I'm noticing more and more a trend about here, so I figure it's about time to post this.

I find more and more that there is a demand for something... a demand to surrender. Women, men, everyone wants to surrender power when it comes to sex.

Even Nihil, who proclaims to be the biggest badass on this board, wants to be dominated in bed.

Why?

I have my own theories, and my own tastes, but I'm curious. Who here wants to be tied helplessly to a gigantic wrought-iron bed with satin sheets? Who wants to have your bound body teased with mink gloves, whipped cream, ice cubes, and just the right amount of nipple torture... right to the edge of orgasm as you squirm helplessly in your bonds... then finally fucked until you can't see straight?

A raise of hands will suffice, but delving into your sexual psyche and coming up with reasons why will get you bonus points.

[This message has been edited by Fixit (edited 07-05-2001).]

Ok I'm odd. I'm keeping my hands firmly down. And very free. If a girl want to be on top, or "direct" the action... that I'm cool with. But if either party is tied down... you doing stuff to a person, not with them.

I dunno... I don't want to be in control of another person. And I certainly don't want to be controlled. To move away from sex to a more general case... I'll lend money to friends, but I won't ask for it. (Hence I always keep at least a small amount on my person, even if I'm just going to return a video or something).

[u]RISK & Excitement[/u]
But then I'm not a risk taker. Risk does not turn me on. Exitement for me, is when something works or comes together that shouldn't have. I get involved in large "projects", yes programming, but also clubs, techy crews (sound video lighting backstage) etc. When that stuff does better then expected, when a major sponsor sighs up and money pours in, when membership numbers double, when a friend gets a really great job offer, when I meet interesting and unexpected people... thats exciting.

[u]Trust[/u]
Theres this aspect too. I don't think I trust anyone enough to play those kind of games even if it did exite me. If you going to put your sel fin a cituation like that, you MUST turst the other person. Trust in love is a fragile thing. If its broken... its can break alot of other things too. Hence the broken heart symbolising it. The heart (historically) thought to be where the mind was, where thought came from, and I believe the spirit too.

quote:

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Originally posted by Fixit:

I find more and more that there is a demand for something... a demand to surrender. Women, men, everyone wants to surrender power when it comes to sex.

Even Nihil, who proclaims to be the biggest badass on this board, wants to be dominated in bed.

Why?

I have my own theories, and my own tastes, but I'm curious. Who here wants to be tied helplessly to a gigantic wrought-iron bed with satin sheets? Who wants to have your bound body teased with mink gloves, whipped cream, ice cubes, and just the right amount of nipple torture... right to the edge of orgasm as you squirm helplessly in your bonds... then finally fucked until you can't see straight?

A raise of hands will suffice, but delving into your sexual psyche and coming up with reasons why will get you bonus points.

[This message has been edited by Fixit (edited 07-05-2001).][/B]

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I'm relatively new here, having lurked for a bit, but I suppose this is as good a place as any to jump in, as it's one in which I have some knowledge and experience. I've played both sides of the BDSM relationship, and find that it offers a level of intimacy and release that nothing else can.

There are several reasons for this. Before I go into them, a nit I shall pick: what you refer to as "surrender of power", while somewhat accurate, is not completely so. The submissive is the one who sets the limits of what is acceptable, and to what degree. If se uses hir safe word, everything stops. In a very real sense, the submissive holds the power, while the dom holds the illusion of power.

With that understood, once limits have been agreed on, and play takes place, the submissive DOES give up physical power over the immediate situation, and along with it the responsibility for it. Se does not have to act unless ordered to, does not have to plan what's going to happen next, does not have to think about anything except the moment and the experience of the wonderful and terrible things being done to hir. It allows for total concentration on the moment. With the addition of bondage and/or sensory deprivation, the power exchange becomes deeper. Not only does the sub not have to act, se is unable to. This allows for even more concentration on the play in question. With a reasonably skilled dom, and a sub who has had movement, and all sensations save touch taken away, the experience can become quite wonderfully overwhelming. With no reference points, time becomes hazy. Minutes become hours. There is nothing left except what is given. At a certain point, the lightest touch eventually becomes unbearable torture. Unbound, all but the most strong-willed will finish things off before this point, but when their ability to do so is taken, when what would be unbearable teasing is bourn, new heigths of agony and ecstacy are reached. When release is finally granted, the results can be spectacular.

