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| Sex and Affection Anything and everything about sex and relations. Please try to keep this forum on-topic, since things tend to wander a bit. Search through old topics before posting a new one, as questions get repeated a lot here. |
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#1
 2001-12-13, 15:30
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Synopsis 
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Too young for sex?
I'm 15 and am a virgin. I've been going out with this guy for 3 months and I really care about him a lot. What do you think is an appropriate age to sleep with someone? :-p
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#2
 2001-12-13, 20:23
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Brussels, Belgium
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Re: Too young for sex?
You decide.
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#3
 2001-12-14, 01:22
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Schwabe The Zer0 
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Re: Too young for sex?
whenever you want to
sex is a good thing I dont understand why everyone allows 'christian' values to condemn it...even the actual christian texts condone it...anyways now is a good time...3 months is a long time...
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#4
 2001-12-14, 15:36
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Chevy_22 
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Re: Too young for sex?
I've been going out with my boyfriend since I was 15. I am 22 now and still with him. We started having sex very soon after we started to go out. I never thought anthing was wrong with it at the time but after having two kids by the age of 19 my views changed. No one can tell you when to have sex, it just feels right. Beware the consequences of your actions and birth control does not always work!! I was on the needle last time I got pregnent. If you are responsible there is nothing wrong with sex.
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#5
 2001-12-14, 21:12
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MoRt 
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Re: Too young for sex?
It's your choice what you wanna do. Before you decide tho, think about what he wants. This sounds bad, but I'm a guy, so I can say it... some lads are fucking pricks who will do anything to get a shag. I know girls who have had baaad experiences with lads like that. I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS WAT UR B/F IS LIKE, THE FACT THAT YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT IT PROVES U R NOT STUPID ENUF TO GET TRICKED BY SUM1. I'M JUST SAYING, BE CAREFUL, THINK ABOUT IT, YOU DON'T WANNA MAKE A MISTAKE AND RUIN WAT U'VE GOT. Now I've found the caps lock button again... Make sure you know each other, think about what he wants (the 1st time will b awkward for him to, whether he's a virgin or not, believe me!). Most of all, don't let all of this bullshit get in the way of wat u want... and HAVE FUN! (  ) ------------------ bYe ByE bAbY...
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#6
 2001-12-14, 23:11
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syphon detonator 
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Re: Too young for sex?
fuck him now. 3 monthes is long enough if you both want it. i think its retarded that time even matters to girls. if you like the guy fuck him on the first date dont let time tell you haw to live your life.
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#7
 2001-12-15, 06:21
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shadow_stalker 
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Re: Too young for sex?
hahaha good one syphon we need more chick to fuck on the first date
------------------ whos ur daddy im ur daddy cos i fucked ur mumma
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#8
 2001-12-15, 06:38
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Krigerhelt 
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Re: Too young for sex?
Chevy, if you're having sex at 15, you're not responsible.
Obviously, you're planning on having sex with someone because you think you're expected to, rather than you want to. And if you say you want to, wait another few months, and laugh at yourself when this guy splits for someone else to consummate his erection. You're 15; nowhere near prepared for a family. Sex is a dumb decision at this point in time.
Doesn't anyone remember when your virginity was given to someone who cared about you for more than a high school relationship? When you had sex and GAVE your virginity to someone instead of having sex to LOSE your virginity? Or is it just me?
------------------ Who travels widely needs his wits about him; The stupid should stay at home: The ignorant man is often laughed at When he sits at meat with the sage.
[This message has been edited by Krigerhelt (edited 12-15-2001).]
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#9
 2001-12-15, 09:33
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Alan Smithee 
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Re: Too young for sex?
youre thinking back to... never. your veiw of history is clouded by prudish historians attempting to inspire virtue, hell even the puritans had teenage pregnancy. want to know the reason why? because as a species we are designed to breed upon reaching sexual maturity.
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#10
 2001-12-15, 14:25
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Fred Madison 
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Re: Too young for sex?
Hm, contraception. It doesn't always work. It works enough to be safe to use. Many things work most of the time, sometimes it don't.
