okay ive been messin around w/ this guy since my freshman year (we are sr's now) but last year he got a girlfriend and wouldnt techincally cheat...just sort of i mean little things like talking dirty to me and stuff....anyhow thats besides the point...they broke up a month ago and the day after they broke up we got together and she found out and wrote me a nasty letter accusing me of cheating with him and stuff and said HE told her that but he said no...well let me cut to the chase we've still been hooking up but he's been very depressed...painting his nails black and the works but i thought it was an act...well yesterday we began to have sex for the first time since before they were together but he freaked out and said "im sorry this is weird but i cant do this ...im not in the mood ...it's not you i jsut cant do this" and i was like are you ok adn he said not really ...i just need to go listen to some be quiet and drive (which happens to be both of our favorite songs) well he left and drove like 30 miles outside of town and back with that song on repeat...well today i got the bright idea to write him a letter and in it i said that he should always remember we are friends first before that other shit and im here for him and that ive always liked him and like him alot but that sometimes im not sure if he feels the same about me and that whenever he's ready im waiting for him ...well i wasnt gonna give it to him cuz i was scared but at the last minute when he was leavin i ran up to his truck, opened up the drivers side doorm, threw the letter at him and ran away...........well what do you think my results are gonna be?

No, Beerbunny......You aren't "crazy"....Just stupid. You aren't stupid to love him, and you aren't stupid to tell him you are available for him right now. But you are stupid to tell him you will just wait for him, or that you will ALWAYS be there and available for him no matter what. If you want anything to happen for you, you have to give him the same insecurity you have....you have to be as unpridictable to him as he is to you. Then if he really wants a relatioship with you, that will help him decide and come to you like he should. Love, Venus.

i dont know what the results are gonna be, but you shouldnt have sex with him anymore. for you and him both.

In the interest of keeping with my normal level of maturity. And because I want to beat everyone else to the punch... Beerbunny you are hot.

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Originally posted by pretty pinay:
If you want anything to happen for you, you have to give him the same insecurity you have....you have to be as unpridictable to him as he is to you. Then if he really wants a relatioship with you, that will help him decide and come to you like he should. Love, Venus.

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Umm... see, guys don't think like that. They just don't. I thought the manipulative women who says one thing and means another was just a stereo type but... Venus... you match it.

If two people are having a fight or two countries are at war, or two whate ever. The point is behaving the oposite of what you feel is just going to add confusion and noice and make things worse. If you feel you can do that to a guy you love... you're either exceptionally selfish or you're not really in love and were just using him in the first place. Love if when you'd rather be hurt yourself then let the other person be hurt.

Venus, you used to post some halfway intelligent shit. Stop smoking crack before you sign on. Or, start doing it if that's what it takes.

First things first- you gave him the letter, and while I understand the inclination to wonder what will come of it, why put yourself through that? Chances are you'll get some sort of response from him, so just wait for it. Don't push it, either.. if it's three days later, you call him or something, let him bring it up. You're apparently straighter in the head than he his about it right now, so he's the one that really needs to be comfortable talking about it. If I'm wrong, or if it seems like he's just ignoring the letter completely, then maybe ask him something about the letter, subtly bring that into a conversation.. whatever.

One thing that wasn't really clear from your post- when you said you wrote that you'd wait for him.. from the context, it sounded like you meant as a friend, for him to talk to, but it could've been meant differently. What is it? More importantly, what will he think you meant? (Hopefully what you really did mean.) Ain't nothin wrong with waiting for a friend to get back on track. Stuff beyond normal friendship activities, though, you might wanna put out of mind until a time if/when shit is square between the two of you.

thanks riot.....i dont hear that too often it made me blush

Well you should hear that more often.

Hi, Mr. Spiffy McBang: OK!!!! I'm OK now!! Love, Venus.

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Originally posted by pretty pinay:
Hi, Mr. Spiffy McBang: OK!!!! I'm OK now!! Love, Venus.

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Oh my... (magician falls over laughing). So THATS what happens when you become a moderator "Mr Spiffy McBang Sir". Venus... (magician falls over laughing again) never mind !

- Magician

UPDATE: well i gave him the letter....he currently is not speaking to me. his ex girlfriend (who he still cares for) wrote me another letter saying she knows we had sex the other day (one of my friends told her) and that she wont get back with him because of it cuz he'll always like me, but by the same token he'll always like her so its a fucked up situation...anyhow he wont even look at me so i dont know its easy to say oh he's immature either he'll get over it or he wont i shouldnt worry cuz he's a dumbass but you know, when you love someone its very hard to dismiss their stupidity over things like that. But the ex girlfriend is making things hard also w/ the questions and what not.

[This message has been edited by beerbunny69 (edited 04-23-2002).]

Hi, again Beerbunny69: Now you found out about him!! He doesn't deserve to be "loved" by EITHER you or the other girl!! I suggest you both just one night stand him......but don't mix that "love" thing with just getting what is good for you out of the "relationship". Hope this helps. Love, Venus. PS: You need to know that you can "one night stand" a guy like this one OVER AND OVER AGAIN. You are still one night standing him, so long as you don't let "love" get mixed into what you are doing. I have found it is a really good way to enjoy that part of a guy you like, but can't love. It keeps things much more honest and simple between you. But if he begins to "fall in love" with YOU, you will have to immediately stop "one night standing" him, or it will just mess you up again. Love again, Venus.