of rejection is nothing compared to an ongoing buildup of regrets.
women will tell you all day long that they want "nice, sensitive sweet guys" - but then go out and date the 'bad boy' types - lesson here? balance the two - be nice and polite, but not sappy, and be edgy and masculine, but not cruel and insane.
money doesn't buy love - age old adage, but so true - only golddiggers and ho-ass bitches will be after lots of gifts and fancy dinners and stuff all the time - a flower you pick for her on her birthday can mean a zillion times more to a girl than diamond earrings every week for the rest of her life - hard for guys to understand, but damn well true.
DONT BE A PUSSY - go ask a random hot chick if they would rather date a strong confident man or a pussy-ass boy - they may use the pussy guy to buy them stuff, or stroke their egos - but 95% of the time, they will end up with the strong confident man,
I guess I could go on and on here, but i have probably written enough to at least get a few of ya on the right track, and I know I have written more than the average teen's attention span these days can handle - LoL j/k
I realize i will get flamed for the length of the post, and probably some of the content, too - I even look forward to the honor of Nox getting at me, but I guess thats the nature of online forums - just trying to help some people out, cause i had to learn these lessons the hard way =). My email address is somewhere here, if anyone wants to write and add anything, or share some of their experiences using the tips here.
- just get out and try some of this stuff, guys - you won't be disappointed
-buddy-
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2002-09-28, 11:29
