I have a pretty wierd family dynamics and now that I've moved out to Florida I'm meeting a whole new side of my family (my pops), and really, his only surviving family either doesn't doesn't talk to him or isn't really related to him.

For example: His first wife, Remy who had his first daughter with him. Her name is Tamaras and she became a reckless grunge musician and a lesbian to boot.

I grew up in San Francisco where everyone is bisexual if not gay and now I come out here and I'm faced with Remy and her new husband (who really she's been married to for about 10 years) Bob, and they are devoute Jews. In fact, Bob is a fucking rabbi! And they think that homosexuality is the biggest abomination against God.

I haven't seen Tamaras since I was nine years old, and her band was playing up in St. Petersburg for this lesbian festival and I really wanted to go see her but Bob and Remy would've rather died than go see their heathen daughter... It's so sad!

Also, my pop is this total hippy guy and he thinks it's absoloutely great that Tamaras is a lesbian, because "at least she's not reproducing". You know?

To make it worst, I am blatantly bisexual. O Lord, I love the female form. Women can be so beautiful. Men, too. I couldn't imagine living without being able to see that in both sexes. But, I understand that some people don't feel that way.

So, of course, in my naivity I sort of struck a conversation with Remy today about Tamaras's lesbianism. (By the way, you can look her up at www.WallofSound.com) And before I could even say anything she just about condemned Tamaras to Hell. And all of a sudden I was really scared that if she found out about me being bisexual she might want me to just burst into flames.

I know she's not directly blood family, but she is all the family my pop has, really, and I'd like to know her. She's a really intelligent person and she and I have great conversations. Of course, I don't have to tell her. But, it sort of freaked me out a little. Now I kind of feel dirty?

Are my feelings justifiable? Or am I overreacting?

Cheers,
Lost

You are who you are. If she can't handle it, she can't. You can't control her mind, so it can't be your problem, nor something that should affect the way you feel about yourself, no?

If you like talking to her, and telling her about your bisexuality would make her blindly hate you.. well, don't tell her. If you feel a dire need to do so, you know the likely result.

I'm with spiffy. Religion is really fucked up. It's bigoted, narrow minded views that are dirty so don't worry about that.

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~Kameron
Carpe Aptenodytes! (Seize the Penguins!)

I know it sounds funny, but sometimes even someone you vehemently disagree with can still be a valuable friend. All you have to do is remember that there are some aspects that some people will never see eye to eye about, but there will be others that you do.

On the other hand, you really have to believe that the relationsip is worth holding back part of your feelings. I know it's difficult for me to do that, it's like holding my breath when the other person's in the room. Just have to ask yourself if your time spent with this person is valuable enough to feel that way when you're around 'em.

Others' convictions can be hard to stand up to sometimes, but don't let her get ya down for being who you are. Just keep it on the common ground and come rant at us if you feel the urge to vent.

You never know once the point of the conversation turns to you her point of view might change completely, you are the only person in a position to judge.. You say that she is intelligent and that you enjoy talking I would recommend trying to start up another conversion to try to find out more about her point of views and if you can try and argue the case for your side in a style which doesn�t show your feelings toward the matter. I would keep in mind what she will feel the longer you leave telling her as she may feel that you have deceived her and because of this may feel betrayed. I wish you luck and hope that you manage to find a solution to your dilemma�

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Do as I say, Not as I do.
Visit my BSS Deaths Kitchen www.fieldings43.freeserve.co.uk/DK.htm

Okay, so I'm Really late coming into this conversation.. but I do have something useful to add.

My motto that I live by? "Never offer information."

Don't lie to her, if she outright asks you, then be honest.. if she doesn't and never does, well then that's all the better. The more she gets to know you, the better. It's that whole: Okay, I know and love you, and *now I'm finding out about your (flaw in their eyes) feelings, and I don't want to fault you because I know and love you too much.

Once she gets to know you really well, and doesn't immediately shut you out, then she'll have to consider. Then again.. with their own daughter.. that's harsh. Good luck either way. Hopefully she'll never ask.

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So there.

umm, I forgot what I was gonna say but I still want to say this you are a better person than her and she is to quik to judge so be who you are and she will have to except yuou in her own way.

oh and kamerons Idea is good to.

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cogito, ergo sum

Thanks everyone. I feel a lot better about it now.

Cheers,
Lost

don't worry about it.
as spiffy said, you are who you are.
if she can't handle it, then fuck it, she won't understand.
there's nothing wrong with being bisexual and i admire you for being honest. i probably wouldn't have the balls to do that.
just take it as it comes.

psycho_8b

if you are just meeting your pops now, how did he give you weed for every b-day you ever had, and acid when you were 5.

Oh, yea thanks right i just proved you are full of shit.

Cheers ,
SLP