Jesus....before i start i wanna apologisse in advance to all the women in the forums.

Ok i was in History today and i REALLY needed a fart...so i thought yeah ok feels like a fairly small,silent one so i thought id left it out. Well i did and by god it was the loudest fart ive ever heard in my life,possibly amplified in sound by the plastic chair. So the whol damn class heard it,including my girlfreind who sits behind me and if that wasnt bad enough my teacher made me stand in front of the fucking class and explain why i farted!!(supposedly he was gonna say something importantn and it disrupted him) That was bad!!! AND i have to bring in a letter of apology tommorow saying im sorry signed by my parents!! JESUS CHRIST I WANNA DIE,lol!!

quote:

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Originally posted by Deathrow588:
Jesus....before i start i wanna apologisse in advance to all the women in the forums.

Ok i was in History today and i REALLY needed a fart...so i thought yeah ok feels like a fairly small,silent one so i thought id left it out. Well i did and by god it was the loudest fart ive ever heard in my life,possibly amplified in sound by the plastic chair. So the whol damn class heard it,including my girlfreind who sits behind me and if that wasnt bad enough my teacher made me stand in front of the fucking class and explain why i farted!!(supposedly he was gonna say something importantn and it disrupted him) That was bad!!! AND i have to bring in a letter of apology tommorow saying im sorry signed by my parents!! JESUS CHRIST I WANNA DIE,lol!!

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they certainly do things differently in Scotland...

what did your girlfriend have to say?

First of all:

*points and laughs at you*

But really, they're making you apologize for farting? What kind of shit is that? You might have busted an organ if you didn't let it out.

quote:

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Originally posted by Deathrow588:
Jesus....before i start i wanna apologisse in advance to all the women in the forums.

Ok i was in History today and i REALLY needed a fart...so i thought yeah ok feels like a fairly small,silent one so i thought id left it out. Well i did and by god it was the loudest fart ive ever heard in my life,possibly amplified in sound by the plastic chair. So the whol damn class heard it,including my girlfreind who sits behind me and if that wasnt bad enough my teacher made me stand in front of the fucking class and explain why i farted!!(supposedly he was gonna say something importantn and it disrupted him) That was bad!!! AND i have to bring in a letter of apology tommorow saying im sorry signed by my parents!! JESUS CHRIST I WANNA DIE,lol!!

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Put a strong laxitive in the teacher's coffee for revenge?

that is fuckedup your teachers tell you off for that. haha your gf will have got the downwind!!

*points and giggles*

Fuck dude, I know just what you mean. Damn plastic chairs.

OMG that's harsh, making you aplogise... funny though *points and laughs*.

I'd be interested to hear what your girlfreind said as well?

Been there, done that. The fart you describe is known as "Bleacher fart"... It's when what you're sitting on acts as a natural amplifier to your fart...

You're thinking it's going to be a silent wind... you lean over, tilt onto one ass-cheek, and slowly attempt to release...

BWWWWRRRRFFFFPLPLPLPLPLPLP

Failure!! Nooo!!!


I always tried to pass it off as squeeking my foot on the floor or desk leg

Yeah i think the only reason he made me do all that crap was cos i farted at the wrong time,which is just my luck,and it pissed him off,. And yeah, i havent spoken to my girlfreind yet but i think she was disgusted.
Shit, i dont wanna see her tommorow

quote:

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Originally posted by Ps514:
I'd be interested to hear what your girlfreind said as well?

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Well when i was up in front of the class explaining why i farted(wtf? everyone farts) i could see her face and well....she looked,embarassed,sickened,disgusted,angry and ...something else, all in one so...

Did you explain that it was the natural result of gas in your intestines from digesting food?

No i thought he might think i was being smart so i just said...
" Im sorry for causing an interuption, i thought it would be slightly less noticable and thats why i let it go. I also felt a little ill and i thought letting the excess gas escape might help me concentrate"
Fuck knows how i cam up with ANYTHING after the public humiliation i suffered.

Pft. That's nothing. My uncle was sitting downstairs one time when he proudly proclaimed "I'm need to fart!". At which point he did.

Five minutes later, he ran to the bathroom and it became apparent that he had actually shit himself.

Now that was fun.

Christ imagine doing that in school! Then having to stand there explaining why you shat yourself in front of the class!! It makes me feel a littel better but i still have to face the world tommorow

If anyone asks about it, just say, "Yeah, that was pretty funny," or something along those lines. Everyone farts, don't take any shit for it and don't get embarrassed about it.

I wasn't so much embarassed just em...ashamed mainly because my girlfreind (possibly ex now) wintessed the whole thing and was sitting behind me so im sure she must have smelt it!! Although at least loud farts dont normally smell as bad as the small puffy ones.

"because an asshole like you deserves to smell that"

"because it's fucking funny!"

"I was just trying to make the class a little more interesting"

The first three things that popped into my head to say in that situation. No wonder i'm always in trouble.

...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

*points and laughs*


hey, did your kilt blow up as well?

hahahahahha

I had a guy do that in class once. It was pretty hillarious. Next time just throw up your hands and cheer for yourself. Teacher might kick you out but noone else will care.

There's only one solution, Deathrow. You have to bring a gun to school and kill everyone.
--Hey, it worked for Dylan and Eric! (considering you're from Scotland, you may not understand..)

[This message has been edited by puzzledmind (edited 01-28-2003).]

I hoep you learned your lesson about farting. Never do it in a public place where it can offend others... Unless they're ass holes(no pun intended) now that is a different situation...

quote:

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Originally posted by Deathrow588:
No i thought he might think i was being smart so i just said...
" Im sorry for causing an interuption, i thought it would be slightly less noticable and thats why i let it go. I also felt a little ill and i thought letting the excess gas escape might help me concentrate"
Fuck knows how i cam up with ANYTHING after the public humiliation i suffered.

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See, its here where you made your mistake !!! You should have made it as if, you have farted purposely [because the class is boring,etc] and it would have turned into laughter [Even your GF would have laughed]!!!

You should have said, "Hey, sir you want another one ?" [release the gas]

In music class a guy did that and the teacher made him apologize and then made him sit the closet for the rest of class(yes folks in the USA) Well she forgot about him and he fell asleep and the janitor found him after school was out.
Sadly that's all I remembered about him for years.
The really sad part is I ended up dating him.
Guys fart. Girls fart. Girls need to get over the fact that guys fart. Gas happens, get over it

One of my ex-girlfriends told me that the reason she divorced her first husband was because he would fart in bed, then shove her head under the covers, and then ask her..."How's that smell"?

If your girlfriend is mad tell her that story.

Trust me ten years from now you will be sitting around with your friends laughing your ass off about it.

Reminds me when a couple of my friends had a farting contest in World History last year, one guy had a tally of like 40 something..ah the memories.