Ah, where to begin... Being a militant nerdy bastard, I've been alone for most of my life, but now I've finally landed myself with a girlfriend. It's working out great, but we have a problem that I can't think of how to solve. Basically, she's afraid to have an orgasm. She's been through all these abusive relationships, and now she'll tell me to stop whenever she's almost there, and it's really frustrating. The way things are, she's giving me 3 orgasms a day, and I'm unable to return the favor. Any help will be greatly apreciated, since I'm not comfortable with such a one-sided relationship.

~Snake

What do orgasms and abusive relationships have to do with each other?

Best thing you can do is just do what she wants you to.. Give her affection, give her love if you have it, and be patient. Giving her a hard time about her orgasms will make things worse. Do your best to be understanding, don't make her feel defective or like she SHOULD be going all the way.

Take your time with her, and it'll work out

i had a girlfriend that was the same way, whenever she would get close she would tell me to stop and i never understood why, but she was in a few abusive relationships too. But i just stopped when she would tell me to stop and i could still make her feel good without having to have her orgasm, just be loving with her and give her time, after a while she wasnt so afraid and she felt safe with me, when she feels safer with you maybe things will be better

quote:

---

Originally posted by malaria:
What do orgasms and abusive relationships have to do with each other?

---

Well, it seems like none of her previous boyfriends have taken any interest in wether or not sex was good for her, so I thought that might have something to do with it.

To the rest of you, thank you for the good advice. I guess I will just have to give it time and let her work it out herself. It still makes me feel bad, though, not being able to do for her what she does for me, but as long as she is happy with that I'll just have to be patient. Thank you.

~Snake

A militant nerd?! Whoah, look out!

A militant nerd? I guess that's a pretty accurate description of someone who has spent half his life learning about guns and explosives. Ah well, at least I'm being honest about it, in contrast to most of the other nerds around here.

~Snake

She's probably just not secure in your relationship yet,which is ok, it takes time. Giving in to an orgasm is really opening yourself up to a person, she's probably afraid because of her past relationships. Just try to be good to her and support her, then she'll come around, no pun intended. Also, don't be afraid to try to sneak an orgasm up on her, when she tells you to stop just wait a few seconds and then start again, keep doing that and maybe she'll let you keep going in the end.

On a side-note, although this is about the only forum I post in, and therefore what I consider my &TOTSE bbs home, I'm on vacation from teaching for about 3 weeks, so if at any time my post isn't as comprehensive as someone would like then just say so and ask some questions and I'll try to expand on what I said.

The damn bbs wouldn't let me post a new topic, so sorry for cluttering your topic snake eyes

Buy her a dildo...

-Chibi

-Im just full of good advise^^