Right heres the deal:
Chunk's Girlfriend is going to France for 2 months and a half w/ friends
Chunk Promises Girlfriend not to cheat on her
Girlfriend promises the same
Girlfriend thinks it would be fun to test Chunk's love
Girlfriend asks Chunk not to masterbate while shes gone
Chunk agrees (!)
As Girlfriend is leaving she says:
"Chunk, remember are deal - no stroking the salami- i will know if you do"
Chunk freaks out.

The question: Do women know?
Or is it one of those things women say-like "I will know if you drink from the carton"?
Or do women really know (like intuitivly)?

I know it sounds stupid but i am a little freaked out; are there signs or something?

Chunkmiester
Stupid post but is both intrigued and scared

They can smell fear, that's how she'll know, keep cool and you'll be fine.

well, if women knew, i think id get som strange looks when i get out of the shower at home... i think youre safe. on the other hand, ive never ben asked if i do by someone i didnt want to admit it to (as if im asked all that often neway). depends how good you can lie... maybe hold off for a week or two before she gets back, or be like 'i could only hold off for a week' in a joking manner. its not lyin is it?


[This message has been edited by ultrafresh (edited 08-21-2002).]

My advice: whack yourself on the head for agreeing to that so you can spend the time in a coma, without wanting to.

I know that i shouldn't of agreed to it but i had little intention of actually keeping my word on that until she said that she'd know if i bashed the banana. I don't think that i could hold out for nearly 10 weeks (shes doing Art at an adult learning centre and they are going to France and touring round pratically every gallery and all the sights). If i did hold out for that long there must surely be a medal or something. Anyway back to the point, you are probably right about the smelling fear part - whenever i lie she knows. I think its a case of i'm screwed if i do and i'm screwed if i don't.

Chunkmiester
Any actual females want to add to the thread?

Made a promise you didn't intend to keep, and look where it got you..

How's that bite mark on your ass?

If she knows you well enough she will be able to tell. But only because you two are making an issue of it.

It would be interesting to see if you have that much self-control.

Do any of you think you could go that long?

You should go through with it and keep your word just so it backfires on her. Do you know whats gonna come out when she gets home? Choke the bitch.

LoL You realize shes probably having sex with 3 people while youre debating whether or not to masturbate, right?

Hey Spirit - we promised each other that we would not even flirt with other people while we are apart. I intend to keep that promise and i think she does too. I think that i will try to hold out though- it will be interesting to see on which week my testicals explode with the presure of the spunk build up.

Chunkmiester
Its 8:19pm on Day Three in the Big Hold Off House and the pressure begins to mount...

It's actually impossible for "pressure" to build in your nuts Chunk. Though sometimes it can feel like it does. Since your semen is recovered and reproduced on a regular basis, every 24 hours or some such then you don't really have much to worry about. Of course, since you're thinking about jerkin' it it's going to make it worse. Also, inadvertent handling, that morning touch or just a light stroking when you're desperate, will begin to give you blue-balls. My suggestion is that if you're not going to keep your stupid promise, which you should, then at least don't masturbate for a week or two when she's coming back. That way when she gets back you'll be crazy horny and try to rip her clothes off, and if you do finish in her mouth she'll um...savor the fruit of your labors.

Blue balls... Maybe I'm just too used to pain that I never noticed it. Maybe.

I think blue balls only happens with constant teasing/erection without release.. but I dunno, only a woman after all..

oh, and if you stop masturbating for real, expect to have the odd wet dream.

I never had blueballs. Unless you count black and blue balls from repeated trauma.

I actually got a phone call from Mai (my g/f) last night at about 9:00, we talked for a while and then we came to the subject of our promises. I told her that i might not be able to hold out for the whole ten weeks, she jokingly said "i'll see what i can do".
This afternoon at about 1'o'clock a delivery bloke knocked at my door and asked me to sign for a parcel. This parcel had big black lettering on it which said:
"Viriguard
The affordiable sports
and
anti-masterbation device"
Mai, through great expense to herself had sent me a product from this website, http://www.infernosoft.com/investments/viriguard/index.shtml
It seems that she was deadly serious.

I have little intention of putting it on, having a drill thing near my nads would scare me alot.

Chunkmiester
I'm in the shit now.
btw just look at the "testimonials" part of the webpage, lol, i will not be adding to that page

I did check out the site, and it looks like the kind of thing that I'd think was bullshit at first glance. Giving you the benefit of the doubt for now, I'm curious.. how much is "great expense"? I never did find a price on the site. Also, I *really* wonder how your girl got ahold of one, since it says at the bottom of the order form that they'll only sell to physicians or physical trainers at schools or jails (sorry, "correctional institutions").

If you know, or could find out, that'd be really cool. Thanks.

Her mobile won't work in France but she should ring me soon enough(from a payphone). I didn't look around the site very much and i don't actually know how much it cost- It just looks expensive because it comes with its own little screwdriver, metal plate thing, "removal tools" (that look like the tools you see in Holby City when they do heart surgery), these rubbery sort of underpants and a condom style rubber tube with a hole at the top.
If, as you insinuate Spiffy, it is not in fact real- the embaressment of signing for it was quite quite real. I mean you should try siging for an "anti masterbation device" in front of a complete stranger. I bet that it made the postal guy's day.

Chunkmiester

In all honesty, I'm stuck. This is one of those things that's weird enough to be true, a "how the fuck could someone make this up" kind of deal, yet something just doesn't quite add up. I'm sure it's, in part, the fact that you managed to get it two days after she left.. four hours after you talked to her.. that's a little odd.

But I think a bigger piece of the equation is their disclaimer.

http://www.infernosoft.com/investments/viriguard/about.html


Just a thought.

This girl is out of her fuckin mind...Is she a Mormon or something?

You didn't check the link.

Chunk, you peice of shit. You had us beleiving you.

Credit where it's due, though.. that was an extremely believable setup.