I myself don't believe in virginity. I especially don't believe in losing virginity. You do not lose a thing in your 1st experience. Maybe a hymen if the female has it, but who cares. I think it is instead an experience from which you gain better understanding. I'm not using this as a reason to have your 1st sexual intercourse with anyone though. Of course you don't want it to be a bad experience, but it wouldn't necessarily be bad at the age of 15.
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#11
 2001-12-16, 00:42
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Sweet Victory 
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Re: Too young for sex?
well, i personally think that losing your virginity to someone who you are questioning having sex with- isn't really a good thing. its nice to have your virginity to give to someone whom you truly love. you may regret sleeping with this kid later in life when you meet someone who you want to give everything too. (including your first experience with sex). its totally your choice obviously but if you feel the need to ask a message board's opinion on the subject-i would re-evaluate the situation and find out how you truly feel before going through with it.
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#12
 2001-12-16, 01:13
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MoRt 
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Re: Too young for sex?
Sweet Affection, I see where u r coming from, but u do not have to give ur viginity to the 1 person u r gonna spen the rest of ur life with. 1) u may never meet them (sorry, but it had 2 be said), 2)They may be the worst fuck in the world, and you'd never know the difference, 3)(I say it again) SEX IF FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just be sure you wanna fuck him, for the right reasons. It probably won't last... relationships tend not to at our age, (I'm 17), live for the moment, but think of the future... if that makes sense... sorry if it doesn't, I'll read this again in the morning to make sure it does... I'm drunk & exhausted, just got hamo from work. Nite nite ppl!  ------------------ bYe ByE bAbY...
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#13
 2001-12-16, 21:21
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MoRt 
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Re: Too young for sex?
ok it's near enough...
------------------ bYe ByE bAbY...
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#14
 2001-12-17, 07:40
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maddcow007 
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Re: Too young for sex?
I never had sex till i met the girl i was going to be with forever (so i think n e ways). DOnt do it so young, take it from me, im a guy.
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#15
 2001-12-17, 07:45
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Re: Too young for sex?
>>>>youre thinking back to... never. your veiw of history is clouded by prudish historians attempting to inspire virtue, hell even the puritans had teenage pregnancy. want to know the reason why?<<<<< Because they got married when they were teenagers. My cousin is right, you are talking like virginity is a bad thing ot be shaken off or removed like a cancer, not something you give someone you love. You have a hymen for a reason. There is no question in life serious reflection on your genitals cant answer. Seriously reflect. As usual, Ms. Victory is right too. Marry me baby. 
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#16
 2001-12-17, 07:49
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Re: Too young for sex?
Id also like to congratulate and agree wth MadCow. That is the wisest course of action. Finding stuff out about sexuality with another person is one of the strongest foundations for a relationship. Its much healthier than just going into it like two seasoned professionals, then the meaning is lost and it becomes something you do to get off. Its also more fun and exciting.
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#17
 2001-12-17, 10:52
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Alan Smithee 
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Re: Too young for sex?
No im talking about when they got married after they got pregnant it was called a boarding baby. you don't here much about that kind of thing, you see most historians act like virgil. they attempt to inspire virtue by pointing back to a Romanticized virtuous, yet nonexistant past.
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#18
 2001-12-17, 17:37
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Re: Too young for sex?
There are always degenerates. No one was praising puritans anyway, my cousin was asking about any time when sex and love were connected and people cared about each other and had a sense of honor and duty. This is not non-existant, and is a consistent theme among those who elevate themselves over the thralls. But but but, there are more thralls, so they must be right.
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#19
 2001-12-18, 06:21
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Alan Smithee 
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Re: Too young for sex?
no the elite didn't love those they married in the past. it was for the most part an act of politics. Affairs were the matters of love.
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#20
 2001-12-18, 14:41
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Rob 
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Re: Too young for sex?
quote: Originally posted by Alan Smithee: no the elite didn't love those they married in the past. it was for the most part an act of politics. Affairs were the matters of love.
