1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, & Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with. This is due to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits/second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has .001 second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles/household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles; not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding & etc. So Santa's sleigh must be moving at 650 miles/second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles/second. A conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles/hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 lb.), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 lb. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see #1) could pull 10 TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with 8, or even 9 reindeer. We need 214,200. This increases the payload - not counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. This is four times the weight of the ocean-liner Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles/second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat up the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within .00426 of a second. Meanwhile, Santa will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-lb Santa (seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 lb. of force.

If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

( Joke found at http://www.datatek.net/Humor/A%20Scientific%20Inquiry%20into%20Santa )

What? I remember reading somewhere in Europe a university said something like this as well.. Its friggin hilarious and informative.. too bad the kids didnt take it as well...

Merry Christmas and have a happy.... Boxing Day!

75.4 percent of statistics are made up on the spot

*pfft*... Santa believer...

COMPLETELY INCORRECT!

32.945727463982% are.

quote:

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there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified

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i never understood how we could put a number on something we haven't figured out.


[very entertaining...

i'll bug lots of people with those facts as the days grow fewer and fewer 'til xmas]

[and then i'll bug them about it in May just to see what happens.]

[This message has been edited by CRaZyAmishMaN (edited 12-17-2002).]

Santa believer?
is that in mexico

you idiot, santa has magic to save him from physics

look. everyone knows santa is the boss and he has helpers that deliver for him.
like fed ex
there isn't one Mr Fed ex, therre are thousands of delivery poeple. it's the same principle
duh!!

btw i'm not one to be a party pooper but in all honesty i really fucking hate christmas.
if it wasn't for my girlfriend and the whole getting pissed thing i'd gladly give it all a miss.

I'm thinking about making some tshirts for my kids(3&4 years old) that say "there is no Santa, Your parents lied". Then walking around toy stores just to piss people off. My kids have already gotten into an argument with their teachers (daycare) about santa and will probably only get worse.

this is ridiculous... NONE OF YOU KNOW SANTA LIKE I DO!!!

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if it wasn't for my girlfriend and the whole getting pissed thing i'd gladly give it all a miss.

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EXACTLY my feelings.

i buy presents for people i don't respect, i don't like, i only want pussy from, ect.

and i HATE doing it.

i HATE recieving presents too! even if it's something i really want, i don't like accepting it from someone i don't like.

why would i deserve things from someone i don't like? or someone that i don't think truely likes me?

it's bullshit.

[rlpinca- you are the man.]

I cant hide it any longer, I'm santa.

I think the whole Christmas thing is just a way to get people to go shopping. It's just a pain in the ass. I plan on telling my kids the truth about all holidays, there's nothing to gain by lying to them and it could hurt them when they find out there is no santa, easter bunny, tooth fairy and all that other shit. I also plan on letting the teachers in elementary know not to try to force that crap on my kids.

Fuck easter, thanksgiving, christmas, arbor day, memorial day, july 4th, new years and all the rest too. They don't matter. The only purpose they serve is for stores to have a sale and for the banks to close.

Pfft...Santa got tired of all you bitchs all around the world...So now he just comes to canada...That way he is close to home....

I'm going to teach my kids about Santa. Let them believe in something for a bit of their life.

I mean, by the age of about 8 they will probably stop believing in Santa. By the age of about 18 they will probably stop believing in God. And by the age of about 20 onwards they will probably believe in nothing.

Let them have a bit of fun while they are still innocent...

In the UK, a clergyman scientifically "disproved" the idea of Santa to three year olds....

Ah the good old days. I remember believing in Santa. I used to write a letter to him every year until I was 7 (not counting when I was a baby). Then my brother told me he wasn�t real and I got so mad. I didn�t talk to my parents for a couple of days after Christmas. I hate being lied to.

When I have children I�m going to tell them Santa doesn�t exist. Why have some stranger you don�t know give you gifts when you can have your loving parents give you them.



Certijal

"I cant hide it any longer, I'm santa."

I don't know why but that made me laugh really loud...

(I don't know how to do the quotey thingies, can someone tell me how.)

Happy Agnostica

Read here for formating instructions.

ahah this post is funny. ever watch that thing on the discovery channel about santa? you wont believe this, but NORAD keeps burning money to give little kids radar and sattelite tracking of santa's sleigh. SANTAS SLEIGH? on fuckin NORAD?!?! what the hell is this country coming to.

quote:

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So now he just comes to canada...That way he is close to home....

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ah, canada, the land of fat, stupid, furry middle aged fucks.

santa'll feel right at home.

[no, no, i love the canucks...]
[is that how you spell it, canuck?]

Canuck.....

Hmmm... yes....

Canadians spell it Colour...

Americans spell it Color....

Canadians say "zed"

Americans say "z"

..... Imperial... Metric....

Yeesh... you americans are so gonna have to make some changes soon....

quote:

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Originally posted by ytter_man:
ahah this post is funny. ever watch that thing on the discovery channel about santa? you wont believe this, but NORAD keeps burning money to give little kids radar and sattelite tracking of santa's sleigh. SANTAS SLEIGH? on fuckin NORAD?!?! what the hell is this country coming to.

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All somwone has to do is launch a missile at us while NORAD is bussy watching Santa. Theoretically anyway...

quote:

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Originally posted by Obelisk1125:
All somwone has to do is launch a missile at us while NORAD is bussy watching Santa. Theoretically anyway...

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I never knew santa was Iraqi

Look! its santas rocket propelled sleigh and its payload of nuclear and biological 'gifts'

By the way... Happy Festivus

Its Festivus for the rest of us