For the more daring, mixing in pain takes things on a slightly different, but eventually no less enjoyable path. The body's response to injury is pain. Pain is a survival mechanism designed to tell you that there's something wrong. But when the body continues to experience injury, it assumes that there is a more extended emergency, where the debilitating effects of pain are more harm than the warning it gives. Its response is to send painkillers: endorphines. The chemicals morphine and similar drugs were intended to replicate. The high is supposedly quite similar (I've neither done hard drugs, nor been seriously injured, so I don't know myself), consisting of euphoria and the feeling of being disconnected from your body, with the differences that 1: it's not illegal, and 2: your body is producing these chemicals, and WILL NOT let you overdose on them. For those who can get past the initial experience, it's wonderful indeed.

I've rambled for quite a while now, and shall go for the moment. I may add more, especially if anyone has any more specific questions or interests they'd like to discuss.

I completely and utterly hold my hand up here... Handcuffs, blindfolds, candlewax, biting, scratching... all turn me on. I love to give a massage, and I love giving head before she takes control.

It's the element of trust that's the turn-on. While my head is in-between her legs, and she clamps her thighs together, I know I've got her full attention, and she's in my power. (I haven't said the name of my girlfriend here cuz if she sees this, and she sometimes comes on totse, she'll kick my ass!).

Then when she cuffs me up, I am helpless, and that also turns me on loads...

Mebbe I'm just a bit twisted.

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bYe ByE bAbY...
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[This message has been edited by MoRt (edited 07-05-2001).]

i am pretty dominatin normaly, but i like to be the weak one in bed.
i hold my hands up in tha aiere; TORTURE ME!
I LOVE IT HARD AND DEEP and stuff like that.
hihi



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just me cant u see? if u dont like me...click this.

*Laughs unrestrainedly*

ow impressive, how you all like to Rhapsodize about me, i AM NOT BETTER THAN ANYONE HERE AND I DONT HAVE ANY THING YOU ALL CANNOT ATTAIN.

so fix, you want to know my laud to the fetishness of the flesh huh?

all the woman,and men that have mostly consensus sex can vary,

basically the guy will mostly controll the cituation and have the energy pace etc.

so when a WOMAN in dominatrix form takes this ATMOSPHERE,

it Makes more acute; as of one's senses,
more extreme; raise in quantity, degree, or intensity, stronger, or more marked,

it is a Calculative principal and interest,
SHE HAVING HER OWN EXPRESSION, puts you on the receiving end as opposed to the other way round,

and Creates by mixing or combining,Having accumulated or become more intense a redoubled as her concentrated passion holds you at bay.

FIX i have been dominated by two woman before, on meth, and i have never climaxed so hard, ooo i cant even think about it, i get a saw cock.

it was The Darker Side of Desire
Imminent madness.
What range,What breath,
What dungeon of angular echoes.
Castaways from a Cathedral of Silence.
Given power to create a spiral of masks,
Bearing witness to the dreams of suspicion, and fear.

i think i will go have some crystal meth, and ring som ho's and get them over.

hahahaaaar, later men.lol

before i do,

interesting juju,

i never realised the chemical sensations of pain neutralisers that can go on in this cituation. hmm, interesting

so juju, tell us, what is a good scene, to arousal in this tantric violence,

tell us a good, scene, (advanced) not noviced,

and i will play it out, hurry up, its fiday, i have cyrstal, and horny ho's.

some thing that can go beyound boundrys.

*nihil*-so freddy boy,what lies beyound creation?

*freddy boy*-i dont know nihil, but the question shouldent be WHY,but why not.

lol-hurry up with my violence please.

Depends what your boundaries are Nihil.. There's a different line for everyone.. Pain wise, mentally, everything.. Some people feel that even mild bondage is too far, others would prefer the much darker side of sex, pain, humiliation etc..

I'm guessing Nihil gets a kick out of being feminized, or would, if he hasn't had it yet..

Ain't that right my lil slave girl?

I've played both sides of sub and dom too, prefer sub because I get a kick out of pain, but sometimes being dom is good in an entirely different way.. just takes way more effort than being submissive..

I dont think pain should be a part of sex. ....well atleast not with me.. I like furry little pink handcuffs, and whipped cream and strawberry's and shit.
But no leather whips or any of that shit. that's just.. i don't know.
I use whips on my horses. ....see?

Hey, whatever floats *your* boat..