True. But.... The protection of virginity is very, very far from a christian idea, anthropologists (not historians) will gladly show you evidence that even so called primitive people valued it. The sindebele (or ndebele) speaking tribes of africa would punish both parties of an unmarried pregnancy with death - often the young man would be ordered to cut the baby out of the girl, thus killing her, before being killed himself. The only people who do not value virginity are the current, post contracption, post war, decadent generations. As the decadance of modern society has increased, so have unwanted teenage pregnancies. Yes, our natural state is to breed as soon as we are able (around 12 in girls, around 15 in boys), but only the very decadent would suggest that because something is natural we should do it. It is natural for me to hunt down and kill my enemies, arguably to eat them afterwards, but then, I am a troll.... ------------------ Souvent femme varie, bein fol est qui s'y fie
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#21
 2001-12-18, 20:38
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Alan Smithee 
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Re: Too young for sex?
Untrue, the ancient egyptians did not value virginity and they had argueably one of the earths most stable cultures.
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#22
 2001-12-18, 22:55
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syphon detonator 
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Re: Too young for sex?
very true. also the roamans (boys) gave thier virginity to men. it was a right of passage for them. now try telling me thats not sick but they still did it.
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#23
 2001-12-19, 05:32
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eCHO 
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Re: Too young for sex?
well im 15 and i think about this alot. ok there are two options that i always think about. 1. you chose someone you care about to lose your virginity to 2. you lose your virginity to better enjoy your intimate experience with the one you truly carea bout
now my pessimistic catches: 1. the thing is that you might care about the person then, but there is always teh possibiblity that they will hurt you badly so you migth regret the fact later and wish you had waited to find teh really right person for the time
2. you might find that really right person for the time and feel guilty that you couldnt enjoy a truely intimate time with them when they were teh one yo really wanted in teh first place
all this confusion in my overanalytical mind of mine might, ney is definately the reason why im still a virgin. im a creature of understanding i dont want to know everything just understand the complicated things. so i guess im going to think about it utnil i find my own conclusion on which one seems worse to me
and im not saying one word about cicilizations because i know all of teh things your sying and a little more i think but i dont feel like getting so contravercial teh day before i take my emotional leap toward someone
[This message has been edited by eCHO (edited 12-19-2001).]
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#24
 2001-12-19, 06:49
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Fred Madison 
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Re: Too young for sex?
There is no such thing as losing virginity.
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#25
 2001-12-19, 06:54
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Alan Smithee 
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Re: Too young for sex?
quote: Originally posted by syphon detonator: very true. also the roamans (boys) gave thier virginity to men. it was a right of passage for them. now try telling me thats not sick but they still did it.
no that was the Greeks. the Romans considered it disgraceful for a man to be in a nonsuperior position.
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#26
 2001-12-19, 10:57
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Re: Too young for sex?
my ex-gf was 19 when I met her first. She had been a really really good looking girl, one of those which makes every boy think that she�s got a bf and 10 worshipers. But never boys even dared to talk to her. So I was her first bf and her first lover. After 2 and a half years I was jolly well fed up with her. That was winter 1999. She still calls me once per week, became anorexic twice and tried to commit suicide right in front of me.
Yesterday she called me, if I would like to dinner with her and her parents on Christmas Day ...
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#27
 2001-12-19, 11:03
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maddcow007 
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Re: Too young for sex?
quote: Originally posted by BSK: Yesterday she called me, if I would like to dinner with her and her parents on Christmas Day ...
*Smiles*  Awwww thats really sweet, what did u say?????? (holds his breath)
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#28
 2001-12-19, 14:42
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Rob 
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Re: Too young for sex?
quote: Originally posted by Alan Smithee: Untrue, the ancient egyptians did not value virginity and they had argueably one of the earths most stable cultures.
Read it again. I didn't say ALL. But, in any case you are only partly right - the early eqyptians did value it, it was only later as the civilisation was in decline that they did not. The same is true of the Romans. The inference is that our civilisation is in decline. [This message has been edited by Rob (edited 12-19-2001).]
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#29
 2001-12-19, 16:11
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Re: Too young for sex?
quote: Originally posted by maddcow007: *Smiles*  Awwww thats really sweet
just wanted to point out how important the partner for first experiences with sex can be ... :P
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#30
 2001-12-19, 22:30
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Synopsis 
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Re: Too young for sex?
Well, first of all, thank you for all the replies. I do appreciate it very much. It made me think. Especially one person's comment (unfortunetly I forgot who it was now and I am too lazy to look, but I think I know who you are). Somebody mentioned that I must think that I HAVE to have sex since I made a discussion board about it. Quite honestly, I am not too worried about having sex. I wasn't directly asking if I should be having sex right at the moment. It was more of an example. I am not scared to have sex nor am I very religious and believe that I should not have sex until I am married. I simply wanted to know some other peoples' opinions about the issue. Wheter I am going to have sex (or not) based on this discussion board? I don't know. Sure, it might have a little something with my thoughts about it, but I think when the times comes I will think about more important reasons than a discussion board at totse.com . Don't take this the wrong way and think that I am calling your opinions worthless. This whole thing was more about having sex in general, not just me. But thank you for those that wanted to help me.
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#31
 2001-12-20, 01:58
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Alan Smithee 
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Re: Too young for sex?
quote: Originally posted by Rob: Read it again. I didn't say [b]ALL. But, in any case you are only partly right - the early eqyptians did value it, it was only later as the civilisation was in decline that they did not. The same is true of the Romans. The inference is that our civilisation is in decline.
[This message has been edited by Rob (edited 12-19-2001).][/B]
No, sexual equality and liberation were the norm in egypt from about 2600 B.C. well before the reign of Rahmses in the new kingdom, often considered to be the height of egyptian civilization. To truly put this in perspective, the ancient egyptian state ruled by a pharo existed untill it was conquered by alexander the great in roughly 340 B.C. that streach of time is twice and agian how long rome endured as bouth an empire and a republic.
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#32
 2001-12-30, 02:59
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eCHO 
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Re: Too young for sex?
some one like seventh grade history.....
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#33
 2001-12-30, 06:42
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steve45220 
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Re: Too young for sex?
Instead of asking whether or not you should have sex with this particular person why not ask yourself whether or not you should have sex with every good looking guy who will have you. If you use adequate protection what is wrong with fucking hundreds of different guys. Well, in my opinion nothing is wrong with it. However, i think the act of making love is the most beautiful experience in the whole wide world. And, having sex with someone for any reason other than love cheapens the act. When i was in the military i knew a guy who would frequently have sex with prostitutes. He claimed the reason was he saw no difference in spending $25 for a hooker or, spending $25 for taking a girl on a date. Except with the hooker you were certain to get sex. At that time even though i could not articulate why, i did not agree with him. At this time im afraid i do agree with him. What makes a prostitute any different than a girl who has sex with a lot of guys who take her out and show her a good time? Now, im not saying being a prostitute is a bad thing. Im not even saying sex is a bad thing. Im just saying that the experience of making love is so beautiful as to make the experience of sex negligible. Of course there are those that say you may never fall in love. Well, that's true. So, if you wait for love and, never find it that means you will never have experienced being used by someone for physical pleasure. Big fucking deal.
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#34
 2001-12-30, 06:42
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Alan Smithee 
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Re: Too young for sex?
No, I learned that like most things I know on my free time. you know some people have non compulsory achademic interests. I belive it was Mark Twain; samuel clemens if any of you wise asses thinks theyre witty by pointing that out, who said nothing has so interfered with my education as school.
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#35
 2001-12-31, 12:52
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PUnKinpiE 
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Re: Too young for sex?
contraception never bloody works
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#36
 2002-01-01, 23:31
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Synopsis 
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Re: Too young for sex?