Personally, I'll continue to do what feels good.. regardless of the opinion of others.

lol suz, in your dreams girl.

when i dominate you, i will make you run down the main street of your city, naked with a rubber glove on your head yelling "hi every one i am a rooster"

i might give you some meth-lol

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totally nihilistic

i like the idea of having stuff done to me but in a kinky way being tied up is coo but i do like have the other person in my control and vise versa.

You think these are your options to make huh Nihil?

And I still think I'm right about what you'd like..

Both hands up and waving very excitedly!

haaarr, suz, i am more so emphatically tuned into being MALE than wanting to be femanized? lol.

see womans strengths lie in maternal and compassionate natures(child bearing etc) plus they too can grow their minds to be as aware as their other(male).

but males have what you cannot equal.

STRONGER STRENGTH, and testos girl.

*bangs his chest*

as if i would want to be down with the female leval-lol

gee suz, you would think you could tame me, lol.

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totally nihilistic

It is precisely because of your insistance on displaying your manhood at every turn, that I believe you'd get a kick out of someone forcing you to be the complete opposite..

Physical strength is nothing compared to other kinds of strength.. which have nothing to do with what sex you are.

As for thinking I could tame you, no.. I wouldn't want to even try.. that's the point.

phisicall strength is nothing compared....

how would you know?

what are you a muscle head bitch on steroids with a cloteros the size of a 10 year old boys cock? that also plays pc games

huh? tel me.

you cannot know the motervation strength does to the will, the mind and well being etc for a MALE.

have you done the dishes yet? go and get the nihil a fucking beer bitch. why do you think your feet are smaller than mine girl, ITS SO you can get closer to the sink bitch.

*lol*

displaying my man hood?,

ya ill do that on any lamb that trys to STAND OVER ME AND HAVE ANY POWER over me, with his/her 'primative'verbal meconium.

bitch!

why would i want some one of YOUR leval to tame me any way.

that is the point WOMAN.
plus i also like fetish stuff for reasons that dont include 'those themes'

dumb (fat)ass

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totally nihilistic

How would I know? Because of who I am, because of what I have survived through, because of what I have done, and what I will do.

Lame cliches nihil, is that all you can throw at me?

No, I'm not a muscle head bitch on steroids. I'm a very unique female, with unique talents and insights. Just because I like gaming, doesn't mean crap.. I also like books, people, sex, hockey, my job, programming, and a million and one other things. I don't fit into any of your boxes nihil. I don't try to be someone or something else, unlike you. I have no need to display at every turn my personal philosophies, nor to declare my power over men because of my appearance. Unlike you, I simply am who I am. That's what true strength is, the power to be yourself, survive your life, and to show that to the people around you, without putting out a ridiculous facade.

Why use woman like an insult? I'm perfectly happy being a woman.. for one thing, I don't have to live my life controlled by my hormones, as some people around here obviously do..

*steals Trippy's line*

Bwahahahaha..

well done suz, you just proved to me you fit in boxes(lol-box is australian slang for pussy)

you just displayed and judged your self like a big ego male.(the female version-lol)

i did it to emphasise where i was comming from and to back up the seriousness of my dedication against mindless drivel and to the demise of the machine.

why did you do it again?.

ahr to prove your self,

huh?, what? to me.

what are you stalking me woman!

and this will not count as make up sex either.

suzi, do you shave down there?

lol

Ahh, so I'm male now?

Your boxes get more and more ridiculous with time..

Yes.

Not bad, nihil, but there's one thing you seem to be forgetting- a person can be aware of themselves (ie. like the way Suz described herself) without allowing what they know of themselves to define their existence. Ex.: I'm of half-Italian descent, but do I act like a guido or something? No.

Still.. you talk about Suz putting herself into boxes, not of your creation, but hers.. had you been talking to most other people, you'd be right. I'm fairly impressed, whether you care or not.

I really had no preference for dom/sub at all up until a few months ago. There was this one girl who was HOT, I mean goddess, 10 on the age-old scale hot. And she dug me. It was cool, I never had a girl that hot dig me before. So, nature took it's course and we ended up at my apartment in my bedroom. I was so hot for her and her likewise, we stripped each other very quickly, and at that point I kind of lost it, her top was off, but her panties were on. I went porno movie on her, I flipped her over on her front, literally tore her panties off, and fucked her harder than I've ever fucked before, complete with smackin dat ass. Best sex I've had. She's my g/f now

the bigger they are the harder they fall.