I know this is gonna be totally off-subject, but I just had to tell you guys this... New Years I had a party with lots of people and lots of alcohol as well. Naturally, both, my boyfriend and I, got wasted. So I was at the point where I said I was gonna sleep with him. He went outside to his car, got some condoms, and came back upstairs. So there we are back in my room, he's good to go, I'm chillin, and we're just foolin around for a little bit. So then just as we about to do what this whole discussion board is about, my older brother walks i on us. Luckily, he didn't suspect anything (blankets! what a life saver!). So then he leaves again. Then, we were gonna give it another try, and once again we fail. This time my brothers best friend came to look for one of that guys at my party cuz his ride was there. Then, we pretty much just said "fuck it". I feel kinda bad for my b/f now... I think that the alcohol had a big effect on me! How great would that have been? Losing my virginity on New Years Eve. I coulda told all my friends "IT WAS SO AWESOME!I SAW FIREWORKS!" Yup... but I think I'm not gonna attempt it again for a while... unless I'm drunk again.
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#37
 2002-01-02, 04:39
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steve45220 
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Re: Too young for sex?
Well, if you dont think it's the right thing to do when you are sober then im afraid it's still not going to be the right thing to do when you are drunk. But, if you are only waiting till you get drunk again to do it then you obviously dont think it's wrong. Apparently you have'nt yet done it because you lack the courage. Courage is something that should come from within yourself and, not from a bottle of alcohol. In addition, if you are brave enough to do it when you are sober then you may be at least thinking straight enough to use adequate birth control.
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#38
 2002-01-02, 05:23
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pretty pinay 
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Re: Too young for sex?
OMG---!!! Never saw so many puritanical PRUDES on one board!!! The problem with you "don't lose your virginity to just anyone" posters is that you MIX UP the ECSTASY OF PURE SEX with that thing called "LOVE"!! THERE IS NO NECESSARY CONNECTION BETWEEN THE TWO!!! Of course, if they HAPPEN to come together, GOOD FOR YOU!! But it is NOT NECESSARY!! You should think of them completely separately. There is absolutely nothing more incredibly delicious and ecstatic than the SEXUAL experience---with or without the totally unrelated ingredient of "love"!! If there was anything else that enjoyable in the whole world, no one would look at it as something to avoid or postpone or engage in only with someone you "LOVE"---whatever that word means!! For some reason, westerners just can't separate the wonderful world of pure sex from that ambiguous, fuzzy, mostly unachievable world of "LOVE" (which means totally different things to each person, anyway). And, Mr. Madison, there is no such thing as "losing your virginity"!! The girl is a "virgin" for EACH MAN she makes happy. It is a totally RENEWABLE RESOURCE, to be given away each and every time she makes the man happy. So loosen up, you westerners. We don't have your prudish, sad and sorry puritanical views of the sexual experience here in Asia. Mixing concepts of sex with concept of love with just F___ up you minds. Glad I could help. Love, Venus.
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#39
 2002-01-03, 16:58
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ACER 
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Re: Too young for sex?
Um?
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#40
 2002-01-04, 03:01
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Fred Madison 
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Re: Too young for sex?
I guess you can lose virginity, you can lose that state of not ever having sex but that isn't losing anything that is real. It isn't an issue if it isn't a real actual thing.
What is making love? The love is already there. It's called sex, not love. The people are making sex when they're having sex. I call it having sex with someone you love. Having sex with someone you love can add to that love but the love is already there. It didn't make it. Making love is one of those politically correct phrases. It's there just to be nice and special (rather than that boring sex term) and it isn't truthful. Another little thing that adds to a dangerous politically correct world.
Having sex with someone you have more feelings for than others in the past can be a better experience than with those others, yet it is still sex. And there probably are times when a couple have sex but it doesn't turn out to be anything different than those sex experiences in the past, even though they may love eachother.
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#41
 2002-01-04, 03:50
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pretty pinay 
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Re: Too young for sex?
SO KORRECT KA DYAN, (you are so correct), MR. MADISON!!! I FELT SO "ALONE" HERE ON THIS TOPIC UNTIL YOU POSTED!! Now I feel so close to you, I'll just call you Fred!! Thank You, thank you, thank you, Mr. Fred!! (hee hee_!! Love, Venus.
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